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Disclaimer: I do not own The Pretender nor do I have any rights to use them. TNT holds all rights and I dare to use them without permission. This is a piece of non-profit fanfiction so please do not sue. Neither do I own the song "Owner of my heart" by Sasha (a German artist).

Title: Owner of my heart
By: Chris
Rated: G
Spoilers: None
Keywords: JMPR


If you think I've let you down
Tried to fool you
There's no need to

The stars seemed to stare down at him as he was lying in the grass. It was a mild midsummer evening and he had just finished his pretend. Before moving on to the next place of action he had allowed himself a little break. He had never been on holidays or something like that but he didn't need to. He was contented just to lie here and stare at the sky.

If you think I've played around
Why do you worry
You should know me

Parker had wanted to get to bed early but she couldn't sleep. Today had been hard work and she felt exhausted. Even though she longed for sleep it didn't come. She was staring at the ceiling. Her white satin gown was sticking to her skin because it was unbearably hot inside the room. She tossed the thin blanket aside and got out of bed again.
Every time she was alone and suffering from insomnia the unwanted thoughts came back. The unwanted thoughts of Jarod and what he would be doing right now. Would he be thinking of her? Was he near? Was he far? What was he thinking right now? She didn't want to think these thoughts but they came whenever they wanted. What if she would allow these thoughts to take over? What if she admitted her love to him? Would those thought go away?

I've been true, right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

Jarod wondered if Parker was thinking of him again. There was this shiver down his spine again. This feeling came whenever Parker was thinking of him or so he believed. What else could it be? He had loved her from the first time he had seen her. She had been the one who had given him the first kiss. She insisted on this kiss being only a kiss with no emotions but he knew better. Even though Sydney had controlled the situation, there had been something in her kiss that had resulted in their emotional bond. He could feel her whenever she was near or thinking of him.

If you look straight in my eyes
You will know I'm not pretending

The cellphone rang. Why? It was in the middle of the night. How could he possibly know that she was suffering from insomnia again and that she was thinking of him again? She sighed and answered the phone.
"You were thinking of me," was the only thing he said. Then he stayed silent, waiting for her reply. She sighed. She opened the door to the porch and sat down in the grass.
"Why are you doing this to me, Jarod?"
"What AM I doing Parker?"
"Calling me in the middle of the night? Disturbing me in my sleep?"
"You were suffering from insomnia again and you were thinking of me. And because you don't have my phone number to call, I thought that I better call you in case you wanted to talk to me. I wouldn't wanna miss this. Am I right?"

I don't hide, there's no disguise
Why you doubt me, that's a strange thing

"How do you know?"
"I know you Parker, and I can feel it. You desperately need someone to talk to but there's nobody there to listen, except me. Daddy won't listen, you don't want to talk to a shrinker and so on. There's one thing you're missing. That shrinker named Sydney is the only one you can talk to. You know it, right? Your mother did it and so could you but you don't want to open your heart to someone. The last time you did, the one was murdered. And you fear that this will happen again, right?"
The line seemed dead.
"Parker, are you still there?"
"Yup."

I've been true, right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

Suddenly she was sobbing and there was nothing Jarod could do to comfort her. He desperately wanted to hug her and to kiss her tears away. He felt stupid trying to comfort her with words through the phone but it would have to do.
"Jarod, why can't you be here with me?"
He was totally caught by surprise. He'd never expected that she'd open herself to him, that she ever admitted her feeling for him.
"Do you want me to come to your place?"
"Would you do this for me?"
"I'm not sure if I can trust you but I hope you won't call in a sweeper team to welcome me."
He heard that she was smiling when she said the next sentence.

I can't just stand by watching you walk away
Knowing you still belong with me

"Isn't it enough that I admitted my feelings to you? Doesn't this make you trust me?"
"Yes, it does, but there's something in your voice that makes me wonder if you really mean what you say. Minutes ago you've been crying and now you sound almost cheerful."
"That's the outcome of your proposal of meeting me. Will you really meet me?"
"I'll be there within the hour. Don't go away, will you?"
"No, I'll be waiting for you right where I am, I promise."
She nearly started crying when he hung up the phone but had to start smiling when she imagined herself standing alone in her room crying because Jarod had ended the phone call. He would be with her. A tiny little part inside her wanted to call a sweeper team but her heart's desire to see him was much stronger. She wanted to share her joy with someone and picked up the phone again. She wasn't sure if her phone was safe but nevertheless she called Sydney. She knew it was in the middle of the night, but she had to tell him.

Close by my side
You think I don't care,
But forever, I swear

The phone still in his hands he stared at the sky. Had he really agreed on visiting her? Was this a trap or was she really lonely and desperate to see him? He hoped it would be the latter. He couldn't wait to see her and to hold her in his arms. To inhale her sweet scent, to kiss her. He had been waiting for so long he couldn't' believe that his dreams were finally coming true. And he hoped that she would still be in the same mood as she was when they had talked to each other via the phone. She had sounded so vulnerable and almost like a real woman, not the Ice Queen she always pretended to be. There had been the real Miss Parker at the phone, the little girl he had missed, the wonderful friend she had been to him before her mother had died and she had been sent to boarding school.

Ooh, my love has grown stronger
And that I can't hide
I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

It took him a while to realize that his phone was ringing. He looked at his clock, it was in the middle of the night. Who could be calling him this late?
"This is Sydney?" he mumbled, his voice telling her that he had been asleep.
"Sydney, this is Parker. Did I wake you?"
"No, you didn't, I just went to bed."
"Can you meet me?"
"In the middle of the night? Can't this wait until tomorrow?"
"Please, Syd, this can't wait."
Something in her voice was different and he really believed that it was urgent.
"OK, I'll be with you in half an hour."
"Don't hurry. Take your time to fully wake up. I'm sorry I've woken you."
"But you didn't --"
"I did and I'm sorry for that. Thank you, Syd."
She hung up before he could say anything else. He wondered what was going on. He thought that he knew her but something was different now and he had no idea what. She sounded as if she'd been crying but at the same time she sounded cheerful.

I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

He knew that he would need more than an hour to get from Atlantic City to Blue Cove if he had to get there by car. He smiled at himself. Flying would be much faster. He drove to the airport and gave the car to a friend who allowed him to take her helicopter instead.
"You're an angel, Jamie, you know?"
"I don't need the heli anyway. When will you be back?"
"I don't know. I'll call you later, OK?"
"Alright. Enjoy your date."
"How do you know it's a date?"
"It's the way you smile," Jamie grinned and turned her back towards Jarod. She admired the navy jeep Jarod had left for her. She sat behind the stirring wheel and found a note.
"Take the car as a sign of my gratitude. You will find the heli in Blue Cove, Delaware on the heliport. Sorry that I haven't told you but this is urgent. A friend needs my help. Enjoy your ride to Delaware and take good care of your new car. Jarod."
She wanted to ask what this was all about but Jarod was already inside the heli and ready for liftoff. She watched him disappear into the darkness and only shook her head. He was a great guy but she had no idea what he was thinking and who he really was.

No one can tell me
'cause I know for sure
When I'm not with you, baby
I'm wasting my time

The hour was nearly over when the doorbell rang. She was still dressed in her satin gown. She opened the door and looked at Sydney. He looked confused when he saw her in the nightgown but he didn't say anything. She asked him in and hoped that Jarod would be there like he had promised. Otherwise she would make a complete fool of herself.
"Are you alright, Parker?" Sydney asked when he entered the room. She only nodded.
"Jarod called."
"Is he in trouble?"
"I really wish I knew. He -- he will be here soon. I wanted you to be around as well. I know you love him like your son and this is my way of apologizing."
"Apologize? For what?"
"Jarod told me that I was a fool. He said that -- that I should trust you and I didn't trust you. I know this sounds weak but I feel like I have betrayed you in not trusting you."

I'll do anything that you want me to do
Ooh, just call out my name, can't she
Give me a sign, give me a sign

The doorbell rang again and Sydney had no time to say anything to Parker. He didn't know if Jarod expected him here so he stayed in the background. Parker took Jarod by the hand and led him into the room.
"I know you wanted nobody else here but I couldn't but call Sydney. He's been desperate to see you and I felt that I had to make up some of my mistakes. I hope you don't mind."
Jarod just smiled and brushed Parker's cheeks with his lips.
"Nice to see you. Hello Sydney."
He went over to his mentor who had been like a father to him. He hugged him and then turned back to Miss Parker. She grinned when Jarod looked at her with an asking glance. She had nearly forgotten that she was only wearing her nightgown.

If you just give me some time
To convince you

"No, I'm not thinking what you think I'm thinking." Jarod laughed. "I was just wondering why you chose this outfit. You look great, Parker."
She smiled and looked at Sydney. He was uncomfortable. She knew that she shouldn't have called him and somehow she felt guilty for waking him up. A single tear found its way down her cheek and both Jarod and Sydney were beside her and wanted to comfort her. She felt like a little child protected by her brother and her father. They would have made such a wonderful family. She loved Sydney like a father and he had been like a father to both her and Jarod. But somehow it seemed wrong to be sitting here in the living room. She had to smile involuntarily.
"Why don't you sit down and talk for a while while I get dressed and make some coffee?"
She left them without another word and went into her bedroom. Jarod hugged Sydney once more and then they sat down on the sofa.
"I had no idea what Parker wanted me to do in the middle of the night," Sydney said and sighed.
"But you came anyway."
"She's like a daughter to me and she sounded sad, I thought she needed someone to talk to or someone to hold her hand--."
"She does need you, Syd. I've told her more than once that she should trust you but she didn't. I don't know what made her change her mind."

We can pull through
Let me see what's on your mind

"You, Jarod," her voice came from upstairs. She came down the stairs dressed in a dark green sweater which once belonged to Thomas and a pair of jeans. She was barefooted and looked wonderful. Her hair was tied back to a lose tail and Jarod couldn't help but admire her beauty.
"I'll be in the kitchen and prepare some coffee," she said and walked through the room without making any sound. Sydney and Jarod looked after her and both smiled. They hadn't seen her so content in a long time and to both of them the evening was special. Jarod still had a bad conscience about Jamie and her helicopter but the thoughts about Parker were stronger.

I won't change you
I don't have to

"Tell me what has happened in the last weeks. I am curious. How is your search for your parents going? What about love? What about you?"
"These are many questions and I'm sure Parker would like to hear some of the answers as well. What happened? I'm still trying to escape from the Centre teams which are constantly at my heels. Sometimes there are a few weeks when I feel almost like a free man and only few thoughts go to the Centre but in other weeks all my thoughts gather round escaping them and I can't concentrate on my work anymore. These weeks are hard and the only thing that helps me relax are the thoughts about you, Broots and Parker. I don't know what I would do without you."
Parker came into the room and brought three mugs filled with coffee. She sat down between Sydney and Jarod and gave each one a mug. Sydney couldn't help but smile when she took her cup and held it like a drowning man held to a straw. Both Sydney and Jarod decided to ignore it and started making small talk.
The mugs were empty and the dawn was rising. Sydney put the mug on the table and got up.
"It's time for me to go. I need a few hours of sleep and work is calling as well."
"Thank you so much for coming," Parker said and gave him a hug, "I should have said it earlier but somehow I couldn't. You're wonderful, Syd."
"Thanks Parker. I always knew you were a little like your mother. You just needed time to find out. Do I see you later?"
"Maybe. I don't know yet. But please tell nobody you've been here or what you've seen."
"What for?"

I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

Parker just smiled and watched Sydney hug Jarod. He waved goodbye and left the two of them alone. The door closed behind him and Jarod watched Parker who was getting nervous once more.
"Why are you nervous, Parker? I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know but something's different. We're alone and I'm not going to hunt you down. It's an unfamiliar feeling."
"It's not. You know that feeling but it's been long ago since you felt it."
"It feels good just being me. I'm tired of pretending to be an Ice Queen. I'm tired of hunting you. I'm tired of living my live alone. Can't we just pretend all of this never happened? Can't we just be young again? Before all those terrible things happened?"
"Parker, you haven't changed a bit. You're simply pretending to have changed. Everything can be like it was when we were young."

I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

"Would you still kiss me?"
"Would you still hold my hand?"
They grinned and Jarod slowly closed his lips over Parker's. She closed her eyes and relaxed.
"You were right, Jarod," she said afterwards, "Nothing has changed. I still love you."

I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart









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