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Chapter or Story
Author's Note: The end! Woo-hoo! This has been a really, really long journey. . . I hope it proved amusing for all those still reading this! :D But now it's done. Whee!
List Provided By: Unknown.
Sibling Rivalry XXI
Part Two
by: chopsticks
p g
-----
Sydney's hunch was indeed correct. Even while listening with half an ear to the first list being recited by the escaped serial killer (who broke down in tears and sobbingly turned himself in at the end of the entire production), Miss Parker was creating yet another list that she would post, though as of yet she wasn't quite sure how.
She didn't want to cause another big commotion, but it seemed that all her ideas for posting the list would cause just that. So what would be the best, non-commotion-inspiring way to post the list?
Genius struck a few minutes later, as did a bolt of lightning in the parking lot, making a group of sweepers' car start on fire.
As Miss Parker made her way out of her office, she thought she heard voices yelling a litany of swear words, but it might have been her imagination. After all, she was hung over.
-----
Sydney, who had decided to take a stroll around The Centre for no readily apparent reason, made his way back to his office. The very first thing he noticed was that it seemed to be a little bit louder outside his office than normal, in that there was actual sound echoing in the hallway rather than the dead silence he was so accustomed to.
The second thing he noticed was the large crowd gathered around his office door. Or, more accurately, the wall next to his office door. Sydney instantly knew what was happening, but kept his approach quiet. He made his way to the back of the crowd and craned his head, trying to see what the list said. He accidentally bumped into the person next to him, who whipped his head around in surprise to look at the man that had crept up on him.
"Oh! Sydney!" the man exclaimed, instantly recognizing the psychiatrist. He placed a hand over his heart and took a deep breath, bending over slightly. "You gave me such a fright!"
"I apologize. What's the list say up there?" Sydney asked, gesturing toward the wall.
"Oh, I haven't a clue. I haven't been able to get close enough to read it. But, now that you're here, I bet we could get closer to it!"
"Yes, I suppose we could." And with that, the duo began to move forward in the crowd, gently pushing their way to the front, apologizing the entire way. Since it was only Sydney, and not, for instance, Miss Parker or Mr. Lyle, the crowd did not run off in a fright, instead accepting the gracious apologies and moving out of the way. It really does pay to be a nice person sometimes, even at The Centre.
Sydney gently removed the list from the wall, taking care in removing the thumbtack so it wouldn't leave an obvious mark. This seemed to end the fun for the crowd, and it slowly began to dissipate, while Sydney and his newfound companion read the list in silence, punctuated by the occasional bit of laughter on both their parts.
Words Created By Sydney
(From personal experience.)
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal' side.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Sydney laughed at the last one the most, knowing he always did that. One thing the twins did not think of when posting the lists to Sydney was that he was quite hard to anger, and it could really only be done by Mr. Raines. (And, thankfully for all of them, he was on vacation in Siberia.)
"Have a good day," Sydney said cheerily to his companion, who was taking his leave now that he saw the list.
"You too!" the man called back, then disappeared around a bend in the hallway. Sydney, still chuckling, entered his office and was confront with the sight of Miss Parker sitting in his chair and Lyle sitting on the desk next to her.
"Hello, Sydney," Lyle practically sneered, glaring at the older man.
"Lyle," Sydney acknowledged. "Miss Parker. What brings you two to my office today?"
"You know why we're here," Miss Parker said, cold chilling her voice.
"Yes, I believe I do," Sydney said, settling himself into a chair across the desk from Miss Parker.
"Why'd you post that first list to me, Syd?" Lyle asked, anger cutting across his features. He obviously wasn't happy that he had been the first one to be chosen, though he did understand why.
"I was bored, and you were the most likely to react immediately to it."
A few moments of shocked silence from the twins, which Sydney relished. It wasn't often he could shock two of the most powerful figures in The Centre.
"You. Were. Bored," Miss Parker said, as if saying it slower would help her to understand it. Lyle, on the other hand, had no trouble comprehending this.
"See! I was right!" he exclaimed, swelling with pride.
"We're eight again?" Miss Parker bit back, glaring at Lyle for his childish behavior. Had Lyle been an eight-year-old, he would have pouted. But, since he was now an adult, he bit back the urge and just smirked cruelly instead.
"So this entire thing was because you were bored and needed something to do?" Lyle asked incredulously.
"Yes, though I didn't expect it to get quite so out of hand. I must admit, though, it will make a very intriguing paper."
"Paper?" Miss Parker asked, obviously not liking that idea.
"Yes. I think it'll be published in several different mediums. I look forward to writing it. I mean, the way something that is considered to be a phase in children still exists and can be easily brought out in adulthood is rather fascinating, don't you agree?"
"Yes, it's all very fascinating," Lyle hissed, standing up and walking to the other side of the desk to stand in front of Sydney. "But, you can't publish anything without our permission, correct? Well, I'm not giving you mine. In fact, no word of this little experiment will ever be breathed again. Got it, Syd?"
Sydney looked from Lyle to Miss Parker and back again, slowly realizing that his weeks-long experiment would end up being for naught. Oh well. He'd just have to try something else.
"I understand. I won't publish it."
"Good," Miss Parker said, standing up and walking out the door. Lyle glared at Sydney for a few seconds more, then exited behind his sister, closing the door behind him.
Sydney grinned to himself after they had left. He had the perfect idea for his next experiment, though the twins would probably hate it. Pity he had to wait a while until they stopped wondering what he was going to do next. Until then, he'd just have to dig through the bottom of the gene pool for some more research subjects that were in dire need of a little shock therapy.
-----
the end.
really.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
List Provided By: Unknown.
Part Two
by: chopsticks
p g
-----
Sydney's hunch was indeed correct. Even while listening with half an ear to the first list being recited by the escaped serial killer (who broke down in tears and sobbingly turned himself in at the end of the entire production), Miss Parker was creating yet another list that she would post, though as of yet she wasn't quite sure how.
She didn't want to cause another big commotion, but it seemed that all her ideas for posting the list would cause just that. So what would be the best, non-commotion-inspiring way to post the list?
Genius struck a few minutes later, as did a bolt of lightning in the parking lot, making a group of sweepers' car start on fire.
As Miss Parker made her way out of her office, she thought she heard voices yelling a litany of swear words, but it might have been her imagination. After all, she was hung over.
Sydney, who had decided to take a stroll around The Centre for no readily apparent reason, made his way back to his office. The very first thing he noticed was that it seemed to be a little bit louder outside his office than normal, in that there was actual sound echoing in the hallway rather than the dead silence he was so accustomed to.
The second thing he noticed was the large crowd gathered around his office door. Or, more accurately, the wall next to his office door. Sydney instantly knew what was happening, but kept his approach quiet. He made his way to the back of the crowd and craned his head, trying to see what the list said. He accidentally bumped into the person next to him, who whipped his head around in surprise to look at the man that had crept up on him.
"Oh! Sydney!" the man exclaimed, instantly recognizing the psychiatrist. He placed a hand over his heart and took a deep breath, bending over slightly. "You gave me such a fright!"
"I apologize. What's the list say up there?" Sydney asked, gesturing toward the wall.
"Oh, I haven't a clue. I haven't been able to get close enough to read it. But, now that you're here, I bet we could get closer to it!"
"Yes, I suppose we could." And with that, the duo began to move forward in the crowd, gently pushing their way to the front, apologizing the entire way. Since it was only Sydney, and not, for instance, Miss Parker or Mr. Lyle, the crowd did not run off in a fright, instead accepting the gracious apologies and moving out of the way. It really does pay to be a nice person sometimes, even at The Centre.
Sydney gently removed the list from the wall, taking care in removing the thumbtack so it wouldn't leave an obvious mark. This seemed to end the fun for the crowd, and it slowly began to dissipate, while Sydney and his newfound companion read the list in silence, punctuated by the occasional bit of laughter on both their parts.
Words Created By Sydney
(From personal experience.)
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal' side.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Sydney laughed at the last one the most, knowing he always did that. One thing the twins did not think of when posting the lists to Sydney was that he was quite hard to anger, and it could really only be done by Mr. Raines. (And, thankfully for all of them, he was on vacation in Siberia.)
"Have a good day," Sydney said cheerily to his companion, who was taking his leave now that he saw the list.
"You too!" the man called back, then disappeared around a bend in the hallway. Sydney, still chuckling, entered his office and was confront with the sight of Miss Parker sitting in his chair and Lyle sitting on the desk next to her.
"Hello, Sydney," Lyle practically sneered, glaring at the older man.
"Lyle," Sydney acknowledged. "Miss Parker. What brings you two to my office today?"
"You know why we're here," Miss Parker said, cold chilling her voice.
"Yes, I believe I do," Sydney said, settling himself into a chair across the desk from Miss Parker.
"Why'd you post that first list to me, Syd?" Lyle asked, anger cutting across his features. He obviously wasn't happy that he had been the first one to be chosen, though he did understand why.
"I was bored, and you were the most likely to react immediately to it."
A few moments of shocked silence from the twins, which Sydney relished. It wasn't often he could shock two of the most powerful figures in The Centre.
"You. Were. Bored," Miss Parker said, as if saying it slower would help her to understand it. Lyle, on the other hand, had no trouble comprehending this.
"See! I was right!" he exclaimed, swelling with pride.
"We're eight again?" Miss Parker bit back, glaring at Lyle for his childish behavior. Had Lyle been an eight-year-old, he would have pouted. But, since he was now an adult, he bit back the urge and just smirked cruelly instead.
"So this entire thing was because you were bored and needed something to do?" Lyle asked incredulously.
"Yes, though I didn't expect it to get quite so out of hand. I must admit, though, it will make a very intriguing paper."
"Paper?" Miss Parker asked, obviously not liking that idea.
"Yes. I think it'll be published in several different mediums. I look forward to writing it. I mean, the way something that is considered to be a phase in children still exists and can be easily brought out in adulthood is rather fascinating, don't you agree?"
"Yes, it's all very fascinating," Lyle hissed, standing up and walking to the other side of the desk to stand in front of Sydney. "But, you can't publish anything without our permission, correct? Well, I'm not giving you mine. In fact, no word of this little experiment will ever be breathed again. Got it, Syd?"
Sydney looked from Lyle to Miss Parker and back again, slowly realizing that his weeks-long experiment would end up being for naught. Oh well. He'd just have to try something else.
"I understand. I won't publish it."
"Good," Miss Parker said, standing up and walking out the door. Lyle glared at Sydney for a few seconds more, then exited behind his sister, closing the door behind him.
Sydney grinned to himself after they had left. He had the perfect idea for his next experiment, though the twins would probably hate it. Pity he had to wait a while until they stopped wondering what he was going to do next. Until then, he'd just have to dig through the bottom of the gene pool for some more research subjects that were in dire need of a little shock therapy.
the end.
really.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
