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List Provided By: Heidi.

Sibling Rivalry XV
by: chopsticks
p g

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"Broots!" Mr. Lyle bellowed into his intercom, knowing full well his secretary would react promptly.

"I'll get him for you," her sweet voice chimed over the intercom. Lyle grinned slightly, allowing that voice to carry his mind far away from the situation.

Five minutes later, Broots knocked on the door and, receiving no answer, entered into Mr. Lyle's temporary office. He was met with the sight of Lyle sitting with his feet propped up, dark brown coffee stains marring the pristine white of his pant legs.

"Ahem. You wanted me, Mr. Lyle, sir?"

Lyle jumped slightly, then glared in annoyance at Broots. "Didn't they ever teach you to knock?"

"Um, I-I did and. . ." Broots trailed off, scared by the evil look Lyle was giving him. "Y-yes, sir. . .they did."

Lyle narrowed his eyes but said nothing. After several minutes of intense scrutiny of Broots' squirming, Lyle finally spoke.

"I need you to do something for me." If it was possible, Broots became several shades paler than before. Fortunately for him, he was already as pale as he could get, so Lyle never noticed any more whiteness in his features.

"Okay. . ." Broots tugged at his collar nervously, hoping it didn't have anything to do with Mr. Lyle's and Miss Parker's ongoing feud.

"I need you to keep my darling sister away from her office for the afternoon." Damn, it was just his luck.

"How?"

"I don't know. Say you have a lead on Jarod in Montana or something." With that, Lyle turned back to his temporary computer station, already working on the list he would use against his sister.

"But. . .how do I do that?" Broots inquired meekly. When he received no response, he tried again. "Mr. Lyle?"

"You're still here?" Lyle turned in his seat and eyed him with something resembling amazement.

"No. I'm going, I'm going." Broots muttered as he slipped out the door. Mr. Lyle never noticed him leaving, instead typing intently on his computer.

-----


Several hours later, Mr. Lyle clicked the "send" button in his e-mail program and allowed a small, evil smile to grace his handsome features. The e-mail contained a list and a request that needed to be filled by two o'clock.

Mr. Lyle grinned cruelly as he printed off the list he had just compiled. It was absolutely perfect, in his mind, since he also had actual evidence for the list. He smiled brilliantly and called his secretary, who was still stationed outside his old office.

"Linda?"

"Yes, Mr. Lyle?" her voice rang out through the intercom.

"Will you bring those two carpenters over here?"

"Yes, Mr. Lyle." With that, the intercom clicked off and Lyle was left waiting for the two carpenters that were currently working on repairing his stripped office. It was not a very long wait, for a mere three minutes later, Bob and Bubba came charging into his makeshift office, not even bothering to knock. Mr. Lyle arched his eyebrow at this, but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

"What do you want?" they growled in unison. If it had been anyone other than Mr. Lyle, the sight of two burly carpenters speaking in unison would have been unnerving, like something straight out of a Stephen King novel. But, as it was, Mr. Lyle was not bothered by two grown men speaking in unison. Spending time in a Tibetan monastery would do that to a person.

"I need you two to do something for me," Lyle began. He swiftly explained his plan to the two standing before him and gave them his timetable. Bob and Bubba grinned evilly, happy to become a part of the little feud between the twins.

-----


"Broots," Miss Parker said wearily, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I don't know what you think you found, but it's been three hours now. And the lead you said you had leads to five different places in Montana. . .all in the same hour. Tell me, exactly, how Jarod managed to be in five different places at the same time when they're all nearly one hundred miles apart!"

"I. . .don't know, Miss Parker," Broots said nervously, looking to Sydney for help. Sydney simply arched an eyebrow at him, as if he were studying the younger man. Broots, more unnerved than before, sighed in resignation. "I guess he duped us again, Miss Parker."

"So it would seem," she said through gritted teeth. "I'll be in my office, catching up on the work I could have had finished by now." She spun on her four-inch heel and marched off, her entire body radiating anger. Broots and Sydney exchanged a glance before Sydney headed off after his errant boss.

"Parker!" he called after her, picking up his pace a bit to catch up with her. "Parker!" By now he was at a half-jog. "Parker!" he said loudly, catching her attention as she waited for an elevator. She spun around and blinked in slight surprise as Sydney came to a stop in front of her, breathing heavily.

"Did you need something?" she inquired, eyeing him suspiciously.

"No," he panted, sucking in huge gulps of hair. "I just. . .wanted. . .to. . .talk. . .to. . .you." He leaned over and placed his hands on his knees, sucking in lungfuls of air.

"You know, hitting the gym on occasion might not be such a bad idea for you, Syd," Miss Parker noted, grinning slightly.

"So my. . .doctor. . .tells me." He let out a giant breath of air and stood up, his breathing having slowed a bit. The elevator dinged and they boarded it.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I think you need a vacation, Parker," Sydney said, his breathing returning to normal.

"You always say that," she noted, observing her reflection in the elevator doors.

"And I'm always right."

"That's a bit arrogant, even for a shrink," she said, turning toward him. Sydney simply shrugged.

"I know you mean well, but I don't need to be. . .shrunk. . .today."

"Okay, Parker." Miss Parker glanced sideways at him, surprised by his agreeable attitude.

"Okay, then." The elevator dinged once again and the doors swooshed open, revealing the rotunda and her office door on the other side. Sydney's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Miss Parker let out a strangled gasp. Her entire door was covered in bumper stickers, all of varying colors and shades.

She marched out of the elevator and walked numbly up to her door, shoving the people that had congregated out of the way. They, of course, after noticing Miss Parker had arrived, ran off in several directions, many getting hurt in the process. Miss Parker inadvertently whacked one of the injured with her pointy shoe, causing the unfortunate underling to go rolling a small distance and bump into the wall.

When she got closer, Miss Parker noticed there was a heading above her door. She began to read it and the bumper stickers, feeling her face growing redder with each successive sticker.

Actual Self-Descriptive Bumper Stickers Miss Parker Has

Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from my parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with "The Simpsons."
Born free...Taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my rabbit.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
All men are idiots, and I fucked their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
No radio - Already stolen.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Murder pays off NOW.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Some people are only alive because my clip is empty.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then we find out the hot boss is our twin.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I souport publik edekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Keep honking...I'm reloading.
Caution: I drive like you do.

"Lyle," she hissed angrily, balling her hands up into fists.

"Parker. . ." Sydney said warningly, coming to stand next to her.

"He will pay, she hissed, glaring at her door. She walked up and attempted to open it, but found that all the bumper stickers made an effective sealant. What she needed right now was a drink, which happened to be contained in her office, which was currently inaccessible because of the bumper stickers sealing it shut.

"Find someone to clean this up," she ordered Sydney, heading back the way she came. She would need Broots' help to get her brother back for this.

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the end.

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