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List Provided By: Heidi.

Sibling Rivalry XIV
by: chopsticks
p g - 1 3

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Miss Parker grinned triumphantly as she slammed the phone down. This had been one hell of a morning for her, but by ten she had fixed every little problem. She had called the city council and complained rather loudly and irately about the billboards. The entire list was being taken down as she sat there, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

To put an even better spin on things, she had found the perfect list for Mr. Lyle. Her grin became a full-blown smile as she thought about how she was going to post this one.

"Broots!" she bellowed loudly, the sound echoing throughout the empty rotunda beyond her office. A secretary immediately headed off to the elevators, where several people were waiting patiently in front of the doors.

"Miss Parker wants to see Mr. Broots," she said curtly to all whom stood there. She continued on her way, never bothering to look back at the people.

As one, the people waiting for the elevator blinked. At that same moment, the elevator itself dinged loudly to announce its presence. Their gazes shifted to the elevator and they got on. The elevator stopped and the techies got off, heading to their respective stations. On their way, they passed Jessica, another computer programmer.

"Miss Parker wants to see Mr. Broots," they relayed. Jessica nodded and turned herself so she was facing all of the cubicles.

"Broots!" she bellowed loudly, her voice sound remarkably like Miss Parker’s. Jessica was the only one that could pull off a credible imitation of Miss Parker, something the other techies, and she herself, had abused to no end.

Broots’ bald head instantly popped up from behind a cubicle wall, and he looked around for the source of the shouting. As soon as his eyes landed on Jessica, he understood and quickly scurried away.

Five minutes later, he was standing in Miss Parker’s office.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked meekly, ducking his head when she looked up at him.

"Yes." She paused, causing him to look up. She instantly made eye contact with him, and he knew he was not going to like whatever it was she wanted him to do. But then again, when did he ever like what she wanted him to do?

"Broots," Miss Parker began sweetly, "would you please post this up on the announcement system for me?" He blinked at her, and took the proffered piece of paper. "Now," she said coldly, her blue eyes staring daggers into him.

"Y-yes, Miss Parker." With that, Broots scurried out of the room and headed back to his hole.

Once there, sitting safely behind his computer terminal, he began to add the list to the announcements, giggling slightly as he did so. He had even come up with is own modifications for it, which only made his giggling that much more insistent.

The person in the cubicle next to him peeked over the edge and instantly understood what Broots was doing. He sat back down quickly, typing out a fast e-mail to everyone but Miss Parker, Mr. Lyle, and anyone that could potentially kill any of them with one word. In other words, management never saw said e-mail.

Instantly, people began checking the daily announcements on their computers. A sort of mass hysteria began to sweep through The Centre, as people whispered the news to others in the hallway. The hallways were a mess of files, broken coffee cups, and other various debris, and it was this sight that Mr. Lyle came upon.

He blinked, very slowly and deliberately, when he saw people instantly scatter when coming anywhere near another. The spilt coffee was beginning to form a small layer in the hallways; in some places it was even a quarter of an inch deep.

A random person passed by him, and leaned in close, whispering, "There’s a new list on the announcements!" The random person then continued on, obviously oblivious that she had given the news to the very person they were trying to avoid giving it to: Mr. Lyle.

Lyle’s eyes narrowed dangerous, and he stomped towards his temporary office. Stomping down the halls proved to be a bad idea, because coffee tended to splash up when met with extreme force. So, as a result, Mr. Lyle stormed into his office, swearing violently about coffee and ruined pants. (It was extremely unfortunate that he had decided to wear a white suit that day.)

Mr. Lyle sat down heavily at his desk, still swearing, and booted up his computer. He had it set so the daily announcements automatically appeared when his computer was turned on. This was the sight he was met with:

Things Mr. Lyle Does At Wal-Mart
(As seen on surveillance cameras from Wal-Mart.)

1. Gets boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Sets all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Makes a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walks up to an employee and tells him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in House Wares," to see what happens.
5. Puts some M&M's on layaway.
6. Moves CAUTION: WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Sets up a tent in the camping department, tells others he'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Looks right into the security camera and uses it as a mirror while he pick his nose.
10. Darts around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department, he asks the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department, he practices his Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hides in the clothing rack and when people browse through whispers "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Goes to the fitting rooms and yells real loud, "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"

Mr. Lyle was furious. Not only was the list extremely degrading, but also there were pictures. Actual surveillance photos of him doing all these things!

His jaw twitched slightly and he had to remind himself that hurling something through the window was not the solution. He had proven that in his own office.

He closed his eyes and quietly focused his thoughts, hell bent on one thing: revenge. Miss Parker was going to get it, and she was going to get it good.

An evil smile crossed Lyle’s features as he thought of what he was going to do to Miss Parker.

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the end.

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