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Title: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

A/N: For the addictions challenge. I've taken a few liberties in my definition of 'addiction', just go with it.

Erm, (ii.) and (iv.) are not for the squeamish.

i. Broots (hold me)

If anyone found out, he would die of embarrassment. He glances around furtively to check that no one is looking at him.

So far, so good.

He opens the CD cover, removes the disc, and quickly inserts it into the Discman. He shoves the cover back into his bag and hides the bag under the desk.

He looks around again.

He puts the earphones on and presses 'play'. Almost immediately, he begins to relax. He turns the computer on, ready to start the day. Tapping his foot on the floor, he unconsciously sings along: "Hit me baby, one more time . . ."

ii. Lyle (thrill me)

She stares up at him, her dark eyes defiant. She trembles under his touch, and he sees the first hint of fear flicker across her face.

He smiles.

This one will be different, he thinks. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips in anticipation.

She whimpers. There is only one ending, and both of them know what it is.

He kisses away her tears, even as he draws the blade of his knife over her throat.

His heartbeat quickens; hers slows.

He holds her gaze, watching for the moment of death, and thinks, It doesn't get better than this.

iii. Catherine (kiss me)

She knows this is wrong and dangerous and there are a thousand reasons not to be here. She's a married woman, she has a child, a whole other life.

Adultery is a mortal sin.

She thinks of the choices she's made so far, the life she's lived, and decides she's going to hell anyway.

His lips are on her, and she forgets. There is nothing outside of here and now: no Centre, no daughter, no husband.

No pain.

Ben makes her happy. That's all she really wants.

He gasps her name. She closes her eyes, losing herself to his touch.

iv. Parker (kill me)

Of all her vices, this is the most destructive. She could be the poster-child for a dysfunctional life, she thinks with a bitter smile.

It's of little comfort that the only one she's hurting is herself.

This is a secret that not even Jarod knows. The thought brings a real smile to her face.

(Tommy once asked about the scars. She lied; said it was a car accident. He didn't ask again.)

She presses the blade into her flesh and watches dispassionately as the blood runs scarlet on her skin.


All she wants is to be able to feel.

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