Maybe Today by icd
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Disclaimer: They are not mine and I will putt hem back. Somewhere in between I will write this story and make no money with it, so don’t sue.
Author’s Note: People. It’s a songfic. The fic is named after the song: Maybe Today from Anastacia.
I have to warn you: It is a sad story. It contains a major character death. I didn’t describe what happened or how it did but still… if you don’t want to read it, you should stop here and look for another story.
If there are many spelling mistakes or tense problems, bear with me; I’m not exactly coherent and concentrated on those things.
I wrote this just today after I got a call, telling me that someone I knew had died in a car accident yesterday night.
I can’t say that we were good friends, hell I can’t even say that I knew him very well and yet… the feeling stays. I mean, he was just nineteen and I have known him for fourteen or fifteen years. We were in Kindergarten and school together. I probably should have known him better after such a long time.
Still, even though I didn’t really know him very well, his death is a shock and I guess writing this fic is a way from me to cope with this even though it doesn’t directly cope with his loss.
~~~~~~~
Maybe Today
She knelt on the wet ground, her eyes cast downward, looking at her hands and at the rose they held.
Why did they always have to interfere?
Their life had never been easy; by God it hadn’t.
She breathed shakily.
Poison like the air we breath in
This complicated world we weave
Spins around, pulls us down
Rain was pouring down but she didn’t care.
She had thought that she had long since stopped caring at all but she had been wrong and she knew it. Deep down she had always known.
Just as he had always known.
But ‘they’ had always prevented them from speaking about it, from even allowing themselves to think about it.
This life we lead is overrated
Mixed up, fucked up
Calculated
That’s the way
So they say
‘They’ had always been there to make their life difficult.
’They’ had always made the decisions for them.
‘They’ had messed with their lives and never let them leave to find what they had always longed for.
And all we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way
Maybe today
And all the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way to be free?
Today
The only thing that ‘they’ had never managed had been to keep them from dreaming, or at least to keep Jarod from dreaming.
He had always been so full of life, helping others, being there for them, living his life despite everything they had objected upon him.
And they had tried to make it difficult.
Underneath the way we feel
We’ve lost ourselves between what’s real
No lost and found
We’re broken down
He had found a way to break free from the Centre and he hadn’t been able to at the same time.
The memories had still hunted his dreams.
Just as she had hunted him.
She had never wanted to hunt him down like an animal and at the same time she hadn’t been able to do anything else.
‘They’ had yet again tried to prevent them from coming closer towards each other. ‘They’ had successfully tried to keep them apart.
In that maze of fear, hate and survival, they had lost each other.
Lost each other between the memories of what was real and what was constructed by the Centre to keep them apart; what was a lie.
They had never really found each other again and yet they had always remained close.
Take a piece of someone’s dreams
They’re never simple as they seem
They’re thrown away like yesterday
His had been simple. Pure and simple.
It had been about freedom, friendship and love to him.
Those were his dreams;
To find his family and to have them around to be loved.
And again ‘they’ had seen to prevent it; stomped on his dreams to break him.
All we ever need
Freedom lies beneath reality
Just find a way
Oh maybe it’s today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way where we can be free?
Find a way today
It seemed as if he could only reach for true freedom once he had shed reality.
We all will be alone
If this house is not a home
It won’t be long before the air is gone
The love that lonely people crave
Follows them into their grave
We should never leave them lonely
Yes, she thought. It definitely followed him into his grave.
He had been lonely throughout nearly all his life, always being forced to live alone and on the run.
She had never been able to be there for him.
And at the same time she had.
Her thoughts had always been with him.
Not because it had been her job but because of him… because of what he meant to her.
She should have never left him lonely and without the knowledge of what she felt for him.
All we ever need
Freedom lies beneath
Find a way (Why don’t you find a way? Just find a way)
All the fairytales and fantasies
That you need is within
Find a way (Why don’t you find it today?)
He had had the power to survive nearly everything they had thrown at him.
That power had come from within.
All we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way; find a way, today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Be free
Find a way today
Just find it, just find it today
Today
Maybe he had found it now.
‘Yes, he had found it’, she decided; she needed to believe it.
If there was one person that deserved freedom, it had been him. Had always been.
And now, he had found it. He would never been hunted again by those who made his life a living hell.
His fairytale about freedom had come true; very different from what she - as well as he himself – had expected but…
He was free now.
Parker got up from her kneeling position and she drew one hand up to her mouth while the other one laid the rose on the ground.
Pressing a soft kiss in her palm, she transferred it to the tombstone.
All we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way
Just maybe, maybe today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way where we can be free?
Today
“Be free, Jarod”, she whispered and then turned around and walked out of the cemetery.
~~~~~~~
For Benny
Be free!
Author’s Note: People. It’s a songfic. The fic is named after the song: Maybe Today from Anastacia.
I have to warn you: It is a sad story. It contains a major character death. I didn’t describe what happened or how it did but still… if you don’t want to read it, you should stop here and look for another story.
If there are many spelling mistakes or tense problems, bear with me; I’m not exactly coherent and concentrated on those things.
I wrote this just today after I got a call, telling me that someone I knew had died in a car accident yesterday night.
I can’t say that we were good friends, hell I can’t even say that I knew him very well and yet… the feeling stays. I mean, he was just nineteen and I have known him for fourteen or fifteen years. We were in Kindergarten and school together. I probably should have known him better after such a long time.
Still, even though I didn’t really know him very well, his death is a shock and I guess writing this fic is a way from me to cope with this even though it doesn’t directly cope with his loss.
~~~~~~~
She knelt on the wet ground, her eyes cast downward, looking at her hands and at the rose they held.
Why did they always have to interfere?
Their life had never been easy; by God it hadn’t.
She breathed shakily.
Poison like the air we breath in
This complicated world we weave
Spins around, pulls us down
Rain was pouring down but she didn’t care.
She had thought that she had long since stopped caring at all but she had been wrong and she knew it. Deep down she had always known.
Just as he had always known.
But ‘they’ had always prevented them from speaking about it, from even allowing themselves to think about it.
This life we lead is overrated
Mixed up, fucked up
Calculated
That’s the way
So they say
‘They’ had always been there to make their life difficult.
’They’ had always made the decisions for them.
‘They’ had messed with their lives and never let them leave to find what they had always longed for.
And all we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way
Maybe today
And all the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way to be free?
Today
The only thing that ‘they’ had never managed had been to keep them from dreaming, or at least to keep Jarod from dreaming.
He had always been so full of life, helping others, being there for them, living his life despite everything they had objected upon him.
And they had tried to make it difficult.
Underneath the way we feel
We’ve lost ourselves between what’s real
No lost and found
We’re broken down
He had found a way to break free from the Centre and he hadn’t been able to at the same time.
The memories had still hunted his dreams.
Just as she had hunted him.
She had never wanted to hunt him down like an animal and at the same time she hadn’t been able to do anything else.
‘They’ had yet again tried to prevent them from coming closer towards each other. ‘They’ had successfully tried to keep them apart.
In that maze of fear, hate and survival, they had lost each other.
Lost each other between the memories of what was real and what was constructed by the Centre to keep them apart; what was a lie.
They had never really found each other again and yet they had always remained close.
Take a piece of someone’s dreams
They’re never simple as they seem
They’re thrown away like yesterday
His had been simple. Pure and simple.
It had been about freedom, friendship and love to him.
Those were his dreams;
To find his family and to have them around to be loved.
And again ‘they’ had seen to prevent it; stomped on his dreams to break him.
All we ever need
Freedom lies beneath reality
Just find a way
Oh maybe it’s today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way where we can be free?
Find a way today
It seemed as if he could only reach for true freedom once he had shed reality.
We all will be alone
If this house is not a home
It won’t be long before the air is gone
The love that lonely people crave
Follows them into their grave
We should never leave them lonely
Yes, she thought. It definitely followed him into his grave.
He had been lonely throughout nearly all his life, always being forced to live alone and on the run.
She had never been able to be there for him.
And at the same time she had.
Her thoughts had always been with him.
Not because it had been her job but because of him… because of what he meant to her.
She should have never left him lonely and without the knowledge of what she felt for him.
All we ever need
Freedom lies beneath
Find a way (Why don’t you find a way? Just find a way)
All the fairytales and fantasies
That you need is within
Find a way (Why don’t you find it today?)
He had had the power to survive nearly everything they had thrown at him.
That power had come from within.
All we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way; find a way, today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Be free
Find a way today
Just find it, just find it today
Today
Maybe he had found it now.
‘Yes, he had found it’, she decided; she needed to believe it.
If there was one person that deserved freedom, it had been him. Had always been.
And now, he had found it. He would never been hunted again by those who made his life a living hell.
His fairytale about freedom had come true; very different from what she - as well as he himself – had expected but…
He was free now.
Parker got up from her kneeling position and she drew one hand up to her mouth while the other one laid the rose on the ground.
Pressing a soft kiss in her palm, she transferred it to the tombstone.
All we ever need is a chance to be
Freedom lies beneath reality
Find a way
Just maybe, maybe today
All the fairytales and fantasies
Can we find a way where we can be free?
Today
“Be free, Jarod”, she whispered and then turned around and walked out of the cemetery.
Be free!
