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A Day in the Life of Brootise


Broots' alarm sounded, pulling him from one of his better dreams. He grumbled and tossed the ringing device across the room. Closing his eyes, he tried to get back to Miss Parker in that cute little red number she wore especially for her Puff Daddy. It was useless the image was gone. He yawn-ed, stretched, and pulled himself to a sitting position. Thinking back to the dream, He smiled a goofy smile and then realized he needed a shower, a cold shower.

Standing in front of his full-length mirror in his blue cotton boxers, He began his morning pep talk. "You are the man." He repeated to himself a few times as he checked out his form. Grabbing his comb off the dresser, he ran it through the small amount of hair he still had. He smiled thinking back to the dream again and grabbed his bottle of cologne off the dresser. A few good squirts and he was off to find the perfect attire for the day. He decided on a black pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Looking in the mirror he decided the Jarod look didn't suit him and grabbed a short sleeve green button up shirt to throw over the tee.

Making his way down to breakfast, he found Debbie sitting at the table. "Good morning sweetheart." he said kissing her atop her head. "What would you like for breakfast this morning?"

"Daddy...I.... I need..." Debbie attempted to begin but stopped obviously uncomfortable.

"What is it honey? What do you need?" Broots asked concerned as he came to kneel beside her chair. "You know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, don’t you?"

Debbie nodded and began again. "Daddy I need you to go to the store for me."

"Sure sweet-y what do you need?" Broots said relieved.

"Well I think...I think I need to talk to Miss Parker." Debbie said finally

"Miss Parker? Well why do you need to talk to her? I mean it is fine, but why does it have to be Miss Parker?" Broots asked a little upset that his little girl had a problem she didn't want to discuss with him.

"It just does. Can I go to work with you today?" Debbie questioned.

"Well I was going to drop you off at summer camp but if you really want to I guess it will be all right. Let me call and clear it with Miss Parker first. You go head and get dressed." He called heading to the phone.

A half-hour later Broots and Debbie were on their way to the Center. He opened the main doors to the building and scooted her inside. Catching a glimpse of Raines, he rushed her along down the hall. When they were finally outside Miss Parker's office, he stopped and checked his reflection in the glass doors. Debbie let out a small giggle as she watched him and he smiled down at her. He grabbed the knob and pulled the door open.

"Daddy would you mind if I talked to Miss Parker by myself?" Debbie asked before they stepped inside.

"No honey not at all. You go on in and I'll just go see what Sydney is up to." Broots said a bit disappointed.

"Thanks." Debbie stepped into the room before then and closed the door leaving him outside.

Broots stood by the door for a little bit contemplating weather or not to go in and see what his little girl felt she could only talk with Miss Parker about. "Boys," He thought to himself his little girl must like a boy. He smiled and headed off to find Sydney.

On his way down the hall, he saw Mr. Lyle and Mr. Raines enthralled in a deep conversation. Just the site of the two together sent chills down his spine, and he darted inside Sydney's lab to remain unseen as they passed.

"Good morning Broots." Sydney called cheerfully from behind his desk.

" Good morning Syd." Broots murmured peeking out of the door and into the hall again.

"Miss Parker just called and she wants you to come back down to her office." Sydney said with a chuckle.

"Miss Parker wants to see me?" Broots spun around nervously. "Did she say what she wanted?" Whenever Miss Parker wanted to see him alone it usually meant she wanted him to go sneaking around in dangerous creepy places for information he wasn't suppose to have.

"No I am afraid she didn't say."

"Oh well, I guess I had better get down there." Broots said swallowing hard and turning back to the door.

"Calm down Broots I am sure it's nothing." Sydney tried to soothe his apparent unease.

"Thanks Syd. I will talk to you later." Broots said heading out the door.

He stood outside Miss Parker's office contemplating what is was she wanted him for. Perhaps it would be another trip down to the bodily storage facility, or even worse a romp through Mr. Lyle's office. He finally pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Morning Miss Parker. Syd said you wanted to see me?" He said nervously looking around the room for Debbie.

"Sit down Broots we need to have a chat." Miss Parker said in her usual condescending way.

He took the seat across from her desk and looked around again. Finding no sign of Debbie, he glanced up at Miss Parker worry in his eyes. "Where is Debbie?"

"She is fine just needed to use the bathroom. Sam showered her the way and then he is going to take her down to Syd's so we can chat." Miss Parker said getting up and closing her office door.

"What do you want to chat about?" Broots said his curiosity peeked.

"Broots, what do you know about woman?" Miss Parker asked perching herself on the edge of her desk.

"Well hum hum..I'm not sure what you mean Miss Parker?" Broots said stunned by the question. His mind began to race through all the possible reasons for asking such a question. He fidgeted in his seat uncomfortablely wondering if she knew he had been dreaming of her all these years

"It's not a difficult question Broots. WHAT. DO. YOU. KNOW. ABOUT. WOMEN?" she enunciated each word.

"Well I am not really sure. I mean I am but well.." Boots began to ramble on.

"Do you know what makes a little girl a woman?" Miss Parker asked cryptically.

'Boy you are starting to sound more and more like Jarod.' Broots thought to himself as he mull-ed the question over in his mind. "Well yeah I mean I guess I do."

"Well Broots your little girl is a woman." she stated as she looked out the window.

"Debbie is a woman?" Broots asked still utterly confused.

"Could you be any slower?" she hissed annoyed, "Debbie started her period Broots."

"uh oh..OH." Broots said embarrassed to be having a conversation of this nature with Miss Parker. "But she is just a kid."

"Not anymore she isn't. She is going to need a few things from the store. I would go but I have a meeting with Lyle and the wheeze bag in ten minutes. So your going to have to get her what she needs yourself."

"Well thanks for letting her talk to you Miss Parker. I guess she needed a woman's opinion on the matter."

"She was just a little embarrassed that is all. I explained it was all natural and that she would be fine. I told her what to do with the items I have listed for you." Miss Parker said handing him a slip of paper. "you just need to be sure to get everything there, got it?"

Broots looked over the list and swallowed hard. It wasn't everyday he was sitting with Miss Parker talking about these matters. He could feel his face get warm with redness as he read the list in his hand: tampons, maxi pads, pamperen and a pint of chocolate ice cream. The last item confusing him, he looked up and asked why it was on the list.

"Just pick some up, trust me." Miss Parker said ushering him out the door.

Broots stood in the isle of the supermarket marked Feminine Products. He was starring at all the products on the self. This was a whole new world to him. So many varieties, he wasn't sure what kind to get. He looked over the list again. He took out his cell phone and debated with himself as to weather or not he should call Miss Parker and ask. Deciding that was not the best plan of action, he grabbed one of every kind on the self and tossed them into the basket.

As he made his way to the check out he remembered the chocolate ice cream and made a u-turn in the middle of the isle. He couldn't help but to notice the whole world was starring at him and his large basket of supplies. He blushed a bit more and grabbed two pints of ice cream to be safe. He then grabbed a few other items as well just to look a bit less conspicuous and headed to the checkout again.

Walking through the hall with his large brown bag of assorted goodies, Broots spotted Miss Parker and Lyle leaving Mr. Raine's office. He weaved through the crowd in hopes of avoiding being seen. He was unsuccessful. Just before her reached the safely of Miss Parker's office, Mr. Lyle stopped him in the hall.

"Doing a bit of shopping on company time Mr. Broots?" Lyle asked grabbing the bag from his hand.

"Well I just needed to get a few ..." Broots began to explain nervously as Lyle pulled out a few of the bagged items.

"Miss Parker using you as a personal gofer these days or did you finally get the big change?" Lyle teased pulling box after box of tampons out for all to see.

"No there um for Debbie." Broots said attempting to grab the bag back.

"Of course they are." Lyle mocked and threw the bag back at him. "Next time, tend to you shopping needs after work."

"Yes, Mr. Lyle." Broots said darting into Miss Parker's office.

"Get everything?" Miss Parker asked looking up from her card game with Debbie.

"uh I think so." Broots said handing her the bag.

Miss Parker looked inside and chuckled. "Buy the whole damn store?"

"Well I wasn't sure about size and shape. So I just grabbed a variety. You feeling okay honey?" he asked Debbie.

"It's her period Broots not the flu." Parker sneered and Debbie giggled. "Men can't ever just buy what's on the list, can you.?" She continued to pull out the rest of the items.

"I thought I would also pick up the nail polish and remover she asked for the other day while I was there." Broots said defensively.

"And those items would be where?" Parker said looking into the empty bag. "All I see are about ten kinds of tampons, five kinds of maxies, ten kinds of pain killers, two pints of ice cream, a plunger, and some duct tape."

"In the bag, I saw the clerk put it in myself." Broots said walking over to the bag. Not finding the items, he remembered his little run in with Lyle and headed out into the hallway to see if they had fall out in the scuffle.

The hall was empty, no nail polish to be found. He made his way farther down in his search. Hearing strange sounds of laughter coming from Mr. Lyle's office' he stopped and peeked in through the crack of the door. He was stunned to see Lyle huddled over engrossed in something, the missing bottle of polish and Nail polish remover sitting on his desk. Broots scampered away quickly deeply disturbed by the vision that was now forming in his head..Lyle in that little red number Miss Parker looked so good in.

"I think I need a drink." He gasped as he made his way back to Miss Parker and Debbie. All he could think was a trip to the bodily fluid storage was looking like a cake walk these days.


The end.











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