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Time And Again
Author: Jennifer DeNaughel
Rating: PG, Adult situations
Category: Major drama, Romance, Major angst (J/MP)
Archived on: March 10, 2002
Timeline: Late-season one
Spoilers: "Not Even A Mouse"
Summary: Miss Parker captures Jarod . . .well, sort of.
Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exhausted and emotionally drained, Jarod dropped his bag on the bed and went into the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, he splashed cold water over his face. The shock of it barely fazed his senses. The sting of the shower on his skin brought him slowly towards some semblance of alertness.
His mind began to wander back to the events of the past few days. Something he had dreaded. The overwhelming sense of guilt was almost more than his senses could take. Stumbling out of the shower, he slipped into a pair of sweatpants and wrapped a towel around his neck.
The moment he opened the bathroom door he knew he was no longer alone. As he approached the mirror above the antique dresser, he began to dry his hair. Without a flicker of emotion he chuckled softly shaking his head, “Where’s the rest of your entourage? Surely you didn’t come here to apprehend the dangerous fugitive all by yourself.”
Miss Parker stepped out of the shadows with gun in hand, “I have all the backup I need right here. You, Jarod, are no more a danger to me than a certain fuzzy, white bunny I know.”
“I wondered if you kept it,” he smiled warmly.
Suddenly uncomfortable, Miss Parker moved toward the door and locked it. Turning the dead bolt and slipping the chain into place. “Don’t think for a minute that reminding me of your gift or flashing me that sickeningly charming smile of yours is going to make me let you go.”
Jarod grinned as he fell back on the bed. “Not for a minute, Parker. I wouldn’t even think that for a minute.”
Miss Parker turned and caught her breath at the sight of him lying shirtless on the bed with his eyes closed. The muscles of his broad chest and powerful shoulders suddenly made her long to go to him...to be held in those arms… Shaking her head, she struggled to regain some composure before approaching him. “Jarod,” she sat down on the edge of the bed willing herself not to look at him.
“Hmm,” was his only response.
Fighting the growing urge to turn and face him, Miss Parker put the safety on her gun and slipped it back into the holster under her black leather jacket. “For whatever it’s worth, I want you to know that if I had any other choice…”
“It’s okay, Parker,” Jarod whispered. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”
The pain and grief in the pretender’s voice shattered her resistance as Miss Parker turned to him. In his warm brown eyes, she saw the one thing she never in a million years expected to see…total surrender. The fight had all but gone out of him. The prey was just handing himself over to the huntress. “Jarod, what game are you playing? Do you really expect me to believe that you are just giving up? What happened to you?”
Jarod closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears, but he lost the battle. “Miss Parker, I never meant to hurt anyone. I believed in justice…fought for justice. I lost control…my anger took over and I killed him.”
His words echoed in Miss Parker’s mind. Jarod…killed someone? It was not possible. Yet the tears streaming down his face told her that it was. Her own eyes glittered with tears as she silently wished that Sydney were there. What would he say to comfort Jarod? Then she suddenly realized that the comfort he needed could only come from her. She understood what he was feeling; the guilt, the confusion, the utter loss of self. Yes, she understood…all too well.
Slowly she reached her hand out and touched his face. “Jarod,” Miss Parker whispered. “I’m here…please, talk to me.”
Jarod opened his eyes and stared at her in surprise, “Parker?”
Smiling slightly, Miss Parker nodded, “I know it was another lifetime, but you and I were best friends. You were always there for me whenever I needed you. Let me help you. Tell me what happened.”
Jarod focused his eyes on the dirty, water-stained ceiling of the motel room as he struggled to find the words. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded hollow. “My last pretend was as a bouncer for a bar. I was trying to catch a serial rapist. He had been stalking women from the club…following them to where they lived, then breaking into their homes. He tortured and raped them until they were on the verge of death, then he would dial 911 from the woman’s own telephone and gloat about his latest ‘triumph’. By the time the police and paramedics reached the victim’s house, he was long gone. There were no fingerprints, no DNA samples…nothing. Not even a trace of evidence to lead the police to him.”
Taking Jarod’s hand in hers, Miss Parker squeezed it gently and waited for him to continue.
Feeling her fingers intertwining with his, Jarod’s gaze locked on their hands. Drawing from her strength, he took a deep breath. “It was after closing time last Friday night, I’d gone outside to wait for Cassie to lock up the bar. I had made it my job to always walk the female employees to their cars after dark. She came out and was laughing and teasing me about being over protective. I didn’t see him until it was too late. I remember feeling a sudden burning sensation in the back of my right thigh, then everything went black.
“I came to a few minutes later to the sound of Cassie’s screams. I lost it then, I saw him dragging her into his car and I lost control. I pulled him off of her and threw him down on the ground. It was then that I noticed the six-inch knife, buried to the hilt, in my thigh.” Jarod cringed as he remembered the blinding pain, “I yanked it out just as he came at me again.” With a ragged breath, Jarod looked up into Miss Parker’s blue eyes, “I was filled with an anger like I have never felt before. I didn’t even hesitate. I killed him, with his own knife. By the time the police arrived, I had passed out from loss of blood. Cassie told them what had happened…they didn’t even question my actions. Cassie called me her hero. I am no hero. I killed a man in cold blood.”
Miss Parker shook her head slowly, “No, Jarod. You did what any other mere mortal would do if put in that same situation. You defended yourself and Cassie.”
“I lost control.”
“Jarod, Cassie would have become just another statistic if you had not been there. That monster only got what he had coming to him. You can’t beat yourself up over this.”
“I am no better than him.”
“You’re wrong, Jarod. You are better. You are Cassie’s hero. You are everybody’s hero. These past four years…you have helped a lot of people who had no one else to turn to. Where would they be now if you had not come along? Where would I be…you helped me, though God knows I didn’t deserve it.”
Jarod was amazed by Miss Parker’s admission. Her eyes flashed like blue fire as she spoke. Suddenly, he felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. “Miss Parker, you deserve more…much more.”
Confused by the tenderness of his words, she met his gaze and observed that the old Jarod was beginning to resurface. Miss Parker immediately slipped back into her ‘Ice Queen’ façade, but not before Jarod had witnessed her moment of weakness. She knew that he would take advantage of it the first chance he got. She never should have let her guard down.
“Jarod, I will be taking you back in the morning. This doesn’t change anything between us.”
“I know. Nothing can change the way things are between us can it.”
Miss Parker caught the look of longing in his eyes just before he turned his back to her. As tears threatened to fall again, she shook her head silently. “I wish…” she whispered.
“Miss Parker.”
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“Jarod.”
“Hmm?”
“They don’t know I am here.”
Jarod rolled over and looked up at her, “What are you saying?”
Miss Parker laughed softly, “I ran away, Jarod.”
“Parker?” Jarod sat up and studied her for a moment.
“I was determined to find you on my own and bring you back to the Centre. To tell you the truth, at first I was positive that I was doing it for my father’s benefit. Then I was here, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom, when I realized that I found you this time because I’d wanted to. I never truly wanted to find you before now. The ironic thing is, I wanted to find you because I needed face my feelings for you, once and for all.”
Jarod remained silent for fear that she would retreat back into her protective fortress. He knew that if she did so, there would never be a recurrence.
“Jarod, when we were together at the Centre. Those were the happiest days of my life. After my mother was killed, you were there for me. I never told you what that meant to me. I never told you then that I loved you. Jarod, I never stopped loving you.”
Unable to believe he was hearing those words from her, Jarod found himself speechless. She misunderstood his silence and tried to pull away. He stopped her with a hand on her arm and pulled her into his embrace. “Parker…I never knew. I never dreamed that you felt anything for me after all these years.”
“I don’t want your pity, Jarod,” she pulled away and stood.
Jarod smiled, “I wasn’t offering you my pity. I was offering you my heart. But of course, it has always belonged to you.”
Miss Parker’s eyes filled with tears as she fell into his arms. When he kissed her, every year since that first kiss when they were ten, seemed to melt away into the abyss.
Jarod awoke a few hours later and he was alone. Only her 9mm laying on the nightstand next to the bed reassured him that he had not been dreaming. But where had she gone? His mind wandered back. He smiled as he remembered the feeling of finally being able to hold her. The smell of her perfume still hung in the air and on the pillows next to him.
Dragging himself from under the covers he went into the bathroom and stood staring at himself in the mirror. Something was different about his reflection. He looked like a man suddenly at peace with himself and his past. It was so hard to believe that she loved him. It was surreal, a feeling like nothing he had ever known. He loved her, always had. He had just never dreamed that she could return that love.
He knew that nothing would change, as far as the Centre was concerned. She had to continue her pursuit of him. They could never know what had taken place between the two of them. Jarod knew that her father would stop at nothing to get him back to the prison that had held him for three decades of his life. Even the life of his own daughter meant less to Mr. Parker than the capture of the Centre’s runaway. He had proven that repeatedly.
Author: Jennifer DeNaughel
Rating: PG, Adult situations
Category: Major drama, Romance, Major angst (J/MP)
Archived on: March 10, 2002
Timeline: Late-season one
Spoilers: "Not Even A Mouse"
Summary: Miss Parker captures Jarod . . .well, sort of.
Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exhausted and emotionally drained, Jarod dropped his bag on the bed and went into the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, he splashed cold water over his face. The shock of it barely fazed his senses. The sting of the shower on his skin brought him slowly towards some semblance of alertness.
His mind began to wander back to the events of the past few days. Something he had dreaded. The overwhelming sense of guilt was almost more than his senses could take. Stumbling out of the shower, he slipped into a pair of sweatpants and wrapped a towel around his neck.
The moment he opened the bathroom door he knew he was no longer alone. As he approached the mirror above the antique dresser, he began to dry his hair. Without a flicker of emotion he chuckled softly shaking his head, “Where’s the rest of your entourage? Surely you didn’t come here to apprehend the dangerous fugitive all by yourself.”
Miss Parker stepped out of the shadows with gun in hand, “I have all the backup I need right here. You, Jarod, are no more a danger to me than a certain fuzzy, white bunny I know.”
“I wondered if you kept it,” he smiled warmly.
Suddenly uncomfortable, Miss Parker moved toward the door and locked it. Turning the dead bolt and slipping the chain into place. “Don’t think for a minute that reminding me of your gift or flashing me that sickeningly charming smile of yours is going to make me let you go.”
Jarod grinned as he fell back on the bed. “Not for a minute, Parker. I wouldn’t even think that for a minute.”
Miss Parker turned and caught her breath at the sight of him lying shirtless on the bed with his eyes closed. The muscles of his broad chest and powerful shoulders suddenly made her long to go to him...to be held in those arms… Shaking her head, she struggled to regain some composure before approaching him. “Jarod,” she sat down on the edge of the bed willing herself not to look at him.
“Hmm,” was his only response.
Fighting the growing urge to turn and face him, Miss Parker put the safety on her gun and slipped it back into the holster under her black leather jacket. “For whatever it’s worth, I want you to know that if I had any other choice…”
“It’s okay, Parker,” Jarod whispered. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”
The pain and grief in the pretender’s voice shattered her resistance as Miss Parker turned to him. In his warm brown eyes, she saw the one thing she never in a million years expected to see…total surrender. The fight had all but gone out of him. The prey was just handing himself over to the huntress. “Jarod, what game are you playing? Do you really expect me to believe that you are just giving up? What happened to you?”
Jarod closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears, but he lost the battle. “Miss Parker, I never meant to hurt anyone. I believed in justice…fought for justice. I lost control…my anger took over and I killed him.”
His words echoed in Miss Parker’s mind. Jarod…killed someone? It was not possible. Yet the tears streaming down his face told her that it was. Her own eyes glittered with tears as she silently wished that Sydney were there. What would he say to comfort Jarod? Then she suddenly realized that the comfort he needed could only come from her. She understood what he was feeling; the guilt, the confusion, the utter loss of self. Yes, she understood…all too well.
Slowly she reached her hand out and touched his face. “Jarod,” Miss Parker whispered. “I’m here…please, talk to me.”
Jarod opened his eyes and stared at her in surprise, “Parker?”
Smiling slightly, Miss Parker nodded, “I know it was another lifetime, but you and I were best friends. You were always there for me whenever I needed you. Let me help you. Tell me what happened.”
Jarod focused his eyes on the dirty, water-stained ceiling of the motel room as he struggled to find the words. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded hollow. “My last pretend was as a bouncer for a bar. I was trying to catch a serial rapist. He had been stalking women from the club…following them to where they lived, then breaking into their homes. He tortured and raped them until they were on the verge of death, then he would dial 911 from the woman’s own telephone and gloat about his latest ‘triumph’. By the time the police and paramedics reached the victim’s house, he was long gone. There were no fingerprints, no DNA samples…nothing. Not even a trace of evidence to lead the police to him.”
Taking Jarod’s hand in hers, Miss Parker squeezed it gently and waited for him to continue.
Feeling her fingers intertwining with his, Jarod’s gaze locked on their hands. Drawing from her strength, he took a deep breath. “It was after closing time last Friday night, I’d gone outside to wait for Cassie to lock up the bar. I had made it my job to always walk the female employees to their cars after dark. She came out and was laughing and teasing me about being over protective. I didn’t see him until it was too late. I remember feeling a sudden burning sensation in the back of my right thigh, then everything went black.
“I came to a few minutes later to the sound of Cassie’s screams. I lost it then, I saw him dragging her into his car and I lost control. I pulled him off of her and threw him down on the ground. It was then that I noticed the six-inch knife, buried to the hilt, in my thigh.” Jarod cringed as he remembered the blinding pain, “I yanked it out just as he came at me again.” With a ragged breath, Jarod looked up into Miss Parker’s blue eyes, “I was filled with an anger like I have never felt before. I didn’t even hesitate. I killed him, with his own knife. By the time the police arrived, I had passed out from loss of blood. Cassie told them what had happened…they didn’t even question my actions. Cassie called me her hero. I am no hero. I killed a man in cold blood.”
Miss Parker shook her head slowly, “No, Jarod. You did what any other mere mortal would do if put in that same situation. You defended yourself and Cassie.”
“I lost control.”
“Jarod, Cassie would have become just another statistic if you had not been there. That monster only got what he had coming to him. You can’t beat yourself up over this.”
“I am no better than him.”
“You’re wrong, Jarod. You are better. You are Cassie’s hero. You are everybody’s hero. These past four years…you have helped a lot of people who had no one else to turn to. Where would they be now if you had not come along? Where would I be…you helped me, though God knows I didn’t deserve it.”
Jarod was amazed by Miss Parker’s admission. Her eyes flashed like blue fire as she spoke. Suddenly, he felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. “Miss Parker, you deserve more…much more.”
Confused by the tenderness of his words, she met his gaze and observed that the old Jarod was beginning to resurface. Miss Parker immediately slipped back into her ‘Ice Queen’ façade, but not before Jarod had witnessed her moment of weakness. She knew that he would take advantage of it the first chance he got. She never should have let her guard down.
“Jarod, I will be taking you back in the morning. This doesn’t change anything between us.”
“I know. Nothing can change the way things are between us can it.”
Miss Parker caught the look of longing in his eyes just before he turned his back to her. As tears threatened to fall again, she shook her head silently. “I wish…” she whispered.
“Miss Parker.”
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“Jarod.”
“Hmm?”
“They don’t know I am here.”
Jarod rolled over and looked up at her, “What are you saying?”
Miss Parker laughed softly, “I ran away, Jarod.”
“Parker?” Jarod sat up and studied her for a moment.
“I was determined to find you on my own and bring you back to the Centre. To tell you the truth, at first I was positive that I was doing it for my father’s benefit. Then I was here, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom, when I realized that I found you this time because I’d wanted to. I never truly wanted to find you before now. The ironic thing is, I wanted to find you because I needed face my feelings for you, once and for all.”
Jarod remained silent for fear that she would retreat back into her protective fortress. He knew that if she did so, there would never be a recurrence.
“Jarod, when we were together at the Centre. Those were the happiest days of my life. After my mother was killed, you were there for me. I never told you what that meant to me. I never told you then that I loved you. Jarod, I never stopped loving you.”
Unable to believe he was hearing those words from her, Jarod found himself speechless. She misunderstood his silence and tried to pull away. He stopped her with a hand on her arm and pulled her into his embrace. “Parker…I never knew. I never dreamed that you felt anything for me after all these years.”
“I don’t want your pity, Jarod,” she pulled away and stood.
Jarod smiled, “I wasn’t offering you my pity. I was offering you my heart. But of course, it has always belonged to you.”
Miss Parker’s eyes filled with tears as she fell into his arms. When he kissed her, every year since that first kiss when they were ten, seemed to melt away into the abyss.
Jarod awoke a few hours later and he was alone. Only her 9mm laying on the nightstand next to the bed reassured him that he had not been dreaming. But where had she gone? His mind wandered back. He smiled as he remembered the feeling of finally being able to hold her. The smell of her perfume still hung in the air and on the pillows next to him.
Dragging himself from under the covers he went into the bathroom and stood staring at himself in the mirror. Something was different about his reflection. He looked like a man suddenly at peace with himself and his past. It was so hard to believe that she loved him. It was surreal, a feeling like nothing he had ever known. He loved her, always had. He had just never dreamed that she could return that love.
He knew that nothing would change, as far as the Centre was concerned. She had to continue her pursuit of him. They could never know what had taken place between the two of them. Jarod knew that her father would stop at nothing to get him back to the prison that had held him for three decades of his life. Even the life of his own daughter meant less to Mr. Parker than the capture of the Centre’s runaway. He had proven that repeatedly.
