Usual disclaimers apply. Jarod isn't mine, and although Trever wishes Jarod was hers, he isn't, Trevor! He belongs to NBC and the nice folks there. Thanks to Tian 'This **** background hurts my eyes, can you change it' in OZ for helping me with the moral (mor-AL) and keeping me in good spirits about this writing. Also thanks to Ryan 'leave her alone, Tian!' Smith for denfending me. I couldn't have written any of this without you guys and your help! OK, on to the story. Oh, yeah. This is the first in a series of 'DMV' fanfics. Stay tuned.



Jarod and the DMV

by Sarah




Jarod had been waiting in line at the DMV for over an hour. He fidgeted, he twiddled his thumbs, he tried to concentrate on his
latest pretend; nothing worked. OK, this has got to stop, he thought. I have places to go, people to see, pretends to perform!
Trevor is waiting on me! He walked to the front of the line. Maybe the man at the counter would understand. "Uh, excuse me."
Jarod smiled at the clerk. The clerk frowned.

"End of the line."

"But I need to get out of here..."

"Back of the line!" The clerk waved Jarod out of the way. Jarod grumbled as he walked back to the end. He figeted, he
twiddled his thumbs, he tried to concentrate on his latest pretend, nothing worked. Alright, Jarod thought, enough is enough! He walked back out to his car and picked up some items from the trunk, then walked to the bathroom.

* *

"Excuse me, are you...Vincent DiGiorno?"

The clerk looked up as the familliar looking man asking him his name. "Yes, why?"

The man smiled. "I think we have some things to discuss about your finances, Mr. DiGiorno."

DiGiorno stuttered, "Uh, uh, you were just in here?"

"Why, yes, I was."

Uh, why don't we see what we can do about your drivers license, Mr. uh, Revenue."

Jarod put his briefcase on the countertop. "Thank you, Mr. DiGiorno."

"Just one question, are you the IRS?"

Jarod smiled. "I am today."

Second in the 'DMV' series. Standard disclaimers apply

Miss Parker and the DMV

by Sarah





Miss Parker was standing in line, as she had been for the last two hours. She was getting very mad. Actually, that was an
understatement. Miss Parker was waaaaaaay past mad. She was plain furious. She stalked to the front of the line and slammed
her hands down on the counter.

"Yeeeeeeeeess?" The clerk was sappily sweet. "Can I help yew?"

Miss Parker spit out the words. "Yes. You can let me get my drivers license renewed right now."

The lady smiled. "Ahm sorry, Ma'am, but ah cahn't dew thet raght now. Yew'll have ta go tew the bahck uv the lahn, Ma'am."
She waved her hand towards the end of the line, which now stretched out the door.

Miss Parker grinned tightly. "Well, I'm afraid I don't have the time to wait at the end of the line. Why don't you help me now,
and nobody gets hurt."

The lady's face turned hard. "Back of the lahn, Miss. Thenk yew. Next!"

Miss Parker stomped to the back of the line. She waited. She tapped her foot. She buffed her nails. Thirty minutes later she was no closer to the front of the line. OK, she thought, this is it! I'm ending this right now! She reached behind her back and grasped the handle of the 9mm. Slowly she brought it around in front of her and tapped the man's shoulder in front of her. The man turned, disgusted, then when he saw the gun and his eyes widened. Without a word he ran out of the DMV. The next lady in line did the same thing, as did the next man. Soon Miss Parker was the only one in the line. She smiled at the clerk.

"Now, shall we continue?"

The third in the 'DMV' series. Standard disclaimers apply.

Broots at the DMV

by Sarah




Broots, again, was stuck at the DMV. This was taking even longer than normal, he thought. OK, I can end this. Miss Parker's
told me how to take care of things like this. He squared his shoulders and walked to the front desk. Broots, in a rare form
today, slammed his hands down on the counter.

"I want my driver's license renewed NOW!" He was panting from the effort of a new persona. This was fun! Miss Parker had
never told him how exhilerating taking charge could be! He glared at the clerk, who stared dipassionately at him.

"Please go to the back of the line." The clerk was young and acne-faced, and couldn't care less whether Broots stayed or left.
Broots slammed his fist on the counter and winced. Ow! Miss Parker hadn't said how much that hurt!

He shook his hand to rid the pain and stared the clerk in the face. "I need my driver's license today, and I'm not leaving til I get
it!"

"Fine, get back to the end of the line." The clerk waved his hand towards the door.

Realizing that his words hadn't had the effect he wanted, Broots meekly walked back to his place in line, passing a strangely
familliar man who was chuckling behind his hand. After another half an hour Broots was ready to try again. He walked to the
front of the line and pushed the woman in line out of the way.

"Hey! she shrieked. She grabbed his hand and flipped him over her head in a perfect judo move. Broots laid on the foor,
groaning, then stumbled to his feet and staggered to the back of the line. He waited. For another half hour he waited. Finally, he was at the front of the line.

"Thank heavens!" Broots reached for his wallet for his license. The clerk waved his hand at Broots.

"I'm sorry, we're closed for the day. Come back tomorrow." The clerk put the 'Closed' sign on the window opening and
walked out the door. Broots threw his hands up in disgust. "Drat it all!!" He walked back to the Centre with an expired drivers
license, resolving to come back the next day with a sweeper to take out those ladies with the judo lessons.

FEEDBACK

Fourth in the DMV series. Standard disclaimers, and all that rot.

Sydney at the DMV

by Sarah




Sydney patiently waited in line as he had for the past hour and a half at the DMV. He really wasn't in that much of a hurry, but
nobody likes standing in lines. The psychologist within gave Syd a different view of the people in line. There was the man three
persons back from the front of the line, glancing at his watch like he was in a hurry. This man probably has a wife waiting for him at home, Syd thought to himself. This was really his favorite time of the year, because he was able to indulge the fantasies not possible at the Centre. At the Centre he had all the psych profiles of the workers so he didn't have to invent things about them. Here, though, he didn't know anything about anybody.

The man four persons away from Sydney suddenly stalked to the front of the line. Syd was suprised to see it was Broots. Well, though Syd, this is a departure from the normal meek Broots. I wonder what he's going to do? Broots slammed his fist down on the counter and jerked his hand back, shaking it. Sydney chuckled silently. Aparently Broots had been listening to Miss Parker about how to handle situations. Broots was waving his arms around and yelling, trying to get his driver's license taken care of. He finally walked meekly back to the line where he was and stood for the next half hour. Sydney could see Broots was getting ticked again, and he waited with a smile on his face to see what Broots did next. Broots pushed the woman in front of him out of the way, and she grabbed his arm and flipped him over her head in a perfect Judo move. It was all Sydney could do to keep from laughing out loud. Broots staggered to his feet and walked to the very end of the line, not seeing Sydney as he passed.

Sydney only had to wait another three quarters of an hour to get his drivers license renewed, and he watched Broots mumble
and moan at the end of the line. Everyone's tempers were wearing thin by the time Syd got to the front, but this was Sydney's
element.

The acne faced kid behind the desk was probably going to school part time and working here the other part. As Sydney left the DMV he made sure Broots didn't see him. Syd made a mental note to schedule a few extra therapy sessions for Broots when he got back to the Centre. Then he walked out, whistling.



FEEDBACK