Disclaimer: You all know it and yet I will say it again; they don’t belong to me and I will not make any money with these little stories so you don’t have to waste your time suing me.

Author’s Note: Hey everyone. So here it finally is: the new story. After some small problems with finding a new title for this and afterwards more serious trouble with our internet connection, leaving us offline for three days, I can finally post. It will be the start to a REALLY long series! I hope that you will enjoy this new ride and that you will tell me so, just as I hope that you will tell me even if you don’t like it!

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen

Opening


He sat defiantly on the chair, looking straight ahead without really seeing anything. His mouth was set into a firm line. His arms were crossed in front of his chest. It was as if he was shielding himself from the angry words that spilled out over him. He let the livid words wash over him without paying attention and without even trying to comprehend them. He had long ago stopped trying to grasp them. They weren’t important and he wasn’t interested in them, so he just didn’t bother.

What they said was all the same anyway: ‘He was being difficult and what they had done to deserve this. They were there for him when no one else was able to and so he should be grateful. But no, he was being ungrateful. They only tried to help him and why he thanked them with this behaviour.’

It ended up with the same speech every time they came to this point - which had been often in the last few weeks.

He gritted his teeth and burrowed his clenched fists under his arms, obscuring them from view.

“Why didn’t he care?”

He nearly rolled his eyes.

‘Why didn’t he care?’ the question echoed in his mind.

He had long since stopped caring - after all, no one else seemed to care. There had been a shimmer of hope for a short while but then, like everything else, that shimmer had died when he found out that no one cared indeed. He had tried to convince himself otherwise, had hoped that everything would get better in time, but it had been to no avail.

There was no one who cared for him so he had stopped caring as well.

This discovery had left him angry and defiant and there was nothing anyone could do to revoke that opinion.

He sat still as the words slowly became more and more hesitantly when it got clear that he was not listening, or at least not paying any attention to what was said.

Finally the words came to a halt.

He looked up, his eyes hard, and he crooked his head to the side.

“Can I go to my room now, or is there something else you want to throw at me?” he snarled.

The man’s eyes narrowed briefly but he backed away. “No, you can go,” came his frustrated reply. He watched the younger man standing up regally in a fluid motion and straightening.

Turning on his heel, the younger man left the room without a backwards glance.

The door still open, he could hear them talking quietly behind him.

“We should probably make the phone call now. I don’t think we’ll get anywhere with him.”

He heard the man sigh. “Yes, you’re right.”

Oh great, how he hated everything!



To be continued…

Ok, I know it’s as short as it is confusing.
I just can’t bring myself to do ‘not-confusing’ first chapters. Sorry for that.
Anyway, I promise that it will get MUCH clearer either already in the next chapter or in the one after that - scouts-honour.
Feedback is welcome

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 2

Freedom and a phone call


He walked along the waters edge. He loved it when the wind rustled his hair and he could breathe in the salty air. The smell and the salt in the air was what had mesmerized him at first. It was so completely unlike the air he had breathed for most of his life in the Centre and also completely unlike the air in the city.

He smiled at the memory that popped up in his mind:

He had stood on the beach for a whole day and just breathed in and out when he had first come to the coast. And then when the night came, he had just lowered himself to the ground. Luckily he had taken a light blanket with him in his backpack.

He had just sat there on the beach, snuggled into the blanket and watching the water, the beach, and the stars above. Without intending to do so, he had fallen asleep, calmed by the sounds and smell of nature.

He had been woken up by someone nudging his shoulder rather roughly and he had found himself looking up at a police officer. It quickly became clear that it wasn’t allowed to sleep on the beach.

And yet, despite all the problems it had caused, the memory was a pleasant and welcome one. It was part of his first experiences in the real world and therefore an important part of who he was.

He shook off the memory and turned slightly so that he was facing the water. Seagulls were sailing in the air without so much making an effort to move their wings.

The waves were gently lapping onto the shore, breaking at some distance in front of it and gently rolling onto the beach, producing an ebb and flow of water on the soft sand.

Again, he breathed deeply and then turned back to walk some more.

Abruptly he came to a halt after only walking a short distance.

He watched the child in front of him, mesmerized.

It wasn’t so much the child that fascinated him but what the teen was doing.

He tilted his head to his side and continued to watch the fluid motions the boy made that were transpired to the object above. His gaze was transfixed onto the object and he was following its every move.

He started walking again, this time having a destination. He stepped up directly next to the young boy.

“Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked.

The boy, obviously having heard him stepping next to him, turned towards him, his eyes leaving the object above and growing when he faced him. “Are you kidding Mister? You mean to tell me that you have never seen a kite? Where did you grow up?”

He swallowed, not really nervous for it wasn’t the first time that this question had been posed to him. “They didn’t have things like that where I grew up,” he grinned and looked up at the kite again.

The boy blinked and then shook his head. He turned his eyes back to the object above them as well.

“A piece of fabric put up between a frame and with the aid of the wind flying in the breeze,” Jarod analysed. “Impressive,” he added.

The boy turned to him again. “You are kidding, aren’t you?”

“May I perhaps try?” Jarod asked the boy carefully.

The teen shrugged his shoulders. “Step behind me and take the lines. You have to be careful with your moves. The kite is easily irritable,” the boy said and looked at him.

Jarod nodded and then did as the boy had asked. He stepped behind him and carefully took the reins.

“You got them?” the boy asked and waited for Jarod to confirm before he let go of the ropes. When he did, the boy ducked out under the ropes and stepped next to Jarod.

Slowly, the tension left Jarod’s body and his movements became less shaky. He steadied the kite and then gently pulled at one rope to get him to fly to one side.

“Hey, not bad,” the boy observed and relaxed as well when he saw that Jarod had a good feeling for his kite.

“I’m a fast learner,” Jarod grinned.

The boy chuckled. “Well, you are lucky that the wind isn’t that strong today. It is a good day to fly a kite for the first time. Wind like yesterday is a lot more difficult.”

“I can imagine,” Jarod nodded and let the kite fly into the other direction.

“Get him a bit higher up into the air and then tug at one of the ropes rather suddenly but with feeling. That way you will get the kite to make a looping,” the boy explained.

Jarod nodded. He did what the boy asked but it didn’t work. He barely got the kite up again before it crashed onto the ground.

“Whew. I nearly crashed it. I think I should give it back to you before I ruin it,” Jarod said.

“No, you cleared the situation well. Try again,” the boy shook his head, refusing to take his kite back.

“Sure?” Jarod asked, his heart still beating rather hard in his chest after the near crash.

“Yes, the kite can stand some crashes. I’ve had my share of them so go on,” the boy urged him, grinning at his own statement.

Jarod nodded and concentrated. His eyes followed the kite closely and then he again tried the move the boy had explained to him.

And this time it worked.

A smile grew on Jarod’s face. “Gotcha.”

“See, it’s not that hard, but I wouldn’t have thought you to learn that fast,” the boy nodded, impressed. “And now turn him again. This time into the other direction so that you have the lines clear in front of you again.”

“Ok,” Jarod said and yanked at the rope. The kite came rather close to the ground but it worked nonetheless.

“Good,” the boy observed.

Jarod did one or two more loops, all successful. He turned towards the boy and saw him looking up at his kite with a stunned expression. He smirked. “I told you that I was a fast learner,” Jarod grinned, making the boy turn towards him, returning his grin.

Before the boy could reply something to Jarod’s statement they were interrupted by a shrill sound. Both man looked at one another with a confused frown until the sound registered in both their minds.

“Damn, that’s my cell,” Jarod grumbled and was about to reach out for it when he remembered the kite. He looked at the boy. “Maybe you should,” he let the sentence trail off, indicating the kite with a nod of his head.

“Sure,” the boy nodded and moved so that he was standing back in front of Jarod, ready to take the ropes back from him. “Got them,” he informed the man who was now again standing behind him.

Jarod took a step back and then grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket.

“This is Jarod,” he answered when he snatched the device open.

“Son,” he heard a voice announce from the other end.

“Dad?” he asked incredulously. “Where did you get this number from?”

“I had a bit of luck. How are you, Jarod?”

“Free and fine,” Jarod answered. “Where are you? Can we meet?” he questioned excitedly. He walked back to the boy and put a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks,” he whispered when the teen looked up. The boy nodded while grinning widely.

“Son?” the Major asked.

“Yes, sorry. I just had to talk to someone. So, can we meet?”

“No, I’m afraid that won’t be possible at the moment,” the Major declined sadly.

Jarod’s shoulders fell and he heaved a breath.

“Sorry Jarod. I just think that the Centre is rather close on our heels at the moment. I don’t think it would be wise to meet up with you now.”

“Our heels?” Jarod asked. “Are Emily and the boy with you?”

“Emily is but not the boy. Jay is still safe where I brought him after we first found him,” the Major explained. “And this is basically why I’m calling you right now.”

Jarod frowned at that comment. “Jay?”

“That’s the name the boy chose for himself,” the Major informed his son.

“Oh, ok. And what is it that has you worried?”

“I got a call from my friends who agreed to take care of him and it seems that he has been difficult for about two and a half months now. He’s rather aggressive and skipping lessons at school. A few days ago he had a fight with another boy at school,” Major Charles explained.

“Wait a moment. He’s going to school?”

“Yes, he is. We thought it best if he would go to school so as not to attract any attention in the small town about his staying home. The plan was for him not to do all his classes as well as he could and to keep a low profile, but obviously he is attracting quite a lot of attention. Not the way I feared he would but he does.”

Jarod nodded and just made a noncommittal sound, asking his father to go on.

“Well, they called me and asked me to come because they have no idea how to deal with him any longer. He is obviously unresponsive to any arguments. But well,” his father hesitated.

“You have no possibility to get there without getting the Centre’s attraction on the boy and bringing all of you in danger,” Jarod finished for him.

“Yes,” the Major admitted. “Could you perhaps…” he trailed off again.

Jarod smiled. “Where is he?”

“Are you sure the line is secure?”

“It should be but we shouldn’t take any chances. Call me back in about ten minutes. I will be back at my room then and I have a scrambler there,” Jarod responded.

“Ok, will do,” Major Charles replied.

They both disconnected and Jarod hurried to get back to his lair. He started throwing his things back into his bag. Even though he had just arrived yesterday, he was on his way again.

When his father called him again, he had nearly finished packing. His father gave him the directions and Jarod quickly wrote them down. They were about to end the conversation when Jarod addressed his father once more.

“Dad, how’s Emily?”

The Major chuckled. “She’s fine, but how about I let her tell you that herself? Em, wait.”

Jarod grinned and waited for his sister to get the phone.

“Jarod?” he heard her say breathlessly.

His face lit up when he heard her voice and he sat down on the bed. “Em,” he sighed. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, Jarod. I’m fine,” she replied.

“That’s good,” Jarod breathed deeply and closed his eyes. “You had me worried.”

“Yeah, the last time we saw each other three months back was clearly not my best time,” she replied softly.

“No, I think it wouldn’t be exaggerated to say that. But now you’re ok, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m really fine; still on the run but not alone any longer. I would be even better if you were with us,” she sighed.

“One day, Em, one day we will all be together,” Jarod said firmly.

“I really hope so.”

“So do I, Emily. So do I. Just hang in there together with Dad and stay safe and away from the Centre.”

“I will, and you too stay away from them,” she gave back.

Jarod smiled at the tone of her voice. “I will,” he said. “I love you, little sister.”

“I love you too, big brother,” Emily replied, with tears shining through her voice.

“I’m sure that we’ll see each other again real soon,” Jarod said, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Ok,” Emily sobbed.

Jarod listened helplessly as his sister cried softly at the other end of the phone.

“Jarod?” his father’s voice rang out suddenly.

“Hmm?” Jarod mumbled, not quite trusting his voice.

“We will see each other soon,” it was a statement and not a question and it came with certainty.

“Yes, we will Dad,” Jarod replied. “Just stay one or two steps ahead of the Centre. I don’t want to have to worry about you.”

“You don’t have to. We will move again today. You just get to the boy and try to find out what the problem is and we will see that we stay away from the Centre.”

“Ok. I will make contact soon,” Jarod said and looked at the number his father had given him at the beginning of their conversation. “I better go now.”

“Yes, take care my boy,” the Major said, emotions colouring his voice now as well.

Jarod nodded. “I will, Dad,” he breathed deeply. “I love you.”

“I love you too, son. Be careful,” the Major said and then they both terminated connection.

Jarod swallowed and put his face in his hands. He had just spoken to his family, at least to a part of his family. He looked up, a small smile forming on his face.

And now he would go to another member of his family; a young boy who was genetically identical to him and who obviously needed some help to get along.


To be continued…

Author’s Note: Ok, I would think that the story line got clearer now and that there aren’t as many question marks on your faces as after the first chapter, right?
Oh and about the kite… well, it was an idea that popped up in my mind when I was on the beach the last time and there was enough wind to fly them. I do it occasionally myself. I’m far from being extremely good or even being a professional but I’m always enjoying it and I just had to put it into the story.

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 3

Happy Welcome


He got out of his car stiffly. Once out of the confined space, he stretched and took a deep breath. He had been on the road for the better part of the last day and a half and now he had finally arrived at his destination.

He turned and looked over to the house.

Straightening, he walked up to the front porch and turned once more to admire the view. Shaking himself out of his reverie, he took the last step towards the door and knocked loudly.

Only moments later, one could hear footsteps approaching. The door was pulled open, revealing a petite woman who looked to be in her sixties. Even in the dim light of the house, Jarod could see that she had long, dark hair that was pushed into a braid that hang loosely over her shoulder.

“Yes?” she asked, eying him from head to toe.

“Excuse me, Ma’am. I presume that someone told you I’d be coming,” he smiled. “My name is Jarod,” he added, when he saw a frown appear on the woman’s face.

Her face lit up at that name and she pushed the door open further. “Jarod. Yes, of course. Forgive me for not recognizing you,” she gestured him to come in.

“Thank you,” Jarod nodded at her gesture and let himself be ushered into the living room.

“Marc, this is Jarod,” the woman announced once they entered the room.

An elderly gentleman looked up from his reading. He was sitting in a comfortable looking leather armchair, reading a book, a pipe dancing in one corner of his mouth. When his gaze came to rest on the young man, now standing in his living room, his face lit up just as his wife’s had. He swiftly put the book down and got up from his seat, walking over to Jarod. Putting out his hand, he waited for Jarod to take it and then shook it firmly.

“Welcome, Jarod. We didn’t think you’d be here so soon. Your father wasn’t really precise on the time frame,” the man said.

Jarod smiled and then nodded. “Yes, I wasn’t sure how long I would need myself and to be honest, I got here faster than I had calculated, Mr…”

“Skip the Mister. It’s Marc and… has my lovely wife introduced herself?”

“Oh, how very rude of me. No, I didn’t, dear,” the woman fell in before Jarod could answer.

Marc put out his hand and drew his wife over to him. “Jarod, this is my wife Carol.”

“Pleased to meet you, Carol,” he smiled widely and shook her hand.

Carol removed herself from her husband’s grasp and headed to what Jarod presumed to be the kitchen.

“You go on talking. I have some chocolate cookies in the oven that I need to give a glance so that they don’t burn,” Carol announced.

Jarod’s face lit up briefly at the mention of cookies but he bit down a remark.

Both of his hosts saw the flash in his eyes and on his face nonetheless.

“Don’t you worry. I made them for Jay and you. You will have to wait a bit though until they get cold,” she told him, smiling brightly.

Jarod blushed but then he chuckled deeply at her comment. “Thank you Carol,” he said, looking at her.

She just waved a hand at him and vanished into the kitchen.

“Sit down, Jarod,” Marc invited and pointed to the sofa standing close by. Jarod nodded his thanks and sat down leaning back in his seat.

“So, how long have you been on the road?” Marc asked.

“The better part of the last thirty-six hours,” he replied evenly.

“That’s an awful lot. You must be tired then,” Marc said astonished, while his eyebrows shot up high on his forehead.

Jarod chuckled, touched by the concern in the man’s voice. “No, Marc. I’m fine. I am used to getting little sleep and so being on the road that long is no real problem. I’m used to travelling a lot as well,” he shrugged.

“Yeah, I can imagine. You’re not the only one that can go without sleep for a long time though. I shouldn’t have been surprised,” Marc gave back.

Now, Jarod’s eyebrow rose up on his forehead. “Jay?”

Marc nodded sadly. “He still has a lot of nightmares and even if he doesn’t, he never sleeps much. He usually is up very early in the morning.”

Jarod sighed but then composed himself. “Where is he?”

The man smiled. “Still at school. He will come back in about,” he paused, looking at the clock that was in the room. “In about two hours.”

Jarod merely nodded.

“Do you want to lie down until he comes back?” Marc asked.

Shaking his head, Jarod sat up straight in his seat. “No, in fact, I’d rather hear a bit more about the troubles he’s causing.”

“Yes, that would be reasonable,” Marc nodded and then started. “I presume that the Major told you the general facts?”

Jarod nodded.

“At first, he was such a shy and nice young man. He was really doing fine from what we could observe,” Marc explained.

“Sorry to interrupt Marc, but… how much do you know about Jay’s history?”

Marc smiled sadly. “We know what he’s been through, Jarod. If that’s what your question was. We know about the Centre. We know what you both have been through. We know that he is your little brother and that you helped your father in rescuing him,” Marc said.

Jarod nodded, keeping the fact that Jay was not his brother but his clone a secret.

“As I said, he was a real good boy, never making any trouble. He was really trying his best to adjust to his new environment and he was doing fine. He strived for affection and we were ready to give it to him. Everything seemed fine.”

“What happened?”

Marc shook his head sadly and shrugged his shoulders. “We don’t know. There was nothing that would explain his behaviour. We asked the school if there had been anything that could have changed Jay that drastically but they also didn’t know. He had never been disobedient at school before but they said that they had noticed his change as well and that they had been about to ask us about it.”

Jarod frowned at the tale Marc told. “When was that?”

“I started not quite three months back.”

Jarod nodded and then looked out of the window for several seconds in concentration. Three months back… “That’s about nearly a year after he came here, right?” he inquired.

“Yes, it is. We really don’t know what happened. This sudden change,” Marc trailed off. “He started skipping classed and being rebellious in school as well as here. Since then he has been suspended from school twice. The first time he was cheating in a test and the second time was only three weeks ago. He was involved in a fist fight with another boy. Jay obviously started the fight,” Marc sighed deeply.

“What about his grades?” Jarod asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

“We agreed with the Major that he shouldn’t do as well as he could but his grades have dropped drastically since this whole thing started,” Marc informed him.

Jarod nodded, filing that piece of information away for further use. At the moment, he was trying to get as much information about Jay’s behaviour so that he could get an idea what it was that had made the boy change.

“You certainly tried to talk to him during that time,” Jarod half stated and half asked Marc.

“Of course we did,” Marc nodded. “At first we seemed to get somewhere with the talks we had, but as time went by he closed up on us. The last time we talked about his behaviour was three days ago after he got into a fight outside of school. He just sat there and didn’t respond at all; just stared straight ahead as if we weren’t there at all. I normally don’t give up that fast but I didn’t know what else we could do so I called Charles.”

“You did the right thing,” Jarod reassured the man.

Marc just shrugged with a sad expression on his face. “I really don’t know what changed him.”

Jarod smiled lightly. “I’m here to find that out and try to help him.”

“I hope you will be able to do so,” Marc sighed. “I really don’t know what else to do.” He paused and then looked up at Jarod again. “You are staying here with us of course.”

“Oh that won’t be necessary. I can find myself a place to--” Jarod started but he was quickly interrupted by Marc.

“I know that it’s not necessary but we would love to have you here with us. We are really enjoying the company,” Marc said firmly.

Jarod nodded, smiling. “Ok, then. If you want me to stay, I will gladly stay here. I don’t usually have company.”

“See,” Marc nodded curtly, pleased with the decision. As Jarod would quickly see, it was a movement, Marc was using often and that had become an unconscious one.

Both Marc and Jarod looked at each other with a pleased expression, taking a liking in the presence of the other one.

This calm and relaxed silence was interrupted when suddenly the door opened and only moments later banged shut loudly.

Marc sighed and looked at Jarod apologetically.

Seconds later, Jay stalked into the room and walked over to the kitchen without turning to look at the rooms occupants.

He came back out of the kitchen only a heartbeat later with a cookie in his hand. It was the first time Jarod saw Jay’s face after entering the house. It was very serious. His younger self looked straight ahead. His eyes, Jarod could only briefly see, were unlike his own. They had the same colour, yes but they lacked the living spark that was inhibiting his own.

Jarod frowned at the young man’s expression.

Jay walked right out of the room and Marc and Jarod could hear him walking up the stairs with firm and somewhat angry steps.

Jarod looked over to Marc who was about to get up from his seat and go after the boy. He had an angry expression on his face and Jarod saw that he was furious even though Marc tried to hide it. The older man stood up.

“Let him be,” Jarod said calmly.

Marc’s gaze snapped over to where Jarod sat. “He didn’t look at us. I don’t think he even saw you sitting here. I want him to come down and at least say hello.”

“That wouldn’t do any good and he saw me. He knows that I’m here. Give him time to grasp that fact and get down from his trip,” Jarod shook his head. He had seen his younger twins eyes dart towards him very briefly. If he hadn’t been observing Jay’s movements closely he would have missed it. He had also seen the surprise in Jay’s eyes.

What he had also seen in the young man’s eyes and what was that puzzled him most, was the anger and coldness that flared up at the recognition.

Marc had settled back into his chair, mumbling something along the lines of: “If you think so. But I wouldn’t count on that!”

Jarod leaned back in the chair again as well, replaying the moment once more and trying to sort through the brief memory. He suddenly got the feeling that there was more to Jay’s behaviour than met the eye, and that it would take him more time and effort to break through to him than just walk into this house and into the young man’s life.


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 4

Waiting


When Jay came down a few hours later Marc, Carol and Jarod were sitting in the living room. Jarod was helping himself with some cookies. Jarod gave Carol an apologetic glance wherever he reached out but the woman was just smiling brightly each time she saw the young man lean forward to take another one.

They had been talking quietly and amiably among themselves but slowly, Carol and Marc were getting edgy. They were both getting more and more agitated about Jay’s staying upstairs.

Jarod had held them back from either trying to call the young man down or to walk up and drag him out of his room.

Both Carol and Marc were still angry at Jay for not welcoming Jarod.

Jarod had quickly realized that Marc and Carol were proud people who set great value on good manners. They had tried to show those manners to Jay and they were angry at him for seemingly abandoning these and act consciously against what they had tried to teach him.

Reassuring them time and time again that it was fine and that they should just let Jay be, Jarod tried to keep up a conversation and distract both with it just as much as he tried to distract Carol with each and every cookie he took.

It hadn’t taken much for Jarod to steer the conversation to his parents. Marc and Carol had easily volunteered information about Jarod’s father and mother. The men had gotten to know each other during their shared Air Force time. They had kept loose contact until the Major had appeared on their doorstep with Jay in tow, asking them to take care of the boy for a while.

All conversation came to a halt when Jay came into the room and walked straight through it to the kitchen. He came back with a glass of water and was about to return to his room, when Marc growled angrily.

Jarod winced and gave the man a stare, trying to tell him to stay silent.

Of course, Jay had heard the growl as well as Jarod had. He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around to face the adults.

“Why is he here?” he asked evenly.

Carol and Marc both gasped rather loudly but Jarod remained stoic. “I’m visiting family,” he said slowly, watching the young man’s reaction.

Marc and Carol looked at Jarod with a strange expression but they kept their mouths shut. Had he had the time to concentrate on his hosts, Jarod would have seen the exertion it took them. But he didn’t take the time to look. He was entirely concentrated on the young man that still stood rigid with his back to them. He was watching the boy closely for the signs he sent out.

Jay’s shoulders were set square and Jarod could see the anger and aggravation that radiated from the young man.

After several seconds with no reaction that Carol or Marc saw, Jay scoffed and stalked out of the room. Not long after that, a door upstairs slammed shut.

Carol and Marc jumped in their chairs at the loud sound and at the anger that it communicated.

Jarod just leaned back again and pondered the situation.

When he looked back up, he found himself being watched by both Carol and Marc who gave him a curious stare.

“So, what do you say?” Carol asked, breaking the silence.

“I’d say that I think I’ll be staying here for longer than I originally thought,” Jarod replied, partly evading her question.

~~~~~~~

Dinner was tense. Jay was evading Jarod’s gaze with passion and he didn’t participate in any conversation at all.

When Carol asked him about school, he merely shrugged and gave a noncommittal grunt.

Jarod could see that Marc and Carol had a hard time fighting the urge to snap at Jay all throughout dinner. Once or twice, he put a hand on Carol’s arm to calm her down.

Jarod was putting on a light conversation, not trying to include Jay any longer after some attempts.

Jay was out of the kitchen the moment dinner was finished.

“See what he is like?” Carol asked when Jay was back in his room. She had a somewhat defeated expression on her face and her eyes conveyed the sadness she felt.

“Yes,” Jarod nodded thoughtfully.

“Why didn’t you react to him at all? And why didn’t you want us to try to get him to participate in the conversation?”

Jarod looked at the man. “Right now, he was far too angry for any conversation. At the moment, he is angry; angry at me and angry at the whole world. Because of what, I don’t know and I think that this is what I will have to find out. Getting myself into an argument with him the moment I was here was not on my list of things to do.”

Both Marc and Carol looked at him, with confusion but they didn’t argue - something Jarod was thankful for.

He again thought about just how similar Jay and he were. He knew what Jay would be capable of when he was really angry. And right now, Jay was on the verge of getting exactly that… really angry.

So Jarod had decided to back down for a while and give Jay some room. Jay had obviously reacted rather badly to his appearance and so he didn’t want to annoy him any further.

He would have to get to the base of Jay’s anger and find out what it was that made the boy so furious at the whole world.

There would be several arguments to come, that much was pretty clear to Jarod now, but he wanted to give Jay some time before those would start. That way the boy would have time to get used to the fact that Jarod would be around for some time - a fact that he was obviously angry and irritated about.

If he were to start a fight right now it would only add more anger to that layer and Jay seemed to already be at boiling point.

The more time he had to get used to Jarod’s being around, the less it would weight in this whole mess.

Or so he hoped.

Only the next few days could tell if his assumption was correct.

What he had seen this evening was promising a difficult but interesting time and possibly some rather heated arguments if Jay was really that much like him; a point he could probably count on after what he had seen.


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 5

Nightmare


Over the next few days Jay tried to stay out of Jarod’s way as much as possible and Jarod -even though grudgingly - gave the boy that room.

Carol and Marc were confused about Jarod’s behaviour but they had agreed to go along with it for the time being.

For Jarod it was easy to see that Jay was steaming about the fact that he was there, but he also saw that Jay was unwinding at least some small bit the longer Jarod stayed.

But even though Jay calmed down a bit, he was as distant as ever. He was closed up and most of the time he didn’t even acknowledge Jarod’s presence.

Jarod sometimes wondered how long this behaviour would continue. Or better yet, how long he would be able to stay calm and not blow up in the boy’s face. He knew that the young man’s behaviour hurt Carol and Marc rather badly and he was annoyed at the way Jay was continuing to move around without minding anything or anyone.

Observing Jay, it was obvious that the boy didn’t intend to change anything at all.

On the other hand, Jarod knew that one of them would have to make the first step; and this someone would most certainly be him and not Jay.

He had tried to reach out to Jay but the teen made a point of ignoring him.

Jay either ignored him or tried to push Jarod away. He did his best to hurt him with little remarks each time he spoke to Jarod. The longer the boy kept this behaviour up, the more puzzled Jarod became.

Jay didn’t let anything on about his emotional state and he didn’t give any unconscious clues as to what it was that was infuriating him. Jarod was still nearly as clueless as he had been when he had first set a foot into the house.

He was partly irritated about that, but on the other hand he knew better than most to what length Jay would go to hide something and knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Jarod could sometimes almost see the wheels turning in Jay’s head. It was then he understood that the boy was hiding as much as he could. He slowly got the impression Jay was giving him bits and pieces to confuse him; he didn’t want Jarod to find out what was going on.

The only thing that Jay didn’t calculate on was that they were so much alike.

Jay was trying to push him away; to make him leave so he would be alone again. But with each remark Jarod became more curious and adamant to find out what this was about.

Lying on his bed and staring at the hidden ceiling, Jarod chuckled silently.
Jay should know better than that. He was trying so hard to get rid of his older self that he had obviously forgotten that Jarod would see through this and not be fazed. But Jarod had to give him credit; some of his remarks were really vicious and they did hurt. The only reason Jarod hadn’t picked real fight with Jay was because he had decided to turn a deaf ear to his remarks thinking them some kind of attempt to drive Jarod out of his environment.

Once Jarod had been close to just packing his things and leaving the boy, thinking that if the young man didn’t want help than so be it. Only one thing had kept him back; the fact that he believed that Jay was in a way seeking exactly that:

Help

Someone to break through to him; someone who was not scared away by his act but tried to get through to him.

He saw through the behaviour and recognised the signs Jay sent out. Despite all his trying to push the whole world away, Jay practically screamed for help. He was screaming for someone not to turn a blind eye to his behaviour and try to draw him out of his stupor.

He knew the boy better than anyone else - at least he should; they were one and the same. Yet he couldn't wrap his mind around a reason; couldn't understand Jay's anger. The boy had a great life here with people who took good care of him and loved him. He lived a life as close to 'normal' as possible.

Jay had everything Jarod had so desperately wanted in the boy’s age and everything he had hoped for the boy when he had liberated him… and still Jay was obviously not happy.

Jarod yawned and stretched. He was tired but there were still many things going through his mind.

Suddenly, a piercing scream echoed through the otherwise silent house.

Jarod was on his feet not even a heartbeat later, racing out of his room and towards the sound. The door at the other end of the corridor opened when Jarod was already entering Jay’s bed room. Jarod saw Carol and Marc out of the corner of his eye and he waved at them to stay back. He turned briefly back towards them.

”Go back to bed and let me handle this,” he requested. Marc and Carol hesitated but Jarod shut the door before they could protest.

Everything was silent again but the boy had yet to calm down. He was still trapped in his nightmare.

Jay was trashing in his bed, kicking and trying to fend off invisible aggressors. Jarod clenched his jaw. He knew the demons Jay was fighting.

With two big strides Jarod was at Jay’s side.

When the boy whimpered once again and Jarod sat down on the bed, switching on the bedside lamp. He shook the young man gently. Jay shrieked and flinched away from his touch, still asleep.

“Jay,” Jarod called. “Jay, it’s just a nightmare. You’re ok. You’re safe,” he shook the young man’s shoulder once more, more forcefully. This time it got the desired effect.

All of a sudden Jay sat up straight in his bed. He was frantically looking around and panting heavily. Jarod touched his shoulder again, trying to help him by constructing a connection to the real world.

Jay looked up at Jarod and let out a shuddering breath. He then leaned into Jarod and let himself be comforted.

Jarod sighed and closed his arms around his younger self, hugging him tightly.

Maybe this would be a breakthrough in their relationship. Maybe he would get through to him and maybe he could help Jay now.


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 6

No getting through


The moment of peace was only short lived.

As if remembering in whose arms he was, Jay suddenly tensed. Jarod loosened his embrace in response. Jay looked up, then put his hands against Jarod’s chest and pushed him away.

Jarod tightly controlled his facial expression. He let go of Jay but stayed sitting on the bedside, much to Jay’s annoyance.

Jay straightened and crossed his hands in front of his chest. “Get out,” he hissed.

Jarod quirked an eyebrow. “Are you feeling better now?” he asked, not reacting to Jay’s request.

“I’m fine and now get out.”

Jarod tilted his head and his eyes flashed dangerously. No, he wouldn’t back away this time.

“Jay, talk to me. I’m here to help you. I am not your enemy. Tell me what this is about, what it is that is annoying you,” Jarod said.

“You are annoying me, that’s all,” Jay snapped.

Jarod bit down an angry remark. “Jay, come on. Maybe I can help you!”

“You want to help me?” Jay asked with an angry undertone.

“Of course I want to help you”, Jarod replied earnestly, looking at his clone.

“You can’t even cope with your own nightmares so how could you be able to help me with mine?” the young man growled.

Jarod was taken aback by the remark.

“Think that I don’t hear your nightmare? And don’t think that I don’t know why you are up early in the morning?”

“Yes, I have my share of nightmares. Maybe that’s why we should join forces and trust in each other,” Jarod suggested.

“Trust,” Jay mumbled and then shot Jarod another angry glance.

“Yes, trust. Let me help you,” Jarod tried again, his voice softening.

Jay shook his head and then went on angrily. “You can’t even help yourself, Jarod. But if you want to help me, you can help yourself out of my bedroom now.”

Jarod’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Jay,” he started again but the boy interrupted him sharply.

“No, Jarod. Get out!”

Jarod passively watched the boy, trying to find another way to get him to open up.

“Get out!”

“Ok, for now but we’re not through with this,” Jarod stood up and turned towards the door.

“Why don’t you just go?” Jay huffed, suddenly his voice dropped to barley more than a whisper.

“I am on my way out of your room if you hadn’t noticed,” Jarod snapped, anger welling up in him now.

Jay shook his head. “No, I mean why don’t you just leave here and go back to your pretends?”

“Sorry, bro, but that’s not gonna happen anytime soon,” Jarod replied and then left the room, firmly closing the door behind him.

Later, when he was in his room again and couldn’t find any sleep, Jarod didn’t really know why he had left at that point.

Maybe he could have got through to Jay. He sighed. But maybe his attempts would have been blocked once more. And if he was honest with himself, the second possibility seemed to be the more likely one.

And yet, maybe he should have tried.

Jarod grumbled once more and got up from his lying position. He wouldn’t get any sleep tonight so he might as well get up and walk around for a bit. Perhaps that would help to clear his mind.

He went down into the kitchen and started some coffee. It was barely after four in the morning but he didn’t care.

Going out on the front porch with his cup, he sat down on the porch swing and set it in motion with one foot. He was still angry at Jay, angry at the way he behaved and angry at the way the boy tried to push him away and time and time again succeeded in keeping him at a distance.

More than a week had already passed and he wasn’t any closer to getting through to Jay.

He hadn’t thought this would get so hard. He had been looking forward to seeing the young man again. But right now he often had to fight the urge to just hit Jay over the head. The young man was being unreasonable and stubborn.

His thoughts kept on spinning for a long time and so he nearly missed the soft squeaking of the door. Carol was joining him on the porch, walking over to where he was.

“I take it that the two of you didn’t get along.”

Jarod shrugged. “I just can’t seem to get throught to him or to get him to open up to me. He keeps on pushing me away and the problem is that he knows which points to aim at. I sometimes have to fight for my own control. I was on the verge of hitting him several times.”

“Which is not surprising considering how he’s ripping into you. I was already wondering, but you didn’t really seem impressed by his remarks at all,” Carol replied. “I have to say that you are both very good in hiding your feelings.”

“Yeah, I think we both had a lot of training,” Jarod admitted. “I just hope that I can find a way to help him. At the moment I don’t know what to do.”

“You will be able to help. I’m sure you’ll get through to him. He’s changed since you came,” Carol said.

Jarod tilted his head, looking curiously at Carol. “Changed? For the better or worse?”

“That’s what I’m still trying to sort out. He seems to be more edgy and more ready to make vicious remarks but from what I can observe, he now turns all his attention towards you and not to anyone else any longer. He seems to concentrate entirely on you,” Carol explained.

“How very nice of him,” Jarod replied sarcastically.

Carol chuckled lightly. “Yeah. Sorry but that’s what I’m seeing from a distance.”

“No, it’s good that you told me. Maybe this will help me,” Jarod said not really believing it. But anyway, what Carol had said was true. Jay seemed focussed entirely on getting his older self out of his way.

“Yes, maybe it will help,” Carol nodded and then got up from her seat. “Breakfast?”

Jarod smiled up at her. “Yes, thank you.”


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 7

A glimpse behind the smokescreen


A few more days went by but Jarod wasn’t able to get any closer to his younger twin. Jay was still closed up and very distant. He didn’t open up at all; on the contrary - after their nightly encounter Jay seemed to be more adamant than ever to get away from Jarod.

Jarod on the other hand, felt his nerves fraying by the second.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep cool for much longer. Jay’s last remarks had been hitting too close to home. On some level Jarod knew Jay was trying to protect himself by dishing out hurtful remarks but it didn’t make them any less painful.

Maybe it was time for a real confrontation… on the other hand, there was another possibility… a possibility he still shrank away from.

He could try to sim his younger self.

He knew siming him would be difficult because he was very close to him and because Jay had been able to hide so many things from him that he didn’t know if he would be able to perform a proper sim.

Yet, there were only few alternatives.

Maybe it was something he just had to do to get any closer to their problem. He should just get over with it.

Jarod breathed deeply and leaned back in the comfortable easy chair. He closed his eyes and started taking deep and calming breaths.

It took him only minutes to get through to the phase of deep concentration; years of training effectively helping him. He was in the middle of the sim when he felt rather than heard someone entering the room.

Jarod didn’t pay attention to that someone though.

Jay watched his older self’s movements, quickly recognising them. His face darkened and his eyes narrowed. “Stop siming me,” he hissed. “I don’t want you to do that!”

Jarod looked up at the angry voice and found Jay staring down at him. “Why don’t you want me to be doing it?” he asked evenly, knowing that he would provoke Jay.

He had just discovered simming wouldn’t be possible so he decided to take the other way he had refrained from until now: attack. Hopefully he would be able to provoke Jay into a fight where the boy would lose control over his calculated moves. Then maybe he would be able to get Jay to tell him more about his emotional state and what it was that had resulted in this mess.

“Why don’t I want you to do that?” Jay asked incredulously. “You are kidding, right?”

Jarod quirked an eyebrow. “No,” he said calmly.

“Because you’re invading my personal territory and I don’t want you there,” Jay snarled.

“Then give me something to work with, so I can figure out what it is that makes you that angry. Let me find another way to help you then,” Jarod said, trying to calm himself despite Jay’s words. He needed to stay focussed so that he wouldn’t lose what he wanted Jay to lose: his composure and the control over the situation.

“My God, you just don’t understand do you?”

“Understand what?”

“I don’t want your help, Jarod. In fact, I don’t want you anywhere here, anywhere near me. Just go, leave and go back to your pretends.”

Jarod shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?” Jay asked, raising his hands in exasperation.

“Not before we’ve had a long and open talk,” Jarod said evenly.

“No!” Jay screamed in frustration. He then took a deep breath. “Jarod, you can’t help me. And I don’t know if you really want to help me even though you say you do.”

Jarod’s jaw nearly hit the floor at this remark. Thoughts started racing through his head. He looked at Jay in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I want to help you? Isn’t my being here alone telling a different tale?”

“No, it isn’t. I don’t think that you would want to help me anymore than anyone else around here,” Jay said, getting more and more agitated. “No one in this twisted family is truly interested in me and no one cares about me,” Jay yelled and then stormed off angrily, leaving Jarod sitting in the living room.

Jarod watched his younger self striding out of the room, an interested expression on his face.

Moments after Jay had left Marc entered the room and walked over to where Jarod was sitting, still staring at where Jay had stormed out.

Marc sat down on the chair opposite from Jarod. “What was that?”

Jarod averted his eyes from the door and let his gaze sweep over to Marc. “I think ‘a discussion that ended in a confrontation’ would describe it best,” he replied.

Marc looked closely at Jarod, watching his face. The pretender had his expression back under control but the wheels were still turning in his head.

“Shall I go to Jay and try to talk to him?” Marc asked.

“No, you better leave him alone. He’ll either scream at you to leave or he will leave you there, running out of the room,” Jarod said.

Ever since he had arrived in this house, Jarod had seen Jay leave the room whenever he felt pressure on him. He had either left or pointedly shot at his older self to divert the attention from himself.

But what the young man had just revealed was interesting, very interesting indeed.

Jarod had been able to push him directly to where he had hoped to get him. Jay had lost his countenance and had given him a good clue as to what it was that had sent him into this detached and isolated state.

Now several things were finally making sense and suddenly a big puzzle was laying out in front of Jarod. There were still missing pieces but the picture was slowly completing itself.

“You look as if you just got a whole lot closer to Jay than it would seem to the casual observer,” Marc stated.

“You’re right. I think I just got a better view on what is going on,” Jarod nodded.

“Despite the fight?” Marc asked.

“Because of the fight. I should have tried confrontation much earlier,” Jarod said, leaving Marc puzzled. “There are still some parts missing but I think that I’m far closer to what’s going on. When did you say he started behaving this way?”

“About three months before you came,” Marc replied, frowning at the question.

Jarod merely nodded. “Three months. That’s what I thought you said,” he trailed off. “I have some things to take care of,” he got up from his seat and went out of the room.

Shortly afterwards Marc heard the front door close and then a car-engine being fired. Marc looked at the door, frowning, but then he shrugged.

Jarod and Jay were so similar. Both of them were secretive and when they had decided to do something - anything - they would do it eventually. And they would both keep it a secret until it was done, the preparations and possibly also the action.

Marc got up from his seat and walked over to the kitchen where he knew his wife was preparing dinner.

“And?” she asked when he entered the room.

“I think Jarod has an idea and that maybe he’ll get to the bottom of everything that’s going on,” Marc said. “But I don’t know anything else.”

Carol looked at her husband and gave him a wink. “He will get to the bottom of this puzzle.”

“Yes, after I saw him now, I’m sure he will. I was starting to doubt but now I’m certain that he’ll find a way. But how he’ll do it is still beyond me.”


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

Author’s Note: You think this is moving slow and it’s time to pick up the pace? Ok, I decided to speed things up soon… meaning, right now with this chapter. Nothing action packed but you’ll get behind the ‘why’.

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 8

Climbing


Jay walked behind Jarod with angry steps; even getting him that far had taken a lot of discussion and carefully concealed anger on Jarod’s side.

Jarod walked on confidently, the heavy backpack on his shoulders not slowing him down. He was looking forward to the reason why they were running around nature, even though he wasn’t particularly looking forward to the argument that would break out at last, an argument that he would force to finally get through to Jay.

He needed Jay in a position where the boy couldn’t run away any longer.

And that was exactly why they were out here “running around like headless chickens” as Jay had put it. In fact, they were not merely running around but Jarod had a definite destination; one that Jay wasn’t aware of.

Jarod could hear Jay mumbling something behind him and he rolled his eyes.

They stepped around a rock and there it was: their destination.

Jarod’s smile grew and he walked on, quickening his step a bit. They followed the small path that eventually stopped directly in front of a wall of solid rock.

“Oh great. A dead end. And where do we go now?” Jay asked tauntingly.

Jarod shrugged off his backpack and started rummaging through it. “Up there,” he answered without looking up.

“Up what?” Jay incredulously while blinking angrily at Jarod’s back.

“You heard me,” Jarod said and took some gear out of his backpack. He straightened and threw it over to Jay who caught it. “Ever been climbing before?”

Jay looked at him perplex and blinked. Then his eyes narrowed. “No, and I don’t want to try it.”

Jarod had seen the short sparkle in Jay’s eyes. “Liar,” he grinned and threw some shoes over to his young companion. “They should fit you fine. Try them.”

“I don’t want to,” Jay growled angrily.

Jarod rolled his eyes. “Then you can climb barefoot,” he shrugged. “It’s your feet that will be bleeding, not mine so I couldn’t care less.”

Jay gritted his teeth. “And what if I don’t want to climb up there?” he asked.

“Then we have a problem because I have set my mind to climbing today and I won’t leave here until I got what I wanted so if you want to go home anytime soon, I suggest that you come along,” Jarod replied evenly, not letting the boy’s behaviour get to him.

Jay grumbled but he put on the shoes Jarod had given him. “You’re wrong. They are too small,” Jay stated, his tone giving away that he was inwardly grinning about it, hoping to get out of this situation.

“Let me see,” Jarod walked over to Jay and crouched down, investigating. “No, in fact they are quite right. Climbing shoes need to be a bit too small. Only that way you have the proper grip in the wall so that you can feel your way around.”

Jay scoffed when Jarod turned back and got out his own climbing shoes and harness. Quickly putting both on, Jarod turned in time to see Jay quizzically looking at the harness he had in his hand.

Jarod grinned and then helped the boy to get into it. Afterwards he started to lay out the basic instructions and showed the knots they would have to use.

Showing him how he had to secure him, Jarod looked at Jay and saw the reluctance in the young man’s eyes as well as some hidden interest.

Jarod tied the rope to his own harness and watched Jay tying the knot and put it into his karabiner.

He turned back to the wall and then searched for his first starting point. He briefly looked over his shoulder towards his younger twin again, giving him a stare. “You won’t drop me, will you?” he questioned.

“I’m not sure about that right now!” Jay grumbled darkly.

Jarod grinned. “I think I’ll try my luck and place my life in your hands,” Jarod shrugged and then put his hand into the chalk bag on his lower back to get a better grip in the rock. After that he let his hand wander over the wall in search for a proper place to put his hand on.

Carefully picking his way up while securing the rope in the quickdraws he fastened in the bolts already firmly fixed in the stone, Jarod looked down at Jay from time to time. He wasn’t worried about the boy letting go of the rope. There might be some anger with Jay refusing to come up but the boy wouldn’t intentionally hurt or kill him by letting go of the rope.

By now, Jarod was thoroughly enjoying the trip and enjoying the possibility of this workout. He hadn’t been climbing in a long time even though he had always liked it. When he had been climbing for the first time, he had been instantly mesmerised by the sport. It was a great workout, for one’s mind and one’s body.

He particularly liked it because one had no real time to concentrate on one’s situation away from the wall you were climbing at that time. You couldn’t afford to keep thinking about daily life and your problems in it. You needed all your concentration on the wall; where you could put your hand and foot next, if there was enough room for your hand at that spot, if you could put enough power on that hand so that you would be able to draw yourself up and you also had to pay attention to clip the rope into the quickdraw so that you would be secure.

He drew himself up on a small ledge and sat down. Wiping the sweat away from his bow with one arm, he then secured himself on the metal ring that was let into the wall there.

“Ok, Jay. I’m secure,” he called loudly and looked down to where the young man was standing on the ground.

“Ok, you’re up there now. You’ve had your way. You can come down now so that we can go home,” Jay called back.

Jarod rolled his eyes and yelled down loudly for Jay to hear: “No, now first you put the backpack on the rope I’ll let down so that I can draw it up and then you get your ass up here.”

He could practically see the boy’s level of anger rise. “I could just release myself and go now. You’re up there and you couldn’t do a thing.”

‘God that boy sure is stubborn,’ Jarod thought. “You’re wrong. I would abseil alone. I have the proper gear here with me and once I was down there I would go after you and you would get into serious trouble. And by the way, I have the car keys,” Jarod shouted, seeing Jay tense at that even from the height he was on.

With angry movements, Jay bound the backpack to the rope that Jarod had by now let down and Jarod drew it up so that it was sitting next to him on the ledge.

“Ok, where do I start that now?” Jay hollered up, realizing that he wouldn’t get away from this.

Jarod grinned widely and then looked down once more. “You don’t have to ask me that. It’s up to you. You have to pick your own route. You don’t have to mimic my moves and try to do everything I do the same way I do it. This is just about you and your own abilities. You have to pick your own way but you have to pick it carefully,” Jarod said, wondering if Jay would get the double meaning behind his words.

The young man moved with difficulties at first but soon he got used to the feeling and quickly found the best places to put his hands and feet.

Jarod nodded approvingly from above, watching his young companion. Whenever Jarod got a glimpse of Jay’s face, it was glowing with concentration, determination and something that Jarod hadn’t seen there before: contentment.

Once up, Jay sat down next to Jarod and looked down.

“Wow,” he let out.

Jarod grinned but kept silent.

They were both sitting in companionable silence just looking at the beautiful nature around them.

“And now?” Jay asked after a while.

“Now we talk,” Jarod replied evenly without looking at his young twin.

Jay tensed and looked around. He clenched his teeth and realized that he would have nowhere to run to now.

“No, we don’t,” he said.

“Why not?” Jarod asked plainly.

“Because I don’t want to,” Jay replied.

“Doesn’t count,” Jarod shrugged. “I want to get some answers now.”

“You always want answers and yet you’re never getting them; not from the Centre and not from me,” Jay snapped.

Jarod swallowed down a vicious response. “Come on, Jay. Open up to me,” he said instead.

“No,” Jay hissed through clenched teeth.

Jarod sighed. “I really don’t get it. I don’t understand what is going on here. What has made you change from a nice, young and caring boy into this isolated, destructive shell?”

“You don’t know a damn thing about me so don’t even try to judge me,” Jay snapped.

“Ok, I don’t know much about you but all I saw during the last two few weeks was what I just described: an isolated, destructive shell. What changed you, Jay?” Jarod questioned, turning towards the young man.

“Nothing.”

“Ok, I’ll make a few guesses here,” Jarod paused momentarily. “Marc told me that your behaviour changed three months before I came. So that means it’s now a little more than three and a half months. Let me think. Three and a half months… that’s pretty much the same point of time when we rescued Emily and found Ethan,” Jarod let the words hang in the air.

Jay gasped and Jarod had to keep from smiling. So this was really it. He had hoped that it would be it because otherwise he would have had no idea how to move on; he would have been fishing in dark waters.

“From the way you are behaving, it’s obvious that you’re running and trying desperately to get some attention,” Jarod went on.

Jay lowered his head.

“And from the remarks you were throwing at me yesterday, I would say that you’re trying to fight against demons that don’t exist,” Jarod sighed. “You feel left out and alone in this world, am I right?”

“These demons, as you put it, do exist!” Jay mumbled.

“No, they don’t, Jay!” Jarod said emphatically. He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, only to have it shrugged off immediately.

“Yes, they do. No one cares about me; about what I feel,” he whispered, his head turned downward.

“Jay, that’s not true,” Jarod said.

“Then why am I here rather than together with Dad and Emily? Why didn’t he pay attention when I asked him - no begged him - to take me with him rather than leave me here with Marc and Carol?” the boy accused.

Jarod briefly closed his eyes, grateful that Jay was finally talking; snarling at the wrong shadows but talking nonetheless.

“Jay, listen to me. You’re here with Carol and Marc because Dad felt you would be safe here. He didn’t want you to be on the run as well,” Jarod explained.

“I know that,” Jay replied and then looked up at Jarod. “But I didn’t want to leave him. I understood that it was a temporary thing and eventually I agreed but…,” he trailed of and looked away.

“But then we rescued Emily and she was allowed to stay with Dad and you weren’t. You got the feeling that you were less worthy of staying with him than Emily was,” Jarod finished for him.

Jay nodded brokenly.

“Do you know why I am here rather than Dad?” Jarod asked.

Jay merely shook his head.

“Because ever since we found Emily, the Centre has been close on their heels. Dad didn’t want you to get in any danger so he keeps staying as far away from here as possible. He’s afraid that something might happen to you,” Jarod paused again and put his hand on Jay’s shoulder once more. This time it stayed where it was. “You’re important to us, Jay. You really are. You are an important member of our family that needs to be protected just as every other member. That’s why you’re here, safe and away from the Centre’s view.”

Jay looked up, tears shining in his eyes but still not believing the words.

“Oh, Jay,” Jarod choked out at the expression on the young man’s face. “You’re important to all of us; you are important to me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t. You did a hell of a good job in dishing out those snide remarks and had I not cared about you, I would have been long gone by now and not sitting up here with you trying to reassure you and scare your fears away.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Jay admitted.

Jarod shook his head sadly. “Place some trust in us. Even though Dad maybe should have taken you with him, he tried to do what he thought best.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” Jay countered softly.

“Yes, that’s right but don’t you think it really depends on the motive here?” Jarod asked. “We’ve all been through a lot, together and mostly apart. Dad’s worried about each and every member of our family, just as everyone else is and he wanted you safe and out of harms way. He was not trying to get rid of you, rather to know that you were safe and somewhere he could come and get you from when the time came.”

“Why did you only come now?” Jay asked. A tear was making its way down the boy’s cheek.

Jarod closed his eyes. “I had lost contact with Dad after Emily’s rescue and I didn’t know where you were. I only found out because Dad called me two days before I got here and asked me to see you. He told me that he couldn’t do it and of course I agreed to come here.”

“You went away from an important pretend?” Jay asked.

“I didn’t have one but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have left the moment the call came. As I said Jay, you are important to me. I do care about you. I care deeply about you,” he searched Jay’s gaze and held it. He saw another doubt in those pools of dark brown and he made a last guess at what that doubt was about.

“You’re no copy of me and I don’t see you as one, Jay. As I said before, you’re an important part of our family. Even though you’re me genetically, you aren’t me at all. You have a whole bunch of different possibilities out here and I know that you will use them. Jay, I don’t see you as a copy from me. I can’t really describe the feelings that I have for you. I think they are something between parental and brotherly feelings but I know what they not are: refusal and rejection. I don’t ever want you to think that,” Jarod said soulfully.

Jay searched his older self’s eyes for any hint of dishonesty but found none. He nodded his head slowly.

Jarod reached out and put his hands on both sides of Jay’s face, gently holding it there, making sure that the boy was looking at him. “You should stop seeing yourself as me, trying to calculate every step I would make and then making it yourself or doing the complete opposite. That’s not what you are, Jay. You will have to live your own life. You can always ask for help and let me show you a way or even guide you but you will have to pick your own way in the end. You will have to make your own mistakes; mistakes I have never been allowed to make. I don’t want you to become an isolated person just as you were trying to become. You are in the real world now and not in the Centre. You have every possibility out here and you of all people have the chance to reach out for whatever you want to do. Take that chance, Jay.”

Jay looked away from Jarod and straight ahead again, watching nature around them.

Jarod fell silent, knowing that he had given the young man quite a lot to digest.


To be continued…

#sighs contently# How about you? You liked it?
Well, right now after reading the whole chapter again before posting in, I really realized that I haven’t been climbing in AGES! I will have to do something against that #runs away, trying to call her climbing partner#

Disclaimer: see part one

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 9

An extended stay


They had been sitting there on the ledge, side by side, for over an hour without anyone speaking and hardly moving when Jay finally looked up.

He was watching Jarod from the side. Jarod was aware of it but he chose to ignore it as long as Jay didn’t say anything.

The boy breathed deeply. “It’s really sad that we’ll have to go soon and that we can’t stay out here overnight,” he said regretfully.

Jarod looked at him. “We can, but I suggest we move up a bit further because there’s a small cave up there that provides more space,” he replied.

Jay looked at him in bewilderment. “It will get rather cold tonight.”

Jarod pattered the bag that was sitting besides him and grinned. “Also not a problem. I have two sleeping bags here.”

Jay just gaped at him. After a few moments he recovered. “You planned this rather thoughtfully, didn’t you?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did,” Jarod grinned openly.

Jay nodded. “Wait, how do you know that there is a cave up there? You didn’t come here yesterday to check it out, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Jarod chuckled. “I have already been here before. About two and a half years ago I came here with a friend of mine and we went climbing. We didn’t need the cave back then but it stuck me as useful,” he paused. “It turns out that I was right with that.”

Jay grinned. “Yes, it looks like it. How far up is that?”

“About another ten or fifteen meters. I don’t really remember,” Jarod replied thoughtfully.

Jay nodded. “Ok.”

Jarod looked at his young companion and saw something in the boy’s eyes; a question was lingering at the edge of Jay’s mind. He didn’t press but waited for Jay to speak up.

“How about… I mean… maybe,” Jay stuttered.

“What?” Jarod asked, grinning.

“Could I try to lead?” Jay asked carefully.

Jarod quirked an eyebrow. “You think you could handle it? Do you feel safe enough to do it?”

Jay nodded slowly. “Do you think I will be able to do that?”

Jarod shrugged. “From what I saw earlier, you got a good grip in the wall. You made some real good moves even when you had gotten yourself into difficult positions. If you want to try,” he held up his hands, indicating that he wouldn’t hold Jay back.

Jay’s face lit up. “I would like to.”

“Ok. There’s not much that could happen if you stick to some basics. If you lose your footage and fall, your fall will - of course - be stopped by the rope but you might fall a short distance contrary to when you go second,” Jarod explained.

Jay nodded once more. “Ok.”

“You will have to pay attention to what you are doing more than before when you followed me but you will see that for yourself in the wall. It’s a different climb; you are more alert because the danger of falling is more immanent. At least that’s what I experienced,” Jarod told him.

Jay listened closely and waited for Jarod to go on.

“I will give you some more quickdraws. You will have to put them into the rings that are already fastened in the rock like you saw me doing it. You need to pay attention to how you put them into the wall,” Jarod said earnestly. He continued explaining some more basic rules to Jay so that the young man would be safe.

After a while, Jarod stopped and smiled at Jay. “Still interested in leading?”

“Yes,” Jay said, though slightly less enthusiastic than before.

Jarod smiled. “You’ll do just fine. Just pay attention to what you’re doing. Once you’re up onto the next ledge, secure yourself with another quickdraw in the bolt there and let me follow, ok?”

“Ok,” Jay nodded again and then looked up the wall that was going straight up from where they were.

“And keep remembering the way you put the rope into the quickdraws. Always coming from beyond you directly on the wall and then into the quickdraw and leading towards you.”

Jay looked over his shoulder at his older self… no brother, he corrected himself, and nodded again.

“Well then, up you go,” Jarod encouraged him, smiling.

It was indeed as Jarod had said, Jay decided while climbing. This was a lot more intense than following someone else up. When leading, you tried every stand and every crack more than once to make sure it was safe to put your hand or foot there. It was always a bit of a gamble to see if you were good enough to put your next move on that point and one felt the risk breathing down your neck more intensely once you were leading even though you were safely secured on the rope.

Once up on the ledge, he clipped himself into the metal ring that was bolted into the rock there and then he called down to Jarod. “Ok, I’m up. You can follow now.”

This time he watched Jarod climbing from above and once more he was fascinated by the man’s elegant and careful movements. His brother knew exactly where he could put his hand and what he would be able to manage. He radiated with a certainty and self-confidence and Jay found himself envying him.

He tried to shake that feeling but it stayed.

Jarod hoisted himself up on the ledge next to Jay and leaned back slightly to secure himself into the ring as well.

“Well done, Jay,” he nodded approvingly.

“Hmm,” Jay replied distractedly.

“What is it?” Jarod asked in a tone that showed that he didn’t want any excuses.

Jay huffed. “It’s just that I can’t help envying your movements.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Jarod asked incredulously.

Jay shook his head, his eyes cast downward. “No, it just looks so graceful when you’re climbing. It’s like you know exactly where to put your next move.”

“Oh, come on Jay. You can’t possibly be envious of me. I have a whole lot more experience than you. You’ve been climbing for the first time today so it’s normal that you’re still searching for the right balance from time to time. Don’t think I started the way I’m able to climb now. Believe me; I’ve had my share of misjudging and placing my trust into the wrong stones. And it’s not like I know where to put my hands before feeling the wall,” he looked at his young companion closely. “I also have to search for the right place to put my next move onto and I have to feel my way around. True, I might be faster than you at the moment but don’t think that it will stay that way. You have talent and if you start doing this more often, you will soon be just as fast as I am. You just mustn’t forget that this is the first time you went climbing. Got it?”

Jay smiled. “Yes, you’re right…,” he sighed. “It just looks so… easy.”

Jarod grinned and shook his head. “Wait until you’ve been climbing a bit more often and then you won’t complain. You’ll beat me in lengths there.”

“Would you… I mean,” he broke of and then started once more. “Would you mind if we went climbing every once in a while?”

Jarod chuckled. “Not at all!”

“That’s great,” Jay replied, a wide grin spreading on his face.

“Ok, how about we get the sleeping bags out and get ourselves stationed,” Jarod suggested.

Jay nodded but then he stopped in his tracks. “What about Marc and Carol? Won’t they be worried?”

“No, they won’t. They know that we might stay away over night,” Jarod informed his young brother.

“You really planned this,” Jay grumbled half-heartedly.

“Only prepared for every possibility,” Jarod countered. They both chuckled heartily and Jay found himself thoroughly enjoying this adventure with his older self… brother. He shook his head and rolled his eyes slightly.

“What?” Jarod grinned when he saw that movement.

“It’s just… I start trying to see you as my brother rather than my older self,” Jay admitted.

Jarod grinned. “Not that easy at first but you will get used to it.”

Jay looked at him closely. “It took you some time as well?”

“Certainly,” Jarod nodded vigorously. “And I didn’t even have you around at that time.”

Jay nodded slowly. “What do we do until it’s dark?”

Jarod pursed his lips. “How about we do a little more climbing? We can leave the things here. There is no way anyone will get up here without climbing and it’s already a bit too late to starting a climbing trip for the day,” they both got up from the floor. “Oh, and we should get ourselves some wood for a little fire, I don’t have that in the bag,” he grinned.

“You can’t conjure it up out of your bag?” Jay bantered back, grinning widely as well.

Jarod looked over to where his bag stood and pretended to think about it for a moment, then he turned back and started to say “yes” when he closed his mouth again. “No,” he huffed theatrically. “No, I don’t think I could.”

Jay laughed openly.

“You know, that’s better,” Jarod grinned and went on explaining what he meant when Jay tilted his head to the side in the same questioning gesture Jarod often did himself, “seeing you laugh and seeing you open up again.”

Jay paused shortly but then he nodded. “I’m glad that you didn’t give up on me. I don’t think that I would have gotten out of that one alone.”

“Maybe, maybe not, but that’s a what-if-case. You’re here now and we are having great fun,” Jarod replied and drew Jay over to him and into a hug. Jay relaxed into the welcoming arms of his big brother. He sighed deeply and leaned his head against Jarod’s shoulder. Jarod rocked them both lightly and put his chin on the boy’s head, finally allowing himself to relax further.

They both retreated reluctantly.

“How about we go climbing now?” Jarod suggested finally.

“Yeah,” Jay breathed deeply. “Thank you, Jarod,” he then added.

“You’re welcome,” Jarod said earnestly. “Come on now.”

~~~~~~~

They went climbing for another three hours in which they succeeded to triumph over some rather difficult routes. When they finally returned to their camp, they were tired both due to the physical - as well as the psychological - strain, so they decided to go to sleep rather early.

Jay was asleep in a matter of minutes, making Jarod smile when he looked over to his young companion.

Even though Jarod was tired, he couldn’t find sleep, so he just let his mind wander.

He silently sighed when he reviewed the events that had occurred that day, the problems they had come here with and the contempt and harmony they had found later.

He was glad that he had finally sought out a confrontation with his brother but even though it had taken him a long time to figure out what Jay’s problems had been, he didn’t want to miss one second he had spent with his younger brother.

Ok, Jay’s words had not always been easy to take, yet they had brought them to where they were now. He had come to see two different, nearly completely contrarian personas in the young man that was his brother; for once strong, independent and then the fragile and dependant character.

Jarod closed his eyes. The climbing tour had been great. Jay had changed during their adventure. What Jarod had seen when Jay had first been in the wall, the contentment in the young man’s eyes had multiplied after their argument. Jay didn’t have to hide his obvious liking in the sport any longer and he showed it openly to Jarod. He easily accepted tips where he could set his foot or hand from his brother and his eyes glowed with a sparkle that hadn’t been there before.

Jarod opened his eyes again when he heard soft sounds coming from where Jay was sleeping.
The boy was trashing around in his sleep, mumbling softly.

Jarod untangled himself from his sleeping bag and crawled over to where the boy was lying.

When Jarod approached him, he could hear the young man’s pleas. “No, please no. Stop. I don’t want that, please, no,” he moved his head from one side to the other in rapid speed and he tried to move his hands as well but in the confined space of the sleeping bag, he didn’t have room to move them. Even though Jarod tried not to, he could easily imagine it only raising the level of the young man’s fear and nightmare.

He quickly closed the remaining distance and then shook Jay’s shoulder rather harshly to get him out of his nightmare as soon as possible. “Jay,” he called out while shaking the young man’s shoulder.

Jay’s head jerked up and, still somewhere between sleep and consciousness, he tried to break free from his dream and tried to move his hands, only to find them restrained in the sleeping bag. He fought against the inhuman force that held him tied while Jarod tried to break through to him.

“Hey, Jay, it’s a nightmare. Come on out of it. You’re safe. I’ve got you,” Jarod tried to get his brother’s attention.

Jay’s eyes flew over to Jarod and after a heartbeat or two, realisation hit in. “Jarod?”

Jarod nodded and zipped the sleeping bag open to make it possible for Jay to move his hands freely. Jay was still shaken and had not completely withdrawn out of the nightmare. Once he felt the fresh air on his arms, he shivered. A sob escaped him and he threw himself at Jarod, who embraced his distraught brother firmly.

“It’s ok. I’ve got you now. You are safe. I’ve got you,” Jarod mumbled into the boy’s hair, drawing him close to his body.

Jay clung to his older brother, listening to the soothing words as well as to his brother’s heartbeat, letting himself be calmed down by both. Slowly getting his breathing back under control, Jay wondered how he had been able to get through his nightmares alone, or how he had been able to send anyone who tried to comfort him away. Marc and Carol had often rushed into his room in the middle of the night and at first he had gladly welcomed their presence but at the same time everything had changed, he had forced Carol and Marc away in the night.

Jarod kept on mumbling soothing words to Jay.

Jay let out a shuddering breath, glad that Jarod was here and that he didn’t have to go through this nightmare and its effects alone.

Jarod drew back a bit but Jay kept a firm grasp on his older brother.

”No, stay please,” he whimpered.

“Hush, I’m not going anywhere,” Jarod mumbled soothingly and increased his grip on his brother once more. He stroked Jay’s back in soothing motions as well. “Hey, my boy,” Jarod whispered after some more time. “Let me get up for a second. I’ll get my sleeping bag over here. I will stay with you, ok?”

Jay nodded hesitantly against Jarod’s broad chest and he let go of his brother even more hesitatingly.

Jarod quickly strode over to his own bag and got all his things together. In a matter of seconds, he was back at Jay’s side. He slid into his own sleeping bag but then halted in his motions. “Jay, we can join the two sleeping bags if you want to,” Jarod half asked, half stated.

He knew from his own experience, from being a child and a grown adult, that physical contact could sometimes work wonders in pulling someone out of a nightmare and back into the reality. And Jarod saw just as well, that Jay was still deeply immersed in the effects of his nightmare. It still scared the hell out of him.

Jay nodded weakly.

When Jarod had zipped the bags together, he drew the boy into a tight embrace. Jay put his head on Jarod’s chest once more and he finally started to breathe easier.

“That’s it, Jay. You’ll be fine. I’m right here next to you,” Jarod soothed once more.

Jarod knew that he couldn’t shield the boy from the world or from these nightmares but he could at least protect him from being alone and having to cope with his nightmares alone.

And that was more than he’d once had.

It took Jay a long time to calm down completely and even longer to fall asleep again.

Jarod struggled to keep his eyes open, dozing off from time to time. Even though he succumbed to slumber every now and then, he kept a grasp on Jay. The boy had calmed down and he obviously didn’t need any more reassurance than Jarod’s presence besides him.

Finally they both dozed off to sleep for real.


To be continued…

Disclaimer: see part one

Author’s Note: Thanks first to Blade who betaed this story (I still hope you’ll keep doing the follow up). Oh and special thanks for this chappy and the laughs we shared. ;)

~~~~~~~

Smokescreen
Part 10

Back again


Jarod was the first to wake up.

He rolled his head slightly and then opened his eyes. He had slept peacefully and he grinned at that. He nearly always slept without nightmares interrupting his slumber when he was outside.

Stretching, he looked at the boy still pressed to his side.

He knew that they must give a slightly strange picture. A grown man and a teenager, sleeping in two zipped-together sleeping bags.

Most teens at Jay’s age would scream at their parents for even trying to come that close to them, but then again, Jay was no normal teen. He had lived through an ordeal most of his life, and after that he had subjected himself to another when he thought no one cared about him.

Jay had tried to block out the pain this thought made by pushing everyone away and trying to pretend that he didn’t care either.

Jarod breathed deeply and shook his head sadly.

Hopefully Jay knew now that he was loved dearly and that he didn’t need to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.

The boy stirred at his side, making Jarod snap out of his thoughts.

A few minutes later, Jay rolled his head away from Jarod’s chest and he looked around.

Jarod grinned down at him when Jay’s gaze locked with his.

“Morning,” Jarod greeted.

Jay closed his eyes briefly again. “Hi,” he mumbled back, still sleepy.

Jarod carefully entangled himself from the young man and zipped the sleeping bag open to get up.

Jay watched him but did nothing to stop his brother. “What time is it?”

“About seven o’clock,” Jarod answered while stretching.

Jay merely nodded, started to get up as well, but stopped short in his tracks and groaned.

Jarod quirked an eyebrow at his younger brother. “What is it?”

Jay carefully moved his shoulder and groaned once more. Jarod started chuckling when he saw the pained expression on Jay’s face and he started to comprehend what had made that expression appear.

“Aching muscles? I told you not to overdo it yesterday, didn’t I?” Jarod grinned.

“Yes, you did, but it was so much fun,” Jay replied through clenched teeth.

“Ok, let’s breakfast and then put our stuff together. After that we will see that we get you back down to solid ground safely,” Jarod snickered.

“Very funny,” Jay growled but it was more in amusement than aggravation.

Nearly four hours later they were back in the car. Descending had taken some time. They could have been faster but they both wanted to enjoy nature for as long as they could.

Jay sat next to his brother, relaxing back in his seat.

They were driving in companionable silence, both lost in their own memories, partly from their trip and partly occupied with other memories as well.

“We’ll be home soon,” Jarod announced sometime during their trip

Jay nodded. “Hmm,” he mumbled.

The car fell back into silence.

“How are your muscles?” Jarod asked after some more silent miles.

“Tense and sore but I will feel better tomorrow,” Jay replied.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Without wanting to take your illusions away; normally aching muscles start acting up especially on the second day,” Jarod said.

“Thanks,” Jay looked to his brother and rolled his eyes, making them both chuckle.

Shortly afterwards, Jarod steered the car into the driveway of Marc’s and Carol’s home. They both got out slowly and started unloading the car together.

Jarod took his backpack and Jay took some of his things as well. They both went up the stairs. Before one of them could get out the keys, the door opened.

“Come on in, you two,” Carol greeted warmly and stepped aside. “I saw you walking up with all that gear and thought you might need someone to open the door.”

“Yes, thank you Carol,” Jarod replied. He put a hand on Jay’s shoulder and pushed his brother gently forward.

Jarod and Jay put their baggage down in the den and followed Carol into the living room.

Jarod sniffed. “Something smells good.”

Jay inhaled deeply as well and then his face lit up. “Carol’s making pie, right?” he turned towards the woman with expectant eyes.

When Carol saw the expression on Jay’s face, she breathed deeply and looked over to Marc to see if he had seen it as well. He had, the relieved expression being proof. She turned back to Jay. “Yes, Jay. You’re right. Just about half an hour and then the pie will be ready.”

“Great,” Jay smiled widely and turned to Jarod. “Carol’s pie is the best you’ll ever get,” he announced excitedly.

Carol and Marc exchanged another relieved glance. Jay’s face was lacking the reserved and guarded expression that he had worn for the last few months. The lovable and refreshing individual they both had come to miss was back in its place.

“Come on, Jay, how about we both take a shower now, or better yet, you could take a bath. That’ll help your aching muscles,” Jarod grinned and steered Jay towards the door.

Jay let his brother push him in front without hesitation.

Somewhere on the way, Jarod looked back over is shoulder and winked at Carol and Marc, making them smile.

~~~~~~~

An hour later, they were all back in the living room, eating the pie Carol had made and listening to Jay’s excited words about their trip.

Jarod was relaxing in the easy chair and savouring the taste of Carol’s pie. Jay had been right: the pie was really extraordinary good. He closed his eyes briefly when he put another bite of it in his mouth.

Suddenly he heard the others chuckle in the room and he opened his eyes questioningly. “What?” he looked at the smiling faces that were turned towards him.

“You look pleased with yourself and very content,” Marc stated.

“I am,” Jarod replied smugly, another piece of his pie vanishing in his mouth, making the others chuckle again.

“You have the same expression on your face that Jay had when he first tasted my pie,” Carol grinned.

Jarod looked over to his ‘brother’. “We are very much alike,” he replied easily and Jay winked at him.



The End!


… ok, and as I said the prelude to another story. There will be a sequel called: “Starting Anew”.

Oh and for all of you who have been on my heels for not including Miss Parker into this story, rest reassured that she will have a rather big part in the follow-up!

And on to the sequel:
Sequel: Starting Anew