Musing on what Parkers justifications were for walking away from Jarod on Carthis.
Late night at night in a snowstorm does strange things to my muse :)
This is me pondering the why Parker walked away from what Jarod was offering her.
Its the sound of the sleet spitting on the windows, that bought that particular memory to mind.
It's his eyes, always his eyes. Wide deep pools pulling me in, threatening to drown me forever in their adoring depths. And I resist, I always do. I have to.
Otherwise I would have to admit truths to myself I have worked my entire life to deny, to hide, to defend against. The truth of him and how I feel. How I have always felt. And the truth he cannot see, that we can never be what we are to each other. It would never be allowed, we would never survive it.
And so I resist, I fight, I deny.
And I hurt, I tear inside and I cry where no one can ever hear it.
Because if I let go, just once. If I take what those eyes offer me, if I fall into those endless depths, he will be there to catch me.
I can never allow it.
For his sake.
He will never understand.
It is the only gift I can ever give him
Bought to you by the following pieces of music:
The Funeral - Firefly Soundtrack
Legacy Of Comfort - Medieval Babes Elizabeth Soundtrack
The Last Dance - Within Temptation