Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story are fictitious, and any similarity to a real person, living or dead is entirely coincidental and unintended by the author. "The Pretender" is a protected trademark.

The case of the missing Dog

By

Whashaza


Behind door number one…

Jarod brought the car to a halt by the side of the road. When he saw the person who stood and waited for him, he nearly decided to continue on his journey. He had received an email alert yesterday and had decided to investigate the source. Now he whished that he had left things be.

“J-man, it’s so good to see you.”

Argyle didn’t wait for an invitation. His first step had been to jump into the car when Jarod had stopped, his second to buckle the seatbelt.

“Argyle, long time, no see.” If only that had been true. “So, what is the great emergency that had me drive halfway across the state to answer?”

“It’s Dog. He’s been dog-napped. We have to go rescue him.”

Jarod could only stare. “Argyle, how sure are you about Dog being…dog-napped.” Sometimes it was just easier to speak Argyle to Argyle. Otherwise misunderstandings could occur.

“Oh, very. You see, on account of Dog being on TV and all. He’s famous.”

Time slowed down for Jarod. Dog, famous? Argyle? All these didn’t seem to connect. “Come again,” was all he managed, still trying to imagine Dog on TV.

“Oh, the story. Right, well, a while ago, I was walking Dog down his usual route. He has the route that he likes to take, and well there was this lady that walked her dog, and well Dog liked her dog, so he went over to say hi…well sort of. Actually, I think her dog was on heat, and well you see, um, Dog decided to follow his…instincts. But this dog, not Dog but her dog, she did commercials, and with her being pregnant and all, they decided to use Dog.”

Jarod listened in disbelief to the unfolding of Dog’s rise to fame. How things managed to happen to Argyle was something that defied natural laws. He decided to interject, wanting to bring the story to a semblance of order.

“Argyle, besides getting the other…dog pregnant, how did Dog get to be…” he decided to go the easy route, “on TV.”

“Well, the thing is, this lady liked Dog and Dog liked her. She gave him some food and he liked the food and she said that they needed a dog that liked the food to show other dogs that it is good food.”

What Jarod could determine from the convoluted tale was that most likely Dog was the only dog that ate the pet food and the producers being desperate decided to use Dog for the commercial. Being Argyle, he asked his next question with trepidation.

“What payment did you get for Dog to be on TV?”

“A year’s supply of pet food,” came proudly. Jarod sighed inwardly. Not only is Dog missing but his owner had no money to pay for his safe return except a year’s supply of pet food. He felt sorry for Argyle but besides that, nothing was ever boring with him around. He was brought back to reality when Argyle continued with his deductive powers of reasoning.

“See, I thought, Argyle, I thought, J-man is the guy who will figure it all out. You see, cause Dog saved his life and all, it’s only right.”

“And if memory serves me correct, you then tried to sell me back to the Centre.”

“That’s just wrong, man. One mistake and you hear it over and over. I thought that we were past all that, J-man. It was one moment of weakness, one moment of …”

“Argyle,” he decided to interject, before the other got too carried away, “have you received a ransom note.”

“A what?”

“Did anyone contact you, phone you or leave you a letter asking for money?” or pet food, he thought silently.

“No J-man, I’ve been waiting here for you.”

Jarod started the car, hoping to keep his sanity. “Where are you staying?”
He drove five hundred meters further down the road before turning into an old farmhouse.

“I look after this place. Maybe, one day I can be a farmer. I can be a farmer, can’t I, J-man, yeah, I can be a farmer. Planting stuff and growing stuff. Make good for me and Dog.”

Jarod got out the car and looked around. Nothing met his eyes besides scrub and a log house that looked almost done for. He followed Argyle inside, tuning out the other’s voice while trying to figure a way out of this with Dog intact.

“Argyle, how long has Dog been missing?”

“Since yesterday.”

“Argyle, are you sure Dog hasn’t gone…” not sure how to put it, he finally found the word he wanted to use, “visiting?”

“No, he’s always with me. The thing is, we went walking yesterday, he usual route and there was this lady and I was a bit distracted and when I looked down, Dog was gone. Just like Elvis. You don’t think Elvis has him, maybe.”

Jarod shook his head, keeping a straight face. “Maybe its best if you show me the route you normally walk, that way we can see where we can start from.”

As he started after the still talking Argyle, explaining the reasons why Elvis would want to have dog, he wondered what Miss Parker would have done with Argyle and Dog. Then again, she would have more than likely shot them both. Deciding that going down that route could bode ill will for the pair, he turned his thoughts back to Argyle, his route and missing Dog.

________________________________________

Miss Parker turned and growled, “I’m going to kill him.” She refused to look at Sydney and Broots, instead focusing on the walls and finding a way out.

“Miss Parker, there is no other way. You have to do it,” Sydney tried to reason, holding her costume out to her.

“I’ll be damned if I’ll play Jarod’s tune.”

“We’re not going anywhere until we do. You know how he operates.”

She turned to Sydney and grabbed the costume out his hand. She silently dared them to say anything while she slipped her feet into the oversized feet. “Not one word.” She warned, when she pulled the zip tight. She thought she caught a snigger from Broots but when she looked he was staring at his shoes.

“The mask too, Parker.”

“If one word of this gets back to the Centre, I will shoot the one who said anything,” she warned once again, before slipping the mask on. It itched and didn’t help to lower her blood pressure. She had her script memorized and watched Sydney in his costume turn to the TV monitor that had a smiling Jarod on it.
The only costume accessory that Sydney wore was a mask. The rest of the clothes were his, but considering who Sydney represented, it wasn’t to far from the truth. He held in his hands a note that Broots had hastily scribbled as Jarod had read it. She heard him clear his throat before reading the words she now knew had to be said by him.

“My name is Geppetto. Hereby I search entry into the Castle.”

Next was Broots. All he needed to add was an oversized jacket and a hat. ‘Life is not fair,’ she thought as Broots turned and spoke his words.

“My name is Inspector Gadget. Hereby I search entry into the Castle.”

All that was left was her words. Swearing to slowly kill Jarod when she caught him, she heard her words reflect from the mask she wore.

“Dammit, I’m not doing this!”

“Parker,” came Sydney’s stern reply.

“My name is Coyote. Hereby I search entry into the Castle.” She mumbled the words under duress and vowed to grab Jarod by the particulars and squeeze hard the next time she sees him.

And with her final words, the electronic lock disengaged. Her senses were assaulted by an electronic version of - It’s a small world after all… Singing puppets stood next to a marked pathway and as she stepped into the room, her one thought was that she was definitely in hell. There was no doubt in her mind anymore.

________________________________________

I’m having fun, although I don’t know whether I had failed in my attempt at bringing something lighter back. Let me know if I should continue…

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Don’t expect much of a plot; this is just an exercise in comedy. I wanted to write something that will make me and others smile. The whole idea around MP and crew is to see how far I can push the envelope in terms of what she as a character will do in order to catch Jarod and of course, how far Jarod will go in order to annoy her. (Just a warning, maybe things will get really weird – I like Terry Pratchett – if my humor is anything to go by) ;-) P.S. For those aussies out there, read The Last Continent and you’d understand what I mean. And if you want, drop me a mail to discuss it… ;-)

So, for now, don’t expect Jarod and MP’s story to intertwine…BUT, who knows, maybe Dog will sniff the trio out and bring with him Jarod and Argyle. Mmm…in any case, hope you have fun reading this, it is not meant to by anything more than that.

Behind door number 2…


Jarod stood with Argyle by a lamppost on the corner of a street. Argyle was still using his deductive powers to explain the mystery away of why Dog had disappeared. He had no idea how Argyle’s brain worked and Jarod mused that it would take a team of specialists years to figure out. What normally constituted as logic just never seemed to surface with Argyle. The way he jumped from one idea to the next defied any deductive reasoning.

“Argyle, show to me exactly what you did,” Jarod interrupted just as Argyle was about to explain why aliens would want to abduct Dog.

“Oh, right, well,” Jarod watched as Argyle moved backwards ten steps. Then Argyle closed his eyes and breathed deep. Jarod stood and stared, wondering what the man is going to do next.

Then Argyle began, “Imagine Dog next to me, can you pretend that you’re seeing Dog, J-man?” Jarod nodded, not wanting to spoil the other’s moment. He was after all a pretender. Argyle cleared his throat, convinced that Jarod could now envision Dog walking next to him. He started a bold swagger, as he walked towards where Jarod stood.

“Here I was, walking and,” Argyle stood still, his hand next to his ear as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. Pointing to the right, he said, “over there were some guys that listened to some loud music, hip-huff or whatever they call the stuff, not like Elvis or Brown, not the same style…”

“Argyle…”

“Oh right, sorry J-man. Like I was saying, over there was this group of guys but I didn’t pay them a lot of attention. What I saw was this real babe. She wasn’t like Brigitte, you know the lady that wanted to kill me, oh no, she was sweet, she was nice. She walked across the street and me, being a normal, full-blooded male, could only admire her walk. See because I was so enthralled by her beauty, I almost walked into that lamppost. It was close man, real close or I would have had a shiner like you wouldn’t believe,” Argyle was about to explain further when Jarod asked him, “So that is when you noticed that Dog was gone.”

“Yeah man, right there. I looked down to explain to Dog, on account that Dog didn’t notice, that I had nearly walked into the lamp post. So what do you think, J-man? What happened to Dog?”

Argyle stared with a very trust- and hopeful look at Jarod as if Jarod had already figured out the whole mess and would bring Dog back immediately.

“When, exactly is the last time you saw Dog?” Jarod asked, hoping that Dog was about to appear behind a dumpster in the alley to the right.

“Oh, uh, I have to think about that one.” He looked upwards and to Jarod it was painful to watch the mental gears grind away in Argyle’s brain. After a minute Jarod was about to give up and continue with any of the other scenarios he had envisioned when Argyle took four careful steps backward.

“About here, J-man.”

So, Dog had managed to disappear in four steps. He took in his surroundings. To where the men had been was an open area of grass. The grass was a yellow brownish color and here and there he could see patches of ground in between the refuse that lay scattered over the field. There was a smallish bench and that is where the men must have sat or stood. Next to the open ground was an old colonial house, so rundown that he wondered why it had not been bulldozed. A small alley ran between the house and the next one. It was littered with old garbage. Across the road were houses in equal state of disrepair. For Dog to have disappeared he couldn’t have gone across the road. Argyle would have seen him, although Jarod wondered about that one. If Argyle was so “enthralled” by the lady, he doubted very much if Argyle would have noticed a bomb going off next to him. Convinced though that the least likely route for Dog was across the road, he concentrated on the area closest to them.

With Argyle following on his heels, he walked towards the alley. Looking down the alley, he could see another road on the other side. Stepping over the garbage, he made his way through the obstacles towards the other side of the alley. It opened on a better area than the one he left, but not by much. A busy thoroughfare intersected not far from where he had emerged. If Dog had been dog-napped, then the getaway car could have stood here. He did notice a few oil stains on the tar next to the pavement. When he touched it, he could feel the grit beneath his fingers. It was obviously an old car that haven’t been serviced recently, that had stood here.

“Did you find something J-man?”

“Maybe,” was Jarod’s answer. He made his way back down the alley and towards the park. He could see no reason for Dog to be taken but to him it started to look like a real prospect. All he had to do now was find witnesses that had seen Dog leave Argyle’s side. The hip-hop men and the lady across the street are both viable.

“Argyle, do you take your normal route usually around the same time?”

Argyle nodded. Jarod could see an idea start to take form behind those eyes and before the other could open his mouth to let him know what it was he asked his next question, “Are the men usually here?”

Argyle gave the air a look again before finally coming up with an answer. “Naw, only Mondays, Wednesday and Thursdays. Could it be that they are involved? I knew it. The music they listen to, they have to be baddies…”

Jarod tuned Argyle’s voice out. It was late and he couldn’t do anything until he had spoken to the hip-hop men. He walked back towards where Argyle’s humble abode dwelled, hoping that this wasn’t going to take too long.

He wanted to be there when Miss Parker opened the final door.

**************

Miss Parker had finally managed to locate the source of the music. She lined her pistol to the box and smiled when she put a bullet into the box. It is with great satisfaction that she listened to the last dying words before the music finally stopped. She turned triumphantly towards Sydney when Jarod’s voice sounded from the ceiling.

“Naughty, Miss Parker. That wasn’t a nice thing to do.”

“Come out and I’ll show you what nice things I’ll do to you, Jarod,” she growled, giving a quick survey of the surrounding area. She had taken the ridiculous costume off as soon as she had stepped through the door. Now she was surrounded by puppets dressed in clothes from all over the world.

The speaker above her sighed, and Jarod’s voice continued as if she had not spoken; “Now you will just have to sing the chorus before you can exit.”

“After all, it’s a small world, Miss Parker.”

She shot out the speaker and felt better when the sparks showed her that the speaker was now a relic. She stomped down the path, kicking a Dutch puppet. She ignored Sydney and Broots, instead trying to figure out what Jarod’s game plan was with his latest stunt.

She stopped when the familiar grey steel door stood before her. A monitor stood above the door and she eyed the dark screen.

“What do you want, Jarod? Why are you doing this?” She questioned, tired of playing the game. The screen stayed silent like she knew it would. Focusing on her anger again, she stepped forward and touched the door. As if by magic, the monitor came to life, showing a smiling Jarod in an elf’s costume staring down at them.

“There are three puppets hiding away in the world. They represent each one of you. Find them and then only can you return.”

Miss Parker holstered her gun and turned, heading back into the room. She pointed to the east corner, instructing Broots to search there. She let Sydney take the western side and she took both sides closest to the monitor. An hour later they returned to the door, each clutching a puppet in hand. The puppets gave a good indication of them. She touched the door, wondering what Jarod had in mind.

“Well done, Miss Parker. The search for a self is something that you got to experience. I never had that luxury.”

Miss Parker rolled her eyes. Jarod’s “poor me” speech was not helping her blood pressure, nor the next command that the Pretender gave.

“But at least I get to have some fun, now that I’m out of the Centre. Let’s see this as an exercise in recapturing some aspects of my youth I never got to have. If you want out, I suggest you start singing.”

With a laugh, the monitor went dead. She dropped the puppet and pulled her gun, pointing it at the door. Sydney grabbed her arm, stopping her from pulling the trigger.

“We already tried that and it didn’t work, Parker.”

“I. Am. Not. Going. To. Sing.” She managed to grind out, her gaze daring Sydney to refute the statement.

“How do you suggest we get out of here?”

Frustrated, Parker let the gun sink slowly. “There has to be another way. If only Broots had not gotten the bright idea to pull the lever, we wouldn’t be here.” Her gaze withered the tech before refocusing on Sydney. “Jarod must have a back way, Syd. There is always a back door.”

“We had been all over this room. Did you by any chance see a door?”

“No.”

Miss Parker pointed at Broots, “You sing. This is all you’re doing.”

“Parker, I don’t think it will work with just Broots.”
“Let’s wait and see.”

Broots cleared his throat and with a shaky voice started to sing the chorus. Two minutes later his voice trailed to silence.

The door stayed shut.

Sydney watched as Parker turned and walked back the way they had come. Thirty minutes later she returned, and he didn’t say a word when she started to sing the chorus angrily and without finesse. He and Broots joined in and as they warmed up he started to enjoy it just a little bit. When the final words died away they heard the click of the lock as it disengaged. Swinging the door open, he wondered what Jarod had in store for them next, making sure in the process that he stayed out of Parker’s way.

A smile graced his lips when he saw what the next room represented.

It was a candy store.

**************

Still having fun? Let me know…;-)

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

;-D


Behind door number 3…



Jarod touched the door tentatively. It creaked reluctantly, as if to say that even though the setting expected it of him, it didn’t mean that he would like it. The door opened to reveal the only room in the house. Whatever Argyle had done to clean up had not worked. Remembering the first encounter he had had with the man, he wasn’t surprised. This looked only slightly better. A bed had been shoved against one wall. The bedding that covered the mattress must have seen light at one stage and Jarod wondered whether that had been fifty years ago. Off to one side was a gas stove. The one pot that still stood there smelled of old grease and fried egg. Careful to keep his facial expressions neutral, he only half listened to Argyle explaining the virtues of his new home and what he had planned for the future. He took an unwilling step inwards, not yet ready to give in to the fact that he might have to spend the night here. His foot crunched on something and he looked down.

He had stepped onto a piece of paper that must have been shoved under the door. Curious now, ignoring the babbling Argyle, he picked it up. It didn’t smell all that bright and only added to the lingering smell that was Argyle’s home. He took it gingerly by his finger and thumb, holding it as far away from him as possible while trying to read what was written on it.

We have your dog Dog and we want

Jarod tried to read but a few oil splotches made by a finger had wiped out the rest of the wording. Frowning, he brought the paper closer, squinting in an effort to make out the rest of the words.

Well phone tonite tonigt tonight at the payfone

It was evident that the writer is grammatically challenged. It probably didn’t help that he failed to indicate when ‘tonight’ would be. Jarod sighed, trying not to breathe through his nose as the accumulated smell of Dog, Argyle and the rest of the house assaulted his senses. The dognappers were clearly not professionals. He wondered how they had managed to grab Dog without being seen and heard, but then again, he had also learned that with Argyle the impossible became highly likely.

“Argyle,” he interrupted the other, which was just explaining what color scheme he was proposing for the house, “where’s the pay phone?”

“You want to phone your lady friend?”

Jarod smiled, wondering what Miss Parker would say if she ever heard how Argyle described her.

“No, you have received a note,” he said, waving the said object in the air, away from his body and more importantly, his overwhelmed nose, “They want us to wait by the phone booth for further instructions.”

“See J-man, I told ya. Argyle, I said, Dog is dog-napped and Jarod will believe you, see they sent a note, J-man. What do they want, cause I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay, seeing that you gave all my money from Brigitte to the SPCA. Do you think if I ask nicely and explain the money’s for Dog, they’ll let me have it back?”

“The pay phone,” Jarod asked, taking a step outside and taking a deep breath of the cooling night air.

“Oh, right. It’s by the corner, J-man. So, we’re going to be partners again. We make good PI’s. Remember how we solved the last case. This time it’s personal, closer to home. Why do you think they took Dog? Maybe I know something important and they want to know what it is or maybe I won the lottery and don’t know it or maybe,” Argyle continued while the made their way towards where the phone was situated. Jarod was relieved when the ringing phone interrupted Argyle’s jumbled thought processes.

He answered, waiting for the person on the other side to speak.

“Is…is anyone there,” came the tentative question. Jarod could here some murmuring in the background, followed by a loud whisper that it is the correct number and Jimmy – he guessed it had to be they guy who had asked the question - should continue. He decided to end their misery and instead questioned, “Are you by any chance looking for Argyle?”

The voice sounded immensely relieved. “Uh, yeah, we’re looking for Argyle. Put him on.”

“Jimmy, I’m Argyle’s spoke man. Tell me your demands,” Jarod grinned, hearing the frantic whispers on the other side.

“He knows my name. How does he know my name, Ace?”

“Just shut up, what’s he asking?”

“Don’t know too many fancy words. Do you think Argyle got a lawyer?”

A sigh followed and Jarod could hear the silence on the other side as the duo decided how to proceed with the matter. He heard some more whispering, too faint to hear and then Jimmy’s voice came back, very uncertain.

“Uh, right. Say that again.”

Jarod decided to play nice. He needed to wrap this up and quickly. He still had time to make it back for his final triumph.

“What do you want us to do to get Dog back?”

“Yeah, we’ve got that stupid mutt,” Silence again and then whispers. Jarod closed his eyes, leaning against the glass of the booth. If only they were negligibly competent.

“We want the dog food.”

Jarod’s mouth gaped open and he closed it with a snap. He had never before in his life heard of the demand for dog food in exchange for the abductee or well, dogtee.

“You want the dog food,” he asked, just to make sure he had heard correctly.

“Yeah, we want the dog food. Are you deaf or something,” Jimmy asked more confidently.

“Where do you want to meet?

“At the old depot down by the station. Tomorrow at noon.”

Jarod put the phone back on the hook and turned to where Argyle was waiting impatiently.

“So, what did they want J-man?”

“Where did you store the dog food that Dog got?”

“Oh, by the shed. But there were too many bags and so I had to put some of them in the cellar. Why?”

Jarod stared at the sky, wondering what he had done to deserve this. He was clueless as to why Jimmy and Ace wanted the dog food. The only possible solution he could come up with was that something had been hidden in the food that was of value to whoever it was that stood behind the two inept kidnappers. No, correct that, dognappers.

“Show me,” he said, leading the way back towards Argyle’s home.

The food in the shed had all been opened. Jarod’s boots crunched over the dog pellets that lay strewn across the floor. Almost all the bags had been sliced open and judging by the gashes, angrily. Argyle was upset.

“People have no respect anymore, J-man. How could they do this? This is Dog’s food. His chow. His hard earned…eh,” Argyle stopped, thinking and then decided that no other word would fit, “earnings. This is not right, Jarod. It’s just not right.”

“I know,” Jarod consoled, “Where’s the cellar?”

Jarod and Argyle made their way towards the back of the house. Argyle pushed the storm doors open and leads the way into the darkness. A match was struck and flared when Argyle pushed it into a storm lantern. Jarod looked around. It wasn’t much. Basically just a hole in the ground with a few bags of dog food stuck in one corner.

“Argyle, can I open them,” he asked, knowing that the other was still upset about the shed.

“Yeah, J-man. Just remember that it’s Dog’s. If you’re hungry, I can make us something to eat although I think I only have egg.”

Jarod thought about the smell upstairs, the unwashed pot and Argyle’s attempt at cooking.

He politely declined the offer.

He was nearly to the last bag when he found what he had expected. Something of worth. Something that the dognappers’ boss never thought Argyle would have the guile to expect.

In between the dog pellets lay the shiny rocks. Diamonds.

“Wow. Can I touch them,” Argyle asked breathlessly, his hand already drifting downwards.

Jarod gave him one, while he separated the diamonds from the dog pellets. When he was finished he had around fifty one carat stones laid out on a small piece of cloth Argyle had fished out of somewhere.

“Why did they put the diamonds in the dog food, J-man? I mean, didn’t they think that the food is going to be sold and what will they do then,” Argyle was silent for a few seconds while his brain caught up with his mouth. “Oh, wait. I see. That’s why they took Dog. They want the diamonds and … and what then, J-man. Do you think Dog is still, you know…alive,” with this Argyle nearly sniffled.

Jarod carefully folded the cloth closed. He gave Argyle a smile and patted him on the back. “Argyle, Dog is still alive. They need him, remember. Don’t worry, we’ll sort this out and you’ll be back together again tomorrow.”

Argyle looked with such hope in his eyes at Jarod. “Really.”

Jarod nodded. Argyle smiled and as they made their way back towards the house and egg a la Argyle for supper, Jarod could only hope that what he had said was true. But then again. It was Argyle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, hallo there little ones. Oh, wait. You’re not so little anymore. Are you the three stooges? No, well ok.” Jarod smiled, wrinkled his nose before lifting a paw and pointing it at the screen. “If you want the combination lock you will have to go a-hunting. Yes, it is an Easter egg hunt. Somewhere within this store of goodies there is five eggs hidden. Find them, and more importantly, eat them and you will find the key to opening the door to paradise,” Jarod waved, wiggled his eyebrows and said his last parting words.

“Have fun now.”

“I will rip that bunny ears from him and make him eat them. With his nose,” Miss Parker snarled, eyeing the monitor and a grinning Jarod in a bunny costume. “Why me,” she lamented, before turning to Sydney and Broots. The sweet smell of candy had her nauseous already. Now she had to search the room for the eggs.

“Broots, tell me again how we ended up in this hell hole,” she smiled dangerously at the balding tech.

“Miss Parker,” Sydney admonished.

“What,” she nearly screamed, “it’s his fault that we’re in Jarod’s sick little game.”

“This will not help us in any way finish the task. Mistakes were made by all of us.”

Miss Parker paced the floor. She stopped and glared at the psychiatrist. Sydney was not intimidated, instead waited for her to question.

“Why is the lab rat doing this? What is his motive, Syd or has he finally gone bonkers.”

Sydney pushed his hand under his chin, meeting her gaze unflinchingly while Broots just looked on. “No, I don’t think Jarod is insane. There is method to this madness, Parker. What we need to do is finish the task he has given us.”

Miss Parker laughed. “Really, so were supposed to go hunt for eggs like we’re school kids. So whose insane now, Syd?”

Sydney hid his smile behind his hand, while gazing at Miss Parker with a knowing look. He knew why she was so upset. What Jarod was doing was reminding her too much of their childhood together. He indicated to Broots and the moved away from the still fuming brunette.

“Sydney, I’m sorry,” Broots whispered, making sure Parker was not behind him.

“It’s all right, Broots. She just needs a little space to adjust.”

Broots searched and explained in excitement when he found one of the eggs hidden away in a Popsicle stand.

“Look, Sydney, Miss Parker, I found one,” he grinned and said without thinking, “This is fun.”

The look that Miss Parker threw him would have killed him outright if that was possible. Luckily for him, that was not the case and he quietly disappeared behind a soft serve ice-cream machine, hoping that she had no bullets left in her gun while still clutching the egg.

It took them four hours before they were able to collect all the eggs. Broots and Sydney were smiling, clutching the eggs in their hands while Miss Parker glared at them. She had found only one, her mind occupied by a previous time when she had explained to Jarod the concept of Easter and the search for eggs.

She was suddenly tired and not in the mood to play anymore. She gave her egg to Broots silently. Broots frowned before he remembered what Jarod had said.

“Did he really mean we should eat it,” he asked Sydney while trying to keep out of the brunette’s way.

“I don’t think he really meant it, Broots,” Sydney smiled, “Let’s just break them open and see if we can find them.”

Five minutes later they keyed the combination in. It didn’t work.

“Just peachy. First wonder boy gives us these ridiculous tasks to do and then his answers don’t work.”

The screen flickered to life and Jarod leaned forward and wiggled his nose. “You didn’t eat the chocolate because if you did you would not be here anymore.”

Miss Parker eyed her gun, the screen and the chocolate. She lined up her pistol’s sights, eyeing for Jarod’s nose.

“That’s not nice, Miss Parker. How many bullets do you have left?”

She swore loudly, ignoring the looks she received from the other two. She smiled dangerously. “Fine Jarod. I’ll play. But know this, when I get out of here I will drag your bunny-ass back to the Centre.”

Sydney was worried. He had never heard her this determined before. His ward had obviously managed to push a few buttons and it was all the wrong ones that angered his nemesis. He watched as she grabbed the broken eggs, and giving most of it to Broots. He got one egg while she took one.

“Eat,” she commanded. With his fourth bite Sydney found something hard between his teeth. It was another key with a number on it. It wasn’t long before they had all the pieces. This time when the entered the key the door opened.

When Jarod had said paradise he had not meant it as an expression. He had meant it literally.

--------------------------

Ok, a bit more serious, but still light hearted. I think. Let me know.

 

Behind door number 4…

Miss Parker ignored the other two as she stepped towards the area that had obviously been set out for her. A deep, plush couch sat invitingly in the corner of the warehouse. Spread out on the table in front of it was the first 20 books of – yes, she wasn’t mistaken – the Hardy boys Case files. Classics, all of them. And serious collectors items. Also, a secret obsession she had been hiding from her coworkers.

She glanced back at the other two and satisfied that they weren’t paying attention, she stepped towards the coach with its prize. She took another furtive glance sideways to make sure that her coworkers were still not paying attention before she grabbed a book from the pile. Sinking down on the couch, she pulled her legs up and leaned back as she opened the first book.

0oooo0

Sydney smiled wistfully as he took in the music collection his prodigy had left him, including the old gramophone. He had no doubt that Jarod had spent a large amount of tender loving care and time to gather the collection. The Pretender had even managed to rig an earphone contraption for him to listen in private and without disturbing the others. Choosing one of the numerous titles available, he guided the needle unto the vinyl record, sinking back in a leather back chair as he closed his eyes and listened with silent wonder.

0oooo0

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Broots could hardly contain his excitement. A huge goofy grin centered on his face, his eyes alight as he took in the new electronic gadgets set out in front of him. His fingers tingled as he tried to find a way to choose what toy he wanted to play with first. He felt like a kid in a candy store – far too many choices that left him undecided on where to begin.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Finally with some effort, he calmed himself enough to make a decision, his hands already eagerly stretching out towards the chosen gadget as all thoughts of catching Jarod as well as the present whereabouts of his coworkers fled from his mind.

**************

Jarod tried his best to ignore Argyle’s incessant advice on how to approach the depot and all the different techniques - he as Argyle – had learned in his private eye days. Never mind that the period when Argyle had pretended to be a private investigator had been a very short lived experience. And a cold one for that matter. Never mind a painful one for himself as every other man he met wanted to put a fist through his face for the little indiscretions Dick Dickson had managed to perform along the way. Jarod silently wondered whatever had happened to Mona; the love of Argyle’s life. Just then Argyle grunted and tugged at his pants. Jarod turned in amazement as Argyle produced the smallest handgun he could possibly have acquired. Argyle’s hand engulfed the piece and Jarod had no doubt he was staring at the diminutive Baby Browning.

“Argyle, where did you get the gun?” he asked as he took the Lilliputian device form Argyle’s hand.

“It’s to protect myself, J-man. I’ve always had it…” he trailed to silence at Jarod’s disbelieving look. “That’s wrong, man. I’m not lying. Would I ever lie to a good buddy of mine, which you are, J-man. You’re like my best friend, my best buddy, my uhm…my homey. Okay, not homey but you get my meaning. What about a little trust between friends.”

“Argyle, you won’t need it. Why don’t I hold it for safe keeping, just in case you might lose it?” Jarod said with a straight face, ignoring as best he could the look of disappointment on Argyle’s features as he pocketed the gun. He barely felt the weight of the gun in his jacket as he turned back to watch the depot for any sign of life.

A few minutes later he decided to go down the embankment he and Argyle had been lying on. Uncharacteristically, Argyle kept a blissful silence as they descended towards one wall. Jarod leaned around the corner, making sure everything was quiet as it had been for the last ten minutes before rounding the corner and making his way towards the door.

“J-man?”

He cringed as the loud whisper filled the area around him, seemingly echoing slightly a few seconds later. He turned and gave Argyle an irate glare, one he hoped to shut him up.

“Do you think Dog will know we’re close?”

Jarod gave a small sigh, reminding himself that he was dealing with Argyle and that normal rules did not apply.

“Yes, Argyle. I’m sure Dog will be able to smell us coming. Now be quiet or we’ll alert the bad guys that we’re here.”

Argyle nodded, silently bringing a finger to his mouth. Jarod had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes before turning back to slowly open the door. He slipped in with Argyle right behind him as they hid behind stacked crates set out beside the door.

0oooo0

“I’m telling you man, they shouda have been here by now. Maybe we should call the boss and let him know.”

“No, Ace. The boss is already angry at us. You know how he gets. I don’t want him angrier at me. He might just decide to kill me to prove a point.”

“Oh, you’re right, Jimmy. I didn’t think of that. Sorry, man. Maybe we should go wait outside, that way if they see us, we can have the meeting, get the stones and give them the dog. We’re gonna give them the dog back, right?”

“Yup. We might be killers but we’re no dog killers. There’s rules, man.”

Jimmy nodded in agreement as he patted Dog absentmindedly before giving him a small tidbit. Dog devoured it expertly before looking at Jimmy with hopeful eyes for more.

0oooo0

“I see Dog, Jarod.” Argyle whispered. Tears started to film as Argyle excitedly pointed to where Dog sat on a crate besides one of the men that either had to be Jimmy or Ace. He was about to put his fingers in his mouth to whistle when Jarod stopped him.

“Remember why we are here, Argyle,” he implored sternly, albeit quietly as to not alert the other two men of their position. Argyle nodded vigorously, his eyes straying between Jarod and Dog.

“Now what, J-man?”

Argyle looked at Jarod with excited eyes, almost jumping up and down in what can only be described as a hyperactive fit.

“We follow my plan, Argyle. You do remember the plan, don’t you?”

Another vigorous nod followed his question. Jarod could only pray that Argyle did in fact remember his plan. Not that everything hinged on Argyle’s performance heaven forbid. He had contingency plans for that.

“Okay Argyle, time for you to do your thing.

He stepped back as Argyle sauntered away from their hiding place and into view of the two inept dog-nappers.

**************

Miss Parker blinked, forcing the lone tear that had threatened to erupt to settle back in place before it could escape. It wouldn’t do for the others to see she had been crying over a stupid book. Why did Iola have to die in any case? Poor Joe. She had no idea how he had managed to survive the whole episode.

She sighed as she put down the last of the books. She felt strangely at peace. She frowned, wondering again what Jarod’s game plan was. She was aware that time had passed while she had read and her stomach growled quietly, letting her know that it’s been a while since she had last eaten. Glancing at her watch, her eyes widened in surprise. It was now eight in the morning and she had just spent the better part of six hours reading books that no self-respecting adult should be seen with. Not that she cared but just in case, she glanced around her just to make sure her co-workers weren’t around to bear witness to this potentially embarrassing diversion..

Stretching slowly, she rose and made her way across to where Sydney sat, seeming to be fast asleep. She could faintly hear the sound of music emanating from his earphones. For a moment she just stood in front of her oldest friend, contemplating his features. The worry lines have dimmed and he looked at peace. Somehow she wondered if her features emulate those of Sydney’s. Giving in to another small sigh, she stretched out and lightly touched Sydney on his shoulder.

The psychiatrist was startled, staring up at her with confusion before settling on his surroundings. He seemed to have realized where he was as he gave a small sigh, unknowingly copying her earlier behavior as he removed the headphones and turned off the gramophone.

“Sorry, Syd. But it’s time to find a way out of here.”

He nodded in agreement, though they both felt a melancholy mood set in as they started towards Broots.

Broots’ emotions were easier to read. The obvious disappointment was very much evident on his features as he reluctantly let go. A kicked puppy couldn’t outdo his body language and Miss Parker had to force herself not to give in to the tech’s begging for some more play time.

Determined, but mindful of what Jarod’s possible intentions were, she walked out the adjacent door.

**************