Disclaimer: The Characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots and The Centre are all property of MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and are used without permission. Blah, blah, blah, yea, yea just get on with it. No money has been involved here and no infringement is intended. 12/08/02

Summary: Jarod has finally found the life he has been searching for, but can it live up to his expectations?



A Not so Perfect World


Shattered


By Phenyx



"Left turn in point five miles." A soft female voice echoed in the car.


Miss Parker guessed that it was supposed to be a soothing, friendly type of voice but she hated it. The satellite navigational service provided by the rental car company had been yammering directions for the past ninety minutes. Parker's patience, usually a tenacious thing at best, was reaching the breaking point.


"Leave it to Franken-rat to live out in the middle of nowhere." Parker grumbled to herself. "More than two hours from the nearest airport, Christ."


When Parker had left Delaware this morning, she had been more than angry. She had wanted to rip Jarod a new ass hole. Her ire had only grown during her flight and the following drive had increased her anger even more.


She had little regard for the rolling hills or the bright autumn colors that sped past her window. Parker was focused only on reaching the old farmhouse that Jarod and his family had purchased and renovated nearly a year ago.


"I'll teach him to ignore my messages." She grumbled. Parker began to imagine all the things she would say to him, the things she would do to him if he refused to go back to Delaware with her.


The least Jarod could do was to come back and see Sydney one more time. He needed to give the older man a chance to say goodbye. Parker was going to make sure that Jarod gave him that chance.


She and Sydney had last seen Jarod at the courthouse just after Sydney had been sentenced for conspiracy charges. There had been an ugly scene in the hallway between Sydney and Margaret Lambert, Jarod's mother. Mrs. Lambert had yelled and Sydney had taken it. Parker knew that Sydney felt he deserved the recriminations being heaped upon him. But Jarod's mother didn't have all the facts. She had behaved as though Sydney alone had been to blame for Jarod's abduction.


Admittedly, Parker understood why the woman had been upset. In Margaret's eyes, Sydney had been responsible for stealing her son and keeping him locked up for more than thirty years. Sydney's sentence of only two to five years must have been like a slap in the face.


But the prosecution had not been able to prove any kidnapping or child abuse on Sydney's part. To Parker's surprise, the DSAs of Jarod's imprisonment had never surfaced in court. Jarod had refused to testify against Sydney during the sentencing procedures. In addition, Sydney had cut a deal with the D.A. In exchange for his testimony against Raines and The Centre, Sydney had been promised a minimal sentence. He would permanently lose his psychiatric license and serve a shortened jail term.


Parker wondered briefly if Mrs. Lambert knew about Sydney's early parole. After nine months in prison, Sydney had been released earlier this week. Parker had called the farmhouse repeatedly, trying to get hold of Jarod. She had left messages but he had never called back.


Parker had been seen the disappointed look on Sydney's face the day he had been released when he realized that Parker had come alone to pick him up. There had not been a single word from Jarod.


"I understand." Sydney had told her. "He has his own family, now. He has the life he has always dreamed of. I can't blame him for wanting to forget about The Centre entirely."


But Parker blamed him.


She had spent most of the last nine months visiting Sydney every week. At first Jarod had written to Sydney regularly. Each week, Parker would visit and Sydney would read the letters to her. She had patiently listened to Sydney tell her about Jarod's stupid farm and the nonsense that he had been up to.


In the spring, Parker had spent a month vacationing in France, at Sydney's urging.


"You are free, Miss Parker." Sydney had said. "Don't waste the last gift your father gave you."


When The Centre had fallen, Parker had finally found out that her 'Daddy' had really cared for her. There had been no trace of her name on any documents involving illegal activities. The man Parker had loved as a father had spent years working hard to keep her name out of any incriminating evidence at The Centre. When the axe had finally fallen, the authorities had left Parker unscathed.


"Go away for a while." Sydney had pleaded.


So Parker had gone to Marseilles. She had spent her days on the beach or shopping, her nights at clubs dancing with strangers. There had even been a couple of affairs that had each held her interest for a brief time.


When she had returned, Sydney had no new letters to read to her. They had simply stopped coming without warning. Over the next six months with no further word from Jarod, Parker had watched the strain of incarceration wear her old friend down. Sydney had grown older and more haggard as the months dragged on. By the time his parole was approved, arthritis in his knee had forced him to start walking with a cane.


Last night, Parker and Broots had been at Sydney's house. The three of them had celebrated Sydney's return with an excellent meal and an evening of cards. Broots' daughter, Debbie, had spent the night with a friend. As a result, the party had also involved several bottles of very good wine.


It was well after midnight and all three had been a little tipsy when Sydney's phone rang. Parker had seen the hope that flared in Sydney's eyes as the telephone jangled. Sydney had hurried to the phone with a smile spreading across his face.


"Jarod?" Sydney had asked as he picked up the receiver.


Parker could tell immediately that the caller was not Jarod. The empty, deflated look that replaced the joy on Sydney's face had filled Parker with rage.


"No." Sydney had sighed. "There is no Dennis here." He paused. "Don't worry about it. It's quite all right. Good night."


The anger that had overwhelmed Parker last night had kept her awake. After stewing for several hours, she had finally decided to go and fetch Jarod. She would drag him to Delaware by his hair if she had to. Parker would not let him end things with Sydney this way. Her old friend deserved better.


No matter what Sydney had done in the past, he deserved more than to be discarded in such an off-handed way. Jarod at least owed him a good-bye.


Parker pulled off the paved road and onto a graveled drive leading to the farmhouse. She could see the large two-story building at the end of the long lane. The driveway was flanked on either side by wooden split rail fences. To her left, Parker could see someone riding a horse along the fence line.


At first, Parker thought the rider was Jarod. But as she drew closer Parker could see that the figure was shorter and much younger than the man she was looking for.


Parker stopped the car and rolled down her window as the rider reined the horse to a stop nearby.


"Hello, Jack." Parker said.


"Hello, Miss Parker." The young man answered politely. Then he smiled.


Parker returned the smile. She couldn't help it. The boy's smile was an infectious thing.


Jack, created from Jarod's DNA in the Gemini project, was a younger version of Jarod in so many ways. His looks, his mannerisms and his smile were all duplicates of those Parker remembered from when Jarod had been young. But in other ways, Jack was very different from the pretender who shared his fingerprints.


Jack was an impulsive young man. He often acted first and thought much later. Having fun was almost always a top priority. He made friends easily and often and had become quite popular at the high school he now attended.


But Jack fought desperately to be an individual, separate from Jarod. The boy could get very upset whenever compared to his older twin. One day, in a fit of defiance, Jack had stormed to his room and pierced his eyebrow with one of Emily's earrings. A silver stud still lanced through the young man's brow today.


The boy had been showing little interest in his education. His report cards consisted of a suspiciously steady stream of B's. Parker knew from Jarod's early letters that the boy had also gotten into trouble on several occasions.


Once, Jack had been accused of seriously beating the star of the school's football team. There had been rumors that the football player had taken advantage of a cheerleader while on a date. Nothing could be proven by anyone involved and all charges of any kind had been dropped. But the entire cheerleading squad had since become Jack's devoted fan club.


There had also been the time that Jack had been suspended from school for cheating. He had been caught red-handed selling the answers to final exams. Evidently, he had hacked into the school's computer network and retrieved copies of several tests. It had been easy for Jack to complete the tests and sell the answer keys for five dollars a pop. The suspension had prevented him from participating in any of his own finals and would ultimately force him to repeat the entire semester.


Jack was an intelligent kid, overindulged by his parents so that he got away with more than was good for him. But overall, Parker felt that Jack was a sweet young man who just tended to give in to his baser impulses a little too often. He was independent and a bit of a rebel. Parker liked him a lot.


Jack rested his arms nonchalantly on the saddle horn and tilted his head curiously at Parker. On the inner side of one forearm was a bandage about two inches wide and four inches long.


"What did you do to your arm?" Parker asked, eager to prolong her contact with the boy.


Jack smiled mischievously, peeled the bandage from his arm and leaned over the fence to show Parker a fresh tattoo. Professionally carved into the tender flesh was a colorful image of two girls. It was a zodiac symbol of the Gemini twins.


Parker smirked. "I thought you had to be eighteen to get a tattoo." She said.


Jack shrugged. "I have an ID that says I'm twenty two." He replied. "It also says that my name is Guido Capuletie but what the hey."


Parker laughed. She did like this kid. "Jackie my boy, if I were twenty years younger." Parker teased.


"You'd still be too much woman for me to handle, Miss Parker." Jack laughed. "Besides, Jarod would kill me for even thinking such a thing."


"Speaking of Jarod." Parker said, suddenly serious. "Is he at home?"


The frown on Jack's face caused Parker some concern. "No." he said slowly. "Jarod has been staying at The Pines. I thought Ethan had told you."


"Ethan hasn't told me anything." Parker replied.


Jack nodded. "That explains it." He mumbled.


"Explains what?" Parker pried.


"Why you've taken so long to show up here." The boy answered. "Come on, I'll meet you up at the house." Making a clicking sound in his cheek, the young man spurred his mount forward and the horse shot toward the end of the lane.


Parker frowned at the mysterious statement Jack had made. If Jarod had moved, it would explain why he hadn't returned her messages. He would not have gotten them. But Parker couldn't figure out why Jarod would have relocated without notifying Sydney.


By the time Parker pulled up in front of the house, Jack had dismounted and was fastening the reins to the porch railing.


Parker gave the house a cursory glance. The white porch seemed to wrap around the entire structure. Late blooming flowers lined the walk. There was a porch swing hanging from the beams to her right. The place looked like something straight out of an episode of "The Waltons".


Jack disappeared into the house and returned a moment later with Ethan in tow.


"Miss Parker!" her little brother cried. Ethan wrapped Parker in his arms and hugged her tightly. "It is good to see you."


"It's good to see you too little brother." Parker said gently.


Jack, arms crossed as he leaned against the porch, spoke harshly. "Ethan. Why didn't you tell Miss Parker about Jarod?"


Ethan chewed at his lower lip with worry. Frowning, he answered. "Your mother made me promise that I wouldn't say anything." He said to Jack. Then he turned to Parker and added, "Margaret felt that we just needed a little time."


Jack stepped toward them and patted Ethan gently on the shoulder. "Well, time's up. I think you should take Miss Parker up to The Pines. Today. It may help."


Ethan nodded slowly. "Your mother won't like it." He said cautiously.


Jack shrugged. "You two go on now, before Mom and Dad get back. I'll stall them as long as I can."


"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Parker demanded as her anger began to return.


Jack looked at her sadly. "You need to see for yourself, Miss Parker."


Ethan headed toward Parker's rental car and climbed into the passenger seat. Parker returned to the driver's seat and steered the car back down the lane. As she followed Ethan's directions, she tried to get more information out of him.


"Ethan," she pried. "How long has Jarod been living at this pines place?"


Her brother swallowed guiltily. "Almost six months now. It all happened so suddenly. I just didn't know how to stop it."


Goosebumps broke out on Parker's flesh and she was suddenly more frightened than she was angry. Had Jarod been in an accident? Had he been hurt all this time?


"Ethan," she began.


"Miss Parker," Ethan interrupted. "Please just wait until we get there. It's only thirty minutes away. And try to understand, I just didn't know what to do." Parker glanced at her brother in concern. He was troubled, almost in tears.


Parker nodded reluctantly.


Ethan relaxed a bit. With a sigh he said, "I told Jack that you would come, sooner or later. You will know what to do, Miss Parker. You will know and everything will be okay."


"It will okay. Everything is fine." Ethan went on as he murmured to himself. He abruptly grabbed Parker by the arm with desperation and said, "Trust your inner sense, Miss Parker. I know I do."


A shiver ran down Parker's spine as though someone had just walked on her grave. Ethan's words echoed in her mind.


Jarod had said exactly the same thing once while standing in her living room. Parker had been aiming her gun at Jarod's heart when a moment later Jarod had effortlessly taken the gun and was pointing it at her. "Trust your inner sense, Miss Parker." Jarod had said. "I know I do." And he had casually handed her gun back to her and walked out of the house to find Ethan.


The scene had been a display of Jarod's confidence in Miss Parker. His belief in her that day had been so strong, his conviction in Parker's integrity so great that Parker had been left shaken and speechless. It had been a show of trust between two people who had little experience with trust.


Jarod had needed to believe in her then. Did he need her again now? Or were Ethan's words just a coincidental duplication?


Ethan fidgeted in his seat, casting nervous glances at Parker as she drove. His apprehension grew as time went by as though he feared Miss Parker might turn viciously on him. Ethan's edginess reminded Parker of the way Broots used to act back at The Centre whenever she had been in a particularly bad mood.


They left the rural farmland behind as they entered a suburban area. There were other cars around them now and Parker had to stop several times for traffic lights.


Parker maneuvered the car around a bend in the road and she saw a sign off to her left. SUGARDALE PINES PSYCHOGENIC INSTITUTE.


She stopped the car in front of the gates, "Ethan." Parker whispered. "Tell me that Jarod is working here."


Ethan stared at her silently.


Parker closed her eyes, taking deep calming breaths as she fought the rage that swelled within her. Ethan had known she would be angry. He had known her well enough to be afraid of her reaction. Yet he had been brave enough to bring her here. Parker wouldn't take this out on her little brother. She would talk to Jarod and find out what was going on.


Without another word, Parker put the car in gear and slowly drove through the open gates and up the paved road to the mental hospital.


They parked the car and entered the facility. Ethan led the way through the halls with confidence. He told Parker that he'd been here many times to visit. As they entered one of the wards, Ethan stopped at the nurse's station.


"Hi, Cheryl." Ethan said to a petite blonde haired girl behind the counter.


"Hello, Ethan. Today's not your regular visiting day." The girl observed.


"I know." Ethan answered. "But I've brought someone new with me."


The nurse gave Parker a curious glance before she turned back to Ethan. "Well, I'm not sure that he's up to having visitors today." The girl said gently. "He had a pretty rough night."


Ethan frowned. With a sigh he asked, "Did they sedate him?"


The girl nodded. "Nick was working the night shift. He told me that they had no choice. You can go and see him if you like but the medication hasn't worn off entirely. He'll be a little out of it."


Parker spoke, "I've come a very long way to see him."


The blonde girl shrugged. "He's in the common area. You know the way Ethan."


"Thanks, Cheryl." Ethan said as he headed down the hallway.


At the end of the hall, Ethan led Parker through a set of double doors and into a large room. In one corner there was a television surrounded by several cushioned chairs. Scattered through the room were small tables and chairs. At some of the tables there were people playing cards or chess or other games. On the opposite wall was another set of double doors leading outside.


Ethan walked through the room, weaving around other people when necessary, and headed outdoors with barely a glance around the room. Parker paused long enough to see that Jarod wasn't there before she followed her brother.


The outdoor recreation space was a large sun filled area. There were trees and benches and a paved path that made a large circle in the grass. Near the doors was a patio with lawn chairs and more tables. If not for the ten- foot chain link fence, Parker would have thought they had stumbled into a park somewhere.


Ethan stopped at one of the tables to talk to a trembling young man sitting in a wheel chair.


"Hi, Toby." Ethan said gently as he crouched beside the man.


"Ethan!" The younger man giggled.


"How are you today?" Ethan said.


"I'm good. Real good. Getting better every day you know."


Ethan smiled. "Yes, I know."


The man in the wheelchair frowned. "He's not so good. Not good at all. No pictures today, no drawings."


"I heard." Ethan said. "Cheryl told me that he had a rough night."


"Real rough." The man agreed. "I heard him. I heard." He paused for a moment then said seriously. "He's not getting better, you know. He has more not good days than he has good days. Some days, even his drawings are scary."


Ethan nodded sadly as he patted the other man's trembling hand. "I've brought Miss Parker to see him."


The crippled shaking man looked up at Parker as though he hadn't noticed her before. "You're Miss Parker?" the man asked. "Yes. You would be her." He said without waiting for an answer. "He's there." The man pointed an unsteady hand toward a large tree several yards away from the main path.


Parker placed a hand on Ethan's shoulder and said, "You stay here and visit with your little friend. Let me talk to Jarod alone for a while."


Ethan nodded and Parker headed toward the tree. As she approached, she could see a figure sitting in the sunshine just outside the shadow cast by the tree's foliage. His knees were pulled toward his chest and he was rocking back and forth methodically.


Parker gaped at the man sitting at her feet. This pale, vacant creature was not the pretender she knew. He was staring sightlessly at the grass in front of him. He silently sat there and rocked.


Parker lowered herself to her knees beside him. "Jarod?" she whispered. "Jarod." She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.


The fact that he stopped rocking was the only indication that he had heard her.


She shook him again. "Jarod?" Parker searched his face for some sign of consciousness. His pupils were hugely dilated, his gaze glassy, attesting to the fact that he had been heavily sedated recently. Several days' worth of stubble covered his jaw. There were deep dark circles under his eyes making Parker wonder how long it had been since he had actually slept.


"Jarod!" Parker shook his shoulders harder this time. She was getting very frightened. "If you are faking this, Jarod, I swear to God I'm going to put a bullet in your ass."


Jarod stared at some point above her right shoulder. He was totally unresponsive. "Jarod." Parker hissed. "It’s me. It’s Miss Parker." She shook his shoulders again. "Jarod, please talk to me."


"Maybe he doesn't want to talk to you, Miss Parker." A woman's voice said from behind.


Parker whirled around and came face to face with Jarod's parents. Margaret Lambert had an angry determined look on her face. Major Charles stood beside her wearing a frown. Several feet away, looking worried, Ethan and Jack waited fretfully.


Miss Parker slowly rose to her feet. In her three-inch stiletto heels, she towered over Jarod's mother. The older woman edged closer to her husband. 'Go ahead' Parker thought to herself. 'Create a united front against me. It won't do you any good.'


The anger and rage that Parker had been fueling for the past twenty-four hours rose unabated. Anyone who knew Miss Parker would have known by her stance exactly how dangerous she was at this moment. But Jarod's parents didn't know her very well. Margaret Lambert stepped right into Parker's wrath.


"I don't think he wants to talk to you." The older woman reiterated.


"You don't think." Parker hissed. "I don't give a rat's ass what you think."


Parker had to give the woman points for bravery. Jarod's mother didn't back away. Most people turned tail and ran off at this point.


Parker stepped menacingly toward Jarod's parents. "What have you done to him?" She snarled. "What have you done?"


"We haven't done anything, Miss Parker. He had a bad night. Things look worse than they are. Once the medication wears off you'll see." Major Charles said firmly.


"You only managed to do to him in less than one year, what The Centre couldn't do in thirty." Parker growled as she pointed to the man curled at her feet. "You've broken him."


"We are helping him." Mrs. Lambert stated with resolve.


"You helped him right into the nut house." Parker yelled.


"No, we." Jarod's mother started.


Parker glared and standing toe to toe with the older woman she hissed, "Is this or is this not a hospital for mental disorders?" Without waiting for an answer Parker went on. "Yes. It is. That makes it a nut house, a loony bin, a cracker barrel, a funny farm."


"Miss Parker," Ethan began as he stepped toward her.


She had plenty of rage to go around. Ethan was caught in her next volley. "Back off, little brother." The endearment fell from her lips sounding like a curse. "Stay out of this."


"I. I want to help." Ethan stammered.


"Then you should have called me." Parker snarled, snapping a fist in the air. "I would never have allowed this to happen."


"You have no say in this, Miss Parker." Jarod's mother yelled. "This is family business and it has nothing to do with you."


"If it involves Jarod, then it is my business." Parker's voice took on a low dangerous tone. "Always has been. Always will be."


"Your job was to capture him and take him back to that god forsaken place." The older woman cried.


"I never drove him crazy." Parker stated pointedly.


"Please!" Major Charles courageously stepped between the two women. "Please, calm down before the staff kick us all out. Miss Parker, my son is not crazy. Please let us explain." Turning to his wife, the major added, "Maggie, she cares about his well-being. We can at least give her all the details."


Parker glanced down at Jarod. He seemed oblivious to the argument going on around him. He simply stared straight ahead and began rocking back and forth again. She sighed heavily. She needed to know what had brought Jarod to this point. It was the only way she would be able to help him.


She took several deep calming breaths in an attempt to rein in her temper. Then Parker crossed her arms defensively over her chest and nodded gravely at the major.


"Not long after we last saw you," Major Charles began. "Jarod started having nightmares."


Parker scoffed. "He's had nightmares since we were children. That's nothing new."


The major explained. "These nightmares were different. He'd wake up screaming like he was trying to wake the dead. He would be disoriented for several minutes afterward. Jarod swears that every time it happens, it is the same dream but he can't remember anything about it."


"At first we didn't think anything of it." The major remembered. "Jarod laughed it off. He chalked it up to the strain of Sydney's trial. He would wake up screaming once a week or so but we all figured it would go away in time."


"It didn't." Parker said knowingly.


"No." The major went on. "The dream started coming more frequently. Still Jarod couldn't remember anything aside from the fact that it was the same recurring nightmare."


"It got even worse after Zoe left." Jack added from a safe distance.


Parker frowned. She had met the red haired girl briefly at the courthouse all those months ago. Parker remembered thinking that Zoe seemed to be an amusing bit of fluff. The girl had been attractive enough but had struck Parker as being a little shallow.


"She left?" Parker asked.


Jack nodded sadly. "She said that she'd come back in a few months."


Parker laughed caustically. "After his nightmares were gone presumably."


"Presumably." Jack confirmed.


"Bitch." Parker spat. Just when Jarod had needed her support the most, the floozy had taken off. When the going got tough, the bimbo just left. Parker vowed to personally slap the bitch if she ever laid eyes on Zoe again.


"It actually seemed to get better at first." The major continued. "The frequency of Jarod's nightmares dropped from nearly every night to barely once a week." He shrugged. "Then we discovered that Jarod was only going to sleep one night a week or so. He was having the dream every time he slept."


Parker sighed dejectedly and leaned against the nearby tree while she watched Jarod rock. The major kept talking.


"One night, we found Jarod in the front yard. He was screaming so loud that the neighbors called the police. We had to do something." The major pleaded. "We couldn't let him continue to suffer like that."


Parker sighed again.


"This hospital has an excellent sleep disorder clinic. Jarod came here for treatment for the nightmares." The major said.


"Observation." Jarod suddenly croaked, making the others all jump.


Parker rushed to Jarod's side and crouched on the ground beside him. She threw a violent glare at Jarod's parents, daring them to stop her. They didn't.


"Jarod?" Parker called softly. "Can you hear me?"


The emptiness in his brown eyes disappeared and was replaced by an unfathomable sadness. His lower lip quivered as Jarod whispered, "They brought me in for observation." He laughed in a sad hollow series of gasps. "Observation."


Parker gently caressed the back of Jarod's neck with her fingertips. He was fighting the medication, struggling to regain his senses. With a heavy sigh Jarod laid his forehead against Parker's shoulder.


"Jarod? It's me." Parker said gently.


"Parker." Jarod breathed her name as though whispering a prayer. "I'm so tired, Parker. So tired."


"I know." Parker soothed.


"I can't sleep." He whimpered groggily into her shoulder. "They come. They come when I sleep."


"Who comes, Jarod?" Parker urged.


"I don't know." He gasped. "Don't let them come, Miss Parker. I can't fight them. Please don't let them come."


Parker didn't know how long she sat there in the grass while Jarod struggled against the sedation he'd been given. He practically crawled into her lap and curled against her like a child afraid of the dark. Parker held him tightly, rubbed his back and murmured nonsense words to comfort him.


When Parker looked up again, she realized that Ethan and Jack had disappeared. Jarod's parents stood watching her every move.


"I don't understand." Margaret whispered.


"I do." Parker's voice caught in her throat. She refused to let herself cry in front of this woman. "Let me take a guess. You brought him here for observation." The last word snarled from her throat like a swear word. "They locked him in a little room with a two way mirror. They hooked him up to a bunch of wires to monitor his reflexes and recorded the entire thing on tape for the sake of posterity."


Margaret swallowed hard. "It was standard sleep disorder study techniques. Jarod knew that."


Parker laughed bitterly. "And the doctors were rewarded with the worst episode he'd ever had, right?"


Major Charles answered with a nod. "It took five orderlies to control him. Two of them were badly injured."


"He has no control over these night terrors." Jarod's mother defended. "He becomes dangerous to others and to himself. He needed treatment."


"So you committed him to an insane asylum." Parker declared.


"We haven't committed him, Miss Parker." The Major contradicted. "Jarod agreed to stay in the hospital to get treatment."


"Do you really think he could argue with you?" Parker gasped. She shook her head slowly. "You are his parents. He had to do what you asked." With a sigh she looked down at Jarod. "And you just locked him back in the same place he's been running away from for the last six years."


Parker was stunned. How could they not see what they had done? More importantly, how was Parker going to fix this? What had Ethan expected her to do? Her brother's earlier statement floated through her mind once again. 'Trust your inner sense.'


Parker closed her eyes and breathed deeply several times. She tried hard to calm herself. Then she listened. She listened to the voice inside her.


"Run." It said.


Parker looked down at Jarod again. She shook his shoulders and called his name firmly. "Jarod? Can you get up?" She shook him again. "Jarod." She ordered. "Get up."


Surprisingly, Jarod picked himself up off the ground and stood shakily in the grass.


"Let's go inside." Parker suggested as she steered him down the path.


They had reached the common room, Jarod's stride getting steadier with each step, when Parker turned to his parents and said, "Do you mind? I'd like to talk with him alone for a few minutes."


To Parker's astonishment, the older couple stopped and allowed Parker to lead Jarod into the hallway alone. She walked him past the nurse's station and out of the ward. The two of them strolled down the main corridor to the hospital entrance.


Parker was nearly giddy with shock at the ease of their escape. They were descending the front steps when Parker heard the commotion caused by their pursuers.


"The blue rental car in the third row. Run!" Parker cried as she shoved Jarod in the right direction. After so many years of training, Jarod didn't need to be totally coherent to do as she told him. Running was an automatic response for him. His instincts kicked in quite nicely and he ran. Parker pressed the button on her key chain that activated the car locks and they both hopped into the vehicle as they reached it.


With a squeal of tires, Parker threw the car in gear and it skidded out of the parking space. She sped down the drive and the car zoomed into the street, barely missing oncoming traffic. Parker nearly lost control when the car jumped a concrete divide and swung down a side road. The vehicle fishtailed slightly then weaved into the stream of cars, blending in perfectly.


Parker laughed. She had come here today ready to pummel Jarod. But instead, she had made herself his protector. After years of chasing him, Parker had just abducted her very own pretender.

A Not so Perfect World


Driving


By Phenyx




Jarod sat in the passenger seat staring blankly out the windshield as Parker drove. She had taken him from the hospital with nothing but the clothes on his back. Parker knew that with no identification, she'd not be allowed to put Jarod on a plane. So rather than return to the airport, Parker pointed the car east and kept on driving.


Parker figured that they would need to stop for the night somewhere in Kentucky. She didn't think she could manage driving straight through the night. It was fine. They were in no hurry. They could take their time and still reach Blue Cove sometime tomorrow evening.


For the next hour, Parker chattered aimlessly while she drove. She didn't say anything of importance. She commented repeatedly on the weather and how lovely the autumn leaves were. She rambled on about nothing, shear nonsense. She talked about anything in an effort to get Jarod to respond in some way.


Parker may as well have been talking to a brick. Jarod just stared out the window. He hadn't said a word since they had fled from the hospital. Parker wasn't sure he even realized where he was.


With a heavy sigh, Parker stopped talking to her mute companion and turned on the radio in resignation. For several moments she spun the dial, looking for a decent station. When she found a modern upbeat song, she glanced at Jarod to see if he would react in any way.


Jarod showed no change at all. Parker sighed again and drove down the highway.


Sometime later, the music began to crackle and hiss with static as they reached the edges of the station's broadcast area. Parker snapped off the tuner, plunging the car into an uncomfortable silence.


An informational sign on the side of the road caught Parker's eye. She realized suddenly that she'd had nothing to eat today. The coffee served to her during her airplane flight this morning hadn't been very satisfying.


She signaled a lane change and headed toward the next exit ramp. "I'm hungry." She declared. "What about you?" she asked her silent passenger.


"Always." Jarod's response startled her and Parker glanced quickly toward him.


Jarod had his forehead pressed against the window as he stared out the side. Parker couldn't see his face. For a moment, she thought she had imagined his reply.


"Jarod?" Parker asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"


"No." Jarod huffed gently. "I'm a long way from okay." He turned and looked at her sadly.


Parker heaved a sigh of relief. "At least you're no longer catatonic. You scared the shit out of me, Jarod. I thought you'd finally blown a fuse."


"I'm not completely mad, Parker." Jarod said tonelessly. "Not yet, anyway. I'm just missing a couple of marbles. Not carrying a full deck. A few fries short of a happy meal." He giggled suddenly.


Parker shot him a concerned look. "Jarod." She ordered. "Get a grip. This kind of talk is not engendering confidence on my part here."


"Sorry." He replied meekly.


Parker pulled up to the drive-thru menu of a popular restaurant. "How hungry are you?" she asked.


"Starved." Jarod said simply.


Parker ordered a chicken sandwich for herself and two huge bacon cheeseburgers for Jarod. She also bought large drinks, French fries and two of the chocolate flavored ice cream treats that this establishment was known for.


After collecting their food at the window, Parker parked the car in the lot and they ate at a nearby picnic table.


Jarod inhaled his first burger and was working on the second when he abruptly asked, "Do my folks know where I am?"


Parker sipped her drink and answered cautiously. "They know that you are with me." She replied. "Beyond that, they haven't a clue. You don't remember what happened earlier?"


Jarod put his sandwich down for a moment and looked at Parker intently. "I remember running across a parking lot." He paused. "Was that today?"


Parker nodded.


Jarod sighed and rubbed his fingertips across his forehead. "I haven't really been able to sleep much lately." He explained. "The sleep deprivation causes me to forget things, and I get confused easily."


"The heavy sedation they had given you doesn't help you remember things either." Parker added.


"Yeah." Jarod smirked. "But who needs drugs when a few days without sleep can achieve the same paranoia and delusions?"


Parker raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "A few days? Jarod I know for a fact that you can go for more than one hundred hours without sleep and barely crack a yawn."


Years of Centre training had taught the pretender how to perform for several days without rest. Parker wondered again how far Jarod had been pushing the extremes of his own physical limits.


"How long has it been, Jarod?" Parker asked. "When was the last time you slept?"


"What month is this?" Jarod wisecracked. He shrugged, knowing that Parker wouldn't be satisfied until he answered her. "I fell asleep for almost an hour last night."


Parker chewed thoughtfully on a fry. "You had the dream again. Hence the 'rough night' and the need for sedation." She shook her head angrily, "Morons." She growled.


"Parker," Jarod frowned. "You can't blame the doctors. I don't know what I'm doing while I'm unconscious. I've hurt people. One orderly has a broken shoulder because he tried to calm me down. You could be in danger if I should fall asleep."


"Nonsense." Parker argued.


"I'm very serious, Parker. I could hurt you and not even realize I've done it." Jarod stared at her honestly.


Parker smiled at him reassuringly. "Eat your lunch, Jarod. Don't worry about it."


"But Miss Parker." Jarod pleaded.


"Stop it." Parker ordered. "You are not going to hurt me, Jarod. You would never harm me. Besides, I can take care of myself. I won't let you hurt me."


"I'm a lot bigger than you are, Parker." Jarod whispered as he picked at his food.


"I can still kick your ass, wonder-boy." Parker glared. "And don't you forget it."


Jarod managed a weak smile. Parker had always been a closely matched rival. In his currently dazed state, Jarod would be no match for her. Parker was right. She could kick his ass without even breaking a nail.


The two of them ate their sandwiches in silence for several minutes.


Finally Jarod asked, "Where are we headed?"


"Blue Cove." Parker answered. "I came out here today so that I could take you back to visit Sydney."


Jarod frowned with concern. "Is he all right?"


"He misses you, you idiot." Parker scolded. "He hasn't heard a word from you in months."


"Once I was in the hospital and I stopped sleeping entirely, it was difficult to write a sensible letter. I knew that Sydney would realize something was wrong." Jarod shrugged. "I didn't want him to be worried about me."


"Well he thinks that you don't need him anymore." Parker griped. "He believes that you have your real family now and that you just want to forget about anything connected to The Centre."


Jarod stared at her in shock. "Sydney can't possibly think that I would abandon him like that!"


Parker shrugged. "Well no one bothered to tell us that you weren't well. So it was easy to believe that you'd just gotten too busy to spare any time for Sydney."


Jarod sighed dejectedly. "How is he dealing with prison life?" He asked curiously. "Is he adjusting okay?"


"Not really." Parker answered. "But that's no longer a problem. He was released this week."


Jarod looked at her in surprise. "Really?"


She nodded. "He's on parole for two years so he won't be able to leave the state without special permission, but otherwise he's a free man."


"That's really great." Jarod smiled. "Sydney must be thrilled."


Parker sighed. "You'd think so. But the entire experience has really worn on him. He's gotten old, Jarod." She reached over and patted Jarod's hand. "But I have a feeling that seeing you again will do him a world of good. Maybe it will do you both some good."


"Maybe." Jarod agreed cautiously.


They finished their food and went in to the restaurant to discard the trash and use the restrooms. Ten minutes later Parker had filled the gas tank at a nearby station and they were back on the highway headed east.


Jarod slouched in the passenger seat, his head leaning against the cushioned back, and watched Parker for a while as she drove. They talked about things that they had never had the chance to talk about before. He discussed books he had read recently. Parker told him about a movie she had seen with Debbie last month.


The two talked about their favorite music. Jarod learned that Parker's favorite color was pink. He told her that his was violet. Jarod even told her why he liked that color so much. Parker told him about her recent vacation in France.


"He did not really say that!" Jarod laughed. Parker was telling him about one of the men she had spent time with briefly while in Marseilles.


Parker smiled slyly. "Swear to God." She vowed. "Admittedly, he wasn't very bright."


"Obviously." Jarod chuckled.


Parker shrugged. "But where he lacked in the brains department, he more than made up for in other areas." She purred.


"Other areas?" Jarod asked, his brows rising.


"Hmm." Parker hummed. "All the areas that matter. And he pounded it to me like a jack hammer."


"Whoa!" Jarod exclaimed. "Now that's a mental image I do not need burned on my fragile brain."


Parker laughed.


"Too late." Jarod sighed dramatically, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. "The picture is there. I can't get it out now."


Parker shrugged seductively. "Then I suggest you enjoy the show, Lab-rat."


Jarod gaped at Parker in shock. "I have definitely gone off the deep end." He moaned. "I am no longer in touch with reality. I just imagined that you, Miss Parker, made a sexually suggestive remark to me, Franken-rat. I have gone completely mad."


Parker called up her most indignant glare and retorted. "You are definitely crazy, Jarod. I would never make such a remark. I am the epitome of prudish chastity." She declared regally.


Jarod stared at her wide-eyed for a heartbeat before he broke out in peals of delighted laughter.


Parker smirked at this reaction. "What?" She cried playfully with a totally innocent look on her face.


Jarod cackled even harder. "Parker, please." He guffawed. "Please don't mess with a crazy man's head. I'm living in my own delusions. I can't deal with yours." He gasped for air between laughing. "Chastity. Prudish chastity!" He wailed gleefully. "Oh my God, Parker. You're killing me."


Parker smiled. The way she saw it, if Jarod could joke about his sanity then he must still be sane.


As his fit of laughter subsided, Jarod sighed. "That felt good. My side hurts now, but it felt really good."


"Quit your whining." Parker groused lightheartedly.


Jarod snuggled further down in his seat and leaned his head against the window. "You know, someone who didn't know us better might think we were friends right now."


The sun was beginning to set behind them so Parker leaned forward and turned on the headlights. She didn't respond to Jarod's comment.


"Are we friends now, Miss Parker?" he asked cautiously.


Parker didn't answer for a long time. Jarod had just about given up on getting any response from her when she finally said, "There's too much history between us, Jarod."


Jarod nodded sadly and quickly shifted so that he could stare out the window.


"A friend is someone you take to lunch. Someone who joins you at the movies or buys you a couple of beers." Parker said softly. She glanced at him in the darkening car. Her voice dropped to little more than a whisper as she went on. "There is more to this than that."


"There is something between us." Jarod urged softly.


Parker could see Jarod looking at her, his big brown eyes filled with a need that she recognized. It was the same look she had seen on his face in the limo after their adventure on Carthis. Parker had crushed his attempts to forge some kind of relationship then. This meant so much to him. Hell, it meant so much to her.


Parker sighed and with one word, she lost an inner struggle that she'd been fighting for years.


"Yes." She said softly.


Jarod smiled and breathed deeply, as though he'd been holding his breath. He shivered then and wrapped his arms around himself.


Parker frowned. She was wearing an autumn suit and hadn't noticed how the temperature had dropped when the sun had set. Jarod was wearing only a white t-shirt, blue jeans and ugly slip-on canvas shoes. He tried to hide the fact that he was shivering. Parker turned on the heater and reached into the back seat where she had tossed her raincoat when she had first rented the car.


Pulling the beige garment into the front, Parker draped it over Jarod and tucked the cloth around the one shoulder she could reach.


"Better?" She asked.


Jarod nodded and blinked at her silently for several minutes. "I didn't realize you could be so maternal." He said with a smile.


Parker shrugged. "Well, I did kidnap you. I suppose that makes me responsible for your welfare for the time being."


"Kidnapping across state lines is a federal offense." Jarod mumbled inanely.


With a glance, Parker could see that Jarod was fighting hard to stay awake but he was losing the battle. It was obvious that he was simply exhausted. Jarod's eyelids drooped heavily and his breathing grew deeper. She turned the radio on softly, found a classical music station and let the slumber take him.


An hour later, Parker caught herself yawning. The highway stretched before her like a black ribbon unfolding in the headlights. She would need to find a motel soon and get some rest but Parker didn't want to stop the car. Jarod was sleeping so peacefully she was afraid to wake him. So she kept driving.


Without warning, Jarod abruptly started to scream. The sudden noise startled Parker and the car swerved across two lanes. Luckily there was little traffic on the road around them. A horn honked loudly to the left as Parker yanked on the steering wheel and maneuvered the car onto the berm.


Jarod's voice reverberated through the enclosed vehicle. His entire body convulsed as he thrashed against the seat belt. Parker slammed the car into park. She grabbed Jarod's shoulder and tried to wake him.


The moment she touched him, Jarod's eyes flew open. Sightlessly staring at something Parker could not see, he frantically tried to escape.


"Help me!" He screamed over and over and over. Wide eyed with terror, Jarod began to pound on the window with flailing fists as he struggled desperately against an invisible foe.


Fearing the he would break the glass and cut himself to shreds, Parker quickly released both seat belts. She sprang from the car, ran to the other side and pulled the passenger door open. Jarod fell to the ground, a shivering pile of misery at her feet.


Parker grabbed his shoulders and shoved him into a seated position with his back pressed against the car.


"Help me!" he cried wretchedly.


Rather than try to shake him awake and risk a violent defensive reaction from Jarod, Parker instead took his face tenderly in her palms. She spoke calmly and gently. "I'll help you, Jarod. I'm here to help you."


Parker didn't know if he could hear her or not. She wasn't sure what she was doing. She wondered for the first time, if taking Jarod from the hospital had been the right thing to do. The past few hours had given Parker a false sense of security. Jarod had seemed fine. But now Parker began to understand what his parent's had been trying to tell her.


Her inner sense had told her that Jarod needed to get out of that hospital. Parker's actions had been purely instinctive. She decided to continue to let her intuition guide her.


"I'm here to help you." Parker repeated firmly as she caressed his cheeks.


With a gasp and a last spasmodic flinch, Jarod blinked awake and saw Parker sitting in front of him. "Parker?" he breathed. "What happened?" his voice rose fearfully.


"You're okay." Parker soothed. "Everything is fine."


"Where am I?" Jarod stammered. "Why is it so dark?"


Parker remembered that Major Charles had said Jarod always woke from the nightmares feeling disoriented and confused.


"You're okay." She repeated. Parker pulled her frightened companion into her arms and murmured, "Everything is fine." She could feel Jarod's body trembling against her own. His breathing came in deep ragged gasps.


"I had the dream again." Jarod moaned with sudden clarity.


Parker nodded. "Can you remember anything?"


Jarod squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a moment, desperately trying to recall some fragment of the nightmare. "No. Nothing." He huffed in defeat.


Parker sighed. "That's okay." She rubbed Jarod's back in a soothing circular motion. After a few minutes, Jarod's breathing calmed and the trembling ceased. "Let's get the hell out of here."


Jarod nodded.


They got back into the car and Parker carefully eased it back onto the highway. They drove in silence for another thirty minutes before Parker's adrenaline began to wear off and she yawned again.


"I'm going to find a place to stop for the night." Parker said.


"I could drive for a while." Jarod volunteered. "Trust me, I will not be sleeping anymore tonight."


Parker shook her head. "No. You haven't had enough rest. I can't in good conscience let you get behind the wheel."


Twenty minutes later, Parker opened the door to their motel room. There was one double bed in the center of the room, a bureau, two chairs and a television set. Evidently, there was a harvest festival of some kind going on in the county this weekend and these simple accommodations were the last ones available in the place.


Jarod followed Parker into the room, carrying her luggage in one hand. He tossed the suitcase onto the bed and plopped his body into one of the chairs. Jarod grabbed the remote control and began flicking his way through the television stations.


"Do you want anything to eat? I could probably get something from room service." Parker asked.


"No. I'll be fine." Jarod answered. He dangled one leg over the arm of the chair nonchalantly. "I'll just watch the news. Find out what is going on in the world."


"If you want to lie down," Parker said. "I won't mind."


"Like I said, Parker. I won't be sleeping again tonight." Jarod sighed.


Parker stood beside the chair. Jarod looked up at her with a look of such weariness and resignation that Parker felt her heart would break. She cautiously ran one hand through Jarod's hair in an intimate caress. His hair was as soft and silky as she remembered it. Parker swallowed guiltily when she realized that she did remember. She remembered the last time she had run her hands through these strands. Parker sighed and pushed the old memory away for the time being.


"We'll get through this, Jarod." She whispered. "You must believe that."


He closed his eyes and nodded sadly. "You had better get some rest." He said neutrally.


Parker kicked off her shoes, removed her suit jacket and crawled into bed without bothering to shed any of her other clothes. As she drifted off to sleep, Jarod flipped through the television channels looking for something to watch.

Disclaimer: The Characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots and The Centre are all property of MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and are used without permission. Blah, blah, blah, yea, yea just get on with it. No money has been involved here and no infringement is intended. 12/10/02



A Not so Perfect World Part 3


Blue Cove, Delaware


By Phenyx




Parker woke to the delightful aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She yawned, stretched and looked around the room. Jarod was sitting in the chair where Parker had left him last night. He was sipping from a large green Styrofoam cup and reading a newspaper.


He had recently taken a shower. Parker could see that his hair was still wet and curling slightly around his ears. It was obvious that Jarod had been true to his word and had not gotten any additional rest during the night. His eyes were rimmed in red and he frowned in concentration as he tried to read the newspaper.


"You look like death warmed over." Parker said.


Jarod nodded. "I feel worse than I look."


Parker swung her legs to the floor as she looked Jarod over carefully. "You look bad, Jarod." She stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of him. With her fingertips, Parker gently traced the circles under Jarod's eyes. His lids fluttered shut and her soft touch became a full caress as he leaned his stubbly cheek into her palm.


"One hour of sleep a night isn't enough, Jarod." Parker said with concern.


"I'm a pretender. I've been trained to go for days without sleep." Jarod said softly.


"Days, maybe." Parker agreed. "But I think that you may have gone for weeks now without really sleeping. Perhaps months."


Jarod sighed, then he pulled away from her touch, indicating that this subject was not open for discussion. "I stole twenty dollars from your wallet." He said as he handed her a green cup. "I bought breakfast and a bottle of aspirin."


Parker sipped at her cup and savored the still-hot coffee as it slid down her throat.


Jarod wordlessly handed her a wheat bagel from a bag on the table.


Holding the bagel in her mouth, Parker gripped her coffee in one hand and hoisted her overnight case in the other as she headed for the bathroom.


"Do you want any cream cheese?" Jarod asked her back.


Parker mumbled something unintelligible through a mouthful of bagel and closed the bathroom door behind her.


"Guess not." Jarod assumed. He went back to reading the paper while the water turned on in the shower.


Once Parker had washed and dressed, they checked out of the motel and resumed their journey. They spent most of the day in the same way they had spent the previous afternoon. Parker drove across several states while Jarod slouched wearily in the seat beside her.


They stopped occasionally for gasoline or food. But for the most part they just talked or listened to the radio. The two managed to find a comfortable camaraderie, an equality that had never been a part of their relationship before. The one or two arguments they did have were little more than playful debates about trivial nonsense.


When they finally reached Delaware, they drove to the airport where Parker had left her car yesterday morning. She turned the rental car in at the appropriate desk and paid the additional fees. Parker hadn't intended to have the car for more than one day and she had exceeded the mileage limitations quite a bit.


After transferring to Parker's car, they headed for Blue Cove. They stopped in the city to eat dinner and do a little shopping. Jarod needed everything. Parker bought him razors, a toothbrush and other assorted toiletries. She took him to several clothing stores and spent an entertaining couple of hours dressing him properly.


If left to his own devices, Jarod would have walked into the nearest shop and grabbed four of whatever first caught his eye. But Parker would not allow that. She didn't know how long Jarod would be staying so she made sure that he could appropriately dress for anything.


Parker even bought him a warm suede coat and a blue suit. She cringed at having to buy the suit off the rack. Jarod would have looked much better in a tailored ensemble but circumstances forced them to go with the more convenient availability.


"I don't want you going to so much trouble, Parker." Jarod had whined at one point.


"Be quiet, Rat." Parker ordered. "I like to shop. I have plenty of money. You need clothes. End of discussion." She snapped. Parker's father had left her a wealthy woman after all.


Jarod was juggling several bags and three boxes of shoes when Parker tossed a set of silk pajamas at him. He blinked at them in confusion.


Parker rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you've never seen pajamas before." She grumped at him.


"Oh no." Jarod replied quickly. "I've seen them. I just never bothered to own a pair." He blinked again. "I can just wear the sweat pants." He said as he handed the silk back to her.


"Nope." Parker demanded. "If you are living in my house you will wear pajamas to bed."


"But." Jarod started. He swallowed hard when he suddenly recognized that he and Parker would indeed be living together for the next several days, at least.


"Jarod." Parker said firmly. "You will wear pajamas to bed, or you will wear nothing to bed. Understood?"


Jarod stared at her for a moment then asked. "Do I get to choose?"


"No." Parker taunted him curtly. "I decide." She took the outfit and headed toward the checkout. "You'll wear these at night until I tell you to take them off." She wiggled her eyebrows at him suggestively.


Jarod rewarded her with a huge smile. Parker felt triumphant. She loved teasing him. Jarod would get the most incredible smile on his face whenever he realized that Parker was making fun of him. She found herself kidding with him more often as their time together increased.


A small part of Parker's brain wondered if the pretender was even aware that their lighthearted jests were a form of flirtation. As she waited in line for the cashier, Parker turned and looked at Jarod. He stood several feet away, waiting patiently. His face was still ravaged by exhaustion but he was still good looking. Jarod was attractive enough to draw interested glances from two young women who walked past the shop.


"Hi there." One of the women purred as she went by.


"Hello." Jarod nodded back obliviously.


Parker shook her head and sighed. Jarod was absolutely clueless.


She paid the cashier and led Jarod out to the car where he piled his new clothes into the trunk. It was dark and getting quite late when Parker made one more stop at the grocery store near her home.


Parker usually hated buying groceries. It was totally different from clothes shopping. She only did it when absolutely necessary and then it was a rushed affair. Parker normally dashed in and out of the store with only a few items in her bag, most of them from the frozen food isle.


Parker's aversion to the grocer's was the main reason so many of her meals were ordered and delivered to her door.


With Jarod along, the chore became an entirely different experience. Parker watched with amused fascination as he wandered through the store. Anything that happened to catch Jarod's eye seemed to find its way into the cart. Certain items of the snack variety magically multiplied in the basket whenever Parker wasn't looking.


They were in the produce section and Jarod was demonstrating his ability to juggle when Parker realized that the single box of Twinkies that had been in the cart a moment ago had been joined by three more boxes.


"No way, Jarod." She scolded him. "Put these back." Parker said sternly as she handed two of the boxes to him. Jarod shrugged, took the Twinkies and obediently headed back to the snack aisle.


Parker was choosing a dozen eggs when Jarod returned and she realized her mistake. Jarod no longer had the Twinkies she had sent him away with. But he hadn't come back empty handed. Parker sighed and shook her head as Jarod gracefully flipped three boxes of pop-tarts into the cart.


"How can you eat so much junk and still stay so trim?" She asked him laughingly.


Jarod shrugged. "There's this woman I know who makes sure I do a lot of running." He smirked.


"Uh huh." Parker said. "A personal trainer, eh?"


He smiled. "Something like that."


"I'm not chasing you anymore, Jarod." Parker quipped.


Jarod leaned against the shopping cart and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not sure about that." He said narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "I somehow get the feeling that there is still a little cat and mouse game going on here."


Perhaps Jarod wasn't as clueless as Parker had thought.


"Do you?" Parker asked nonchalantly.


"Yep." Jarod nodded. He began pushing the cart as he followed Parker down the next aisle.


"What are you going to do about it?" Parker asked.


"I haven't figured that out yet." Jarod answered. "But I will, eventually."


"Well," Parker teased. "Keep me informed if you happen to come up with anything interesting."


"You'll be the first one to know, Miss Parker." Jarod purred. "I promise you that."


Parker stared in wonder at the fully stocked shelves in her kitchen an hour later. She couldn't remember ever using the pantry shelves. Now there seemed to be enough supplies lining them to feed a small army.


She shook her head in amusement. "We bought a lot of food, Jarod."


Jarod shrugged. "I guess it will take us a while to eat it." He shrugged.


Parker didn't miss the significance of his statement. Parker hated sugary chemical concoctions. So, as long as there were Twinkies and pop-tarts in the cupboard, Jarod would have to stay to eat them.


"You can stay as long as you like, you know." She told him suddenly.


Jarod nodded. "This is the first place my parents will look for me."


"So what." Parker said harshly. "Do you honestly think I'd let them take you back to that hospital?"


"You shouldn't need to protect me from my own parents." He mumbled.


"I'm not protecting you from anyone." Parker said sternly. "I've brought you back to visit with Sydney. And if a few discussions with your own personal shrink just happen to help you as well, then that's just a bonus."


Jarod gave her a small smile of appreciation.


"Now its late. We'll call Sydney in the morning." Parker stretched. Jarod followed Parker through the house as she pulled fresh linen from a closet. He helped her make the bed in the guest room where she had put all of the things they had bought for Jarod earlier.


"Try to get some sleep." She urged as Parker started to leave the room.


"Miss Parker?" Jarod's voice stopped her just as she reached the door. She glanced at him expectantly. "Thank you." He paused a moment. "Thank you for rescuing me from the institute."


Parker smiled. "I'm not sure I would call it a rescue, Jarod."


"I would." He replied. "That's the second time you've come to my rescue." He whispered.


Parker, one hand on the doorknob, stared sadly at the floor. "That first time was so very long ago." She said softly. Guilt churned in her gut.


"I thought you had forgotten." Jarod said breathlessly.


Parker shook her head then quickly crossed the room to where Jarod sat on the bed. "I haven't forgotten." She whispered, taking his face between her hands. "No matter how hard I tried to, I could never forget."


Jarod looked up into her face. His hands came up to rest possessively on her hips.


Gently caressing his cheeks with her thumbs, Parker leaned forward so that her hair fell in a veil around Jarod's head. "No one is going to hurt you anymore today, Jarod." She whispered fervently.


His lips trembled as he shakily responded, "Not today."


Jarod's tear filled eyes squeezed shut and he pulled Parker closer. He leaned his forehead against her stomach and sighed. The sound was a mixture of content and longing.


"Not today." She agreed. Parker held him that way for a long time.


Once Jarod had settled into bed, Parker wished him goodnight and headed to her room. Her bedroom had it's own bath so Parker took a long relaxing shower before crawling between the sheets of her bed.


Despite her fatigue, Parker laid there for a long time, staring at the ceiling. She gazed sadly at the plaster overhead and allowed the memories to wash over her.


In had been December twenty eighth. Parker remembered the exact date because it had happened one week before her sixteenth birthday. That had been the day she first learned what horrors hid in The Centre hallways. It had been the first time she had ever been ashamed to be a Parker. December twenty eighth had been the day her life changed irrevocably. It was the day her childhood ended.





-------





December 28, 1975





Miss Parker was on winter break from school so her father had put her to work at The Centre. "You have to learn the business from the bottom up, Angel." Her father had told her. So Miss Parker had started as a file clerk. Nothing confidential. She just delivered low security level correspondence and filed mountains of paperwork.


It was dull work but Miss Parker enjoyed it. She and her father drove into work together each morning, making Miss Parker feel very grown up and important. But Miss Parker's father had left The Centre late this morning on a business trip to New York. He wouldn't return until nearly midnight. Mr. Parker had made arrangements for a driver to take his daughter home once she finished the workday.


Miss Parker had just gotten her first paycheck. She felt ridiculously proud of herself. She was desperate to show her hard earned treasure to her father. But he, as usual, wasn't around. So Miss Parker went looking for the one person who would be sure to share her enthusiasm.


With Sydney on his annual holiday sabbatical, Miss Parker had expected to find Jarod confined to his room. But he had not been there. Mid- afternoons usually had Jarod scheduled in the sim lab when Sydney was around, so Miss Parker had looked there next. She frowned in confusion when she was again unsuccessful in locating him.


Miss Parker couldn't say what had drawn her to SL-23. Some unseen force had pulled her to a secluded wing in that level. As she walked cautiously down the corridor, a strange crackle of static could be heard echoing in the halls. A young, frightened Miss Parker jumped when the sound was quickly followed by a low moan.


Miss Parker rounded a corner and found Dr. Raines standing in the middle of a room full of equipment. Sucking hard on his ever-present cigarette, puffs of smoke hissed out of his nostrils like a dragon as Raines stood over a low table. Lying on the table was Jarod.


He had been strapped down at the wrists and ankles. Wearing nothing but his underwear, Jarod's skin was shiny with perspiration and he breathed in shallow gasps. Parker was enthralled by the slim lines of Jarod's figure. No longer in the body of a boy, Jarod's broad shoulders and hairless chest were beginning to show the sculpted muscles of a man.


"Well?" Raines growled in his raspy voice. "Describe it to me."


Miss Parker could see Jarod shivering as he stuttered. "I, I don't know."


Raines glanced at a wrinkled, gray-haired technician standing nearby and gave a curt nod. It was only then that Miss Parker noticed the wires leading from a large box beside the old man to electrodes taped to Jarod's smooth flesh. The young man had wires attached to his chest at the nipples and to each leg along the inner thigh.


With a flick of the technician's wrist, the crackling sound returned and Jarod's body started to shake violently. After a few seconds, the sound stopped and Jarod collapsed against the table.


"Now will you talk?" Raines hissed in the boy's ear.


Jarod sobbed softly. "I don't know. I don't know." He whimpered. "If I knew I would tell you, I swear."


Dr. Raines looked at the technician and said, "Increase the voltage another level, Mr. Heinrich."


The old tech fiddled with some knobs and then flicked his wrist again.


Jarod's back arched against the table and he shrieked a high-pitched scream of misery. Miss Parker's own scream rose to join it as she dashed into the room. With little regard for the consequences, Miss Parker grabbed the wires as they dangled in the air and yanked them away from the horrible box. Sparks flew from the machine as the wires snapped out of the connectors.


Jarod's body immediately slumped back onto the table.


"What do you think you are doing, Miss Parker." Raines snarled.


Miss Parker turned on him and in a fit of rage and she confronted Raines for the first time in her life. "How dare you!" She yelled. "My father will hear about this, I assure you. You are going to be very sorry."


"You're the one who's going to be sorry, Miss Parker." Raines snarled. "Your father will not appreciate your interference in this simulation."


Miss Parker was frightened suddenly, but she squashed the feeling, hiding it before Raines could see any vulnerability. "Jarod is Sydney's project. You have no right to abuse him like this just because Sydney isn't here."


"Get out of my way." Raines growled as he moved to retrieve the wires from the floor.


Miss Parker threw herself into Raines' path. Her only thought was to protect Jarod.


Raines pulled a hand back as if to slap her. Miss Parker grinned at him in triumph. "Just you try it, you stinking freak!" She yelled. "See how my father reacts when he finds out you like to hit girls. Especially when it's HIS little girl!"


Raines frowned with indecision then and Miss Parker immediately knew that she had won.


"Be careful Miss Parker." Raines warned. "Your father's influence can't always protect you."


"It works for now." She hissed.


"You should stay out of things that you don't understand, Miss Parker." Raines told her. "You are the one that will have to face your father's wrath, not me."


With that, Raines turned on his heel and left.


Miss Parker turned slowly and began to unfasten the straps on Jarod's wrists. Slicing a menacing glare at the technician she snarled orders through clenched teeth. "Get him a blanket and some water." She demanded.


By the time she had freed Jarod and removed the wires from his body, the tech had returned. Miss Parker snatched the blanket from his grip and snapped, "Get out!" The old man didn't wait around for any further orders.


Miss Parker gently wrapped the wool around Jarod's shoulders. She tried to help him stand but Jarod's legs gave out and he slumped to the floor.


"Jarod!"


Trembling and clutching at the blanket for warmth, Jarod rolled onto his back and gave Miss Parker the strangest look she had ever seen. His breath came in little gasps as he whispered harshly, "Miss Parker? Why did you interrupt the simulation?" He shivered violently. "Dr. Raines will be very disappointed. You will get into trouble."


Miss Parker's mouth dropped open. "He was hurting you." She exclaimed. "I couldn't let him do that."


Jarod's eyes were as large as saucers. He looked around in a daze of confusion. "But, simulations sometimes require a test of physical endurance." He whispered.


Miss Parker wrapped one arm around Jarod's shoulders and pulled him close. Her lower lip trembled as she began to realize the abuse that her friend had been suffering during the years she had known him. She sniffed and rubbed a shirtsleeve across her face. That was when she saw two guards standing at the door.


"You leave him alone!" Miss Parker yelled. She pulled Jarod closer in a protective gesture. "My father will hear about this when he returns." She scolded them. "You touch us and my father will have your heads on a platter." She snarled. The two men backed away and into the shadows of the hallway.


"Miss Parker." Jarod whispered. "Your father will be angry with you. Mr. Parker knows all about this simulation."


Miss Parker's tears had come then. She knew that her father would be furious with her. Her father knew everything that went on at The Centre. Surely he knew about this dreadful mistreatment. Miss Parker felt responsible for her father's complicity to Jarod's injuries.


"I'm sorry, Miss Parker." Jarod stared at her with sympathy.


She sniffed and straightened her spine bravely. "I'm not." Miss Parker declared. "I'm not sorry. My father won't be back for hours and they can't do anything until he returns." She began running her fingers through Jarod's hair, caressing the dampness away from his brow.


"They won't hurt you. I won't let them." Miss Parker promised.


Jarod stared at her, dumbfounded. "You will get into trouble." He repeated.


"That doesn't matter." Miss Parker curled into a ball around Jarod's prone figure. Her hair floated around his face like a scented halo.


"No one will hurt you anymore today, Jarod." She whispered.


"Not today." He murmured reverently.


"Not today." She reassured him.


Jarod's chocolate eyes shimmered with unshed tears. In a stunned voice he whispered, "You are risking your own well-being to prevent harm to me."


Miss Parker began to cry harder, tears ran down her cheeks and dropped onto Jarod's blanket.


With a gasp Jarod exclaimed, "You are crying for me. Why?"


"Because seeing you in pain, hurts me too." She said haltingly.





----





Parker stared at ceiling. She ignored the tears that ran down the side of her face at the painful memories.


She remembered that the two of them had sat there for hours, clinging to each other in the dark. It had taken some time for Jarod to internalize what Parker had done. Her actions had confused him badly at first.


What must it have been like for him, Parker wondered? It had been the first time anyone had risked anything for his sake. It had been the first time he could remember anyone trying to protect him.


"Is this what 'safe and secure' feels like, Miss Parker?" Jarod had asked her that day.


"Yes." She had whispered. Then Parker had kissed him. She had kissed his lips with a bittersweet tenderness reserved for young lovers. It had been a kiss of promise. It had been a kiss of goodbye and she had known it even then.


Parker could recall the sudden terrible feeling of dread that had filled her when Mr. Parker had finally returned. He had stormed wordlessly into the room, separated the two children forcefully and dragged Miss Parker away by the arm.


There had been no discussion, no debate. Her tears meant nothing. The next morning Miss Parker had been on a plane for Europe, shipped off to boarding school in Switzerland. Her sixteenth birthday the following week had been a lonely painful experience.


Ten years would pass before she had seen Jarod again. Ten years worth of lies and manipulation from her dear "Daddy" had turned Miss Parker into a model Centre employee. She'd had nothing but contempt left for the pretender until Jarod had escaped and patiently began to rebuild their connection.


Parker sighed heavily. Questions spun through her brain as she tried to get some rest. Could she protect Jarod now? There was no rival to yell at here. There was no foe to battle. Their enemy was Jarod's own mind. How could she fight that?


As Parker drifted to sleep, Ethan's words echoed in her mind again. "Trust your inner sense, Miss Parker."

A Not so Perfect World Part 4


Coffee and Nightmares


By Phenyx 12/12/02




Once Parker had finally drifted off last night, she had slept dreamlessly. She had woken an hour ago feeling well rested and refreshed. She had eventually gotten out of bed and dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a sweater. Parker was sitting at the vanity in her bedroom brushing her hair when she heard the muffled sound of glass breaking in another part of the house.


Parker walked down the hall and peeked into the empty guest room. The bed covers were wrinkled as though someone had lain on top of the blankets for a time. But the covers hadn't been pulled back.


Jarod had evidently spent part of the night in the living room. As Parker wandered through and passed the couch, she could see several magazines and newspapers lying on the cushions and scattered on the floor. The coffee table was littered with articles that had been clipped from the newspapers. A quick glance told Parker that the stories dealt with a variety of topics. There was no consistent theme.


The television was on and tuned in to an episode of M*A*S*H*.


Parker found Jarod in the kitchen. He hadn't noticed her presence so she stopped and stood in the doorway, watching him. Jarod was dressed in the black silk pajamas that she had bought for him the day before. He pushed the long sleeves of the shirt up to his elbows and crouched on the floor next to a shattered glass, a dustpan and brush in his hands.


Jarod was mumbling to himself as he swept up the broken pieces. When he tilted the fragments into the garbage can, the smooth sleeves of his shirt slid down his arms and he shoved the cuffs back up to his elbows with a frustrated motion. Jarod very deliberately put the garbage can and other items back where they belonged.


Jarod then went to the cupboard and pulled a cup from the shelf. He carefully placed the cup on the counter and swore softly when his shirtsleeves again slid down to his wrists. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the carafe. Jarod then stirred two spoonfuls of sugar into the mug, pushed his shirtsleeves up again and added two more scoops of sweetener to his drink.


Miss Parker watched silently as Jarod moved to the refrigerator to fetch a carton of milk. When the sleeves of his shirt slipped down his arms for the fourth time, Jarod shoved the refrigerator door closed, and slammed the milk carton onto the countertop with a growl. He angrily reached up between his shoulder blades with one hand and yanked the shirt over his head without undoing any of the buttons.


Muttering a slew of unintelligible oaths between clenched teeth, Jarod furiously crumbled the shirt into a ball and hurled the silk across the room.


As the black cloth fluttered softly to the floor, Jarod saw Miss Parker standing in the doorway. He swallowed hard and sighed.


Parker glared at the puddle of silk on the floor then glanced at Jarod questioningly. "Temper, temper." She scolded him.


He shrugged. "I'm sorry, Parker. It was irritating me. I don't like the long sleeves."


Parker smiled at him in consolation. "Don't worry about it." She said as she stooped down to pick up the shirt, folding it carefully as she stood.


Parker crossed her arms and gazed intently at Jarod. He obviously hadn't gotten any rest during the night. His eyes were badly bloodshot and his anxiety was almost a tangible thing.


Wearing the silk pajama pants low on his hips, Jarod still provided Miss Parker with an admirable view. His torso was sculpted and muscular. A definitive line traced down the middle of his body from the base of his throat past his navel to disappear into the elastic waist of the pajamas.


"But you said that I had to wear them." Jarod mocked.


Her smile turned predatory. "That'll do." Parker said fluttering her hand at him to indicate his current attire.


"Then you approve?" Jarod asked playfully. His bare chest rippled as Jarod crossed his arms, mimicking Parker's stance.


Parker slowly raked her gaze down Jarod's body. "Definitely." She purred.


Jarod managed to act blasé for about five seconds before he shifted uncomfortably and began to blush. "I'll be right back." He mumbled as he scurried from the room.


Parker laughed caustically. "You run and I chase, Jarod!" She called after him.


When Jarod returned a few minutes later, he was clad in tan cargo pants. He wore a white undershirt beneath a black unbuttoned shirt. The shirttails hung around his waist casually.


Parker was pouring herself a cup of coffee. "You didn't sleep last night." She stated.


Jarod shrugged.


"I called Sydney. He should be here shortly." Parker said slowly. Not knowing how to broach the subject, Parker just went at it head on. "I think we need to learn more about this dream of yours."


Jarod glanced up from his coffee in alarm. "I don't remember anything." He said.


"Sydney can help you remember. You know that." She said gently.


Jarod looked around the room nervously. "But there has to be a reason that I can't recall it. I don't think I want to remember."


Parker sighed. "Your subconscious is trying to tell you something, Jarod. Something you would rather not face." She watched Jarod carefully as he plucked an imaginary piece of lint from his new pants.


"You can't keep this up much longer." She whispered. Parker crossed the room to stand beside him. "We need to do this."


"I know." Jarod responded so softly that Parker barely heard his words.


Parker patted his arm in understanding.


When the doorbell rang a moment later they both walked to the door. Expecting Sydney, Parker was a bit taken aback to find Charles and Margaret Lambert standing on her porch.


"I want to see Jarod." Margaret said sternly.


Parker glared at the other woman for a moment and then politely stepped back and allowed the older couple to enter.


Margaret hurried to Jarod's side and placed a hand on his arm possessively. "How are you, dear?" she asked him.


"I'm okay, Mother." Jarod smiled gently. "I'm fine."


Parker scoffed. "Like Hell you are." She grumbled.


"You shouldn't have taken him from the hospital!" The older woman scolded.


"What hospital?" Parker had not yet closed the door so Sydney, limping slowly up the sidewalk, had heard the comment from Jarod's mother.


Margaret gasped when she saw Jarod's old mentor. "You stay away from my son." She yelled.


Sydney blinked and lowered his head shamefully. He entered the room and turning slowly, he pushed the door closed behind him. Sydney understood this woman's anger. To a great extent, Sydney felt that he deserved it.


"Maggie, calm down." Major Charles said.


"I won't." Mrs. Lambert said angrily. "I refuse to talk calmly to the fiend who destroyed our lives."


Parker watched Jarod's distraught face as she flared in Sydney's defense. "Sydney didn't destroy anyone. He didn't take Jarod away from you."


"No." Margaret growled. "He was just the zoo keeper." The woman turned on Miss Parker. "You stole him. You Parkers. The Parkers took my beautiful boys away from me. You tortured my sons and killed my poor Kyle."


Now it was Sydney's turn to defend Miss Parker. "Mrs. Lambert." He said firmly. "I can sympathize with your feelings of resentment toward me and toward The Centre. But I assure you, Miss Parker had nothing to do with Jarod's abduction or imprisonment. She never harmed Kyle in any way."


Margaret stood boldly before Miss Parker and asked her coldly, "You spent more than five years chasing Jarod, with the specific intent of putting him back in that place."


Without batting an eye, Parker crossed her arms and glared at Jarod's mother. "Yes." She answered regally.


His mother took Jarod by the arm and said, "Come on. We are going home now."


Parker planted herself firmly in front of the door. "No one is going anywhere." She ordered.


"How do plan to stop me?" Margaret asked.


"By force if need be." Parker snarled. "It is out of respect for Jarod that I don't kick your ass right now."


"Parker." Jarod moaned. "I really can't deal with this right now." He pleaded. "Please."


Major Charles spoke diplomatically. "Let's all just settle down." He turned to his wife. "Maggie, I believe that Sydney and Miss Parker are just as concerned about Jarod as we are."


The older woman huffed.


"Let's all agree to try to do what's best for him." The major added, glancing toward the others for a consensus.


Several long moments passed while Margaret looked toward Jarod questioningly. His brown eyes pleaded with her. When she nodded curtly, the men in the room sighed with relief.


"What hospital?" Sydney repeated. "Jarod, are you ill?"


Parker answered. "Jarod has been suffering from a recurring dream for several months now. The dream takes the form of night terrors: screaming, sleep walking, lashing out at people and objects around him. The dream occurs within fifty to sixty minutes of falling asleep."


She glanced at Jarod for confirmation. He nodded miserably. Parker continued. "So, of course, his resolution has been to stop sleeping." She sighed heavily. "At this point he is displaying all the symptoms of severe sleep deprivation. He can't concentrate. He's easily confused and irritated. He's anxious at times, manic at others. He pumps himself full of caffeine and sugar. Sometimes his hands or legs tremble uncontrollably."


Sydney frowned. "How long have you gone with out sleep Jarod?" He asked.


Jarod shrugged nonchalantly. "I fell asleep just the other night." He said defensively.


"In the last seventy-two hours, he has slept for only two." Parker told them. To Sydney, Parker said, "We need to know what's going on in that dream."


Sydney nodded.


Jarod squirmed anxiously. "Do we have to do this now?" he whined.


"Sooner would be better than later." Parker said thoughtfully. "But I have a feeling this is going to be a long day so why don't we all have some coffee and let Jarod eat his breakfast."


Jarod led the group toward the kitchen. Parker took a few moments to scoop up the newspapers and things Jarod had left lying about. She folded everything sloppily into a wad and stuffed it unceremoniously into a closet.


The atmosphere in the kitchen was decidedly uncomfortable.


Jarod slouched miserably into one of the chairs at the table. Parker could see how hard this situation was for him. His loyalty was being torn between two sets of people. He was exhausted and emotionally unable to deal with the circumstances.


Parker sighed in an effort to calm herself. She didn't want to add to Jarod's strain. She would try to be on her best behavior with Jarod's parents. But she would find a way to let them know who was in charge here.


"Does everyone want coffee?" Parker asked as she pulled mugs from the cupboard. Without waiting for an answer, she placed the cups on the table.


She placed the full coffee pot and the sugar where everyone could reach them. As a gesture of hospitality, Parker went to the extra effort of getting the creamer bowl from a shelf and filling it with milk before she placed that on the table as well.


Parker stood behind Jarod's chair. She casually caressed the back of his head, smoothing down the tussled hair as she asked him, "What do you want to eat?"


"Eggs would be fine." Jarod mumbled after he took a swallow from his cup.


"Scrambled?" Parker asked, her hands resting gently on his shoulders. "Or would you rather have omelets?"


Jarod looked up at her with wide eyes. "Don't go to any trouble, Parker."


"No trouble at all." Parker assured him. "Because you're going to help." She added with a firm pat on his back.


Jarod flashed an amused grin at Sydney, rolled his eyes and stood. Parker opened the refrigerator and started stacking eggs, tomatoes, and cheese on the counter.


As Jarod pulled a skillet from the rack hanging on the wall, his mother started to rise from her chair. "Let me help you with that, Jarod." She said.


Parker turned and waved her back. "Nonsense." She said. "Sit down and enjoy your coffee, Mrs. Lambert. You are our guests, so please allow me to be gracious and act like a proper hostess for the time being."


Sydney raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had not missed the significance of Parker's words. Knowing Parker the way he did, Sydney doubted that she had spoken inadvertently. The three older adults were being treated as guests in Parker's home while Jarod, even in his weakened state, was helping Parker serve them.


Sydney shook his head. Through her actions, Parker was telling Jarod's parents exactly how things were going to be during this visit. She and Jarod were a pair, separate from the rest of them. With each of Jarod's conforming responses, the message was being driven home further. Sydney didn't think Jarod recognized what Parker was doing. But the frown on Mrs. Lambert's face indicated that she did.


Sydney noticed with concern, that as the two prepared the food, Parker would casually lay a hand on Jarod's forearm or slide her fingertips down his back as she spoke to him. Jarod was bone-tired, looking shaky on his feet and in need of her support. But Sydney wondered if either Parker or Jarod was aware of the increased sense of intimacy they were displaying.


Major Charles valiantly tried to keep polite conversation going. Sydney chatted with him amiably while Jarod's mother carefully watched the young couple prepare the food.


It only took a few minutes to whip up several omelets.


Jarod shoveled his breakfast down. Then he ate most of Parker's as well. When everyone had finished eating, Parker placed the last of the dishes in the sink. Setting the coffee maker to brew another pot, she said, "I suggest we move to the living room."


Jarod sat on the couch and looked up at Parker in trepidation. "I really don't want to do this." He whispered.


Parker perched on the arm of the couch immediately to Jarod's left and patted his shoulder wordlessly.


Sydney sat on the coffee table facing Jarod. Margaret took a seat on the cushion to Jarod's right, while the major sat in the easy chair.


"Are you ready, Jarod?" Sydney asked.


Jarod shrugged.


"Just sit back and relax." Sydney said calmly.


Margaret interrupted, "The doctor at the hospital tried hypnosis to discover the topic of his nightmares. But he wasn't able to get Jarod hypnotized."


Parker scoffed.


Sydney explained, "Jarod has been trained to a very specific method of hypnosis. He should go under very quickly if he cooperates."


Jarod sighed. "I will."


Jarod tilted his neck, rolled his shoulders and shook his hands vigorously in the air for a moment as he relaxed his muscles. He closed his eyes and took several deep, calming breaths.


He sat back and said softly, "I'm ready."


Sydney signaled for silence from the others, then he began to speak carefully and calmly. "Just relax, Jarod. Relax and let your mind go back. You are relaxed, Jarod. You are calm and relaxed. I want you to go back to the night before last. Do you remember that night?"


"Yes." Jarod whispered. "In the car. I am riding in the car with Parker." He smiled. "She makes me laugh."


Sydney looked questioningly at Parker for confirmation on the memory. She nodded and shrugged indifferently at Sydney's surprised look.


"Yes." Sydney went on soothingly. "Parker is there. Tell me how you are feeling, Jarod."


"Warm." Jarod said. "I was cold but now I'm covered up. It's safe here. Smells good."


"Jarod, are you tired?" Sydney asked.


Jarod, eyes still closed, nodded.


"Yes, you are very tired." Sydney told him. "You are falling asleep, now. You cannot keep your eyes open. You are drifting, drifting. You are asleep, Jarod."


Jarod's head slumped to one side and his breathing became very deep and regular.


"You are asleep and the dream is beginning." Sydney said softly.


Jarod's posture changed. His hands, which had been casually in his lap, slid stiffly to his sides, his elbows pressed against the back of the couch. His back straightened and a frown appeared on his face.


Jarod's parents exchanged a worried look.


"Where are you, Jarod?" Sydney asked softly.


Jarod's lower lip trembled slightly. "SL-23." He whispered. "I don't like it here. It is always so cold, so dark." He paused for a heartbeat then Jarod said. "It is the hurting place."


"How old are you, Jarod?" Sydney asked.


Jarod shrugged.


"Are you alone?" Sydney pried.


Jarod's closed eyes moved as though he was looking around the room. "No. I hear voices." He said. His head stopped moving as he looked directly at the people in his mind. "They are talking about Jarod." He whispered.


"Who is? Who is talking about Jarod?" Sydney urged.


"Sydney is." Jarod whimpered. "He is talking with mother and father."


The group gathered in the room frowned at each other in confusion. Jarod's parents had never been to SL-23. This dream was no memory. This was Jarod's subconscious mind creating new events.


"Can you hear the words they are saying?" Sydney asked.


Jarod's frown deepened as he nodded. "They are saying that Jarod is such a good boy. He is such a nice man. They are so proud." He sighed sadly. "They don't know." He whispered.


"What don't they know?" Sydney went on.


Jarod gasped suddenly and his breathing started to speed up. "I can't move." He cried. "I'm tied down."


Jarod's head abruptly turned toward the other direction. His breath came in quick little gasps. "I hear him." Jarod hissed. "The squeaking. I hear him coming."


He fought against the invisible bonds holding him down. "He knows. He knows. Please don't let him hurt me." Jarod said frantically.


"What does he know, Jarod?" Sydney said calmly as he tried to soothe the troubled younger man.


Jarod started to whimper. "He's here. He's here. Dr. Raines is here." His head turned to the other side. He was speaking now to the other people in his dream. "Don't let him hurt me."


Near panic, Jarod tried desperately to free himself from the nonexistent straps binding him. "He has things on a tray. Sharp, shiny things. He knows and he's going to punish me."


"What does Raines know, Jarod?" Sydney repeated.


"Please!" Jarod cried. "I didn't mean it! Please, help me!"


"What does Raines know?" Sydney asked again.


"I'm bad. I have to be punished." Jarod whispered miserably. "I didn't mean it. Please."


Jarod's eyes suddenly snapped open and he glared wild-eyed at something the others could not see. His breath came in ragged gasps as he cried in terror, "Somebody help me!"


"Wake him up!" Parker demanded. "Now!"


Jarod's body suddenly arched and he began to scream in pain.


"Wake him!" Parker yelled.


Sydney spoke over the noise, "Jarod, when I snap my fingers you will wake up. You will wake up feeling refreshed and safe."


"Help Me!" the pretender shrieked in a high-pitched wail of fear.


"You will remember the dream but you will be safe." Sydney said.


"Hurry up!" Parker ordered.


Jarod's voice abruptly dropped several octaves into a growl of demonic rage, "Why won't you help me!" He shouted into Sydney's face.


Sydney's fingers snapped and Jarod gasped into consciousness.


Trembling and breathless, Jarod sprang up from the couch. He put one hand to his ribs, feeling about anxiously. He then examined his hand as though he expected to see blood. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, Jarod wrapped his arms around himself and began deliberately breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth in an obvious attempt to calm down.


Parker walked over to Jarod and placing a hand gently on his arm, she asked, "What did Raines know, Jarod?"


Jarod whirled on her suddenly, "Can't you give me one minute of peace?" he hissed furiously.


Sydney spoke gently. "Jarod, there is no reason to get angry with Miss Parker."


Jarod turned his back toward them and said quickly, "I'm not angry."


Parker tilted her head at Jarod and frowned. She could tell that he was angry, very angry indeed. Parker's inner sense suddenly clicked on in her head with an intensity she had never experienced before. Jarod's anger was the key.


'This is how Ethan feels it all the time.' She thought irrelevantly.


With an abrupt clarity, Parker could see what Jarod was trying to hide from her, from his parents and most importantly from himself. Jarod himself couldn't see it. He didn't want to.


Parker would have to be the one to show it to him. She hoped that she could survive the ordeal. She prayed that he would forgive her when she was done. Parker took a deep breath and did what her gut was telling her to do.


"Bull shit." She snarled. "You're so angry right now you want to rip someone's head off."


Jarod frowned at her.


"Admit it, Jarod." Parker said, shoving him roughly. "You are walking a fine line, so close to blind rage that it scares you." She shoved him again pushing the fragile limits of his temper.


"Miss Parker," Jarod's father rose and tried to pull her away from his son.


Parker grabbed Major Charles by the arms and squeezed his biceps slightly. "I have to do this now. Trust me." She whispered.


Turning toward Jarod again she stalked him as he backed across the room. "You're aching to hit something, break something. Someone." She hissed. With a tilt of her head she added, "You are so full of rage you could kill."


Jarod put his hands over his ears. "No. I could never." He said mournfully.


"Yes, you could." Parker taunted. "There are dark places inside you. Dark places capable of evil things. That's what Raines knew. He knew what you could become."


When Jarod stepped away from her, Parker followed. "He trained you for it." She snarled. "Just like he trained me. Like he trained Lyle."


Jarod clenched his fists at his sides and growled, "No, Parker you are wrong. I'm not like Lyle."


"But you could be." She hissed cruelly. "That same darkness and evil waits inside you."


"Back off, Miss Parker." Jarod's mother grabbed Parker by the arm and pulled her away. "You have no right to treat him this way. You aren't part of this. You're not even in the dream."


Parker smiled at Margaret predatorily. "Why wasn't I part of your dream, Jarod?" she said.


"I don't know." Jarod yelled.


"Yes. You do." Parker yelled back. "What would have happened if I had been in your dream, Jarod?"


Jarod stomped angrily to the fireplace and pounded on the mantel in frustration. "How the hell should I know?" he growled.


"You're the genius." Parker shouted. "Figure it out!"


Jarod huffed for a moment then yelled. "Nothing. Nothing would have happened."


"Why?" Parker purred.


Jarod abruptly became very still. He stared at her with wide frightened eyes. "You know why." He whispered.


"Yes." Parker admitted. "Say it."


Jarod turned his back to her again to cling tightly to the mantel. Very quietly he said. "You wouldn't have let Raines hurt me."


"Honey." His mother said to Jarod. "This was a dream. Your father and I would never let anyone hurt you."


Parker responded viciously. "You already did."


Jarod whirled on Parker. "Shut up!" he hollered. "You just shut up!" Jarod snatched a picture frame from the mantel and threw it across the room where it shattered against the opposite wall.


Parker fought hard not to flinch at the fury in Jarod's face. She yelled at him instead. "Tell them. You tell them or I will."


"No." Jarod growled. He grabbed Parker by the shoulders and shook her hard.


Margaret was getting angry herself now. "What are you talking about? I've never hurt my son, ever."


Still held firmly in Jarod's grip, Parker snarled. "No. But you let them hurt him."


Jarod snarled in fury and pulled one arm back. Parker saw the blow coming and managed to duck before Jarod could hit her. "Shut up, shut up shut up!" he screamed.


When Jarod swung at her again, Parker stepped nimbly away. He was too tired. Fatigue made him too slow. Parker's training kept her barely ahead of him. When she popped up behind him, Parker lashed out with her bare foot against the back of his knee and Jarod went down with a crash.


Lying in a pile on the floor Jarod moaned, "Don't do this to me, Parker. Please don't do this."


Parker crouched beside him and pulled Jarod into her arms. While the three older adults watched, Parker hushed, "I'm not doing this to you Jarod. You are doing it to yourself. You are letting it destroy you."


Stroking his back soothingly, Parker went on. "Its safe for you to get angry at me, isn't it? You can yell and scream and even hit me. It doesn't make you a bad person does it?"


Jarod’s head was buried against Parker's stomach as he shook his head. "No." he mumbled into her shirt. "You get angry at me all the time. We get angry at each other but it never really matters. You always forgive me."


Parker bent her head to press her forehead against Jarod's back. "They will forgive you too, Jarod. It's okay to be angry with the people we care about. It doesn't mean we love them any less. You need to trust in their feelings for you."


Parker looked up to see Jarod's mother sitting on the floor on the other side of Jarod.


"I don't understand." Margaret whispered.


A single tear ran down Parker's cheek as she gazed at the other woman. "You can't." Parker told her. "You would have to understand what it means to be a child. Waiting. A child waiting for the feel of a mother's arms." Another tear rolled down her cheek. "A mother who never comes."


Jarod rolled onto his back and looked up at Parker. They exchanged a look of shared pain.


Parker inhaled then went on. "You can't begin to understand the desperation that forces a child to forget rather than face the disappointment. It's easier somehow, to forget ever feeling loved rather than face the fact that you'll never get that feeling back."


Margaret took her son's hand. "Jarod, we never stopping loving you."


Jarod looked at her, his lips trembling. The anger and hurt that he had been denying him self took form as Jarod asked one question. "Why?" he asked meekly, "Why didn't you come and get me?"


The older woman sighed in defeat.


Jarod sat up straighter, his voice growing stronger he said, "You knew the Parkers. Before I was even born you knew Catherine Parker. You knew they had me at The Centre."


Margaret nodded sadly and glanced toward her husband.


Turning to his father, Jarod said. "You told me that you tried to help Catherine Parker rescue me. You took a bullet in the back during the attempt, courtesy of Mr. Raines. Why didn't you ever try again? Why did you leave me there?"


Major Charles said, "Jarod, they had Kyle. They threatened to kill him if we tried anything. And we had Emily to think about by then. We had to protect her."


Jarod sighed. "I know that. My head knows that." He kicked angrily at the leg of the coffee table. "But knowing doesn't make it hurt any less." His voice dropped to a harsh whisper. "Their safety was more important than mine. Simple mathematics."


Jarod pulled his knees close to his chest and buried his head in his arms. "Emily is my sister," he heaved. "I love her. But you have no idea how much I envy her." His voice came out in a sob.


"Sometimes I hate her." Jarod growled. "That's an awful thing to say, I know. It's irrational but I can't help how I feel."


"This wasn't Emily's fault." Margaret tried to sooth her son. Rubbing soft circles on his back she said, "It was a terrible thing that happened to you. But you can't blame your sister for having the life that was taken from you."


Jarod's head snapped up and he glared at his mother, "It wasn't fair!" He wailed. "What did I do to deserve what happened to me?" Jarod's face crumbled into tears.


"I waited so long." He breathed. Wrapping his arms around himself, Jarod started rocking back and forth. "I waited and waited for you to come and get me. You'd told me I was going to a special school. For a long time I thought The Centre was just a school."


Jarod looked up at Sydney miserably. "You said I was there because I was special."


Sydney nodded. "Yes, I know."


"All you did was hurt me." Jarod rasped.


"I know." Sydney whispered. He knelt carefully beside Jarod on the floor and wrapped one arm around the trembling shoulders. "I regret what was done to you, Jarod. But I cannot say that I regret having spent those years with you." Sydney said. "One day, I will go to meet my maker. He will ask me to justify my life and I will point to you. Whether that earns me a ticket to salvation or eternal damnation I cannot say. But you have been my life, Jarod."


Jarod leaned his head wearily against Sydney's shoulder and allowed the older man to hug him tightly. "I'd have done anything for you, Sydney." He whispered.


"I know." Sydney said.


Jarod sat curled in Sydney's embrace for a time. "I'm so tired." He sighed.


"Come on, Jarod." Parker helped the two men up off the floor. "You are going to get some sleep. I think we are all emotionally drained right now and could use some rest. Sydney, would you be kind enough to show the Lamberts the guest room?"


Sydney nodded.


Parker led a dazed and weary Jarod toward her room at the back of the house. He allowed her to remove his outer shirt and lie him down on the bed without comment. Parker went into the attached bathroom and ran some cold water into a glass. She rummaged in the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of aspirin. She shook two tablets into her hand and then returned to give them to Jarod.


"Listen." Jarod whispered harshly. His chocolate eyes were wide and filled with the lost look of a child. His lips trembled. "I can hear her crying."


Parker tilted her head and listened. She could just barely hear Margaret's soft sobs through the walls.


"I made my mother cry. She must hate me." Jarod said. Tears began to trail silently down the sides of his face as he stared forlornly at the ceiling.


Parker set the pills and glass of water down on the end table and sat on the bed beside Jarod. "You didn't make her cry, Jarod." Parker soothed. She caressed the side of his face gently. "She loves you very much. And right now you are in pain. Seeing you in pain makes her hurt too."


Jarod sniffed. "I've been hurting for so long, Parker."


Parker stretched out beside him and nodded. "I know. Its hard to imagine how to stop the ache."


Jarod nodded.


Parker placed one hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes. He seemed so lost. So alone. In many ways, he was still the child that had been locked away so long ago. He seemed so desperate and lonely. Parker saw her own loneliness reflected in his eyes. Without thought or reason, Parker lowered her head and kissed Jarod tenderly on the lips.


"Maybe," she whispered. "We can find a way through this pain together."

Note: This chapter is rated R for graphic sexual content. If you are under 17 please do not read this chapter. Don't blame me if you choose to ignore the rating and you get all embarrassed.


A Not so Perfect World Part 5


Finding Solace


By Phenyx



Jarod gazed at Parker with a startled, frightened look in his eyes. She leaned against his chest and kissed him again, sucking gently on his lower lip.


Parker felt a terrible need to touch him. She wanted to try to ease his troubled soul. Take his pain away. But deep inside, Parker knew that she needed to find solace for herself as well. The Centre had left them both so lost, searching for answers that never really filled the void in their lives.


Parker sat up, looked into his troubled face and smiled sadly. Jarod had been right. There was more to their relationship than running and chasing. There had always been a connection between them, a slender thread of trust that had made them emotionally dependent upon each other. No matter what had happened between them, The Centre had never been able to break that connection.


She stroked Jarod's cheek, running the pad of her thumb across his lips. Gently clasping his shoulder, Parker pulled him into a sitting position. Very slowly, using both hands she tugged his undershirt out of his waistband. The backs of her hands caressed the length of his torso as Parker drew the shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor.


"Parker," he whispered haltingly.


Pushing him back down against the pillows, Parker began nibbling gently on his neck. "No more fighting, Jarod." She murmured against his skin. "We've had enough misery in our lives. Its time we stopped hurting each other."


Jarod squeezed his eyes shut tightly and balled his hands into fists, wads of the blanket beneath him clenched tightly between his fingers.


When Parker ran her fingertips down his bare chest, his breath hissed between his teeth.


"You can't take this back, Parker." He gasped. "We can never go back to what we had."


"What we had stunk." She whispered against his flesh. "All we had were lonely phone calls in the dead of night." She kissed him again. "It was nothing. But I needed those phone calls, Jarod."


Parker sat up again and looked down at him. "Look at me, Jarod."


Jarod dragged in an uneasy breath and opened his eyes just in time to see a tear run down her cheek. He flinched as the teardrop fell from her chin and struck his stomach.


"Sometimes I needed those phone calls." Parker smiled sadly. "And you never failed to call when I really needed you." Another tear escaped, running down her cheek to land on Jarod's skin.


Jarod closed his eyes again and sighed. "I'm not exactly myself right now, Parker."


Her laugh was low and seductive. "You're not as cocky as usual. I think for once I may have caught you off guard and a little vulnerable." Parker leaned over and took his nipple between her teeth, running her tongue over the tip. The sensation made Jarod jump.


"Vulnerable is an understatement, Parker." Jarod panted. "Shattered would be more appropriate." He suddenly grabbed Parker by the shoulders and pushed her back into a sitting position. "Do you know what you are doing?" he whispered, staring into her eyes intently.


Parker nodded solemnly. With one hand she caressed the muscles on his abdomen. Stopping at his waistband she began to undo the buckle on his belt. Jarod's hands again curled tightly in the blankets at his sides.


Parker tilted her head curiously at him. Jarod was breathing quickly now. He had an anxious, almost frightened look on his face as Parker deliberately pulled the leather strap out of the loops and away from his pants.


She shifted her body, carrying her weight on her knees and straddled Jarod's legs. Parker could feel him trembling beneath her.


She raised her eyebrows at him. "You have done this before, haven't you?" she asked carefully.


A shudder ran through his body as Jarod sighed desolately. "Not with you." He rasped.


"Am I so different from the other women in your life, Jarod?" she asked casually as she undid the button on his pants.


"God, yes." He breathed. Jarod gazed into Parker's eyes as she smiled at him.


"Why?" She asked, lowering his zipper.


Jarod squeezed his eyes shut and moaned. He clung to the blankets beneath him as though his life depended on it. "You. You are Miss Parker." He gasped.


"So, what?" She cooed at him.


He couldn't think. Parker was easing his pants down his body. His body flinched each time her fingertips touched his thighs. "Parker!" he gasped.


Miss Parker knelt beside him on the bed and studied Jarod's now naked body. He had a death like grip on the bedcovers. His eyes were tightly closed and he was visibly shaking. Every muscle was tensed and taut.


Parker frowned. "You're afraid of me." She said softly.


She saw a tear run down Jarod's face and disappear against the pillow. "I can't lose you, Parker." He whispered hoarsely. "I'll settle for what little we had rather than risk it all for something that may not work."


Parker didn't realize she was crying until she saw drops landing on Jarod's chest. "I won't. I can't settle for that life anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, searching for something when I know that something is right here, with you."


She quickly stood and shed her clothes. Parker kissed Jarod's lips and tasted the salt of her own tears as she straddled his hips beneath her own. "Give me your heart, Jarod." She whispered against his neck as she positioned herself above him. "I'll be careful with it, I swear."


"I can't." Jarod groaned. "It's not mine to give." He gasped as Parker lowered her body and he slid deeply into her. "I lost it a long time ago." Jarod's hands released the blanket and clasped around her hips, possessively holding her in place.


For a long moment he held her there, motionless. The two of them stared desperately into each other's eyes. Jarod abruptly sat up and wrapped Parker in his arms, pulling her to him closely. It was Parker's turn to gasp as his movement thrust him deeper into her.


"You've always had my heart, Parker." He whispered into her hair. "It was yours the day I met you."


Parker wrapped her arms around Jarod's body and laughed mournfully. They made love with a desperate abandon. Their bodies clung to each other with need long after they had both found a shattering release. They lay entwined in a tangle of arms and legs, comforting each other until sleep finally found them.


It was dark when Parker woke sometime later. Snuggled with her under the blankets, Jarod was curled against her back. With one hand he was tentatively caressing her abdomen.


She rolled onto her back and smiled up at him in the dark. "Hi there." She said.


"Hi." He answered cautiously.


Parker ran her fingers through Jarod's hair at the side of his head. He closed his eyes and sighed, savoring the sensation.


"Did you get any sleep?" She asked him.


"Some." He nodded. "But I had a dream about the most incredible woman."


Parker smiled. "Oh, really?"


Jarod propped himself onto one elbow and looked down into Parker's eyes. "I dreamt that I was snuggled up next to the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He took a lock of her hair in one hand and brushed it against his cheek. "Am I dreaming, Parker?" He asked in a tremulous voice.


Parker wrapped her arms around Jarod's neck and held him close. "I think we're both dreaming." She whispered as she pulled him into a deep but tender kiss.


Jarod moaned softly. He rolled on top of her and kissed the area between her breasts. "I like this dream." He murmured.


Parker laughed low. "I'll bet you're going to like it even more in a few minutes." She said seductively as she wound her legs around his waist.


"Parker." He breathed her name like a prayer against her lips as he kissed her.


"I'm here." She soothed.


He entered her carefully, cautiously. Jarod loved her slowly as though he really was dreaming and too sudden a movement may wake them, ruining the fragile paradise they had found. He held her in a tight embrace as he pushed into her. When she cried out in climax, he caught the sound between his lips with a kiss and moaned his own rapture against hers.


Jarod laid his damp brow against her shoulder, nuzzled into the tender skin at her throat and fell asleep in Parker's arms.


Sunlight streaming through the bedroom window woke Jarod up. He blinked, disoriented for a moment. The warmth beside him reminded Jarod where he was. With one hand he carefully swept Parker's hair back to reveal her sleeping face. Jarod smiled.


Parker loved him. He knew that now. Neither of them had said the feared "L" word during the night. Love, like trust, was something neither of them had ever had much experience with. But last night, Parker had made Jarod feel loved. She had given of herself in a way that Jarod hadn't thought possible.


Jarod sat up, blankets pooling at his waist, and gazed down at the woman sleeping beside him. 'She is so beautiful' he thought. He found it amazing that something so lovely could have survived at The Centre. Like a spring blossom unfolding on an icy plain, Parker had been a bright spot in a dark place for as long as Jarod could remember.


Jarod turned and braced his back against the wooden post at the foot of the bed where he could study her more intensely. Parker was a jumble of contradictions. She was the strongest person Jarod had ever known yet at the same time she could be as fragile as a china cup. She was as tough as nails but had an innate tenderness to her personality that she hid far too well. She was independent to an extreme yet she desperately needed compassion from others.


Jarod frowned slightly while he tried to decide which of them had been giving comfort and which receiving during the night. Finally he shrugged and decided that it didn't matter. They needed each other in a way that Jarod couldn't explain, even to himself.


He smiled as Parker blinked slowly and began to wake up. She grinned back at him and sighed contentedly as she stretched like a cat. Her movement caused the sheets covering her to slip down just enough to reveal her breasts.


"What time is it?" She asked.


Jarod shrugged. "Early. Barely dawn."


Parker smiled broadly at him. "You're looking," she paused significantly. "Well-rested this morning."


Parker had always hated it when Jarod smirked at her in the past, but this morning, his cocky grin warmed her heart.


"Well-rested?" he purred. "Is that what we are going to call it?"


She laughed. "Yep." Parker nodded.


"Well then," Jarod sighed. "I'm beginning to feel like I need a little more rest." He grabbed the sheet at her ankles and slowly pulled the covering down her body.


Parker giggled softly as more of her body revealed itself to Jarod's gaze. "I think you've gotten plenty of rest." She said.


Jarod frowned playfully as he pulled the sheet even further. "What about you, Miss Parker? Did you get enough " Jarod paused meaningfully. "Rest?"


Parker laughed seductively. "I never get enough." She teased.


His eyebrows rose. "Is that so?" Jarod asked. He curled onto all fours and started to crawl menacingly toward her. "My, my. That sounds like a challenge."


"Do you think you're man enough?" She asked haughtily.


He answered with a growl pressed into her stomach that made her squeal. Jarod then proceeded to take inventory of Parker's body. Every scar, every blemish was meticulously studied with his hands, lips and tongue. The scars got special attention, with a descriptive narrative of each one's origin when Jarod knew it. For the few he didn't know about, he forced Parker to tell him how she'd received them.


He demonstrated an in depth knowledge of the female anatomy. He knew where all her most sensitive spots were located. At one point he purred into her ear, "Tell me what you like." But it had been a moot point. Everything he did felt marvelous.


He touched and kissed and nibbled at Parker until her arousal was almost unbearable. She squirmed beneath his hands and whimpered like a schoolgirl at his methodical ministrations. Parker arched against Jarod's body again and again as he repeatedly brought her to ecstasy. She moaned at Jarod's exquisite torture.


His voice was tight with restraint when he groaned, "What do you think Parker? Am I man enough?"


Parker dug her nails into the flesh on his back, "God yes!" she cried.


With that, Jarod pulled her knees toward him and plunged into her passionately. They came together moments later with a devastating intensity that made Parker scream.


Their sweat-damp bodies lay curled together in a tangle of sheets and blankets.


"I hope no one heard us." Jarod panted, his head pillowed against her breast.


Parker laughed. "Why?" She said throatily. "Your mother already thinks I've got your balls in my hand bag."


Jarod looked at her in puzzlement. "What?"


She giggled again, hugging him close. "She thinks that I can make you do whatever I want in exchange for sexual favors."


Jarod shrugged. "She's right." He said. Jarod sighed and kissing Parker's jaw line he added, "You are in so much trouble, Parker."


"Why is that?" Parker murmured contentedly.


Propping himself up on his elbows, Jarod pushed Parker's hair away from her face and cupped her cheeks in his palms. "You are never going to be able to get rid of me. Do you know that?"


Parker smiled happily. "Yes. I know."


A while later, the two of them made love again in the shower. It was a quick passionate encounter that began under the warm spray and ended with Parker sitting on the counter with her back pressed against the mirror.


Jarod had left the water running in the shower when he had thrown back the curtain and lifted Parker from the tub. As a result, they had to spend several minutes cleaning up the puddles that had formed around the room while they had been preoccupied. They soaked every towel Parker had in the bathroom as well as the blanket from the bed before the mess was cleaned up.


Finally, Jarod sat dressed on the foot of the bed watching Parker brush her hair.


"You don't have to wait for me, Jarod." Parker told him. "Go get some coffee. I'll be out in a minute."


Jarod shrugged. "I'm in no hurry. I'll wait."


Parker looked at him suspiciously. "You are afraid to face them on your own." She stated.


Jarod sighed. "You know me too well, Parker."


She smiled at him sadly. Jarod had found a stability of sorts in Parker's arms last night. He was calmer and more confident this morning than any time since Parker had first taken him from the hospital. He was stronger and getting better. But he was still anxious. His relationship with Parker had found a solid foundation, but he still needed to find that balance with his parents.


Parker stood and walked to the bed to stand in front of him. "Everything is going to work out, Jarod." She said gently.


Jarod wrapped his arms around Parker's waist and pulled her close. Leaning his forehead against her abdomen Jarod asked, "Are you sure?"


Parker caressed the back of his head with one hand while she held him against her with the other. "I promise." She whispered.


Jarod shifted sensuously and kissed Parker's navel through the cotton blouse she was wearing. "We could stay here and get some more rest." He said.


"Oh no." Parker laughed gently. "I'm starving." She whined playfully as she danced out of his grasp. "So just leave me alone, or else."


"Or else what?" Jarod grinned up at her.


"Or else I'll scream." She said as she strode toward the door.


Jarod stood and began to follow her. "Strange," He said. "I thought that making you scream was supposed to be my intent."


"Cute, you rat." Parker chuckled. "Not funny, but cute."


She offered Jarod her hand and together they headed for the kitchen to face Jarod's folks.

Disclaimer info goes here .. No money . blah blah blah copyrights yadda yadda. No infringement intended yea whatever. I'm just killing time until TNT releases our favorite program on DVD.



A Not so Perfect World Part 6


If You Love Something Set It Free


By Phenyx



Jarod and Miss Parker strode hand in hand into the sunshine filled kitchen. Sydney and Jarod's parents were already there. Sydney and the Major sat at the table while Jarod's mother stood at the stove flipping pancakes in a skillet.


The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Jarod flashed Sydney a quick look of apology. The past eighteen hours must have been difficult for his old mentor. Jarod felt a rush of shame flash through him as he realized that he and Parker had abandoned their old friend to face the Lamberts alone. Margaret Lambert was a force to be reckoned with when she was upset. And she had been upset with Sydney for decades.


Parker gestured Jarod toward one of the empty chairs then moved away to pull two mugs from the cupboard. As Jarod watched her movements, he felt bereft of her nearness. He wanted to be close to her. Jarod wanted to feel the safety and strength of her touch like a child needs the comfort of a mother's protective hand.


Parker must have seen something in the look Jarod gave her. Her blue eyes flickered toward him surreptitiously and a reassuring smile curled the corners of her mouth. Jarod felt a warmth from her as though she had caressed him. 'I am right here.' Her eyes told him.


"Did you get any sleep, Dear?" Jarod's mother interrupted his thoughts.


Jarod dragged his gaze from Parker's and nodded. "Yes, Mother, I did."


"Good." She said, flipping a pancake onto a plate. "Now that we have that unpleasant dream out in the open, you can get your life back to normal. Your Dad could use your help on the ranch. No one else can ride that russet stallion, you know." Margaret glanced haughtily at Miss Parker. "My son is very good with animals."


Parker set a cup of coffee in front of Jarod. She had already sweetened it and added milk so that the coffee was just the way Jarod liked it. "Yes, I know." Parker said, taking a sip from her own cup.


Margaret placed the plate of pancakes in front of Jarod. "Here you go, Son. It's your favorite. Blueberry pancakes." Margaret glared possessively at Miss Parker. "Jarod loves my pancakes."


Jarod felt the distinct chill that abruptly descended on the room and he swallowed. His mother didn't understand. The unspoken challenge dripping from the tone in her voice was like a gauntlet thrown down at Parker's feet. Jarod would bend over backward to prevent his mother from getting upset. But Parker had no such compunction.


As Jarod felt the air crackle with tension, he realized that these two women were the most important females in his life. Always had been. Always would be. Both strong, independent survivors, Parker and his mother were each setting the parameters of their jurisdiction in Jarod's life. He had the distinct feeling of a rag doll being pulled at from opposite sides.


"It's the syrup." Parker said blandly. "He'll eat erasers if you put enough syrup on them."


Margaret frowned at the implied insult.


It was only with great effort that Jarod was able to keep himself from flinching. The three men at the table cast worried looks at each other as the battle of wills swelled around them.


"Parker?" Jarod pleaded gently.


Miss Parker smiled at him. Standing beside Jarod's chair, Parker ran a tender caress through his hair. "Eat your pancakes, darling." She purred at him.


The endearment rolled off her lips easily and Jarod blinked at her in surprise. He risked a quick look at his mother to see an irritated frown on the older woman's face. The situation was not getting better. Jarod thought frantically on how he could defuse the situation.


"My son already has a girlfriend, Miss Parker." Margaret stated. "She's a nice girl." The inflection of Margaret's words implied that Parker was not.


Jarod took the coward's way out. Picking up his fork, he slowly and intently ate his breakfast, keeping he eyes low and downcast. Parker could handle herself, Jarod knew. And his mother was just begging for a fight. Jarod was staying out of this one. With a hasty glance across the table at his father and Sydney, Jarod realized that they too seemed to be concentrating excessively on the plates in front of them. It was almost comical.


"Jarod doesn't need a nice girl." Parker cooed.


Margaret tilted her head inquisitively. "What kind of girl does he need, Miss Parker? A gun-totting assassin like you?"


A cool smile spread across Parker's face. But she said nothing.


"You Parkers are dangerous." Margaret hissed. "And I won't let you steal my son from me again."


Parker gazed sadly at Jarod's mother. "You just don't get it do you?" Parker asked. With a sigh her shoulders slumped and the animosity seemed to drain out of her body. "You never really got him back."


"Parker." Jarod said softly. "Please don't."


Parker turned to glare at the wide-eyed pretender. "Would you gentlemen excuse us? Margaret and I need to talk."


Jarod's mother glared at Parker. The three men glanced at each other questioningly. Parker gently placed a hand on Jarod's shoulder and nodded at him reassuringly. "It will be okay." She told him softly.


"You won't hurt her?" Jarod asked.


"I'll try not to." Parker answered honestly.


Jarod looked from one woman to the other in hesitation. It suddenly dawned on Jarod that these two women were amazingly alike. Strong, intelligent and capable; each was independent and fiercely protective. They both had tender, compassionate souls and a fearlessly honest nature. The most astonishing thing, in Jarod's mind, was that they each only wanted what they thought was best for him.


"Let me handle this, Jarod." Parker said in a harsh tone. "Or I'll make you decide for yourself."


Jarod cast a fearful worried glance at Parker and then his mother. Choose? How was he supposed to decide between two lives? He couldn't. He wouldn't and Parker knew it. Starved for love and attention all his life, the pretender could never intentionally turn his back on the people he had spent a lifetime dreaming about. He would tear himself in two before he would even try.


Jarod had no experience with juggling relationships in his life. He'd never had to share his time with different people. There had only ever been one person occupying Jarod's focus at any given time. For most of his life that person had been Sydney. Even since he had left The Centre, the pretends he had done nearly always involved one main character. One person to help. One goal to achieve. Jarod could become different people, but he didn't know how to be one person who interacted differently based on the differing relationships in his life.


Parker knew this about him. She knew exactly how difficult the last year had been for Jarod. Being thrust into a family that he couldn't really understand had been hard. Jarod had grown up with the people closest to him controlling every detail of his existence. Manipulation and coercion dominated the relationships of Jarod's past. That he could deal with. Interpreting the subtle nuances of the interdependence of family, he simply could not fathom. Lead or follow. Those were the only two positions Jarod understood in a relationship, any relationship.


Except for the connection he shared with Parker.


Jarod's mouth fell open as this realization struck him. The bond he shared with Parker had always had the miraculous ability to shift from one angle to the other. Sometimes Jarod took the lead, guiding Parker through her difficult time in Carthis for example. Other times, Parker was the dominant personality, taking charge and offering Jarod solace and protection when he needed it. Like now.


In any conversation, the relationship between them could morph from predator and prey to confessor, tormentor, protector and partner. With the added complication of lover and seductress, the bond between Jarod and Parker was like a fine oil painting. Layers of time and experience together had created a blend of emotions that were the color in this delicate piece of art.


Parker put a hand to Jarod's cheek and smiled at him. "You’re beginning to understand, aren't you?" she said.


Jarod nodded in awe. "I think so." He whispered. It had taken years of patience and trust to build what the two of them now shared. Jarod began to realize that he could no longer hide the darker aspect of his personality from his family. It was an integral part of who he was. A true relationship could never develop if they did not really know who Jarod had become. But could his mother accept this person? Jarod was afraid of the answer.


"Let me handle this." Parker repeated gently. Turning Jarod around, she tenderly shoved him toward the kitchen door. He seemed a little dazed and lost in thought as he wandered into the next room. Sydney and the Major followed him cautiously, leaving Parker alone in the kitchen with Jarod's mother.


"You treat him like a child." Margaret said accusingly.


Parker shrugged. "Sometimes he is a child."


"He is a grown man." The older woman rebuked.


"He is Jarod. He is a compilation of the experiences of his life, just like anyone else." Parker explained. "But Jarod was never given the opportunity to live a normal life. He's missed out on so much. And so much of what he was given has been traumatic."


Margaret glared doubtfully at Miss Parker.


Parker crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "How much has he told you about his life in The Centre?" she demanded.


"Not much." Margaret answered. "You Parkers caused him a great deal of pain, I know that."


"He wasn't the only child locked up there you know. There were so many projects, so many experiments." Parker whispered. "There were eight children in the Red Files project. Jarod was only one of them."


Parker glanced warily at Jarod's mother through lowered lashes. "Only half of them are still alive. Of those who did survive, most are quite mad."


"Jarod isn't crazy." Margaret whispered.


"Isn't he?" Parker asked softly. "There is a fine line between genius and madness. Jarod has walked that line every day for more than thirty years." Parker paused for a moment to watch the older woman's reaction. "Have you ever seen him obsess about something new?"


Margaret shook her head, slowly.


Parker raised one eyebrow knowingly. "How many blueberry pancakes did he eat when you first made them for him?"


The older woman blinked at Parker in surprise.


A smirk crossed Parker's face as she went on. "Twenty? Thirty?" Parker nodded. "He ate nothing but blueberry pancakes for days. Am I right?"


"When he found a brand of instant mix at the grocer's, he bought their entire inventory." Margaret said haltingly. "How did you know?"


Parker shook her head. "Because I know Jarod. That's what he does. Once he discovers a new experience, he repeats it again and again until he reaches sensory overload."


"Are you telling me that my son needs a keeper?" the older woman's voice vibrated with anger.


"No." Parker sighed sadly. "Jarod is a survivor. Eventually he will figure things out on his own." Parker looked down and casually plucked at a bit of fluff on her shirt. "He doesn't need anything, or anyone. Ultimately, he would have left the hospital on his own once he had realized the futility of it. But it's lonely for him, knowing that there are things he can't share with any of the people around him. He has such an outgoing and loving soul but emotionally he is so isolated and alone."


"He'll learn to share those things with us one day." Margaret said.


Parker's sad smile returned. "No, he won't. There are things that you will never know. In an effort to protect you from the nightmare he lived through, he will never tell you." Parker tilted her head at the older woman, pondering her next words. "Shall I tell you, Margaret? Shall I tell you one of Jarod's secrets?"


"Please." Margaret spoke in a whisper.


"Do you know what electricity feels like? Do you know how many volts it takes to make the hair on the back of your arms stand up?" Parker's voice took on an icy detached tone. "What level of current rushes up your arm like a warm, tingle of vibration? When does the tingle begin to cause pain? At what point does the flesh begin to sear where the current enters the body? When does your hair begin to fry?"


Margaret swallowed and shook her head in denial.


"Jarod knows." Parker said in a low dangerous voice. "He can tell you the specific numbers from memory." Parker inhaled deeply. "Mr. Raines taught Jarod all about electricity. And he didn't learn it from any book. Jarod was ten years old the first time they electrocuted him."


Parker's eyes drifted shut as she sighed desolately. "Have you ever heard a boy screaming in pain, Margaret?"


The older woman stared at Parker in astonishment. She had somehow fooled herself into thinking that isolation had been Jarod's greatest torment. Knowing that her little boy had been cruelly tortured came as a shock. Jarod was valuable to The Centre. Margaret had believed that he was too valuable for them to risk his safety. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Parker opened her eyes just in time to see the moisture drop from Margaret's chin.


"The fact of the matter is," Parker said. "Jarod has survived. He will always find a way to survive." Her voice softened. "But I think he deserves more than just survival, don't you?"


Both women looked at each other with tears swimming in their eyes.


"I understand him." Parker said. "We share a common background. The Centre raised us both and together we've seen things that would curl your hair. He can't frighten me away, even if he tries. I won't run from him when the nightmares come. I won't be afraid or offended when he goes on a sugar binge or decides to go for a walk and disappears for a week."


Parker gazed at the older woman with a pleading look in her eyes. "Jarod will always do as you tell him to because you are the mother he cherishes. But forcing him to become something you want rather than allowing him to be the person he is wouldn't be fair to Jarod. In all honesty, I've become somewhat attached to the person he has become. He's sometimes annoying and mysterious and a little dangerous but he is also a very special human being."


"You love him." Margaret whispered.


"My world has revolved around him for a very long time." Parker said simply. "I need him so much more than he needs me. But if you tell him that, I will deny it."


Margaret smiled slightly.


"Jarod and I have been part of each other's lives for as long as we can remember." Parker went on. "Nothing can change that. If you and I can find a way to get along, things will be so much easier for him."


Margaret sighed.


"What it boils down to is this." Parker said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I am not going anywhere. You can't chase me away. And Jarod will not excise me from his life. Deal with it."


Margaret gazed at Miss Parker. Unable to hold back any longer, tears of despair rolled down her cheeks. "There are so many years to make up for." The older woman whispered. "I let him down. I am his mother. I should have protected him better. You are asking me to abandon him again."


"No." Parker said gently. "Never abandon him." She stepped carefully around the table and approached the other woman. "Give him the space and the time he needs to learn to trust in you."


"He trusts you completely. Doesn't he, Miss Parker?" Margaret asked forlornly.


"It has taken thirty years to build this trust between us." Parker said. "He trusts me because I trust him. Among all the other people we have ever known in our lives, he and I have never had any lies between us."


Margaret looked intently into Miss Parker's eyes and began to comprehend the depth of the connection between this woman and her son. She wondered, suddenly, what kind of life had Miss Parker led? What had her childhood been like? Perhaps, just perhaps, Parker knew her son so completely not only because she had studied his every move for years, but also as a result of similar experiences and traumas in her own life.


"I don't have any choice in this, do I?" Margaret asked in resignation. "If you are right, I will eventually lose him again anyway."


"If I'm right, you lost him when he was four." Parker said wryly. "Take my advice and you may get to know him again some day."


"Promise me that you'll take good care of him." Margaret said, blowing her nose on a napkin.


Parker smiled. "It's more likely that he will be taking care of me." She said with chagrin.


"Well," Margaret sniffed. "What do we do now?"


"You need to go talk to Jarod." Parker said. "Tell him how you feel. Tell him that this is not his fault. Then just listen to him."


Margaret nodded and began to leave the room in search of her son.


"And, Mrs. Lambert?" The older woman stopped with one hand on the door when Parker called to her. "It will be the things he doesn't say that are the most important."


Margaret stepped onto the back porch and wordlessly sat on the steps beside Jarod. He flashed her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. She smiled back. A gentle breeze was blowing across the yard, pushing dark tendrils of hair across Jarod's face. Margaret gazed at her son for a moment, desperately trying to see some piece of the little boy he had once been.


"What?" Jarod asked with a wary, crooked smile as he noticed her scrutiny.


"You still have the same dark eyes." She whispered, reaching out to tenderly brush back the unruly locks. "You always had such big brown eyes."


Jarod smiled sadly. "I remember so little from my life before The Centre."


"You were so inquisitive. You wanted to know how everything worked." Margaret smiled. "When you were just a toddler, you would bring me live spiders and squashed bugs. When other children were picking dandelions for their mothers, you were bringing me millipedes and earthworms."


Jarod laughed. "I don't remember that."


Margaret shrugged. "You were just a baby. Most of what you brought to me was half squished in your pudgy little baby hands."


"I remember my lunch box." Jarod said in a far off voice. "Isn't that the most ridiculous thing? I had forgotten my family but I remembered a lunch box."


"You were very proud of that lunch box, Jarod." Margaret told him. "I thought you would be frightened on the first day of school. You were so much younger than all the other children. But you were too excited to be afraid. You tried hard to act grown up about it all."


"I don't remember being in school, but I have a distinct memory of walking down the sidewalk into the building." Jarod said slowly. "There was a big black car sitting at the curb. It was a four-door sedan, late model. I saw the men in that car watching me." Jarod shrugged. "Knowing the way sweepers work nowadays, I guess those two probably followed me for several days before I was taken."


Jarod fell silent. Margaret looked at him intently, hoping to gain some insight as to where he was going with this. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to say anymore, Miss Parker's words whispered through Margaret's mind.


"It will be the things he doesn't say that are the most important." Miss Parker had told her in the kitchen.


Margaret now understood what the younger woman meant. The unspoken question hung in the air like an icy cold fog between them.


"You wonder why I never saw them." Margaret whispered. "You saw them and they frightened you, otherwise you wouldn't remember it so clearly. I should have seen them." She cast her eyes downward and stared at the grass.


"I should have said something." Jarod whispered. "You had no way of knowing."


"None of this was your fault, Jarod." Margaret said firmly. "You were just a little boy. There was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened to you."


"I should have tried harder." Jarod said, his voice little more than a whisper. "I should have remembered. I should have run away sooner. I shouldn't have helped them." He swallowed as his eyes shimmered with tears.


Margaret felt her own tears swelling in her throat. She realized suddenly that Jarod didn't blame her entirely for what had happened. For the most part, he blamed himself. Jarod would always hold himself responsible for the breakup of their family. He would always carry the weight of that shame. Jarod was literally driving himself crazy trying to make up for the past.


"Miss Parker is right, isn't she?" Margaret swallowed. "We can't act as though this never happened."


Jarod shook his head silently.


Margaret took Jarod's hand in her own. She realized now that the more tightly she tried to hold on to her son, the farther away he would become emotionally. The guilt that he heaped on himself only increased when his family showered him with affection. She needed to let her son go. Jarod needed to find a way to forgive him self. Only then would forgiveness come for the rest of them.


"I love you, Jarod. I have always loved you. I will always love you." Margaret said desperately.


Jarod nodded, unable to speak.


"You come home to us whenever you are ready." Margaret said urgently.


Jarod nodded again and wiped tears from one cheek with his shirtsleeve.


"I expect you to visit often, regardless." She said firmly.


"I will." Jarod vowed. "I promise."


Margaret took her son's chin in her palm and tilted his face up to gaze into those wondrous brown eyes. "Every holiday will be spent at the ranch." She said firmly. "There will be no negotiation on this point, understood?"


Jarod sniffed. "Yes, Ma'am." He said with a wry smile.


"So," Margaret sighed. "I assume you'll be staying here for a while then?"


Jarod shrugged. "This is where I belong, Mom."


"Are you sure, son?" Margaret asked.


With a nod, Jarod answered. "Parker is the only constant in my life that I have ever been completely sure of."


Margaret shook her head in resignation. "Well then," she sighed. "You may as well bring her with you when you visit."


Jarod chuckled. "You'll learn to like her, Mom. She takes some getting used to but eventually she'll grow on you."


"I hope you're right, Jarod." Margaret said. "Because I'm beginning to get the feeling that she will be a part of our lives for quite a long time."


Jarod nodded. "I can guarantee it." He said confidently. "A very long time, indeed."


Margaret laughed. Putting her arm around Jarod's shoulders, she pulled him into a loving embrace.


Jarod snuggled his face into crook of his mother's neck. "I love you, Mom." He said softly.


"I love you too, baby." She replied tenderly.


Sitting on the steps in the bright sunshine with her son wrapped in her arms, Margaret felt the first fragile bonds beginning to form between them. It letting Jarod go, Margaret had found a way to be closer to him, somehow.


Maybe there was still hope for them after all.

A Not so Perfect World Part 7


Epilogue


By Phenyx



Parker stepped out onto the wooden porch. Even with the shade from a nearby maple tree, the pine planks were warm beneath her bare feet. The day was unusually hot for late June. Parker wore a faded t-shirt and an old pair of shorts. Inside the air conditioner was performing adequately but the view from here was much more interesting. As the afternoon had worn on, a breeze had started to blow across the fields making the heat more tolerable.


Carefully setting a second glass of lemonade on a low table, Parker curled up on a rattan chair next to the rocking chair occupied by her mother-in- law.


"Thank you, dear." Margaret said as she picked up the glass and sipped at the refreshing liquid.


Parker and Mrs. Lambert had managed to put aside the animosity between them. In the eight years that had passed since Parker freed Jarod from The Pines mental hospital, the two women had actually become good friends.


Not that Jarod's mother had much choice in the matter. Within a month of Jarod moving into Parker's house, she had found herself to be pregnant, undoubtedly a result of the first night they had shared the same bed. Jarod had declared it a sign from fate that they were meant to be together. It had still taken him another two months to talk Parker into marrying him. As much as the entire concept scared the hell out of her at the time, Parker now had to admit that matrimony to a slightly off-kilter pretender had been one of the smartest things she'd ever done.


Though the pregnancy had been a normal one, with no complications, Parker had spent the entire nine months in a state of low-level panic. Amorphous, undefined fears of men snatching her child from her had tormented her dreams on a regular basis. But Parker had valiantly hidden much of her concern from her new husband. As nervous as Parker had been about impending parenthood, Jarod had been nearly manic.


Nothing escaped Jarod's scrutiny. The security system at the house was redesigned and installed by Jarod personally. Items of baby paraphernalia were researched and brands were comparatively tested for safety and dependability. Diapers, car seats, cribs and blankets, powders, oils and stuffed animals were all sliced, burned, submerged and dropped in a variety of tests that would have surpassed a NASA safety inspection.


Jarod's mania had worried Parker for a while. But when her labor had started, Parker's own paranoia had flipped into high gear while Jarod had managed to stay relatively calm. Parker hadn't allowed the doctor's to give her any pain killers for fear that she wouldn't be able to protect her newborn once it arrived. Nurse's had to wear their staff identification to be allowed in the room during delivery. Only Jarod's calming presence had kept Parker from bringing her handgun to the hospital with them.


When their daughter slid into the world twelve hours later, Parker and Jarod were too busy admiring the miracle of the tiny child to notice the collective sigh of relief from the hospital staff. For the day and a half between her birth and their discharge from the hospital, Jarod never left his little girl's side. In a wordless communication between Parker and Jarod, they took turns sleeping so that the child could be watched continuously.


Catherine Sydney Lambert was a well-loved child. Her grandparents and uncles all adored her and she was watched more closely than a royal heiress. Presenting the Lamberts with their first grandchild had gone a long way toward earning Parker acceptance into the inner circle of their family.


Being a father had taught Jarod the ability to focus his love and affection on multiple people. It wasn't so much Kate that had taught her daddy this skill. Parker felt that for the first two years of the little girl's life, Jarod pretty much saw the child as an extension of her mother more than as a separate person in her own right. It was the birth of his twin sons that had taught Jarod this special talent.


Three children, each demanding unconditional love and affection had managed to do for Jarod what psychiatrists and counselors couldn't. They had taught the pretender that you can love someone more than anything else in the world, and still love another someone just as much.


Gazing across the yard at her family now, Parker was amazed at how easily and how well he interacted with the children. Jarod still occasionally demonstrated signs that he had led an unusual life. He tended to be more than slightly over protective of his children. Kate, having just finished the second grade, had yet to see the inside of a school bus. Jarod dropped the children off at the front door of the school every day and watched until they had entered the building. Each afternoon, he was waiting at the door when the children flooded out.


When they had decided to move their family to the ranch three years ago, Jarod had built a house about 500 yards from the house that his parents lived in. The house was deceptively simple in its basic layout but the place was virtually a fortress. There was shatterproof glass in windows that only opened a few inches. In case of fire, the entire pane could be released with special latches located inside the house underneath the windowsill. But no one standing on the outside would ever be able to open those windows.
vOnce the house had been completed, Jarod had started a new hobby. He had learned everything there was to know about breeding and training dogs. After only a few years, Jarod's dogs were earning reputations as being the best-trained police dogs in the state. People were beginning to call from all over the country to vie for the opportunity to buy one of these specially trained creatures. Little did these customers realize that Jarod only sold the dogs he didn't think were good enough to protect his children. The three animals that had achieved this remarkable status currently sat at attention near the corral.


Kate was in the corral with her father. She was riding a small filly in circles while Jarod taught the little girl to ride properly. Horseback riding is more than just climbing onto a horse's back and hanging on, Jarod always said. Kate's dog, a toffee colored bitch, sat watchfully at Jarod's side.


Beta, like the other dogs, was a bastardized mixture of Golden Retriever, German Shepherd and Rottweiller. Bred for loyalty, intelligence and tenacity, the dogs were trained to protect all three children but each was distinctly assigned to one child. No one was going to sneak into any bedroom at night with one of these barrel-chested, fanged monsters sleeping on the foot of each child's bed.


The other two dogs, a big black creature named Rusty and a brown and black mottled one name Opus, sat just a few yards from the corral looking up at their masters warily. The twins, nearly identical except for the color of their hair, sat perched precariously on the top of the wooden fence surrounding the corral.


Timothy Jarod, TJ to his friends in Kindergarten this year, listened intently to everything his father said. Knowing her son the way she did, Parker knew full well that the moment their backs were turned, TJ would be on that horse himself, doing his best to prove that he could ride better than any girl. TJ was an ornery scamp of a child. He was completely fearless and rarely quiet. He found it necessary to run everywhere he went. Whenever Parker found something broken, she could be pretty sure than TJ had broken it.


But the boy had his father's big brown eyes and lovable crooked grin. Just like his father, it was impossible for Parker to stay mad at the boy when he turned on the charm. And the little con artist knew it. When TJ was in trouble, he knew that if he could make his father laugh about the situation, he'd get off the hook. More often than not TJ managed to get away with it.


The children rarely saw Jarod angry. He had never lost his patience with any of them. But there had been that ugly scene at the school in early March. Jarod had gotten angry enough to swear in front of the children. His fury had radiated from him in waves of such intensity that all three children had been in frightened tears. The children hadn't done anything wrong, they had simply been present when Jarod's temper had gone off. The brunt of his anger, Jarod had taken out on Kate's second grade teacher. But in the end, once he realized he was over-reacting, Jarod had sent Parker home with the children while he walked the fifteen miles back to the ranch in order to calm down.


In second grade, all public school children in the state take their first scholastic aptitude test. Kate had scored very well. Very well. As a result, her teacher had asked for a conference with Jarod and Parker to discuss special educational opportunities for the little girl. When the poor woman had suggested an IQ test as a preliminary step for enrollment in a special school, Jarod had gone off.


"Take your god damned test and shove it up your ass." Jarod had hissed in a low, dangerous voice.


The teacher had probably thought they were both insane as Jarod and Parker both frantically denied their own child's intelligence. But the woman had finally relented. Kate would not be given any test that was not administered to the entire school population.


Parker knew her daughter was smarter than most kids. But Parker also knew that Kate was not the smartest of her children. The youngest was also the most incredibly brilliant of the three. Charlie, younger than his brother by a whopping two and a half minutes, was as quiet as TJ was boisterous. Wide-eyed and ever watchful, nothing escaped the little boy's attention.


Like a little parrot, the child could repeat every word he had ever heard. Nothing frightened Parker more than watching her son as he watched television. Charlie would sit in front of CNN with his head cocked to one side as the news stories flashed across the screen. Seeing the little boy sitting cross-legged in front of the TV was eerily similar to watching DSA recordings of Jarod in front of a simulation screen. The only difference between Charlie and his father was that Jarod had learned to do things by reading about them in books. Charlie, though he had been reading since he was two, learned to do things by watching them on the screen in his living room. Charlie even looked amazingly like his father had at that age.


Parker had voiced concerns about little Charlie. Late at night, cuddled in each other's arms, Parker and Jarod would talk in soft whispers about the hopes and the fears they shared about their children. "He'll be okay, Parker." Jarod always told her. "As long as we are all together, he will be just fine. We just need to keep him safe here with us."


"You're worrying again." Margaret's voice sliced into Parker's reverie.


Parker glanced warily at her mother-in-law. "Is it fair to worry about one child more than the others?" She asked.


Margaret smiled knowingly. "You worry about them all." The older woman said with understanding. "But you always worry more about one than the others." After a pause she added, "Granted, the one causing the most concern will change to a different kid over time."


Parker laughed. "When can I stop worrying about them?" she asked.


Now it was Margaret's turn to laugh. "When I reach that point, I'll let you know."


"Jarod is okay you know." Parker said, suddenly serious.


Margaret nodded. "Yes, I know. He's happy. And I'm so glad to finally have him home."


"Look at me, Momma!" Kate abruptly called across the yard.


"Looking good, kiddo." Parker hollered back with a wave.


"Don't listen to her, Kitten." Jarod joked loudly enough for Parker to hear. "You don't look good, you look marvelous. Absolutely beautiful."


"More beautiful than Mommy?" Kate asked with a giggle, joining her father's teasing mood.


"Who? That old hag?" Jarod shrugged as he helped the child down from the horse. "Of course you're much prettier than that old battleaxe."


This sent all three children into peals of laughter.


"Watch it Rat-boy." Parker warned. "I know where you live."


Jarod strolled across the yard with the children and their dogs following in his wake. Parker stood and met him at the steps of the porch. "I know where you live too." Jarod purred as he wrapped his arms around her waist.


Enfolding Parker in a deep embrace, Jarod lovingly kissed the soft curve of her neck. Giggles from below forced Jarod to look up from the task of nibbling at her flesh. With a lighthearted taunt, Jarod blinked down in feigned confusion at his children.


"Where did these little midgets come from and why won't they let me snuggle with my wife?" Jarod growled playfully.


Charlie, a familiar grin lighting up his face chirped, "Snuggling with your wife is where the midgets come from, Daddy!"


Jarod and Parker both burst into laughter. Swinging his youngest son up in his arms, Jarod tossed the little boy over his shoulder. "That's it young man." He scolded laughingly. "You are too young to be talking like that. I think you need to watch an hour or two of Sesame Street."


Charlie squealed in pretended outrage. "No! Please! Sesame Street is for babies." He cried as his father marched him into the house. "Can I watch SpongeBob instead?"


The other two children started hopping up and down yelling, "Aye Aye, Captain!" Kate and TJ ran into the house after their father while they all started singing. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? -SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. - SpongeBob SquarePants!"


Parker looked toward her mother-in-law and rolled her eyes in long- suffering anguish. "They are going to sing that stupid song for the rest of the day." She moaned.


Margaret gave Parker a quick hug as she headed across the yard toward her own house. "I know how you feel dear. Jarod used to sing something similarly irritating when he was a boy." The older woman put a finger to chin as she thought for a moment, trying to dredge up the ancient lyrics. "Cree craw toads foot geese walk bare foot." Margaret sang.


"He still sings that song, Margaret." Parker groaned. "Are you telling me that I have to listen to this for the next thirty years?"


Margaret smiled softly. "If you're lucky, you'll get to hear it every day."


Parker smiled in understanding and went inside to listen to one of the world's most irritating songs for the umpteenth time.


She felt very lucky indeed.