Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)

With Me
1/8
By Orania Lemke


I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart. Where
ever I go you go and
whatever is done by only me is also your doing, my darling...
~ee cummings


Complete silence. Neither man dared to speak, they only sat, staring expectantly at the door. On the other side, inside the kitchen, was like a scene from Dr. Frankenstein's lab, only this was no work of fiction. Jarod stood near a counter covered in bunsen burners, vials, tubes and flasks. From some openings, steam and smoke of a few shades of yellow were appearing, while others only hissed and bubbled. He glanced down at his watch, and exactly when the second hand hit 12, he poured the contents of one vial into a boiling flask. There was a crackling sound as the two met, then slowly the entire mixture darkened to a deep orange.

Broots glanced at his watch, and began to fidget. Eight minutes, according to Jarod's calculations. Eight minutes, and a cure that had seemed impossible only hours ago would be completed, and ready to be injected into Parker.

At the thought of her, Broots dared a look through another doorway, to the cot in the middle of the bedroom, and felt his heart skip a beat. She was as still as ever. It was as if nothing had happened, yet he knew that if he listened closely to the beeps of the heart monitor, there would be the tell-tale sign of her seizure earlier. The event had weakened her heart, it didn't pulse nearly as strongly now, and it had gone without saying that if Jarod's CPR hadn't worked, she would've been gone in a few more seconds.

Feeling his nerves tighten at the idea, Broots turned his eyes to Sydney, and shook his head uncertainly. This had to work, he thought to himself. It had to. Her body was growing weak, tired of struggling under the pressure of the induced coma and LS49. If what Jarod was creating wasn't the cure, there would be no second chance. Their bought time was at an end.

Sydney shifted in his seat, catching his attention. He wasn't doing well, Broots noted with concern. The dark circles under his eyes were nearly as dark as Jarod's, and the lines around his eyes seemed deeper, almost chiseled into his face. He wasn't handling this well. None of them were, really, but it was different for Syd. Jarod and Parker were like his children, he'd watched them grow up. Every time she was shot or he was caught, there was a helpless anger that would reflect in his eyes.

"How you holdin' up, Syd?"

Sydney woke from his reverie, and attempted to give a comforting smile, but quickly failed. He rubbed his forehead wearily before replying, "As well as can be expected, I suppose. It's been a long week."

A thought hit Broots as he nodded. "It has been a while, actually, since we last spoke to Lyle. Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Mr. Lyle can burn in hell for all I care," Sydney replied sharply.

~~~~~~~~~

For a split-second, all Jarod could do was stare at the tiny vial in its metal stand, completely awestruck. The cure. Parker's cure...

Snapping to, he took a sterile syringe from the counter, and began to fill it with the greatest of precision. Then, wrapping the syringe in a towel for protection, Jarod slowly backed to the swinging door, pushing it open with his back. At the sight, Broots and Sydney jumped to their feet, but were careful not to crowd him. Walking slowly into the bedroom, he stopped at Parker's bedside, and unwrapped the syringe. The other two were just as awestruck, somehow unable to tear their eyes from it. Such a little amount, Sydney thought, looking at the thick yellow fluid. How could it possibly fight the strong poison pulsing through Parker's body?

In the moment that Jarod injected her, it was if every ounce of air in the room had vanished. No one breathed, no one tore their eyes from the woman on the bed, and the tiny needle entering her arm.

Then, it was over, as quickly as it had begun. Jarod gently rubbed the skin on the inside of her elbow, on the spot where he'd broken the skin, with a finger, then finally put down the needle. The two looked at each other, not completely sure what to do.

"What now?" Broots asked.

"We wait," Jarod replied simply, sitting down in the chair next to her. "All there's left to do, is wait."

"How long?" Syd managed from the foot of the bed.

"Awhile. Another few hours, and she would've waken up from the coma. But it takes time, for the mixture to work its way through her system, and to begin fighting the poison, and as long as there's LS49 in her body, the cure's designed to keep her unconscious. Cuts down on the pain, if only a little."

"When she wakes up, how will we know if it's...worked?"

He gestured towards the heart monitor. "Symptom of the poison, after the comatose state is relieved, is an irregular, stressed heart beat. If it's slow and steady when she wakes up, it's worked. If not..."

Jarod turned his attention back to Parker, brushing her forehead and cheek gently, while Sydney and Broots quietly walked back, collected their chairs, and drew them near to her bedside. They sat, watching silently. Jarod held her hand, continued to brush her skin, and whispered stories of their times together into her ear.

~~~~~~~~~

Thirteen hours is a long time to wait. It seems even longer, when you're going on little or no sleep, and the objection of your attention is the eternal beeping of a heart monitor, and a woman just clinging to life. You soon absorb every detail. And the first motion, no matter how slight, grabs your attention immediately.

Such was the case with the three men holding their vigil over Parker. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, her delicate fingers began to bend and move. All Sydney and Broots could do was stare in disbelief. Jarod, looking at the hand he held in his own, used every bit of restraint he had not to shout with joy then and there.

Then came the first sound, a slight moan just barely escaping her lips. To the men, it was like the singing of angels. Sydney and Broots got up from their chairs and moved nearer to her, while Jarod leaned even closer to her ear.

"Parker?" he whispered. "Parker, can you hear me?" No reply, but more movements. Her hands and legs, but best of all her head, slowly turning to face him. "That's it," he encouraged, taking just a second to look at the monitor before looking back to her, "time to wake up." The heart monitor showed a strong and steady beat, no signs of irregularities. Jarod gestured to the bedroom light switch. "Turn the lights off. We don't need her eyes to be shocked by the brightness." Broots did so, then quickly headed back. They were bathed in the soft, dim light of a lamp from the living room, just enough for their faces to be visible to each other.

Her eyelids began to gradually separate. The dark eyelashes were the last to move, finally parting to reveal twin blue seas. Her brow bunched, and rapidly blinking, her eyes finally focused on the concerned face and chocolate eyes of Jarod.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi," she whispered.

He brushed a strand of wavy dark hair from her face, and worried, asked, "How do you feel?"

"Soar," she replied, somewhat hoarsely. Between the screaming before, and five days of no speaking at all, her voice had been through a harsh work-out. "And tired."

He nodded understandingly. "I bet. We'll talk later. Right now, I want you to rest."

"Stay with me?"

"Of course." Her eyes slid shut again.

Broots collapsed back in his chair with a huff of relief. "It's over," he grinned to Syd, "it's really over."

"I'm going to keep her hooked up to the monitor a bit longer, just in case. But barring any new surprises, she should be fine." Jarod looked to the others, really seeing them for the first time in a long while. "You both look like hell. Go upstairs, get some sleep."

"You need rest too," Syd pointed out.

Jarod shook his head. "She asked me to stay."

Broots looked to Sydney for confirmation, and said, "Then we're staying too."

Jarod looked to the floor uncomfortably for a moment, then gave them an uncertain glance. "Actually, I was hoping...I know you don't want to leave either, but..."

Sydney finally understood. "You'd like to be alone with her."

"If you don't mind."

"Of course not, we understand." Clearly Broots didn't, but he followed suit anyhow, trailing Syd out the door and out of the apartment.

Jarod didn't move from Parker's side. He was exhausted, though, and it wasn't long before he fell asleep holding her again, just as Syd had found him before.

Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)


With Me
2/8
By Orania Lemke


She was getting stronger, thank god. Obviously not up to par just yet, but still there was that incredible relief he felt every time she sat up or laughed, hell, every time she spoke. He'd picked a nightgown from her clothes upstairs, and while he didn't quite understand why she'd smiled as she'd fingered the dark blue silk, he'd been grateful to see it all the same.

She was asleep now. Still drained, and no wonder, he realized, looking over the past few days. Just two days ago, she'd awakened from a coma he himself had induced. He frowned. Some choices are necessary, but that didn't make them any easier.

"Jarod?" Sydney called from the apartment door.

He turned. "Yeah?"

"Ready to move her?"

He nodded. "Out in a sec."

Sydney headed back down the hall to the elevator. In the apartment, he stood watching her for a moment more, then reached down and gently picked her up. He was taking her up to the top penthouse, where she'd be more comfortable, and he could stay close to her. She hadn't minded, but had fallen asleep before they could help her walk that far. Even that wasn't a thought Jarod liked. What was the point in having her drain her energy, when he could just as easily carry her?

Broots was holding the elevator for them; the ride was done in silence, but it was a peaceful silence. For the first time in a long while, things actually seemed to be looking up.

Stepping into the penthouse, Jarod carried her into the master bedroom without thinking, then walked back out into the living room, joining the other two. "Let's order Italian for tonight."

~~~~~~~~~

As she slowly woke up, Parker's first thought was relief that the pain wasn't so bad. Her body was finally healing. Her second thought was that she'd kill for some pasta. A third thought, following a split-second behind the last, was more of a smiling realization as she sniffed the wonderful aroma of food from another room.

The bedroom door opened, and Jarod appeared, carrying a steaming plate of fettuccine and French bread.

"You read my mind," she grinned, taking the plate from him.

"Of course. Never expect anything less from a pretender."

She'd felt strong enough, so she'd taken the plate and walked out to the dining room, and actually eaten dinner with the guys. Afterwards, however, she realized how drained the effort had left her, and immediately headed back to bed.

A little after eleven that night, Jarod was curled up on the sofa in black boxers and a gray t-shirt, reading, when muffled calls caught his attention. Concerned, he made a beeline for the master bedroom. He paused at the door, listened; sure enough, the sounds were coming from Parker. He opened the door and peered inside, and Parker, who had been tossing and calling out, soon stilled. Just as he reached the bed, her eyes fluttered open.

"Hi," she whispered sleepily, frowning at the last images of er nightmare.

"Hi yourself," he said with worry. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, just a dream." She sat up, and rubbed her throat. Weak as she was, even that small amount of loud speaking was enough to make her soar.

"I'll get you a drink," he offered, heading into the master bathroom. He filled a glass, and brought it back to her. She thanked him, took a few sips, then set the glass down next to the lamp. "I should have left some water for you," he added apologetically. "Sorry."

She smiled. "Don't be. Besides, I'm the one that's sorry--you shouldn't have to go through all this trouble."

Stern-faced, he sat down on the bed beside her, and took hold of her hands. "Hey, listen to me, okay? You have nothing to apologize for. And taking care of you is not a burden."

"Thank you," she murmured earnestly.

Jarod nodded, then pointed to her pillow. "Sleep." He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "You need the rest."

Parker slid back under the covers, and nestled her head in the pillow. Jarod walked to the door, and was about to leave when she called out, "Wait." He turned to look at her. "Stay."

He closed the door, bathing them in semi-darkness, barely illuminated from the city lights outside. He came back to the bed, and drew a chair near, but she stopped him from sitting. Sliding over, she pulled back the covers. "Lie down." And he did so, without hesitation. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and they laced theirs fingers together. Jarod's warm breath tickled her cheek.

They lie in silence, neither that tired anymore. Parker, amazed at just how comforting this was, squeezed his hand and whispered, "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Oh, I do." And he meant it. After everything they'd survived together, to nearly lose her again last week...

He turned his attention back to her. His wandering thoughts had obviously taken up some time; Parker had already fallen asleep. He remained motionless for a long time, just listening to her slow steady breaths. Then, an urge came over him that he just couldn't ignore. Carefully, so as not to wake her, Jarod pulled back her hair and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her neck. A small smile played across Parker's lips, she gave a happy murmur, but didn't wake up.

Suddenly, Jarod found himself marveling at every detail of her face. And it was that moment, at he was studying her closed eyes, that the truth hit him.

"Wow," he whispered in awe. And Parker, unbeknownst to what was happening in the real world, shifted slightly in her sleep, and held his hand a little tighter.

~~~~~~~~~

Sydney was unable to find Jarod anywhere else the next morning, and so headed into Parker's bedroom, thinking that maybe he'd spent yet another night at her bedside. He opened the door quietly, and froze at what he saw: Parker and Jarod in bed together, in the same spoon position that they'd curled up into the night before.

His face at that moment was an absolute study, as his mind attempted to sort out a hundred feelings and thoughts. Jarod would never take advantage of Parker, he knew that, and it wasn't as if she was even strong enough for them to actually do anything. Still, his fatherly instinct gave him the strong desire to yank Jarod out of that bed and deck him with whatever object was nearby, preferably something large and hard. And besides that was the knowledge that Jarod really cared for her, that she really cared for him, even if they hadn't admitted or realized it yet. And yet more thoughts came, until Syd's mind was far too muddled to actually think of anything useful. So, shaking his head, he closed the door silently and went to the kitchen to see to breakfast.

With a small sigh, Parker began to wake up, her movements waking Jarod as well. She turned to look at him, and smiled. "Hey there."

"Hi."

"Sleep well?"

"I feel well rested." Truth was, he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep before an hour or so earlier, but the time he'd spent absorbing what he'd realized had left him peculiarly energized.

"I haven't felt this good since...God, since before the ball." She saw his eyes darken, and hastily continued, "I bet it's gonna be a great day."

He smiled gratefully at her attempt at distraction, and agreed. "It certainly promises to be a new experience." She gave him a questioning look, which he ignored. Jarod got up from the bed and walked to the door. "I'll go get some coffee."

"Sounds great." He grinned, and left, if not a little reluctantly.

In the kitchen, that same grin was still plastered on his face as he poured two steaming cups. Sydney reappeared, and Jarod greeted him cheerfully.

"Sleep well?" Syd ventured.

Jarod paused momentarily, then continued to add sugar to his mug. "Fine, thanks."

"So you actually slept, then."

He turned to face Syd. "Nothing happened."

"I disagree." Jarod opened his mouth to reply sharply, so he hurried on, "Not that you actually did anything inappropriate, but I find it hard to believe that grin is there just for the hell of it."

Jarod briefly considered denying everything, but one look told him that Syd wouldn't fall for it. Instead, he just said, "Sometimes situations just force you into realizing things. When I first came to the Centre, I was this scared young boy, completely alone; then, she'd befriended me. I lost her once, when her father sent her away, and one of the most painful moments of my life was learning that she was to be my hunter. Then, I finally get her back, regain that precious friendship, in that cabin last Christmas, and our experiences in England only confirmed our strength together. If events had turned out differently this week, if...I had lost her. God, Syd, I don't even want to think about it."

"So that's what it took for you to see the light, hmm?"

"You know, we've all of us loved her, in our own way. We've been best friends, on and off, you've been closer to a father than Mr. Parker could ever be, and Broots depends on her controlled manner." Not to mention those sex dreams he's been having of her, Syd thought to himself. "But lately..."

Syd nodded. "I know, Jarod."

The grin reappeared. "You've always known, haven't you, Sydney?"

"Always."

"Always what?" came a curious voice behind them. Both men spun around, their faces reddening guiltily. "What?"

"Nothing. Just something Syd here noticed before I did. You know, even Sam--" Jarod stopped mid-sentence, then nearly tripped Syd in his attempt to quickly set the hot mugs down on the counter.

"Whoa, where's the fire?" Parker asked.

"The airport--" He glanced at the clock. "Shit! I've only got half an hour to get there."

"Huh?"

"I cannot believe I forgot!" Jarod was chiding himself as he ran into his bedroom -now Parker's- and grabbed pants and a shirt from the dresser. He reappeared a moment later, fully dressing, throwing on his jacket.

"What are you talking about?" Parker demanded.

"I'd completely forgotten," he explained, pausing in the penthouse doorway. "The airplane--it's supposed to land at 10:35. I've gotta go, I can't keep her waiting in that huge place."

"Who?!" the two shouted in unison.

Jarod looked back at them in surprise, as if that was aridiculous question. "Samantha, of course."

Disclaimer: I don't own "The Pretender" or any of its characters. Thanx for not suing! ~Oriana

With Me
3/8
by Oriana


Jarod was hurrying through the terminal, looking through throngs of unloading passengers, when a small voice ahead to his left called out, "Look, look! There he is, there's Jarod! Jarod! Jarod! Over here!"

He easily spotted Sam then, jumping up and down eagerly, waving Teddy in the air at him, while her parents stood by smiling patiently. After polite greetings with the adults, he knelt down to her level, and let her give him a tight hug. He laughed and ruffled her hair. "Geez, you've grown at least a foot since the last time I saw you, Sam!"

"Really?"

"Definitely." She took his hand, and they walked off next to Mr. and Mrs. Lansing. They had a nice talk in the nearest airport Starbucks, with lots of pictures on the parents' side; Jarod and Samantha had cocoa, the others opted for lattes.

Finally, however, it was time for the Lansings to go. They'd agreed to let Sam stay for a visit with Jarod and Julia in Seattle, while they went on to Honolulu for their wedding anniversary. Jarod and Sam waved goodbye through the windows until the plane taxied down the runway, then headed out in search of his car.

~~~~~~~~~

Parker sat at the kitchen table, stirring her now-cold coffee and staring off into space with a slight frown playing on her lips, as the memories of her nightmares came flooding foreward once again. Pairing that with her experiences during her coma made for not so happy thoughts. A picture flashed across of her eyes, of her baby brother all grown up, carrying a gun, wearing a humorless grin, as he sat at the head of a T-board. She closed her eyes to block the picture, but it was only replaced with a worse one, of him sitting in a dark corner of a room, playing with a knife, as a dead girl bled on the floor. Just like Lyle... Parker shook her head forcefully, finally erasing the image.

~~~~~~~~~

They pulled onto the freeway, and Jarod turned the radio to a station Sam would enjoy.

"So, how's Julia?"

Jarod nearly slammed on the brakes by accident. She gave him a confused look. "J-Julia? You mean, she hasn't called you guys?"

She shook her head. "Uh-uh. Why? What's wrong?"

Jarod sighed, and turned the radio down. "Sam, we need to talk. I know how much you liked the idea of Julia and I being together--" Samantha snorted; he didn't notice. "--but sometimes things just don't work out that way. People can't always stay together, they have to go separate ways. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Duh!" She giggled. "It's like on that soap opera mama watches, where the doctor breaks up with that one lady because he realizes he's in love with another."

"Uh, not exactly," he said slowly, "but you've general idea."

"Sure," she grinned. "Admit it, Jarod, you like Miss Parker more."

"I didn't say that," he said defensively.

Samantha just rolled her eyes and hugged Teddy closer. "That's okay, you don't have to. I know you like her."

She's handling this a lot better than I thought, Jarod realized, perplexed. "Well, then, there's a surprise waiting for you when we get home."

~~~~~~~~~

Through the open patio doors she heard a car pull up. She gave her best attempt of a happy smile, and stood slowly from the table. Even that movement left a sharp pain, but she grimaced and ignored it. She made her way into the living room, and waited. A few minutes later, the penthouse door swung open and little Samantha came bounding. Her eyes grew wide, then she gave an excited shriek and ran into Parker's waiting arms. "Miss Parker! Miss Parker!"

Laughing, she hugged her close. "Samantha! It's so good to see you!"

"I missed you so much! I'm so glad you're here!"

"I'm glad to see you too, Sam. Have fun on the plane?"

"Yeah!" She pulled Parker down onto the couch, and sat on her lap. "We got to fly over some mountains, and eat some food." She wrinkled her nose. "It didn't taste very good. Then, the captain let me come into the cockpit." She plucked at her shirt. "See? They even gave me a pin!"

"That's great!"

"I know!" She continued on about the entire trip.

~~~~~~~~~

An hour after reading Sam a bedtime story, Parker was in her own bed, just falling asleep. Half an hour later, she jolted up in her sleep, biting her lip to keep from screaming. Trembling, she got up weakly from the bed and walked slowly into the kitchen. She got a glass of water and sat at the table, hugging herself and trying her damnedest not to cry.

Sydney appeared a little later, observing her quietly with pity. She wasn't having an easy time. She'd mentioned her dreams earlier to him, but they'd obviously progressed to something worse.

"Miss Parker, is anything wrong?"

She looked up at him with watery eyes, hesitated, then finally burst out, "God, Syd, I can't take it anymore!"

"Tell me about it," he offered, sitting down across from her.

"It's everything," she whispered, pressing her hands against the table to keep them from shaking. "It's just everything. Jarod said that the symptoms should be getting better, so this can't be a side effect of that. The nightmares...they just keep getting worse. And what I experienced while I was...sick. I've had to face all these truths, about myself, about the Centre, about everything."

"What truths?"

Her chin was trembling. "My brother is just a baby, Syd...but if I leave him there, with that monster I call my father, he doesn't stand a chance. I can't imagine anything worse than Lyle, and yet I know that if he stays there, he'll become something even more evil. And then there's me...While we were in England, Jarod pointed out how disappointed mom would be if she could see me now--"

"He was in no condition to be taken seriously," Sydney argued.

"I'm not so sure...I mean, he's right. I've turned into the very thing that she was fighting against."

He leaned across, and covered one of her hands with one of his own. "Wherever she is, Catherine is proud of you. She loved you more than life itself, and nothing you did could ever change that."

Parker sniffed, shook her head. "No, Syd. You're wrong. You don't know how wrong. I'm a monster, Daddy saw to that." She stood. "I just don't know how much more of this I can take." And she went back to her bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~

The next morning brought a brilliant sunrise, a delicious homemade breakfast, and a huge surprise. Broots was leaving. "I miss Debbie," he explained at the table. "And, now that Miss Parker's out of the woods, I'm going back to pick her up early from summer camp and spend a few days with her. I need to get back to my family."

They all understood, of course, but his decision brought the idea of the Centre back into their reality. Enough playing house, some decisions needed to be made.

Jarod, for one, was determined to ignore it. He'd like the direction things were taking, and he'd be damned if he would let anything change now. He stole a glance in Parker's direction--she was playing a string game with Sam, one he recognized as "Cat's Cradle." Samantha had taught it to him last Christmas.

Decisions...Not much question which decision was foremost in his mind right now. Ever since his startling realization just the other night, he'd been continually amazed by every little action she did. Jarod smiled as the two burst out laughing, the string between their fingers just a big knotted blob at this point. He'd never felt so aware, so full of emotion before in his life.

~~~~~~~~~

Parker, on the other hand, had never felt so numb. She was physically exhausted still, but it was something more than that. She just couldn't bring herself to think or feel anything fully. She went through the movements, smiled at the appropriate times, played games with Sam to the best of her ability, but it all seemed automatic, like she was a robot just mimicking the actions that the real Miss Parker would do. And her mind would wander, at any given time in any given place, to the echoing hallways and frightening people of an earthbound hell far across the country.

She tried, she really tried, to play the part of a happy rebel, enjoying her "vacation" away from the Centre. But ignoring her concerns only made them fester, until they began to just overtake her mind. And Sam, lovable as she was, became almost a dreaded sight to Parker; she was a carefree young child, with amazing parents, a happy home, and a promising future to look forward to--everything her own brother would probably not experience.

All of these fears continued to press inside her mind, until finally Parker felt sure that she would explode from the pressure. It was the end of the second day of Sam's visit, and Parker simply couldn't take anymore.

She lie, shaking violently, on top of her comforter, staring at the ceiling and feeling tears pour down her cheek. Then, like a wonderfully soothing blanket, a calm came over her. The tears stopped, the shaking subsided. With unconscious resolution, Parker rose. After a moment of consideration, she stripped out of her nightgown and dressed in the usual Centre business suit, all black, and pulled her hair into a tight ponytail.

With slow, silent steps, she padded down the hallway, and opened a door without hesitation. Inside the darkened room, Jarod was fast asleep. She walked around the bed, and knelt down beside his sleeping form. Brushing his cheek fondly, Parker placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and whispered, "I love you."

Then she left, the door clicking shut behind her. In the blackness, Jarod smiled. She'd thought he was asleep, and he figured that was the only way she'd been able to take such a big step. He knew it'd been hard for someone like her to admit something like that, and he was proud of her for it. But more importantly, it meant no more doubts about her reciprocating his feelings. They'd connected. They could finally be together.

He considered following her into her bedroom, then decided against it. He'd wait till morning, then say the same to her. After all, he thought, they had all the time in the world now.

~~~~~~~~~

More silence. None of her movements made a sound, she slipped about the apartment with a swiftness and subtleness any burglar would be proud of. Five minutes later, completely unbeknownst to Jarod, Parker closed the penthouse door behind her, and entered the elevator. She shrugged into her black leather trenchcoat, pressed the button for the main level...

On the dining room table, with a fountain pen lying next to it, was a small sheet of paper.

...and Parker was gone.

Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)

With Me
4/8
By Orania Lemke


From the beginning of our times together, there has been an undeniable bond, a mutual feeling of trust and kindness. When I was alone, and experiencing fear that seemed almost inhuman, you would appear at my side, from the shadows of my mind, to hold me, to comfort and protect me during the worst trials of a lifetime. I have come to rely on you, and allowed you to become the soul I believed myself incapable of having.

The beginning of us was the mark of a journey, a long and frightful distance that we've travelled hand in hand. In times when hope seemed impossible, and faith was denied us by everyone but each other, we were able to endure anything. Through sheer will and love, we have survived. But now, I find myself once again without a soul, and forced to travel this last distance alone...

~~~~~~~~~

The sun would be up soon. Apparently, the old saying was true: the darkest hour is just before dawn. Parker stared blankly out into the black sky, dotted with stars and the occassional cloud brushing past. Her dark appearance was like a thick mist, covering her, separating her even more from the handful of other passengers on this plane. She wasn't with them, on a red-eye flight to Delaware. She was thousands of miles away, trapped in her mind, a devil and angel sitting on her shoulders, screaming orders to her one after the other, run-back-stay-where-you-are-beg-his-forgiveness-you-need-no-one-save-the-boy-never-betray-the-Centre orders that were scratching at her heart and soul; but her mind was made up, though her consciousness was all but gone. They had won. A single comfort: this was the only choice. A lie, she knew, and the easy way out, but admitting that would mean facing everything, and for Parker that was not an option.

The plane landed, the passengers rose. She stood too, and pushed hurriedly past them. Many raised eyebrows, a few even muttered rude comments, but she was oblivious to it all. That was the first true sign that Parker wasn't herself; anyone who knew her, would see her lack of reaction to their behavior and feel immediate concern.

Miss Parker was not herself.

~~~~~~~~~

The door was banging. Sydney rose groggily, unlocked the bedroom door, and had to jump out of the way as Jarod raced in like a run-away train, red-faced and fuming. He was yelling angrily, but it was his eyes that struck Syd—they were red, suggesting plenty of crying just previously, and had a look of betrayal and disbelief.

"--know about this?!" Jarod was demanding. Syd glanced at his clock. 2:38. Great, he'd wake up everyone with this.

"Jarod," Syd began in a patient, calm voice, "what is it? What's wrong?"

He stared at him in disbelief, than gave a sad, sarcastic laugh. "God, she didn't even tell you?! I don't believe this!" His voice was at a painfully loud tone now. He was clenching a piece of paper, waving his fists in the air. With a firm hand, Sydney grasped his shoulders, and shook the pretender until he finally stopped, and just stood staring at his old teacher.

"Listen to me, Jarod. Tell me what's wrong, tell me what's happened."

"She's gone." The lost whisper of an abandoned child. He grimaced, crumpled the paper even more, as his voice grew loud and angry once again. "Everything that we have been through! All of the suffering, and the pain, and the torture! Those people stole our childhoods, nearly killed her how many times, they destroy our families and our friends, they break our hearts and burn our souls! They ruin our lives, and nearly every bit of humanity left in us! Every world we have ever known as been turned into a hell because of them! Every angel that has ever gone in there, has either come out a demon, or in a body bag. Their only purpose is pain and manipulation and death. Everything is because of them! Everything...She writes a note, she walks out the door...And runs home to daddy."

The balled-up paper was thrown to the ground. For a painfully eternal moment, Jarod just stood, ragged breathing and shaking hands. Then, with an angry growl, he was gone.

Sydney stood where he was, trying to come to terms with what ad happened. He had just witnessed something, something that he'd seen a hundred times before in the Centre, but far more cruel now because it was Jarod experiencing it. He knew that look, that behavior. He knew those eyes...

Sydney had just witnessed the death of a man's last hope.

~~~~~~~~~

The cellphone rang. Parker, freshly showered, was slipping into her trenchcoat. She pulled the phone from her pocket, and activated it as she headed out the door.

"What?"

"So you're back."

"Nice to know perceptiveness runs in the family," she replied drily, unlocking her car.

"Enjoy your vacation?"

"Lyle, I'm not in the mood for one of our little sibling chats. You got something to say, then say it."

"Relax, just hoping for a little explanation."

"About?"

"Oh, come on, Parker. Sydney and Broots, two men completely uknown to the vacation lifestyle, are still gone, yet you return to work just hours after walking off a plane."

"Broots is back," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but still on leave." He snorted. "Something about quality time with his daughter." From the tone of his voice, the idea was obviously foreign to him.

"Look, their lives are none of my damn business. I'll be
back at the Centre in ten minutes. You wanna talk, we'll do it then." She slammed her phone shut, tossed it into the passenger seat, and sped off with a squeal of tires.

~~~~~~~~~

Broots looked up from his computer, and felt that familiar tinge of faint surprise at seeing Sydney, working at his desk like usual. It was so quiet around here, he was always sure that he was alone. Then, he'd look up, see Syd, and the same thought would go through his head: Oh yeah, he's here. Broots glanced at his watch, then the door expectantly. Parker had become predictable as clockwork lately; Syd had said something about it being a comfort to her.

The digital numbers changed to 8:45, and there was Parker, walking in with that air of self-assurance that now struck him as fake, not impressive. No one else saw it--the term "ice queen" was more popular than ever, but he knew that she'd changed. Even her expressive blue eyes were shielded. Broots shook his head at the thought. What a waste.

"Any sign of Frankenboy?" Cold, uninterested, but a brief flash of emotion in her eyes. Hope, maybe? Broots mused.

"Miss Parker, really." Again, predictable--she'd use some nickname for Jarod, and Sydney would be there giving her a disappointed look, reminding her how inappropriate it was.

"No, nothing today." And there was his answer, also the same predictable one. They hadn't found a hint of Jarod since their return. On that topic, Broots typed a command into his computer. On the screen, away from the other two's view, was a counter, patiently keeping track of the time since Parker's disappearance from the Seattle penthouse: two months, thirteen days.

"Stay on the look out, keep me updated, you know the drill." With a flap of her jacket, she spun on her heeled boots and walked back out. Silence refilled the room. Broots gave the stony Sydney an uncomfortable glance, then bent back over his computer and continued the search.

~~~~~~~~~

She sat in her office, with the lights off and the blinds shut. No sound, no movement, no thought. She just sat. Staring at the .9mm in her lap.

A knock at the door.

"Go away."

Lyle walked in, smirked at the atmosphere. "Meditating?"

"Get the hell out."

"Aw, come on, sis. Can't a brother talk to his sibling?"

"When the sibling is me, and the brother is a thumbless half-wit like yourself? I don't think so."

"Look at our current positions in the Centre heirarchy, sis," Lyle continued, more than a little ticked off. "I'm not someone you want to mess with."

"Wrong," she replied emotionlessly, wrapping her fingers around the weapon. "I'm someone you don't want to mess with." She turned and stood from the chair in one fluid motion. "Leave." She lifted the gun, aiming it point blank at his head. "Now."

"The drama queen," he grinned, shook his head.

She took a step towards him. "Whatever it takes to get my point across."

His grin faltered. "Fine, I can take a hint." A few curses under his breath, and he left. Parker returned to her seat, placed the Baretta back on her lap, and continued to stare,
completely mesmerized.

A sort of hazy contemplation began, but when it ended hours later, Parker wouldn't remember any of it.

~~~~~~~~~

Jarod sat in the cafe, a plate of now-cold food pushed to one side, untouched. In front of him was a piece of crumpled paper that looked as though it had been folded and unfolded many times. The note. Her note. He'd caught himself reaching for it countless times, chided himself for it, but more often than not he'd pull it out anyhow, and begin the useless process once again of scrutinizing every word.

The young waitress placed the bill on the table with a smile, and he started back to reality. She walked off to help someone else, and he found himself caught by her. Dark hair, bright eyes, a cheerful nature eminating from her as she joked with the customer. Frowning at his own behavior, Jarod tossed a few bills on the table and left the cafe. Outside, he wrapped his jacket closer around himself as the cold air hit him.

He wasn't sure why he was bothering to stand here thinking his actions over. In the end, he knew he'd go. Hell, he'd been staying in this town 20 miles from Blue Cove for the last damn week, struggling with the usual debate in vain: to see her or not to see her.

With a sigh, he unlocked his rental and got behind the wheel. There was no choice. He knew that. Maybe this was just something he had to get out of his system.

~~~~~~~~~

The drive home was always the worst. There was that unceasing stab of pain, as she was passing through the woods surrounding the Centre. It was dark, dense, and more menacing at times than anything the Centre could throw at her.

I wonder if mom felt anything when she drove here...

Her car turned a corner, and the headlights flashed against trees, shooting spooky mishapen shadows in every direction.

Jarod must've been terrified, escaping from the Centre through a place like this...

She was the only one on the road. People rarely went this way. It was so isolated, so frightenly isolated.

What if some patient escaped from the Centre... Another experiment, like Jarod... What if it was a little girl like Samantha...

Stop it! She shook her head, ordered herself again, but it didn't work. It was a horrible paranoia, and it wasn't going away. It always came; different thoughts each night, but it came just the same. And with it, as always, came the tears. A few warm tears slipping down her cheeks to begin with, but soon a flood gushing forward. She'd grip the wheel, pick up the speed, and weep at the futility of life.

~~~~~~~~~

She walked in, tears dried up and shoulders straight once again. She would need all her strength, to make it in this place. It wasn't like she actually lived here anymore; she came back, night after night, to this house, just to prove she could. There was a system to it now, a way of walking through with as little awareness as possible. She would walk through the house, into the bedroom, change, and duck under the covers. The next morning, she would wake up, shower, dress, and leave. Work was done at the Centre. Meals, when she actually remembered to eat, were done with speed, and without interest, at some nearby restaurant.

She pulled of her coat, bent down and draped it across the sofa, tossed her gun on top of it, straightened, turned--

--And came face to face with the mirror over the mantle.

It took a moment for Parker to even recognize herself. She wore her hair in a tight French twist every day now, and her makeup was even darker, but still in place despite the earlier crying. It was mesmerizing, seeing this person that was supposed to be her.

With a thoughtful gaze, she reached back and pulled the bobby pins out, one by one. A small shake of her head loosened the dark hair from it's knot, and it fell to rest at her shoulders. She looked closely again, expectantly.

No, still not right. She thought briefly of turning away, going ahead upstairs, but she couldn't do it. She continued to study her face, and was startled to see a reflection with watering eyes. Anger began to boil up in her. This was not what she had worked so hard for. She was not about to crumble.

A slap rang out in the empty room. Her cheek stung, her eyes continued to water. "Stop it," she hissed to herself. "Stop it! You are not weak!" Wet streaks were appearing on the reflection's cheeks, and her own felt moist. Another slap. "Stop it! You're a Parker, damn it! Don't cry! Parkers do not cry! You do not cry! You don't..." She faltered. "I shouldn't..." She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand and clenched her teeth, then stared straight into the mirror. "Your mother is dead. Your brother will be raised by the Centre. Jarod is gone. This is your life." She brushed back more tears, then grabbed the gun and faced the reflection once again, holding the weapon close to the glass. "And this...is your fate."

The reflection's eyes looked pained. They looked pained and terrified and utterly lost. "I can't do this..." With a disgusted cry she threw the gun to the ground. A shot echoed, as the bullet richoted, racing right back at her, and barely missing. There was the sound of shattering glass, and a framed picture of young Parker with her mother fell to the ground. Trembling she knelt down, and through the broken shards touched the black-and-white photo with one finger.

"You're my daughter. I'll always love you."

"Jarod, I want to tell you a secret."

She frowned. Stupid memories, just stupid, pointless memories.

"Mama? Mama!"

"Let me go, they're hurting her!"

She stood up, and began to pace around the living room, shaking her head.

"It's time for my angel to shine."

"Your brother, Lyle..."

"One of us has to stop him."

Nothing was working. So much pain, and yet more thoughts flooding forward. God, why wouldn't they stop?!

"Where do we go from here?"

"God forgives. I don't."

Slapping her head, stamping her feet, screaming at the top of her lungs. Nothing was working. She couldn't avoid it anymore.

"What if they win?"

"Welcome back, Miss Parker."

Suddenly more exhausted than she had ever been before. Parker sat down on the edge of the windowseat, looked around and realized with shock that everything was on the floor, broken into a thousand pieces. Wooden splinters, ceramic shards...

"The Centre does not accept mistakes."

"Everyone is expendable."

She stood, felt dizzy. Her face was soaked, tears were dripping onto the floor.

"His freedom for mine."

Sobbing, she collapsed.

~~~~~~~~~

Jarod tiptoed along the side of the house. All the lights were out; then again, it was three in the morning.

Inside, Parker had woken up less than an hour ago. She had only enough strength to walk over and flick of the living room light; too weary to make it to the bedroom, she'd curled up on the windowseat. Looking outside, through the trees, she'd spotted their star, Hope. A small, weak smile played across her lips at the name.

She'd fallen asleep on the windowseat, leaning against the window, with one hand pressed against the glass as if grasping at a heavenly body.

That was how he found her. Jarod was startled to look into the window, and find himself face to face with the sleeping form of Miss Parker. For the longest time, he just stood, and stared, afraid to look away or blink, in case she disappeared. Her hand was against the glass, and some sudden thought brought his own hand up. A pause of hesitation, then he pressed his palm against the windowpane, so that their hands met in perfect form. He closed his eyes, imagined really feeling her soft fingertips. He would've given anything in that moment to feel her.

Parker stirred in her dreams. She felt warm suddenly. Half awake, half dreaming, she had the instinct that the warmth was from Jarod. Her eyes flew open, and she looked out the window.

But Jarod was gone, already walking quietly down the road.

Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)
 
 

With Me
5/8
By Orania Lemke

The rain was coming down in sheets. The sides of the streets were flooding, overfilling drains unable to hold anymore water. The drops were falling so hard they stung when they hit his face. He stood in the middle of the deserted street, soaked, with the pouring rain roaring in his ears.

A hand grabbed him from behind, forced him to spin around.

"What have you done?!"

~~~~~~~~~

Earlier that day...

She paced back and forth in his living room, the clicking of her heels against the hardwood floor echoing through the empty house. The sound of a key in the lock caught her attention; she stopped so suddenly that momentum nearly tripped her forward.

As a tired Sydney walked through his front door, coming home from a night of paperwork at the office, Parker rushed forward to meet him. He was startled, but as he realized it was her, his expression changed from surprise to a stony grimace. He brushed past her, placed his briefcase on the floor and moved on to the kitchen. "Mind telling me just what the hell you're doing in my home, Miss Parker?"

She followed him. "I need to talk to you."

"Is that a request, or an order?" he muttered, still not looking at her as he grabbed a bottle of water.

"Syd--" Her voice faltered, returned as a whisper. "Please."

He felt his defenses weaken. Despite the choices she'd made, the woman was still like a daughter to him. Reluctantly, he turned, really looked at her for the first time in nearly three months, and felt his heart crumble at the sight. She looked pale, tired, and her eyes were dull despite the tears filling them up. All his anger for her melted away. "We can talk." He thought of the bugs probably planted in the house. The Centre liked to keep an eye on their people. "Not here, though. I know a place."

She nodded, and followed him obediently.

~~~~~~~~~

The drive was made in complete silence. Somehow, playing the radio right now, even classical music, seemed inappropriate. Sydney kept his eyes studiously forward, while Parker leaned against the window and stared out listlessly.

He turned onto a gravel road, and moments later the forest disappeared, revealing a rock edge, and the ocean beyond. Parker lifted her head, feeling a stab of recognition.

They got out of the car, and walked together to the largest cliff. Looking down, the ocean roared as it crashed against sharp rocks.

"Whenever there were difficult times at home, your mother would come here to contemplate things."

"I know."

"Being so high above the ocean, almost as if you're on top of the world. Catherine said that she found strength here, and answers."

"Thank you."

He leaned against a boulder, and she followed suit. "So, what did you wish to speak to me about?"

She stared out to the horizon, as the warm ocean breeze played with her hair. "Everything's different, Syd... A year ago, I was just another Centre employee; but not just an employee. I was as much a daughter of the Centre as I am of my father. Last Christmas, I was given a real look at lives that Jarod changes, and nothing's been the same since."

"Surely it's not just Jarod's doing."

"No. No, it was more. It was the Centre continuing to throw problems at me, one after the other, without a chance to breathe. It was living through the anniversary of Thomas' death. It was bringing my little brother into this world, and realizing that daddy didn't give a damn. It was standing in the middle of the room that my mother painted in, and wondering if she would even recognize me. It's just too much."

She sprang up and began to pace back and forth, hands behind her back. Like a caged animal.Sydney just observed her quietly, and had the serious idea of throwing her in the car and getting her the hell away from Blue Cove. She stopped, inches from the edge, with her back to the ocean, and began with an uncertain smile, "But now, think I might be okay."

"What's happened?"

She laughed, a real laugh that echoed through the open space, and Syd's heart swelled. It was her mother's laugh, one he hadn't heard in years. "The most incredible thing. Look at me, Syd." He did, and realized that compared to how she'd appeared just 20 minutes ago in his kitchen, there was a world of difference. She still looked tired, and a little uncertain, but she was radiant, and her eyes were sparkling. "I don't eat, I barely sleep. I haven't had a drink in days, taken any pills for even longer. My house is a wreck, and I don't even care. What does that tell you?"

Ideas clicked together in his mind, and he smiled broadly, understanding. "Well, normally, I'd say you'd become completely certifiable. But given the circumstances, I'd say you're in love."

She laughed again, and stepped close to him. "You're absolutely right." Her voice lowered. "And that's why I need your help."

"My help?"

"Syd, I'm going insane. Like I said, my house is a wreck. It was all just too much the other night, and smashing everything in sight seemed like the perfect solution. Until a few days ago, I kept thinking that I was seeing him out of the corner of my eye, or I'd feel him, almost as if he were just feet away. The worst part, though, is that it's stopped. I can't feel him anymore, Syd, and it terrifies me."

"What do you want from me?"

"I had all these reasons when I left; I can't remember any of them anymore. I've begun to see things at the Centre through his eyes, and it's too much for me to bare. And every time I see another horror, my mind yells at me to just run away, and the next thought, always, is, run to him." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're right, Syd. I am in love. And I can't ignore it, I can't run from it. No more than I could stand one more day in that place--I'll die if I do." She looked him desperately in the eyes. "We haven't heard a word from him since I left. I know I've already betrayed him too many times, he's had enough of the games. But you... Until he finds his family, you're the only one he's got. He wouldn't disappear without at least telling you."

"You're saying to me, you want me to tell you where he is."

"I'm asking you, Sydney, yes. Please, I need to find him."

"Miss Parker." He looked her straight in the eye. "Do you realize what this means?"

"It means that I'm leaving. Tonight."

He nodded; a debate that had been continuing in his mind for years came to a screeching halt, his decision made. "I'm coming with you."

~~~~~~~~~

Parker ran inside her house, for the first time in a long while completely free of any foreboding feelings, and tossed her keys on the table. Running into her bedroom, she pulled a suitcase out from the closet, and began throwing in random clothes from her closet and drawers. Three minutes later, she ran back out of the room, paused at the mantle to grab a framed photo and throw it in her purse, retrieved her keys, and raced back out the door.

Soon after she pulled up to Sydney's house, and she'd just hit the brake when he appeared in the door. He hurried to the car, threw his duffel bag into the trunk, and hopped in.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he grinned.

~~~~~~~~~

It was noon, but you couldn't tell it. The sky was a single mass of gray clouds, hanging low and threatening rain with their rumbling thunder.

"We're driving right into a storm," Sydney noted with raised eyebrows.

Parker, behind the wheel, smiled. "Make you nervous?"

"At this point, Miss Parker, nothing in the world could bother me."

She laughed, and turned on the wipers as the first fat drops splattered on the windshield. Glancing at the map next to her, she looked ahead for the next on-ramp, for the interstate that would take them to Washington DC. "So what's Jarod doing in DC, anyhow?"

"Samantha's father is handling some corporate takeover, and Jarod offered to help."

"Why? All that legal mumbo-jumbo doesn't seem like his kind of thing."

"One of the corporation's contracts is with the government, concerning centers for abandoned children and run-aways. Mr. Lansing thinks they can do some real good once they got control, and figured Jarod would love that kind of opportunity."

Parker looked over at Sydney. "I wonder if Sam will be there when I see Jarod."

"You don't seem too pleased at the prospect."

"Jarod wasn't the only one I left without saying goodbye. Poor thing probably felt like I'd deserted her."

"Don't worry about Samantha," he reassured her. "She's resilient. Besides, she's been so determined to see you two together, everything else will be completely forgotten."

~~~~~~~~~

"That's his place?" she smiled, observing with great approval the building in front of her.

"Yes. He has the corner apartment on the fourth floor. I think he's grown a real liking for the area."

"I'm beginning to like it myself," she laughed. She peered again out the car window. They'd switched seats so that she'd have an unobstructed view. She turned in her seat to look at him. "I know we have to find a parking garage for the car, but..."

"You want to see him now?" he nodded knowingly. "Sure. This is a private moment, anyhow. I'll meet you upstairs." She thanked him, and got out of the car, waving as he pulled away.

For a moment, she just stood in the rain on the sidewalk, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach. The entire area was abandoned; the news warned of a bad storm. A few more minutes, she thought, and the streets would start to flood. She looked down at her outfit critically: a dark gray form-fitting turtleneck and tailored black pants. She smiled at her heeled boots, something Jarod had once mentioned he preferred to her normal footwear. "No heels," she murmured. "This must be love." She impatiently brushed a few strands of hair from her face; she'd put her hair up with a black clasp, but a few clumps had escaped to frame her face, a slightly messy look she loved.

One deep breath. Another. Then, closing her eyes, she bit her lip and thrust her finger forward, pressing the intercom button next to his name.

"Yes?"

Her eyes flew open and her heart swelled at the sound of his voice. "Um, hi."

A pause. "Parker?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Another pause. "Hang on."

She took a step back, and waited. Upstairs, little Samantha wriggled up to a window and looked down impatiently. Seconds later, the building door opened, and Jarod joined her on the steps. She gave a weak smile; he walked slowly past her, stopped, studied her closely.

"I don't believe this," he sighed as, running a restless hand through his dark hair, he walked on into the street, clearly lost in his thoughts. Puzzled, but too happy to really care, she followed him into the rain.

He turned, looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Syd's parking the car; we agreed that I should do this on my own."

"What?"

"Talk to you. About us."

He frowned uncomfortably, and avoided her eyes. "Parker--"

"No," she hurried to cut him off, "just let me say this. I... What I did in Seattle was probably--no, no it was definitely the stupidest thing I have ever done. I made a mistake, I admit that... And I have never been more sorry." She stepped closer to him, completely soaked and dripping, and smiled. "But everything's okay now. I know what I want, I know what I need. And both ways, it's you... That's why I came here. To look into your eyes, and to tell you that I love you. I always have, in a way, and I always will. Nothing can change that." She was growing nervous as his uneasy attitude remained; she took his hand. "Jarod, we can do this."

"No," His tone was firm; he pulled his hand away and backed off.

"What?" she whispered in disbelief.

"No." He shook his head slowly, like at a young child who doesn't know any better. "No more."

"But, Jarod--"

"It's too late, Parker. I can't take any more; you and the Centre and the lies and backstabbing--I've had enough." He looked up into the rain, as if seeking an explanation. "My life is changing." His eyes moved back to her, but still didn't meet her own. "Yesterday, for the first time since this all began, I started work on a new pretend. You're still the first thing I think of every morning, but at least now you're not everything." Finally, finally, he met her eyes. "I love you, Parker. But my heart just can't bare any more of this."

Tears mixed with the raindrops on her face. For what seemed like an eternity, she just stood, staring in crestfallen shock. Then, the full reality of it all hit her, and staggering under the weight of the truth, she turned and ran.

Sydney, who had watched the whole conversation at the corner, hidden from view, stepped into the street as Parker ran by. "Parker! Parker!" Continuing to call after her, he ran in pursuit. She turned the corner, he followed.

"Parker, stop!"

No answer, just choked sobs and heels hitting wet concrete.

"Parker, wait! He's just upset!"

She spun around. "He's upset? He's upset?! Whatever fragments remaining of my life were hanging by one very thin thread--and he just goes and snaps it in two!"

"He still loves you."

"How can you possibly still believe that?!" she cried miserably.

"How can you not?" She stared at the water.

Silence, with only the pouring rain to fill it. Then, she lifted her head, and whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "Even after we realize the truth, we still hurt each other. Why is that, Syd?" She turned, and ran.

~~~~~~~~~

The rain was coming down in sheets. The sides of the streets were flooding, overfilling drains unable to hold any more water. The drops were falling so hard they stung when they hit his face. He stood in the middle of the deserted street, soaked, with the pouring rain roaring in his ears.

A hand grabbed him from behind, forced him to spin around.

"What have you done?!"

Jarod stared at Syd dumbly.

"What the hell do you think you've done?"

"Back off," he warned.

"Oh, screw you, Jarod! Do you have any idea what that woman has gone through?!"

"Of course I do!" he yelled right back. "Do you think I like hurting her?!"

Sydney laughed sarcastically. "You fool. You damn fool! You don't even see it, do you? Do you have any idea how rare what you two have is? How many people spend their entire lives searching for just one chance at what you two have thrown away time and time again?!"

"I don't have to listen to this!"

"Oh, yes, you do," he snarled. "You will stand here and listen to every damn word I have to say. She has beaten herself up every moment since she left, and I defended you, treated her like the criminal, because of what happened. In last few months, she has been through hell and back, and yet somehow she finds the strength to come here, look you in the face, and tell you she loves you. And what do you do? You burn her to the ground--just like every other person in her life has."

"That's enough!"

"I should hope so, because it was enough for her. There's nothing left--you've destroyed her. You have been like a son to me, but I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in you than this moment. I damn near hate you; but more importantly, I pity you, Jarod, because I don't care where you go or who you meet... You don't stand a chance of ever having anything near what you just threw away."

Sydney turned and walked away, leaving Jarod in the rain.

Upstairs, Samantha wiped her red eyes, sniffled, and left the window.

~~~~~~~~~

A lone car sped down the slick highway, the headlights shining into the storm-darkened road ahead.

Engraged, Parker's eyes narrowed to a glare, and her hands clenched the wheel tighter until her knuckles turned white.

"Their fault. All their fault."
 
 

Please send feedback
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)

With Me
6/8
By Orania Lemke


The door swung open, hit the wall with an echoing bang. She walked in with long, confident strides; her face had a set, grim look. Taking off her jacket and rolling up her sleeves, Parker got to work. A single suitcase in the trunk was the result of her first shot at a packing job; this time she intended to do it decently.

An hour later, the house was noticeably bare. All pictures and personal momentos were gone, leaving a hollow feel to the place. In the middle of the living room sat Sydney's duffel bag; he could pick it up when he got back.

In her bedroom, Parker stood in front of her bed, carefully packing a small leather case. She'd moved the photo of her mother here from her purse, and was now sliding in a thin white box, containing a set of paper snowflakes. She zipped it shut, picked it up, and walked out.

Outside, the sun had just set. The car was running, and headlights illuminated the front yard. Parker made one last check to make sure that everything was in place--the trunk was filled with heavy suitcases, and nestled in the foot area of the passenger's seat was a large metal cage, holding a white rabbit. Satisfied that she hadn't forgotten anything, Parker hurried inside to the fireplace mantle, where she'd carefully placed a small wooden case. Sitting on the sofa, she nestled it on her lap, and opened it with a small exhale. Resting inside was a gun. The same gun that had killed her mother.

Moments later, Parker walked out the front door without a single look back. A car engine revved, and with a squeal of tires she was gone. Inside, lying open on the sofa, was the empty case.

~~~~~~~~~

The parking garage was all but empty. It was Friday, the rain was finally subsiding, and everyone wanted nothing more than to just go home.

She pulled up into her customary spot, patted the pocket of her trench coat, and got out. Almost out of instinct, the usual Ice Queen face appeared, and she walked in the don't-screw-with-me attitude that everyone in the Centre knew well. Security guards, oblivious to what was about to take place, merely nodded politely as she passed.

She got into the elevator without the slightest twinge, and pressed the button to go up. The metal doors slid shut, and she was on her way. The reflection in the doors caught her attention; she frowned and looked it straight in the eyes. No fear.

The doors slid open and she walked down the hallway of the executive level, heading purposely to her father's office. The fact that he'd let a newborn stay in his office was disgusting enough; knowing Raines and Lyle had access to him at any time only completed the insulted.

Her hand was on the door when an all-too-familiar voice called out from behind, "What do you think you're doing, Parker?" She turned. A few feet ahead stood Lyle, an eyebrow raised in question. "Well?"

"Lyle, you're not that much of an idiot. I came to see my brother."

"Right," he said, rolling his eyes. "Which explains the car seat in your Porsche."

"I'm not in the mood for this tonight," she warned, turning back around. "Go away."

The click of a gun froze her in her tracks. "Step away from the door, Parker."

She faced him, and smirked at the gun. "You're joking, right? Put that away."

He took a step closer, aimed the gun at her chest. "I don't take orders from you."

"Bite me, Lyle."

He continued to move towards her. "I mean it, Parker. You've pushed things too far--you think we don't know where you went today? Or this summer? Or who you spent Christmas with? Now step away from the goddamn door!"

"You know, if there's one thing I can't stand--" She whipped the gun out from her pocket, and ducked as he shot, hitting the door and sending splinters everywhere. "--it's someone trying to boss me around."

"How quaint," he grinned mirthlessly. "A stand-off."

"Yes, about damn time, isn't it?" They both kept their guns aimed steadily at each other. "Most people, discovering some unknown sibling, would be thrilled. But us, we just innately hated each other. I have to admit, I've dreamed of this chance."

"What makes you think you have a chance?"

She laughed coldly. Her gun didn't move. "Talent, dearbrother, talent. I figure it's genetic--all Parkers are naturals when it comes to killing." She lifted the gun a little, so that it now pointed at his head. "Now it's all about circumstances."

"How so?"

"We both have perfect aim, an extreme detest for each other, and loaded weapons. The way I see it, it's all a matter of the opponents. So, the question is, who's more likely to win--the cold-blooded serial killer, or the desperate sister with nothing to lose?"

A faint cry came from beyond the office door; baby Parker had been frightened by the gunshot. Lyle took advantage of the distraction, and immediately aimed his gun at her head, but she noticed the movement.

Two gunshots rang out simultaneously. The small cries from the office grew stronger; the door opened, and soon the cries faded.

The office was empty a minute later. Outside in the hallway, a limp form was on the floor, slouched against the wall, blood pooling. A few drops of crimson blood dripped onto the floor of the elevator, as the doors slid shut. When the doors reopened on the main level, there was more blood than before.

Carrying the baby wrapped in a small, blue blanket, Parker ignored the scorching pain of the wound on her shoulder, where the bullet had gone clean through. Her little brother, calm now that he was in her arms, was rested against her other shoulder.

There were no security guards around--that was when her first suspicions rose. Even knowing that shots had been fired, one guard was always appointed to stay put. She ignored the feeling though, concentrating only on the small child in her arms.

Parker turned the last corner, felt relief flood through her at the sight of the exit doors, and hurried towards them. Her palm was pressed on the handle, when a single form appeared behind her. She saw his reflection in the glass, and turned.

"I'm afraid I can't let you go," Sam informed her, aiming his weapon. "Mr. Parker's been called, and I'm to hold you until he arrives."

"Sam..."

He studied the small bundle she held with both hands, realized that she wouldn't reach for her weapon even if she could. He nodded. "Take good care of that little boy, Miss Parker."

She smiled in relief. "I will. Thank you."

"Goodbye." She turned and rushed outside, ignoring the gunshot that echoed behind her as Sam shot himself in the arm. No excuse worked with Mr. Parker, unless you had proof to back it up.

Parker tucked her brother into the car seat, shook off a dizzy feeling as blood continued to ooze out beneath her jacket and turtleneck, and drove off.

~~~~~~~~~

They were going as far above the speed limit as Parker was willing to risk with the baby in the car. She wanted to be far from that place as quickly as possible. The pavement was slick from the rainstorm that had just ended, and her headlights -on high beam- were reflecting the water. She turned the steering wheel one way, then the other, as the winding road demanded, and clenched her teeth at the pain shooting through her drained body. She looked at the radio just long enough to find a classical station to soothe the baby. Parker glanced back up, her eyes widened in shock, her foot slammed down on the brake--

--and the car screeched to a halt, just feet from the parked car in the middle of the road. Her headlights illuminated the figure of Mr. Parker.

She took a deep breath, kissed her brother on the forehead, and got out of the car.

Her father shook his head, obviously angry. "Angel--"

She pulled her gun out again, and took aim. "Move your car."


"Angel, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed.


"I said, move your car!" She took two steps forward. "Do it!"

"Put that thing away," he ordered. "You two are coming back with me to the Centre."

"Oh, the hell we are," she snapped. "You're never telling me what to do again, and he's not going anywhere with you."

"I'm warning you--"

"You're warning me?" she echoed bitterly. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm the one armed here. And if you think I'll even hesitate to shoot you..."

"You won't get away with this."

"I already have!" Her shoulder was aching from the weight of the gun, but it only added to her adrenaline. "There's no one to stop me."

"I'm stopping you."

"You? You?! You're the weakest of them all!"

"How dare you--"

"What? Tell the truth? You know I'm right. You're too obsessed with your own life--nothing else matters to you. You do whatever the Centre tells you to, like some obedient little puppy, because you're so power-hungry. Hell, you even have a son just to preserve your precious legacy."

"He is my son."

"Not anymore. I'm his sister, and from now on, that's the only family from this god-forsaken place he'll ever know."

"Angel, this is your last chance. Give him to me."

"Why? So you can kill him like you killed my mother? He is the only one of us left with a soul. I will not let the Centre destroy that. They can't stop me, and you won't stop me. Not now. Your life, and your power mean too much to you. I could kill you now if I had to, and we both know that I could ruin your career at the Centre with a single phone call, thanks to all the secret deals you've made."

Mr. Parker could literally see his control crumbling.

"This. Is. Over." She walked back to her car, but paused. Her eyes moved to the woods next to her, not knowing that it was the exact spot Jarod had run out of a few years earlier, when he'd first escaped. "You once told me that we were the same." She turned back, stared him straight in the eye. "I may be a monster, but at least I don't pretend to be a saint."

She got back into the car, and drove off, swerving around Mr. Parker and his car.

They were free.

~~~~~~~~~

"I'm so glad you like the house. I was hoping that someone like you would take interest," the elderly lady confided, walking alongside Parker through the large dining room. "When our neighbors left, Leonard and I knew that if we bought it, we could find a wonderful family to move in. College couples are fine and all, but we do adore little children."

Parker smiled in response, and stopped in front of the open patio doors. "How could I not like this place? A park across the street, this wonderful view of the bay, and that amazing preschool just blocks away. Plus, the house is large enough to really become a home."

"Yes, yes, not cramped at all. You could turn the extra bedrooms into an office and guest room."

"Or a play room. He'd love that when he got older."

"Your son is such a lovely baby. Cute as a button."

Parker walked into a second bathroom, looked around with
interest. "Oh, he's not my son. He's my brother."

"Oh..." The elderly woman looked guilty. "Sorry, dear, I didn't realize."

"Don't be," she assured, walking back to the patio. "His mother died in childbirth, and we were really never that close."

"If you don't mind me asking, where's the father?"

Parker looked out into the bay. "Our father is dead." She turned, and smiled brightly at her. "So, it was $180,000, right?"

"That's right."

Parker thought to the half-million dollars she'd drained from Centre funds; Jarod wasn't the only one who knew a few account numbers. She stuck out her hand. "Well, then, you've found yourself a buyer." They smiled and shook hands.

"Wonderful! You two will make a wonderful addition to the neighborhood. On behalf of San Francisco, allow me to be the first to say welcome."

"Thank you," Parker smiled. She fiddled momentarily with the blue angel charm at the nape of her neck. "I'm sure this will make the perfect home for us."

Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)

With Me
7/8
By Orania Lemke


He drove along the Golden Gate Bridge; actually, "inched along" would probably be a better description--5:00 Friday in San Francisco, especially during the holidays, was the traffic jam epitome. Jarod looked through the passenger's side window out onto the bay and smiled. It was just before dusk, and boats on the water were beginning to light up with their colorful Christmas lights.

Realizing that he wouldn't be going anywhere for a while, Jarod looked through the CDs he had, and stopped at one: The Foo Fighters. He'd bought it out of curiosity, and never gotten around to listening to it. He popped the disc in, and pressed the random play button; he was too busy frowning at the honking vehicles, though, to listen to the lyrics until a line caught his attention:

"Things just won't do without you, matter of fact I'm on your back..."

The words brought a thought to him, but he shoved it aside.

"If you'd accept surrender, give up some more Weren't you adored? I cannot be without you, matter of fact I'm on your back...."

He shook his head as the thought, and a picture of her, stubbornly returned. He pressed the eject button, took the CD out, hit the button on the door for the passenger side window, waited for it to roll down, and tossed the Foo Fighters out the window.

~~~~~~~~~

Five cars up, Parker frowned and watched in curiosity as something metallic sailed through the sky, down towards the water. Then, shrugging, she turned on the radio, hoping to find some music to put her back in the Christmas spirit after this half hour wait on the bridge. She tuned it to a generally peppy station, and a song entered the car.

"I play it off, but I'm dreamin' of you
Try to keep my cool, but I'm failing
I try to say goodbye, and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here..."

Not at all liking the thoughts entering her head, Parker reached over and turned the stereo off.

~~~~~~~~~

For Jarod, however, things weren't that easy. Too stubborn to turn off the radio, and unwilling to believe that every song playing in the Bay area could be connected to them, he switched to another station--his fourth in the last 30 seconds.

"You're cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem..."

He growled, and clicked to another station.

"Your heart hides a secret
The promise of what is
Something more than this
Offer me the world, how can I resist?
Something more than this..."

Growl, click.

"One is the loneliest number
Since you went away..."

Growl, click.

"Love's the only house
Big enough for all the pain in the world..."

Growl, click. The car was empty of music once again. Still, though he'd given up on the radio, Jarod found it hard to believe that there wasn't some music available to him that wouldn't send his mind and emotions reeling. Digging again through the CDs, he picked up another unopened one, and studied the cover. It was the Pretenders, a gift Julia had given him as a joke. Funny, he hadn't thought about her in the longest time. Shrugging, he pushed the CD in and waited for music.

"Oh, why you look so sad? The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
But don't, be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
'Cause I've been in the dark side too
When the night falls on you, and you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess, could make me love you less..."

His finger reached for the eject button, but something stopped him, as the words finally hit home.

"I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad, don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you..."

There was a realization just within his grasp; with a feeling of urgency, Jarod leaned closer to the speaker.

"When you're standing
At the crossroads, but don't know, which path to choose
Let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you

Take me into, your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you, I'll stand by you..."

And he got it, he really got it. Everything they'd done, suddenly thrown into perspective. He thought of the risk she'd taken in Washington, how she'd put herself out there despite the odds.

"And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone, you won't be on your own
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you

Take me into, your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you, I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you..."

The music trailed off and the song ended. Jarod sat back into his seat, and stared ahead in a sort of daze. The traffic began to move a moment later, and impatient drivers behind him honked their horns. Snapping back to reality, he hit the accelerator and finished the drive across the bridge in contemplation.

But as he drove through the city, got back to the real world, his earlier realization was forgotten, and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to just get out of this place. He didn't even know why he'd had the urge to come to San Francisco for the holidays anyhow.

~~~~~~~~~

She'd put a lot of work into the house in the last two months. Painting the nursery, pouring plenty of time and energy into finding the perfect furniture for every room, from the sofa to the toothbrush holder; she'd done everything imaginable to make it into a home.

As she sat that night, though, long after her brother had fallen asleep, and oblivious to the freezing ocean breeze thanks to a thick cardigan sweater, she was lost in thought. She loved this place, she really did, and her brother was the happiest baby she'd ever seen. Before, she'd been looking forward to Christmas here. But now...

"Maybe it's just too much at once," she thought aloud. "Maybe I'm going into happy home overload." She gave this more consideration, then stood up and went inside. The living room was completely decked, from a huge tree to stockings over the fireplace. She touched one with herfingers, and thought back to the makeshift stockings of last year--

"That settles it," she sighed decisively. "So what if next week's Christmas. I'm gettin' the hell out of here." She checked on her brother, then went into her bedroom and started packing.

~~~~~~~~~

"But, sir, don't most people who come here already know where they're going for the holidays?" asked the confused Delta Air employee.

His boss sighed impatiently. "Harold, I've already explained this to you three times. We overestimated the flight demand for Virginia this Christmas, so we've got zero passengers and mucho space. If anyone comes up here without a destination picked out, I want you to hammer that state in their heads until they buy a ticket. You got me?"

"Yes, sir. But, how am I supposed to convince them?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, that's your problem. Make a cute jingle, point out the cheap prices. Hell, I don't care if you have to strip naked and start doing the funky chicken, but you're gonna sell those seats."

"Yes, sir," he squeaked. Moments later, from the throngs of seasonal passengers, Parker appeared in front of him pushing a stroller. "Hello, ma'am," he greeted her brightly. "Happy holidays! What can I do for you?"

"Hi," she replied cheerfully. "Um, you know, I'm not really that sure. This is sort of spur-of-the-moment thing. Where's someplace nice to spend Christmas?"

His eyes brightened up. "Well, ma'am, I'd say Virginia is what you're looking for."

She gave him a confused look. "Virginia?"

"Yes, Virginia has everything--beaches, shopping, wildlife."

"It's below zero, I've seen enough stores to last me a lifetime, and I'm pretty sure anything interesting would be hibernating."

Harold looked around desperately, and spotted a sticker on someone's suitcase. "Well, you know their motto: 'Virginia is for lovers.'"

Parker's cheerful face melted. "Don't push it, buddy," she frowned. Studying the available flights schedule behind him, she spotted a plane leaving in 20 minutes. "Boston! There's culture, there's iceskating, there's hotels that have room service."

"But--"

She slapped down her Visa. "I'll take two seats."

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled weakly. He typed the order into his computer, and found a ray of hope. "I'm afraid the only two seats left together are first class. Due to the closeness of purchase to departure, and the fact that it's the holidays, I'm afraid it's going to cost you an extra $150 each."

"No problem." She turned her attention to her brother, tucking his blanket in around him as he napped. Harold sighed, and printed up the tickets.

~~~~~~~~~

Four minutes later, Jarod appeared at the same desk.

"Hello, sir. Happy holidays!"

"Happy holidays to you too," he smiled, studying the schedule.

"And where will you be going today?"

"Anyplace away from here."

Harold grinned. "Well, then, sir, might I suggest Virginia? You know what they say--Virginia is for lovers."

He stared at the ticket clerk. "You're joking, right?"

"Sorry?"

"Nevermind," he sighed. A flight caught his eye. "Hey, Boston! I'll be out of here in 15 minutes." He pulled out a credit card.

Harold gave him a withered look. What was with these people? "There's only one seat left, sir."

"No problem, I'm traveling alone." He paused, and frowned, "First class?"

"No sir, those were just taken."

Jarod sighed, pictured spending a three hour flight with some kid kicking the back of his seat, then thought of the alternative. "Fine, I'll take it."

~~~~~~~~~

"Now, Angie, you're sure he has enough toys?" Parker fretted, placing yet another stuffed animal onto the floor near her brother.

"Yes, yes, he'll be fine," assured the middle-aged woman, slowly leading her towards the door.

"This must seem silly to you," she laughed.

"Not at all," replied Angie.

"I'm just nervous about leaving him alone in a strange hotel room for so long."

"Long? You said two hours!"

"Still," she sighed with worry, "I don't know."

"Honey, he's going to be fine. Besides, it's not like you're leaving him to go pick up some stranger at a bar--you're getting stocking stuffers!"

"I should have just brought the ones from San Francisco. Then I wouldn't be rushing out on Christmas Eve."

Angie laughed. "It's okay. Now go on, off with you."

Parker stopped in the door. "I really do appreciate this. I know it's a lot to ask, leaving your family on a night like tonight."

"It's my pleasure, honey. Not mention my job--I am one of the hotel's babysitters, remember?"

"All right, you have a point." She looked back into the suite's family room anxiously. "Okay... I'm going now."

"Yes, dear."

"But I'll be back soon."

"Yes, dear."

"Just a quick stop or two."

"Yes, dear," Angie said pointedly. Parker closed the door behind her reluctantly, and decided that she should stop at a toy store and pick up another gift.

~~~~~~~~~

It was just before dusk, and despite the cold, Jarod had an irresistible craving for a chocolate sundae. Following the crowds of last-minute shoppers, he wandered around the main shopping district until he spotted an icecream store on the next corner. He was just about to enter, when something he'd seen registered in his mind. Turning back to the street, he looked, but saw nothing, and shrugged, then went inside.

Sitting in her taxi, Parker froze as she realized who she thought she'd just seen. She looked again at the corner, but no one familiar was there.

~~~~~~~~~

In the bustling toy store, she smiled at an electric train display. She'd have to get one of those as soon as her brother was old enough. Finally spotting an open salesperson, she flagged him down.

"Excuse me, but do you have any bears that talk?"

"Oh, yeah, tons. I'd say Buddy Bear is what you want—great for little kids, he talks when you squeeze him, and laughs when you tickle him."

"Perfect. I'll take one."

"Sure thing. Hey, Sheila," he called to a nearby employee. "Where are the rest of the Buddy Bears?"

She walked up to them. "Oh, I'm sorry, miss, but someone just bought the last one."

Exiting through the store's revolving doors, Jarod looked into his shopping bag and grinned. Sure, it was a stuffed bear for kids, but he just couldn't resist.

~~~~~~~~~

It'd begun to snow. Parker walked slowly down the street next to the water, enjoying the sight of fluffy white flakes floating through the dark sky. It really was picturesque. Shopping bags in hand, she was taking the scenic route back to the hotel; she'd given up on finding an empty taxi.

An old-fashioned 50s cafe on the block up ahead caught her attention. Big bulbs outlined the door and windows, and Jingle Bell Rock was drifting out into the cold air whenever a customer came or went. She grinned, stopped in front of it, and considered stopping for a milkshake, then froze as she looked through the window.

At a table near the back, just finishing up a cheeseburger and fries, was Jarod.

"My god." Uncountable emotions went through her right, and Parker found she couldn't even think. Her body, of its own accord, walked her straight into the restaurant and back to his table, where he sat with his back to her, starting on a strawberry milkshake.

At that moment, she was completely split. On one hand, she had the desire to just go up and hug this man she never thought she'd see again; on the other hand, there was the irresistable urge to take that glass of water the waitress had just sat down next to him, and soak him.

This was a serious deliberation, but not for long--as she watched him, she got angry, thinking of how Jarod was innocently sipping a milkshake while she stood with her heart pounding once again. The decision was made. "Screw it," she muttered to herself, "I've never been able to control myself before. Why start now?"

Parker walked right up to him, and just as he looked up in shock and realized that it was her, she picked up the glass, splashed the water directly in his face, turned and walked back out.

Jarod, also in a daze of his own, felt himself stand up and hurry after her.

She had just gotten outside, and looking to where she'd dropped her bags earlier, when he walked through the door. Curious customers were gathering in the windows, watching and murmuring among themselves.

She could've apologized. She could've acted like an adult. She could've walked away and never spoken to him again. But she heard the jingle of the door's bell as he came out, grew completely indignant, turned and instead just blurted out, "I may be condescending, arrogant, and at times irreversibly bitchy. I'm completely opinionated, and have been a hopeless mess since birth. I'm egotistical, rebellious and have no idea how to do the laundry--but damn it, man, isn't that why you fell in love with me?!"

Out of breath, and too ticked off to say anything, she turned and ran.

Jarod couldn't move, only watch as she ran out of his life once again--for about three seconds. Then, a woman of 60 stuck her head out the door and said, "Well what are you waiting for? Go after her!"

Staring after her, he snapped to and murmured, "What am I doing?" He broke out running after her, calling her name.

He caught up to her after four blocks. Just feet behind, he called again, "Parker!"

She finally turned, and demanded, "What?"

"Marry me."

Okay, before I get on with the legal mumbo-jumbo, I just want to toss out a gigantic "THANK YOU!!!" to y'all for reading this storyline for so long. Hard to believe this has been going all the way back since November. Anyhow, thank you again. All of your feedback for the entire "Enigma Lovers" series, from Paper Snowflakes to With Me, has been absolutely amazing.

Disclaimer: I don't own "The Pretender" or any of its characters. The song is "Just Breathe," by Faith Hill. Thanx for not suing! ~Oriana

~~~~~~~~~

With Me
8/8
(Proving the Faith)
by Oriana


A warm salty breeze drifted in from the bay and through the open windows, billowing through the thin white curtains before circling lazily through the room. It was late, but a full moon bathed everything in a pale light.

In the bed, two forms lie still, looking up at the ceiling in silent content. He'd wrapped one arm around her, and was rubbing her shoulder with one finger in a slow, circular pattern.

Smiling dreamily, she lifted her head from his chest, looked into his eyes. "Do you realize," she murmured, "what this is?"

He smiled back. "What?"

"Perfection. A moment of absolute perfection. We're safe, we're home, we're together."

"You're right. I can think of only one thing better."

"What's that?"

"The moment when you become my wife."

In response, she leaned in and kiss him. "Two days. I can't believe just two more days, and we'll be married."

"Are you ready?"

"I've never been more ready for anything in my life. It's been hard enough waiting three months, but planning a wedding takes time." She rested her head back on his chest, and smiled secretively. "Of course, we couldn't wait much longer if we wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've only got less than nine months."

His eyes widened. They both sat up, and he stared at her in happy disbelief.

"So this is what it takes to make you speechless," she laughed.

"I-I...I mean, you're saying that--" he stuttered.

She laughed again, took his hand and placed it on her flat stomach. "Congratulations. You're going to be a daddy."

Beaming, he hugged her. "This is incredible!"

"I know. I went to the doctor yesterday, and they confirmed. I'm three weeks along."

"I--I just... Wow." She hugged him back, kissed him.

Eventually, they settled back down, still embracing. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, even after she drifted off to sleep. "A baby," he murmured, brushing her cheek. "Our baby." He kissed her forehead.

Resting his head on his pillow, with one arm around her and another under his head, Jarod stared up at the ceiling.

He was oblivious to the tiny red dot slowly making its way across the wall, until he turned to kiss Parker again, and saw the beam directed at her side. "Parker!"

Too late. A split-second, his arm stung, and everything spun. The last sound he heard was the far-off cries of a child. The world went black...

~~~~~~~~~

"...to wake up." A slap to the face and cold water soaking him. Jarod slowly came to, his head pounding. "Come on, Jarod," a man's voice insisted, "wakey-wakey."

Another slap to the face. Slowly, reluctantly, he opened his brown eyes to the scene around him, then shot up as where he was registered. A cement cell. No cot, no windows, no nothing. Just a steel door in one corner. He tried to stand, felt something hold him back.

First thought: Where's Parker?

Second thought: Oh, god, I'm back.

Third thought... Jarod studied the man in the shadows next to him. "Cox?"

"The one and only."

At the moment, Jarod didn't really care. There was only one person he was thinking of. "Where is she?"

~~~~~~~~~

"Where is he?" Parker growled for the third time. The figure in the corner, hidden in the shadows, didn't reply. After the first time she hadn't gotten an answer, she'd lunged at him, only to find her wrist chained to the wall. Now, she glared at the chain, and gave it another furtive tug.

"What, is that bothering you?" Parker looked back in shock. "Maybe if you stopped being so violent, we wouldn't need it anymore."

"Lyle?" she whispered in disbelief.

He clapped mockingly. "Very good, sis."

"But how...?"

"What, thought you'd knocked me off?" He walked closer, and smirked. "Don't you wish. Damn close, though. As it is," he reached a hand up to his temple, "that bullet left one hell of a scar. I was unconscious for eight days." He leaned close, and grinned mirthlessly. "But now, I'm back."

~~~~~~~~~

"The whole situation is really quite simple," Cox explained neutrally, standing before him. "You screwed with the Centre. Not smart. You slept with the boss's daughter--doubly moronic. But here's the one that really takes the cake--you actually thought you'd gotten away with it." He leaned against the opposite wall, and chuckled. "Oh, that's good. Anyhow, we thought we'd let you two play house long enough--"

"Meaning you finally managed to find us."

"Whatever. Point is, we've got you back. And now that you're both where you belong, it's time for a little housekeeping." Cox held up a syringe.

~~~~~~~~~

"Funny, Lyle," Parker remarked innocently, "I would've thought knives and devices of torture were your weapons of choice."

His face darkened, and he held the syringe a little closer. "Don't push it. I could always exchange this for a vile of LS49. I know you've had previous experience with the stuff, but I bet our scientists would love the chance to see the effects of the poison on an unborn child."

Parker backed against the cold cement wall. "I swear, Lyle," she hissed, "you hurt this child, and I will make you suffer."

"How quaint, you're getting all maternal. Must get lots of practice, looking after our little brother."

That caught her attention. "What have you done with him?"

"As we speak, he's back in the loving arms of his real father. He's right where he belongs, just like you and lover boy."

"How could you do that? He's your brother, for god's sake!"

"Exactly!" he snapped. "He's a Parker. He'll grow up in the Centre, just like you. Only this time, we hopefully won't make the same mistakes that were obviously made with you."

~~~~~~~~~

"So baby Parker's back, and you have us stuck in cells. Seems to me there's no need for whatever's in your hand."

"Quite the contrary," Cox remarked, filling the syringe from a vile of clear liquid. "You see, we don't just want you two locked up for the rest of your lives--you're far too valuable. No, we're going to make things the way they were."

~~~~~~~~~

"You expect me to believe that a shot's going to erase our past together?"

"No. Besides, that wouldn't be any fun."

"You really are a psychopath. You realize this, of course."

"Of course."

~~~~~~~~~

"So what then?" he demanded.

"The only solution Mr. Lyle and I agreed would be enjoyable for ourselves," Cox oozed.

~~~~~~~~~

"This," Lyle said, holding up the syringe and looking at it with admiration, "really is quite remarkable. It makes your mind incredibly open to suggestion."

"You're going to brainwash us."

~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, yes," Cox replied. "The ultimate brainwash, in fact, given the circumstances."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning, when we're done with you, the love between Parker and yourself with no longer be."

~~~~~~~~~

"Instead," Lyle smiled. "You will feel the most absolute, extreme hatred possible."

~~~~~~~~~

"Then you go back to doing simulations, and Parker continues on the Corporate fast track. Simple."

~~~~~~~~~

Two guards entered her cell, and try as she might to fight them off, they soon had her pinned to the floor. Lyle advanced with a menacing grin, and held the syringe in front of her eyes.

"Really, sis, don't bother fighting. I already told you, struggle and we stick you with the LS49." He gave a pointed look at her stomach. "And we both know you don't want that."

"Lyle..." she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Not that it really matters either way."

~~~~~~~~~

The guards released Jarod. Cox, already at the now-open door, looked back and said, "Go ahead and unlock him." They complied.

"This... drug," he managed slowly, his breath becoming ragged. "What will it do... to the baby?"

Lyle smiled wickedly. "What baby?"

"No!"

~~~~~~~~~

"You see, this lovely stuff is as toxic to the brain as LS49 is to the body."

"What?" she whimpered.

"That's right, sis," he grinned, pricking her flesh with the needle. "Your baby is as good as dead--

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Parker shot up, a cold sweat just forming on her face. Her head darted about quickly, expecting to see Lyle. Instead, it was the same darkened bedroom, with Jarod beside her and the curtains billowing in the breeze. A dream, she realized, she'd fallen asleep after telling Jarod about the baby, and had a dream. Two deep breaths to calm herself, then Parker was out of the bed in a flash, moving about quickly but with the silent prowress of a hunted animal.

Jarod, awakened by her movements, slowly sat up and looked at her with sleepy concerned eyes. "What's wrong?"

She pressed a finger against his lips. "Shh... Don't talk. Get dressed, hurry."

Wide awake now, he nodded once and stood. Tugging on a pair of pants, he watched her pull something from the drawer, then gave a dismayed look. She pointedly ignored it--since he'd moved in, Jarod had been trying to convince her to get rid of the gun, but she'd never agreed. Now, she was incredibly grateful for it.

"Get the stuff, I'll get the baby." He nodded silently, and hurried out. The "stuff" she referred to was what they'd stuck into a large safe in the study's wall, in case of an emergency: his silver case, and all the papers and passports for a quick escape. Money was scattered in a dozen anonymous accounts, so cash wasn't a problem.

After picking up her brother, who remained asleep in the safety of her arms, Parker hurried down the hall and out the front door, with Jarod right behind him. He unlocked the doors to the car, and as he took the baby from her and placed him in the car seat in the back, the slightest sound -the crunching of stealthy feet on grass- came from behind her. Parker immediately spun, raised the gun and fired, a silencer preventing the echo of a gunshot in the still night air. A single black-clad form fell to the ground, motionless.

Jarod looked at the body, then her, and got behind the wheel. She got into the passenger's side, and he backed quickly out of the driveway. "How did you know?"

"Centre instinct. When things finally look up, always be suspicious."

~~~~~~~~~

Their hotel suite looked out onto the Mediterranean. The next morning, while Jarod continued to sleep, Parker reached out into a blooming tree whose branches leaned over their balcony, and plucked a few of the blossoms to place on the breakfast tray waiting for Jarod.

On her way to the table, she bumped against the desk. Jarod's wallet dropped to the floor. She put the flowers down, and bent to pick it up. A small white square fell to the floor--she caught it, and studied it with interest. A piece of paper. From the look of the warn edges and small tears here and there, it'd been opened and closed often. Curious, she opened it, then gasped as she realized what it was.

From the beginning of our times together, there has been an undeniable bond, a mutual feeling of trust and kindness. When I was alone, and experiencing fear that seemed almost inhuman, you would appear at my side, from the shadows of my mind, to hold me, to comfort and protect me during the worst trials of a lifetime. I have come to rely on you, and allowed you to become the soul I believed myself incapable of having.

The beginning of us was the mark of a journey, a long and frightful distance that we've traveled hand in hand. In times when hope seemed impossible, and faith was denied us by everyone but each other, we were able to endure anything. Through sheer will and love, we have survived. But now, I find myself once again without a soul, and forced to travel this last distance alone.

She forced herself to breathe, thinking back to what she'd done. A conversation with Sydney on night at her home, after she'd run home to the Centre, played through her mind.

"I know that you have your reasons," he'd said earnestly, "but what of Jarod?"

"I'm no good for him, Syd," she whispered back, staring into her tea. "I'm too screwed up for anyone."

"You really believe that? Don't you see that you're the best thing for him?"

"Maybe you're wrong."

"Or maybe you're scared."

She studied his face. "Everyone has a fear, even me."

"What are you afraid of?"

A thoughtful silence. He didn't expect an answer, but then she started abruptly, staring into the fire, "I've always made myself neutral to things--a sort of natural protective instinct. My fear is that one day, I'll wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, and go to work. Later, I'll come home, make dinner, maybe read a book, and go to bed. And that will have been the day--the day when there wasn't a moment, not the smallest moment, when I thought of him. That's my fear--that I will one day be immune to him."

"...Love doesn't work like that."

"No, but a Parker's mind does."

She snapped back to the present with a shudder, and forced herself to finish the letter she'd written in Seattle.

...And so I stand here, at the last turn of this journey, forced into a decision that leaves me trapped in the abyss of my own mind. The only comfort I find -and it is little- is in the knowledge that you finally know the truth. You understand that, despite everything, if my breath were taken and my life ended, this love I have found will continue.

What allows me to go on, is knowing that you will continue to live as well. And that as long as one of us survives, so does a part of the other.

It is this knowledge that guards me in the last tract of a long and fateful path. I do not know where or how this will end. My only hope is that you will one day understand what I have done, and forgive me for ending our journey alone.

A shaky breath. She carefully folded the paper back up, and stuck it in his wallet firmly. That letter was a painful reminder, but it didn't matter. Not now. Everything was okay, the past was behind them. They were safe.

~~~~~~~~~

Catherine Parker had only been to Italy once, as a child with her mother. When her own daughter had been born, she'd described a hundred times as bedtime stories the amazing world of Venice, the city of exotic people, beautiful old buildings and avenues of water.

They were still in search of a spot for the wedding, but had decided to take the day off, and just enjoy the area. Part of a tour group seeing the nearby islands, they passed one in their boat that the tour didn't even stop at; something about it, however, caught her attention, and Parker insisted that her and Jarod rent a boatsman to take them out to it.

Near dusk, they arrived. The island was small, less than a quarter mile long, and like a world all its own. Situated at the top of the island's hill, gleaming in the last rays of sun, was a decorative ancient Italian chapel. One look, and Parker nearly cried. She hurried inside, and marveled at the exactness of the details. It was the chapel from the dreams of her coma.

She turned and took Jarod's hand in her own. "This is it. This is the place where we should get married."

~~~~~~~~~

The pride of the Centre is its ability to track down anyone, anywhere, at any time. The fact that Jarod had eluded them for so long was a stinging slap to the face. However, managing to bring seven people to a secret wedding, including actual Centre employees, without a trace and no clue whatsoever of where'd they had gone, would be the final insult.

In flower-and-streamer decorated pews sat Sydney, Broots and Debbie, Samantha and her parents, and Angelo with Parker's baby brother, all looking on with great admiration, and a few teary eyes, as a cheerful accented voice announced, "You may kiss the bride."

They all clapped eagerly. Broots even surprised everyone -including himself- by giving a loud cheer. Jarod and Parker laughed, then resumed their kiss.

"May I announce, for the first time in public, Mr. and Mrs. Russell." Louder clapping, as they hurried outside before the bride and groom stopped kissing.

Stepping down the two marble steps hand in hand, they both grinned happily. Exiting the chapel, they were greeted not with rice, but bubbles, as the guests blew the translucent globes into the air along their path. Parker stopped, and tossed the bouquet of white roses and baby blue lilies back. With an excited squeal, Samantha jumped up and down as the flowers landed right in her hands. Everyone laughed.

~~~~~~~~~

The reception was held back in Venice, in their hotel's large antique ballroom, lighted with chandeliers and candles. The celebration lasted long into the night. Everyone was too happy to be tired; in fact, it wasn't until one in the morning, as her father picked her up and swayed to a slow dance, that Samantha fell asleep. By two, everyone else had followed suit, and headed up to bed, except the now-married couple, slowly dancing to soft music drifting through the speakers.

As the song ended, a thought struck Jarod. He took Parker's hand, and pulled her through the open doors out into Venice with a grin.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He looked around impatiently, and his face brightened at the sight of a single late-night gondolier steering his long thin boat in the water past their hotel. He waved him over, and pulled her with.

There was no one to be seen anywhere. Lamplight and stars gave everything a cozy glow. The only sound was the rhythmic beating of the gondolier's rod against the water.

"I've never felt more safe," Jarod confessed, grinning ear to ear. "We've done it, do you realize that? Despite everything, despite the Centre and your father and Raines, we've won. We're finally together." He held up his hand, and the gold band reflected dimly. "We've even got the rings to make it official." They both laughed. "This incredible! I feel amazing, like I can do anything." He gazed into her eyes. "And it's all because of you... We don't have to hide it anymore--and I want everyone to know it!" He stood abruptly, almost flipping the boat over, and shouted, "I love her! Do you hear me? We love each other!" He gave a whoop, and Parker could only laugh. The gondolier, with an uncomfortable blush, continued to stare straight ahead.

They turned a corner, and the boat again neared the hotel. Music was still filtering out from the ballroom's speakers.

Jarod hopped out as it stopped, and offered his hand to help her out. They paid the gondolier, added a hefty tip, and stood at the edge, looking into the water. Then, smiling, Parker pulled Jarod onto a stone bridge connecting two blocks of Venice. She wrapped her arms around his neck, he wrapped his arms around her waist, as a new song began.

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've
Never been this swept away

She rested her cheek on his shoulder, hugged him even closer. "I never want this moment to end," she whispered.

"Then you've got it."

"You've give me anything, wouldn't you?"

"Name the star, and it's yours."

All my thoughts seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart

'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?

He breathed in the scent of her hair, gently felt the soft skin revealed by the low back of her dress. "God, I love you."

"Not as much as I love you."

I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
I'm closer than I've ever felt before
And I know
And you know
There's no need for words right now

'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you

"I'll always need you," she whispered, as they continued to dance in a slow circle. They were alone, not a solitary other person around.

"We'll always need each other. That's what makes this so perfect."

There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?

"Promise me," he said suddenly, not sure why. "Promise me we'll always be together."

"Of course," she assured him. "Always."

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way

"I love you."

She smiled. Three little words, but every time he said them, she knew with the utmost certainty that everything was right in the world. She squeezed him lovingly, and whispered gently into his ear, "I love you."

Jarod smiled, looked up--

--And saw a still form on the roof of an opposite building. Just time enough to clutch her in reaction, before two shots rang out in the night. They fell in unison, collapsing side by side on the stone bridge. His hand fell to rest next to hers, with the tips of the fingers meeting. The rings, one gold, one silver, continued to glow.

On the roof, the shooter removed his black mask, brushed a hand restlessly through his dark hair. "Never send a sweeper," he murmured with pleasure, "to do a Parker's job."

He stood, put the gun into his trenchcoat pocket with a thumbless hand, turned his back, and walked away silently.

Back in their room, the wind fluttered through the open balcony doors. Her letter lay open on the desk, where Jarod had left it before the ceremony. Caught on the draft, it floated out, then silently drifted into the water.

Blood began to pool everywhere, dying the white dressed a deep crimson. Slowly it slid down the curve of her chest, resting in the nape of her neck. The small pool of blood continued to grow, surrounding the diamonds and sapphires of a small angel charm.

The paper disintegrated in the water, the ink blurred into faint blue streaks. Just before the letter sunk completely, only one line was still legible:

What allows me to go on, is knowing that you will continue to live as well. And that as long as one of us survives, so does a part of the other.


The End!