Couple of Half Brothers by Eugena

Between the two Pretender movies, there is a little spoof known as A Couple of Half Brothers.

Categories: Spoofs / Parodies, Post Pretender 2001 Characters: Jarod, Lyle, Miss Parker, Mr Parker, Mr Raines
Genres: None
Warnings: Warning: Incest/Twincest
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 649 Read: 378 Published: 02/01/23 Updated: 02/01/23
A Couple of Half Brothers by Eugena
Author's Notes:

Written on or before November 23, 2005.  Original format.

Rated "M" for implied incest theme (think typical Lyle)

Spoilers: Island of the Haunted promos and Pretender 2001


Disclaimer: The Pretender rights are owned by Imagiquest, TNT, NBC and FOX.  See additional disclaimers after story.


Jarod and Ms. Parker are caught by Raines' sweeper team.

RAINES: Good evening, my children.

MP: Children?

RAINES: I'm your father


Jarod and Ms. Parker looked shocked


MP: Both our fathers?



Jarod looks particularly distressed.


MP: (in shock, coming to logical terms with the event:) That means . . . we just . . . we're related?

RAINES: Jarod is your half-brother

JAROD: Couldn't you have just left that out? (Looks at MP) We're related?


LYLE enters, standing triumphantly next to MP.


LYLE: (happily:) That means you're only my half-sister. (Moves closer to MP) I always said you were beautiful when you're angry. (Smiles devilishly)

JAROD: (disgusted:) Lyle, she's your sister. You've always known -

LYLE: (interrupting him:) I haven't always known. Now I don't feel so bad about my feelings for her.

MP: (in more disgust than JAROD:) Get away from me!

LYLE: Didn't stop you, Jarod.

RAINES: (smiling) I always knew that the best way to duplicate myself was to have my children have children.

MP: I can't take this. I need a cigarette!

JAROD: What about your ulcer? What if you're pregnant?

MP: Can it, lover boy!

JAROD: (in awe:) She called me lover boy.

LYLE: Stop gloating.

MP: Daddy! (A realized pause) I mean Mr. Parker!


Mr Parker (PARKER) enters on cue.


PARKER: You'll always be my angel. I knew you were never my daughter, but I still love you.

JAROD: You're going to believe his lies?

PARKER: Shut up. I told you to stay away from my daughter. (Moves to comfort MP) I know all of this must be hard on you.

MP: Hard on me? I slept with my half-brother!

PARKER: You slept with Mirage?

JAROD: (annoyed:) His name is Ethan. He's our - Ms. Parker's half-brother.

PARKER: He is your half-brother, too.

JAROD: (Looks at RAINES) How is that possible?

PARKER: He is the child of my wife and Major Charles.

RAINES: (dramatic:) Lies, lies, all lies!

JAROD: I'm not Raines' son?

PARKER: Thank God, no. If anything, you are Sydney's son.


PARKER: That's best not addressed now. We might get another movie out of it.


All cast cheer briefly while fans shout, "More Pretender Movies!"


LYLE: But dad, why would Raines say Jarod was his son?

PARKER: Because he believed Jarod was his son. The truth is you are his son.

RAINES: (agonized:) No! I wanted Jarod to be my son. Backstabbing son, he has my thumb!

JAROD: (ignoring RAINES, to MP:) Mr. Parker telling the truth? I'm impressed.

PARKER: (to JAROD:) Alex tried to kill us. I couldn't let my Angel die without knowing. And why would he want to kill her?

JAROD: (confident:) She was pursuing me and was Raines' daughter.

MP: You mean he wasn't pursuing me for me?

JAROD: (jealously annoyed:) Don't even suggest it!

LYLE: (Moves to MP) Hey, sis, why not drop him? We'd be great together.

PARKER: Lyle, I know some excellent Centre psychologists -

LYLE: I'm not going to be one of Sydney's patients.

PARKER: I was thinking more of RAINES, your father.


LYLE runs off.


PARKER: (To RAINES:) You should go after him.

RAINES: I was more interested in Jarod and Ms. Parker's baby.

MP: I am not pregnant!

JAROD: Would it be that bad?

MP: Would the Centre be chasing it to be a pretender?

PARKER: We'd have another movie.


LYLE runs in briefly to say, "More movies, more movies!" JAROD is dancing to the 'more movies' beat.


MP: Count me out!


MP: My maternal instincts are kicking in. Leave my child alone!

JAROD: (happy) So, you are pregnant. (Embraces MP)

RAINES: My grandchild!

PARKER: My grandchild! I raised her like she was my own daughter.


Mr. Parker and Mr. Raines begin arguing.


JAROD: Father-in-laws.


End Notes:


Additional Disclaimers:

  This work is a transformative fanwork, written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit.  Canon characters and backstories are copyright to Imagiquest, TNT, NBC and FOX and applicable others.  This fanwork should not be taken as canon from the original Pretender and may not necessarily reflect Pretender's copyright holders’ original intentions.  Works rated M or MA are not intended to be read by minors.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this work are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The author hopes this work will help readers further enjoy The Pretender.


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