D for Demons by Joel Gomes
Summary: Jarod fights his inner demons.
Categories: Character Musing Characters: Jarod
Genres: Angst, Character Musing
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: The Alphabet Series
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 263 Read: 1424 Published: 29/12/08 Updated: 29/12/08
D for Demons by Joel Gomes

D FOR Demons


 


 


 


It really doesn’t matter where I look or where I go. Wherever I am, they are there. They are always there. I know that because I can feel them. And it only gets worse when the night comes. Every time I feign to sleep, that’s when they decide to make a full appearance and remind me of my sins; tormenting me with pleas of closure and understanding. All the things I don’t know how to offer.


I open my eyes and, more often than not, I see blood on my hands. Too much blood. Too much death. It never washes away. I know my hands are clean, but I still feel the blood tainting them. It doesn’t come out. It will never come out.


I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.


Ignorance is a weak excuse for murder.


I have to make up for a lot for the mistakes I’ve done in the past. A lot to redeem myself for. If only they wouldn’t scream so loud. Just one good night's sleep. That’s all I ask. That’s all I need.


They trained me to become anyone. Right now I want to be no one, a stranger among a crowd. With no guilt, no worries, no stress. I want to be me: Jarod. At least once. I want to take the time to understand, to assimilate, but I know it will probably take longer than what I have left to live.

End Notes:

We all have our demons, but not all us are able to face them. In Jarod's case, he tries to correct the past by making the present right, but no matter how he tries, he will never be able to undo the tragedies he has caused, the lives he has taken. Guilt really is a nuissance.

 

Feel free to say what's on your mind. I'd appreciate it.

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