Wrecking Ball by Sarah
Summary: Something I wrote for a challenge on a fic list *g* It's a PWP of the worst kind *g*
Categories: Spoofs / Parodies Characters: Brigitte, Broots, Miss Parker, Mr Parker, Other Centre Character, Sam, Sydney
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1341 Read: 2090 Published: 29/08/05 Updated: 29/08/05
Wrecking Ball by Sarah
Disclaimer : The Pretender and all character associated with it belongs to NBC and 20th Century Fox. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

Wrecking Ball

(don't ask me why I named it that, it just popped into my head *g*)

By: Sarah (JD's Moegirl)






Miss Parker walked through the front door of the Centre and stopped dead. "What in..." Sydney, the distingushed psychiatrist himself, was in the main hall doing the limbo. He was very good at it, but The Limbo!! Gar and Willie, the two head sweepers, were holding the limbo pole as Syd wiggled underneath it.

"Gar? Willie? What's going on?" Miss Parker was almost speechless, something that didn't happen very often. Willie smiled and looked superior, not saying a word. Gar looked sheepish as Sydney stood upright to greet Miss Parker. "Hello, Missy!" he shouted over the blaring music. "Come and join us! It's a paaaaaarty!!!" He turned back and started under the slightly lower pole again, making as much noise as he could slipping beneath.

Miss Parker shook her head and continued her walk down the hall. 'Daddy isn't going to be pleased about this,' she thought to herself. Passing the tech room she saw Broots with a large coffee mug, trying to open a bag of miniature marshmallows. The bag came open suddenly and disgorged its contents onto the computer keyboard. Broots snorted disgustedly and swept a few loose marshmallows into the cup, which Miss Parker figured held hot chocolate.

"Broots, what in the HECK is going on?" The computer tech, who usually had a mild heart attack every time he saw Miss Parker, grinned and held up the cup of cocoa.

"Want some? Come on! Let's join the party!" Without another word Broots was out the door to join Sydney under the limbo pole. The polka music was getting unbearable, and Miss Parker already had a headache. 'I'll just go see what Daddy has to say about this,' she decided. Making her way through the throngs of people now lined up to do the limbo, Miss Parker tried not to think too hard about what was going on. It just made her head hurt even worse.

The door to her father's office was closed, but there was definately someone in there. The sounds of giggling were proof of that. Suddenly, the sounds eminating from the office were shouts of pleasure, and Miss Parker didn't even want to CONSIDER what might be happening. Just then the door flew open and Bridgitte walked out, her hair still wet and soapy, dressed in nothing but an incredibly tiny towel wrapped around her. In her left hand was a bottle of Clairol Herbal Essence shampoo, and Miss Parker realized with disgust what had been going on. "You've been watching too many commercials," she commented dryly to Bridgitte.

The brunette glared at her. "What I do with my hair in my spare time is my business. Besides, Daddy said I could use his shower." Glancing down the hall at the festivities around the limbo pole, Bridgitte dropped the shampoo and ran down the hall shouting, "Hey! Save a spot for me!" The mental image of Bridgitte wiggling her way under the pole with nothing on but the towel was nearly enough to make Miss Parker call Ralph on the great white porceline telephone. Getting over her nausia, she decided that her father was probably down in one of the sub levels, since he had a fully stocked pool and tv room down in SL-27 One of the perks of being the daughter of the man in charge was getting to know things like that.

Miss Parker pushed the button for the elevator with a twinge of fear. Pushing the fear down into her subconcious she entered the elevator, punching the button for SL-27with more force than necessary. The elevator started its long ride down, only to be stopped at SL-12 to allow more party-goers in. Two people entered, and Miss Parker recognized Fenigor, along with a lady friend he hadn't bothered to introduce before. Fenigor was tied up with that grey tape, what was it called? Miss Parker thought a second....oh, yeah, duct tape. She did a mental double take. Fenigor, a lady, and duct tape? What was this, some kind of parallel universe? The old man smiled langoriously through the duct tape over his mouth, and nuzzled the woman's neck as best he could. Miss Parker had to turn away before she lost the lunch that was churning around in her stomach.

Trying to ignore the two....lovebirds, Miss Parker concentrated on the lit button. Finally, the elevator stopped and Miss Parker nearly ran through the doors. The sounds of more partying reached her ears, and she nearly ran back to the elevator before she had to see what else this day might throw at her. The thought of riding back to ground level with the two still in the elevator stopped her, and she made her way dubiously closer to the noise. What greeted her was a sight she would remember for the rest of her days, on dark nights waking from a cold sweat, and whenever she closed her eyes.

'Daddy' Parker was standing on the long conference table, a large circle of light around him. Standing to the left and right of the table were cat-calling men and women alike, holding mugs of hot chocolate and shrieking towards her father, who was dressed.....in pink silk boxer shorts.....and nothing else. Clothes were strewn everywhere, and from what Miss Parker could tell from the state of everyone, this was a strip tease. Stunned completely out of words Miss Parker ran forward and grabbed her father, jerking him off the table and to the floor. The cat calls got louder as she stumbled and fell on top of him, face to face with the very drunk visage of her father. Someone must have spiked the hot chocolate, she realized.

"Daddy!" she shrieked, trying to disengage herself from the tangle of people, "What in the name of Hannah's Hell are you doing? Wha...I mean, how....I...Daddy!" Miss Parker ran out of words, so she stopped trying to speak and concentrated on untangling herself. Daddy Parker grabbed his daughter and pushed her off of him, getting to his feet and glaring sternly at the hooting mob.

"Alright, now, shut up!" The stereo cut off abruptly, and Miss Parker was relieved to see that everyone had calmed down and was looking at her and her father. He continued, "This has gotten out of hand! Now I want everyone to...." He trailed off, and Miss Parker waited expectantly for him to finish his lecture and get everyone out of there and back to work. "I want everyone to," he continued, "LIMBO!!!" The crowd started cheering, the music started up again, and Miss Parker's father was the first one in line for the limbo pole. Miss Parker stared in shock as she was swept along with the crowd, trying not to go under the pole, but being forced to.......

Miss Parker jerked upright in bed and put her hand on her forehead. She was drenched in cold sweat, and her head was pounding. Realizing that it was only a dream Miss Parker breathed a sigh of relief and ran her fingers through her tangled hair. She laid back down, pulling the sheets up to her chin, and tried to go back to sleep. Her last thought before oblivion took her was "That's the last time I eat gumbo with chillie peppers and refried beans before I go to sleep."


The words I had to work into the story were as follows:
Pink Silk Boxer Shorts
Hot Chocolate (and marshmallows)
Duct Tape
Clairol Herbal Essence Shampoo
SL-27


Mail me and let me know if you like it *g*
This story archived at http://www.pretendercentre.com/missingpieces/viewstory.php?sid=4052