Usual fanfic disclaimers apply

Night
by Chris
Rated PG

The door falls shut behind me, I shove the keys onto the table, my coat somewhere onto the sofa. All I can think of is a hot shower and my bed. I’m so tired. I just want to sleep. I didn’t even realize that I was walking up the stairs until I stand in front of the bathroom. Somehow my clothes found their way down to the floor and the hot water pours down on my aching body. I feel like I haven’t slept in days – think I haven’t slept much. The usual time in front of my closet is dismissed I just pick a nightgown without looking at it. Sleep. Darkness. Silence. I switch off the light and lie back into the cushions. It is nearly dark inside the room. I feel alone. And suddenly tears start running down my face like all the nights before. I can’t stop them. I have to think about Thomas and the tears are coming ever faster. Stop thinking about the dead think about those who are still alive. My thoughts wander through endless mists as I’m trying to sleep. I’m so tired. There are still thoughts on my mind that keep me from falling asleep. Still tears are streaming down my face and still I don’t know why. I do know but I’m not ready to admit it. It’s because of Jarod. Because I love him. Because he’s far away. Because I don’t know if he loves me. What would happen if I told him of my love for him? What would I do when I’d be close to catching him the next time? Would I let him go? Would I bring him back to the Centre? I do not know. And I don’t know how to stop those tears from falling. I realize that my sobs must be audible in the whole house. Otherwise it’s silent. Silent except for my crying. I long for sleep. I am so tired. The sun’s shining through the closed curtains. I finally did fall asleep last night. Had there been anything unusual? Don’t think so. Just another evening when sleep didn’t come easily.