Jarod in full doctor mode but while he's the patient. I've never read anything like this before. I've seen Jarod have to operate on other people but have never seen him have to tell someone else how to treat his wounds, and definitely not while he's holding them at gun point. You convey all of the tension between the pair and show us their thoughts and we can see they are both really innocent in their own way. I often wondered while watching the series why they never shared their thoughts with each other so they'd understand better why they do the things they do. It's mostly fear that drives them. I think you'll resolve most of this. In your other works you have them finally level with each other or discover the truth on their own so that they can reach a resolution. It's impressive and thougth provoking. The pages are flying. I can't read this quickly enough.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 09/03/22 10:01 pm
Another tight and short chapter. I'm loving every word. You really know how to keep the pages turning.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:51 pm
Jaw=Floor.
It's plausible that the Triumvirate mole is lurking post Carthis after what happened on the flight. I think they'd want a closer look. It makes sense that Cox would hitch his wagon to the bigger horse, too. Brilliant!
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:50 pm
Zina seems to feel validated. Are you Zina?
This is amazing work.
"No one knew what his mode of transportation was. No one knew where he was or where he'd come from and had no clue as to where he might going next. Moreover, no one knew who Jarod was.
(Not even Jarod.)
Brandt's research, prior to Jarod's arrival at his PD, had yielded nothing helpful. NCIC had nothing on Jarod Holliday. "
Truly amazing.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:46 pm
I like how in the previous chapter the VHS was the problem, and in this chapter Parker wishes she had the VHS. You touch on many topics and it shows how alike and different everyone is. Again, I love the technological upgrades on the Centre side of the story. These are one second reads. Your chapters are short but I can't complain because you say what needs to be said and still show transition and move us forward. I'm impressed.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:43 pm
Brandt is old school. I'm like that too. I always thought Jarod moved too quickly.
Cops don't like cocky. But Brandt seems to value honesty and is suspicious and I don't blame him. I love the procedural crime novel feel of this and I'm glad it's not some crossover with the Profiler. Brilliantly done. The chapters are tight and easy to read.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:40 pm
Cell phones are everywhere and it is ridiculous sometimes. I can see this operative's perspective. Male fragility is also a problem. The moment she displays a lack of interest in sex with him he continued to try to talk about sex instead of taking her hint, and when she gets even more blunt about not wanting sex she's suddenly "crazy." That was subtle, but I get it, and it needed to be said.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:37 pm
Your original characters are extremely well fleshed out and devoloped. I would like to know more about Zina. Are you Zina? I know that sometimes writers will give a character their traits. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just curious. From what I've learned about you I haven't learned much about you. You aren't active on social media, there are no photographs of you anywhere, and eight different fans tell me you're from eight different countries. Or maybe you're like a Jarod type. I don't know. You don't have to answer my questions if you're uncomfortable.
This hand sanitizer assault occurs well before Covid 19. It's chilling. This is fabulous work.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:21 pm
I applaud you for the technological upgrades. It's the Centre. They should be on the cutting edge this way. You don't alter the characters except to provide some much needed growth, but to keep things relevant the technology has to change and you've done that wonderfully.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:07 pm
The pandemic had everything so messed up so I'm glad you're here. I am finally reading all of your other novellas and novels. It's an impressive collection. This begins brilliantly. You illustrate with words and have a remarkable feel for the characterizations.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the R&R, Kyle McLane.
Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]Date: 09/03/22 09:04 pm
Who do I have to pay to get you get to keep writing here forever and updating regularly? I thought I was done with this fandom but you pull me back in and I don't think there's any escape. It's so well written like a novel and I love the dialogue. The characters ... are the characters I know and love. I could read you forever. Now you give us are too? I love it .I have always loved this site's art. The more art the better! Could you put some on the story too so it shows up with the title? If that is possible? Please don't keep me waiting too long for more fiction. If you can't get the art that's fine but please keep writing. Thank you!
Author's Response:
If you feel you need to pay someone you should absolutely support the fabulous webmistress Jacci. This is the home of Pretender fanfic and she's the home owner. Show her some love. Oh, you're not done with the fandom. No one is ever going to be done with the fandom. There is no done, there is no out, there is no over. It's our Hotel California.
I didn't give you art. I gave a screenshot. The real art on the website is glorious, no doubt. I love it, too. But don't confuse my pathetic screenshots with real art. I spent all of one minute splashing some color in to lighten Jarod up a little bit. I'll try to do what you want (drop a shot on the title thing)- if it's possible. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: needlepoint Signed [Report This]Date: 06/03/22 07:56 pm
Awesomeness. You gotta add art to everyone of your stories. Sorry about the other reviews. I won't harass u about showing me your selfies with Michael T Weiss any more. I love the direction this has taken and the tension and J's anger. They are so in character and it's so plausible. omg I need more.
Reviewer: Lorraina Signed [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 09:58 pm
Love it! Keep the stories and the art coming please! This Jarod shot is the scene from wake up? He looks pissed! love it! Did you manipulate this to make it fit the scene or was he just already looking like that? what episode is that scene with parker? How did you make them look like they are in the same scene? That is too awesome! I love all the art here and glad you contributed. Kudo to whoever asked for art! Thanks for writing!
Author's Response:
Yes, this is Jarod from Wake up. I don't know that he looks angry. A bit stern perhaps. He certainly wasn't smiling just then. I didn't manipulate his face. I'd feel too weird about doing something like that, and there are hundreds of Jarod-looks-homicidal-as-fuck scenes. Creating one isn't necessary. I added some red (too much; he looks like he's ruling hell now--and I suppose he's capable), and fucked around with brightness and saturation. And then added Parker from the "michael patricksode"; she was sitting at a table with that fucker. They don't look to me like they are in the same scene. Thanks for reading and reviewing and the kind words about the screenshot.
Reviewer: Cindi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 07:01 pm
I'm impressed not only with your skills as an author but you art as well. That's more than a screenshoot. You set the scene to match the story and it's beautiful. You found a way to light up Jarod so we can both sides of his face and eyes he is always so darkened. Thank you for making my day doubly. Rumor has it you're a vidder too which makes you a triple threat! I want more writing and more art. Please!!
Author's Response:
Oh, no, this isn't art. There's some color, loads of it, and now our boy looks like he's usurped the throne of hell. No, no, I'm not any kind of threat, and to my knowledge there aren't any Pretender fan videos created by this username. *shrugs* There shall be more scribblings. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: Jade Anonymous [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 05:16 pm
Oh my god I want more. You rock. Your writing is so brilliant. I love the art work at the beginning too and love whoever told you to add it. Where did you get it from? It's so beautiful. More!!
Author's Response:
Ha, it's not art. I took a screenshot. That's all. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: Renee Collins Anonymous [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 06:15 am
Can't get enough! More please? They are so HOT when they disagree. Jarod is dangerous and gorgeous, and is so HOT when he's angry and you write him and Parker and everyone just like I remember! It's like coming home. More.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you for reading and reviewing, Jen.
Reviewer: Jen Signed [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 02:13 am
Ugh Jarod let it all get too personal too soon and that's a mistake he makes way often on the series so I think it's plausible he would do this and sabotage the budding relationship. He's only drinking because he's been celebrated as a hero and that's a uniquely American thing they do is celebrate people who can use a gun to kill and yes that is plausible af. More more more please?
Author's Response:
Yup. But even toddlers can squeeze off a round and drop a body. Point and click. There shall be more. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: Gunner Signed [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 01:58 am
"Put that away before it kills someone." lol. Jarod does have the most brutal and savage.. and beyond mean glare I've ever seen. I mean damnnnnnn. Shit is scary. It's not Jarod's glare I guess. I saw that Burn Notice episode again with Michael you know who. I know you have a whole thing about not saying the names... like we might summon an actor or something? Is that it? He's a google search from showing up here out of curiosity? Or are you just trying to end all gossip as we know it? Anyway will be respectful and not spell it out... but on Burn Notice he was he's like furious the whole time and enraged... I was like damnnnn man. So far from being the sweet Jarod... when Jarod wasn't being evil. I can't even...
I love that Parker is all blase about it all. I love that Jarod expected her to care enough to be angry. She knows he's drunk and that it's a him problem. He should feel bad about the diary. I mean that's her mum's damn diary and he stole it and never gave it to Parker. If she shoots him for it I'm not going to blame you.
Author's Response:
Mhm, the glare. Your "dammmmmnnnn" is absolutely warranted.
I don't have a whole thing. It's a let's-be-respectful thing and the I'm-not-comfortable-with-gossip thing. I made that clear many times.
Parker isn't going to shoot him; that would be too easy. I could end this so easily if she would simply shoot him. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: TheDarkAngel Signed [Report This]Date: 05/03/22 01:09 am
I ’! When Jarod messes up he really messes up. Even I forget about the diary and I'm totally obsessed with the show 😂. I hope Parker is forgiving of him and his tude..he is drunk and feels rejected and women rejecting him is a new thing for him and something that only Parker does. I listened to those songs and I love them. Real country is actually good. Willie Nelson is one of the outlaws and Roseanne Cash is the daughter of another outlaw and they are all good people with actually liberal ideals. Johnny Cash sings a really great song . it's Hurt and is really good. The other crap on country radio is basically "'murica, gun, drunk, trunk" and is embarrassing. I do wonder how this will work out for the Jarod and Parker. Happy ending? I'm too hooked to stop reading. Post more soon please!!!
Author's Response:
Yeah, Jarod's gonna Jarod.
I like those two tunes as well. Typically, I try to only use songs I don't like/don't often listen to. I don't want some weird association thing- or something. I can't disagree; I would hang with my Dad when I was small, and he listened to Haggard, Kristofferson, Jennings, Cash. Of course, I did venture off to discover other sounds-- which brings me to: I'm probably the only person on the entire planet who prefers the original Nine Inch Nails version of Hurt (I also prefer Cash's version of Ring Of Fire to anyone else's to date). I'm a weirdo. I can neither argue or agree in regards to country radio today; I don't listen to it at all.
There could be some happiness. We shall see. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Reviewer: Chloe Signed [Report This]Date: 04/03/22 04:59 pm
It keeps getting better and beter and I keep wanting more and more. It's so addicting. I would like to suggest fan art or screen shots from the series.. not just on the cover of the story but in chapters and all through the story. Don't get me wrong. You write visually and illustrate with words but I also like to see Jarod. I'm too big of a fan of his and too big a fan of your writing. I'll go away now. Sorry.
Author's Response:
Hi. I saw this a minute ago and located my dvds and copy/pasted into paintshop, and did the thing you wanted. I can't art, but I can screen shot-- sorta. I added some lighting because Jarod is so fucking dark---and I don't think I noticed that until ten minutes ago. I can't believe I didn't notice that before. I knew he was dark. I didn't realize he was quite so literally dark.
Please never ask me to do that again. I had all sorts of fucky reminders of first grade when I was laughed at by teachers and other dicks because the horse I drew looked like a deranged lightbulb. I guess they were expecting Modigliani or Rembrandt.
I'm glad you like the scribbling. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
[Report This]Date: 03/03/22 08:38 pm
I love how in character they always are and how rich the dialogue is although succinct. You are always a smooth read and 26 chapters in and I'm still glued to this.I hope you post more soon and please please update all of your other stories.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Chloe.
Reviewer: Chloe Signed [Report This]Date: 21/02/22 03:11 pm
I'm visiting the fandom again after having some of Dean and Sam's delicious nachos. American junk food is the most sinful. Your characterisations are spot on. I'm a casual Pretender fan and notice how ☠️ from Supernatural was from The pretender? It is no coincidence. You're one of the authors I return to and don't want to reap. 😉 Please continue your hard work pleasing the masses. We have to keep our fandoms alive.
Author's Response:
Hello, Death. "Sinful" is one way of wording it. Too much American junkfood can probably kill even Death, so do be careful (my scribblings can't be all that wonderful for one's health either). Oh, right. Yes, I know, the Carthis monk's player portrayed Death. I love that guy. You'll soon learn if you haven't already that there "ain't no such thing as coincidence." Our Divine Lady of Ice tells no lies. It's true. We must keep our dear fandoms alive.
Reviewer: Death Anonymous [Report This]Date: 19/02/22 08:18 pm
This is a hell of a ride abd I'm still glued it the story. Hope you'll update soon. You really capture the characters perfectly.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Jane Doe.
Reviewer: Jane Doe Anonymous [Report This]Date: 18/02/22 04:44 pm
Oy wow I love this and omg your writing is so super addicting and I can't get enough. I read your last response to my review of Oblivion and I'm very confused abt my ? abt Michael T. Weiss because you said you'd never give details but then you answered every question I asked about his looks and how he acted and .... what do you mean by Yes and no he does and doesn't look Jarod how can that be??? How can anyone be nicer than Jarod???? Are you trying not to answer? You are 2 discreet. Why can't I talk about him here? He was Jarod for all of us so it's good to talk abt him. You can tell me all abt when you have met him honey. I met him and maybe got too close lol but he's sooo hot the hottest and sexiest man alive!! He's a celebrity so itss ok. If you hugged him or something tell the world!!! Tell me. I want the details!! I want that selfie of you and him. Don't you like him?!!!!!!!!! Write faster!
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: 16/02/22 10:23 pm
MORE¡!!!!!!!!¡ I want a happy ending ¡!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response:
Er. Happy ending? Um. We shall see. Thanks for reading and reviewing, JarodandMissParker4ever.
Reviewer: JarodandMissParker4ever Anonymous [Report This]Date: 15/02/22 07:47 pm
