This is top notch. Miss Parker wasn't the only one who was shocked. Post more soon.

Amazewows. I read the last chapter first if you didn't know. :) Your descriptive work is aweinspiring. Not many writers illustrate so well with words. The transitions between scenes is seemless too. It goes without saying that the plot is original and exciting. You are a talented scribe and my favorite. It's a shame that you aren't on the Pretender writing team...speaking of, I prefer this. :) I'm so happy to see Broots, Raines and all the characters I love from the original universe.

Hi that was good can't wait for more.

Top notch Pretender caliber quality writing and characterisations as always. You really know how to flesh out the characters and dialog so we can SEE in our mind what is transpiring. You ARE a writer, m'dear, the best Pretender writer bar none. This story is what I'd love to have seen Craig Van Sickle and Steven Long Mitchell do with the series. Thanks for your constant continuity and consistently amazing story telling abilities. I can't rate it anything but a 10.

Yay! Another update to a story and so soon after your other one. This is one of the many things I appreciate about you. You don't leave us hanging! [Except maybe when it comes to 'Sweet Dreams' :-)]

Another wonderfully descriptive chapter. You truly have a gift of fleshing out charecters that we think we already know making them better. I am always left wanting to know more!

Thanks as always for both writing and updating.

Excellent beginning, especially the first part. I liked how you chose to start your story with a set of secondary characters we knew so little about and offer us a plausible portrait of what they would be like a few years later.

I won't dwelve into any particulars right now, because I intend to give a full review when the story is finished, but I will congratulate you on your writing. Keep at it!

Your first sentences always pull me in and refocus my concentration. I have to say now that the way you flesh out the characters is aweinspiring.

And now we know that Raines was present when Jarod was brought in as a child, very sublte.

The only fault I can find is that you need to add another chapter. And soon.

I love her silent treatment, Jarod earned it. And I love that kiss. Most authors lose my interest after chapter one but you piqued mine and kept the tension. Exceptionally done.

I still find it funny that you are reluctant to write and are your worst and cruelest critic.

You have carved out a niche for yourself, I've said this before I know so bear with me here. You're not a shipper but you don't shun shippers and that gives you objectivity.

You do justice to the characters, their dialog and you have a still have an amazing knack for setting the scene and "weaving the tangled web."

You have mastered the craft of writing like few others, if any, have. I love you twisted ingenuity and intense 'take no prisoners' approach. You're not afraid of the dark or pain or tears. And you don't force the story but rather allow it flow seemlessly and effortlessly.

As for grammar, I saw no errors, nothing unrealistic, no inconsistencies or those outrageous leaps of logic Jarod makes during the series/telefilms. You explore humanity. It's the only way to give us an original plot. Most fan fic plots have been done to death already and here you've give us something fresh.

This story is brilliant! I find it entertaining, heartfelt, heart stopping. It's drama. It's life, and you write it well. I've said it before.

In closing, I'd once again like to plead with you to continue the J/P incest fic, to go somewhere you haven't gone before. I know you're not comfortable with the genre and hope you will let that discomfort motivate you to write the story.

Thank you for writing, writing well, writing often and sharing! <3

"presumably  expendeble". I could tell my namesake was having trouble asking Miss Parker for anything and there is he showing the gun at that moment. They aren't going to kill each other now are they, Mirage? You scare me with your end notes.

This is shaping up to be quite a shipper fic but I'm not surprised as you've written them before. So far I love it and the angst and drama is what I expect from the serie. All I ask is please don't make it too fluffy.

Amazing story! I can't wait to read more:-)