Reviews For Nemesis
Title: And Then One Day

This is the best and most all-ecompassing, answers-all-questions, plausible, well written, in-character Pretender stories I've read to date and the first I've read authored by you. My favorite part is that you didn't change their personalities to fit the narrative. They can be together and still be who they are and still wasn't a happily ever after thank GOD because they are so trite. No one can be happy forever. They can have sex and a relationship and not be married. Any chance of a sequel to how the pair are doing?

Reviewer: Michelle Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 19/04/19 01:33 am
Title: Bait

Ok so work has to wait a d@mn minute. I LOVE the way Parker keeps him guessing and the way you keep me guessing lol. Have I told you before how much I love your original characters. It's pretty amazing Mirage. Janeane is a trip.

 

This part is so telling :

"Celeste. You look nice," the woman whispered.

Jarod acknowledged the words with a smile.

"And not at all like the man she said would be coming for her."

 

WOW. We know what Parker thinks of Jarod now. WOW. SO complicated. If I didn't have to work I could read how it ends. Thank you for writing and inviting me into your world. This story is so different than Forces of Nature and is still different from everything you've written. It's fresh and raw. It's amazing. You really are amazing.

Reviewer: Jen Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/12/16 04:01 am
Title: And Then One Day

Impressive. I'm so grateful and eternally impressed by your skill and talent. You write so many high quality chapters and stories and really develop the characters well and bring the story together so perfectly. You have a solid command of the language, the characters and wow the pretender universe. There are so few really truly great pieces of writing and yours are among the finest Miarge. Yours are my favorites. I keep hearing about this one, about the almost happy ending, or kind of happy ending. This is the one where Jarod is not evil. I sure hope he isn't.  Nearly wet myself reading Forces of Nature lol. The way you write puts us there with the characters. But that's a compliment. I just skimmed each and every chapter and see no extreme evil Jarod. So far Jarod is seems on the square. I love this first chapter so much. "hurt" I hope doesn't mean something really bad. So excited to read the rest and now I have to go to work. It's not fair.

Reviewer: Jen Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/12/16 03:51 am
Title: Reckoning

Oh god. Mirage you did it again!!! Scared me for a minute. When I reread it I thought it was Jarod dreaming but it was Miss Parker dreaming and she kept telling Jarod she hated him...AS she was waking up so she said it aloud said she hated Jarod aloud and he heard her? Guess he knew she was having a nightmare.

He would understand that we can't control our speech and actions when we're dreaming. Any other man would have been hurt or mad but you show us that Jarod cares so much about her that his concern was only for her because he didn't say "WHAT? You hate me?!!!" He just tried to wake her up and assured her, telling her that she was awake and asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She didn't. She never does. She's so strong. Wow. I noticed that she was cold again, shivered when he put another blanket on her. Subtleties. So perfect. The way she couldn't talk and this Oh Mirage this...""Jarod whispered, "I am so sorry that he hurt you", and his voice wavered when he spoke- his voice wavered because he had a heart, and it was aching for her and because he loved her with all of it.""

Mirage that kills me. He loves her like that!! That's what I wanted. He loves her so much he killed Sammy Tanaka and framed Michael...he probably would have killed Michael but the cops got him before Jarod could and Jarod wanted to protect Parker so much that he couldn't leave her!! So he framed Michael to make sure he never got near Miss Parker again and she won't have to testify against Michael or ever see his stupid face. Oh God! You tied it up girl. That ending. I love how they teased each other at the end of this. 

"Why, Miss Parker-" Jarod gasped in mock trepidation, as if he'd been absolutely scandalized by her proposition. "Are you suggesting that we sleep here tonight? Alone?"  Parker stood, placed her hands on her hips. "Who said anything about sleeping?" She smiled wickedly. "Follow me upstairs, Agent, and I'll show you what I'm suggesting." 

  He hoisted her up into his arms. "And it's Jarod." He admonished playfully.  "Oh? Well, when I'm done with you, Jarod, you'll be answering to any name I choose to give you." She shot back.  "Mhm, we'll see about that." Jarod growled against her neck.  "You're damn right you will.

Because she kept calling him "agent" and he hated that and kept correcting her during the whole story lol and she kept on anyway. That is most perfect and beautiful ending but no.... it's a beginning. Sequel Mirage!!?!! Please. She needs some help with the past. Let Jarod help her. Or show us where they are and how they are getting on. Please. This is the best story I've ever read in my entire life. I just want more. Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us. You got mad skillz girl and big brass ones. I'm serious. It's the best story. Ever. Bows. Waves bye with tears in my eyes. Life would go on better if you'd give us more of this. If not then just know I'm grateful for this story.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:53 pm
Title: Parameters

Oh hell no. Dont' blame my girl Parker at all but I'm so glad that Jarod didn't really betray her but I see how she jumped to conclusions. It's not easy to recover from what she's been through. So Jarod was trying to push up his sleeves because it was hot and... but Parker was still cold with a robe on. So she's not really handling things well and the cold is probably in her mind. I like the way you add little subtleties. She's traumatized. Wow. I wouldn't have thought to have her be cold still but she was kept in a really cold place by Lyle. But Jarod doesn't point that out to her? I guess she told him to butt out. I'm curious if Jarod will confront her abou the issues.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:37 pm
Title: Apprehension

So Nemesis is the greek goddess of retribution. There is no Onyssius. This is more like it. Jaord really is so apprehensive in this. I love the way you included the fantasies with heels and guns and cuffs probably for the fantasizers in the fandom lol. Brilliant. So they forgive each other for everything but still there are apprehensions and Michael Patrick was apprehended. I still need that cold shower.....

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:31 pm
Title: Lucidity

Ooh. Oh. MY. GOD. I hoped there would be sex. BUt lord have mercy on my heart!!! I didn't know it would be like that. Hell I just about need a cigarette after that. I don't even think I can think coherently. My fingers will numb or something. WOWSA. I've read allot of sex in my life and love making and just f^cking but this...you've raised the bar so high. That shades of Gray lady ain't got nothing on you honey. That. This. This. More of this. The way Miss Parker teases him later omg lol and didn't care if he was screwing around on a girlfriend. It always seemed that Jarod and Miss Parker having sex was something I'd never see ever and it made it seem impossible and now I've seen it. I can't thank you enough. This. I love this. I blush at just thinking of trying to write that kind of scene. Oh boy. Wow. That was perfect for this story and just the way I would imagine it...if I could have your imagination. Wow. Incremental. OMG. I'm blushing. I'm going to finish this story and go take a really cold shower. He was so gentle with her. I love that!! Everything I ever wanted to see and everything I never thought I'd ever see. Thank you for this gift!

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:28 pm
Title: Hope on the Horizon

That was the shortest chapter ever. The dancing and the threat at the end made it all better. MP doesn't want to talk about their relationship or anythign serious? I can see why I think. A little tension in the air but overall what could be expected. THey aren't really the most healthy pair. But I love them anyway. You write them so perfectly..

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:18 pm
Title: And The Truth Shall Set You Free

Ya know I could go in for some more syrup. Just think of me as a pancake and pour on the syrup by the tons. I love Jarod and Miss Parker together and sweet. I was wondering where Angelo was at and now I'm so glad he's appeared and in a hell of way!! Brilliant to have him do the cleaning. Oh God. Married to Lyle. Ok that was gross so I understand the secret now. You gave us a hint a while back too when she had to sign 2 docs, one to set Iris free and one that would imprison MP. You are a sneaky little genius Mirage. So they embraced!!! Finally. Your muse rules!!

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:15 pm
Title: Body of Evidence

Stop grimacing at the chapter titles and the story. I love this story. It's my favorite

Finally someone calls Jarod on the manipulation. I know you do it often.

Jarod:"I'm sorry, I truly am, but I think it's in your best interest that you talk to someone." 

MP:"And just who the hell are you to decide what is best for me?" 

Jarod:"Someone who cares."  Parker scoffed.  "Believe it or not." Jarod added with a shrug.

Oh yea. Funny part is when Olivia thought Miss Parker and Jarod had had a toasty affair lol... and a few chapters ago MP  thought that Olivia and Jarod were having an affair. LOVE what you did there. Awesome. Really was brilliant the way MP pretended to be a cop to get into the Centre and fooled the guy with Donuts and flattery and she called Jarod a prick. Lol.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:10 pm
Title: Captive Hearts

Janeane makes me lol like a crazy person. People are looking at me like I'm insane. The sexual references and she can't help it obviously. Ok those scenes where Miss Parker was imprisoned.... hell! Oh God. I've never read anything like it. The torture, the choice between hurting her shoulder more or hurting her bloodied toes more.. it just seems like you went to a whole nother place to write some of this. Like you do in allot of your stories, the dark ones especially. How would you know that? Like how you would know that her shoulder would be so sore that she'd have to try to tiptoe to get relief in her shoulder but when she did her toes would hurt so much and would be sore and bloody that she'd want to hang from her hurt shoulder. What a terrible choice. Pain or pain? And the toes being bloody that's joint and skin pain. How would you know it would be like that? You went deep into the character? You had to have done that. Mind blowing writing and amazing skill and talent. I'm envious. I want Michael Patrick to die so much.The kiss with Lyle. I can see Jarod's disgust at that. Miss Parker's defiance is just like Miss Parker. Her killing Tracer. Tracer giving her permission, yelling at her to kill him. And Jarod's reaction to seeing her being forced to take life to save life. The way he dropped his head.. oh my God. This whole chapter Mirage is emotional and dark. I can't even.... wow. Just wow. I bow down to you. That's some damn good writing. I thought at the ending they were going to patch things up but then Jarod blew up again. God. But I understand his frustration. I want to know the secret.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 11:05 pm
Title: Constraints

Oohh ohhuuh Mirage. I love seeing Sydney guilty about MP for a change! I love the relationship you expanded on and developed. It's so beautiful. Oh hell no. Jarod threw MP's words back at her refusing to be another stupid mistake. Good for him for finally walking away from sex. Is that a first or what? I love the way you have them come together passionately and then the violent stop of passion. Mirage my girl you are the real deal! Funny moment. "personal. Persona! you're entire personal life..." lol Jarod is so Jarod. Parker is so Parker. I like how you logically let Jarod find the truth by reading her because he knows her so well and based on info he's collected and just watching her reactions. No far fetched leaps of logic. Some gut work but also some fact finding. It makes the story all that more plausible and possible.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:53 pm
Title: Negotiations

I fell over in my chair with relief but damn if that wasn't close. Thank you for it not being Jarod having sex with Olivia. But yeah I get that Jarod doesn't care much about casual sex and will have sex with anyone. Zoe proves that lol. Crapola. I know you don't hate Zoe. You like Zoe I read that before. You're open minded like Jarod. So you should like Jarod because you are so much like Jarod. lol. Ok so who the hell does Jarod and MP both know? Wrecking my brain here.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:46 pm
Title: Domestic Affairs

WOW. That image you painted of Jarod seeing the explosion in the reflection and he could see Sydney's face and Sydney could see Jarod's face and the explosion and Jarod could see Sydney's reaction to not only the explosion but Jarod's reaction too. Wow. WOW. So Jarod goes to the computer for support... I know I am missing something. I'll scream at you if I don't get answers. What is on the computer? I think he must have had PTSD and survivor's guilt. OMG! Tell me that Jarod isn't in that bed!!! Mirage. Not with Olivia?!!! I liked Olivia!!! Argghhhh noooooooooooooooooo!!! Why? Mirage Why?

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:42 pm
Title: Metamorphosis

F^Ck. You had me fooled there for a minute and scared sh!tless. Mirage. Don't do that again. I thought Miss Parker was toast and I dont' like taost. Oohhh ooh the way Jarod catches himself and has to rephrase to keep from shutting down. The little subtleties Mirage are so perfect. I feel sorry for Lyle and I think Jarod could have become another Lyle another Dexter same with Angelo and Kyle and Einnad. All the red files could go evil. It's not Lyle's fault. I never thought about it like that before.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:36 pm
Title: Duplicity

Damn. He entraps her, gets her to admit something knowing that it's the wrong thing. Oh GOD. You build up the intrigue and I just want all the answers now. Ahhhhh. I love it. So much suspense and action. I just can't enuff.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:31 pm
Title: Truth and Consequences

You are freaking brilliant. You have a great sense of humor. Talking about Miss Parker's eye and the injuries she had

"It should be examined. There could be damage to the orbital floor." 

"The impact was lower." 

A fraction north, and she'd be seeing two of Jarod - without the presence of his clone.

"

lol. Nicely done. Miss Parker is strong here and doesn't need Jarod. You don't make her the damsel in distress. Jarod is so used to playing the hero and the doctor. He wants to play all the roles and she won't let him. The struggle is so fun to watch. You do right by the show and the characters. Can't believe I didn't read this sooner.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:21 pm
Title: Unmasked

Lookie here honey the chapters can go on and on forever and I won't care a bit because you write beautifully. Wait. No cliffhangers? Why not? Lol no I'm kidding. Thank you. The last one was a doozey. I'm glad I didn't have to wait a week or two or months or however long it took for you to update to see if Jarod lived. That was probably painful. I was hoping they were going to have sex on that beautiful bed you described. With the ropes maybe... Jarod with the ropes. OH. MY. God. Mirage. He does tie her up a time or 2 on the show and in the keys it didn't look so good. The rope placement across her chest. Looked painful. BUT Hell the way he goes into detail to describe the different marks left by different types of restraint and gag lol. What a devil. Did you study Michael allot? It seems like you did. You know his Jarod mannerisms. It's weird how well you write these characters. The best part of this chapter is that MP ran to help Jarod. You showed us that she cares about him. You the author who had Miss Parker kiss Jarod with pistchio laced lips and kill him. lol. Admit it Jarod is hot. Michael is so hot!!! Admit it. Go on u know u want 2. lol.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 10:16 pm
Title: Masquerade

Oh. My. Godd. Mirage. I have always wanted to see Jarod and Miss Parker at a masquerade and I always wanted him to know it was her and trick her into dancing with him. Look what you've done to me! Don't get me wrong here now because I LOVE Circles of Hell but this is bloody fantastic. I know that Jarod can go completely dark and do all those things and the story could go that way and is plausible but OMG! This. He's dark but still himself. I can say after reading every story on this site that THIS is the stand out favorite and the way you write them and the way he is with her and what do you mean there are typos? There is nothing wrong with this story. It's perfect so far. Don't rewrite this. Please god don't rewrite this. Let me finish the other 13 chaps and print it out and THEN you can have your way with the delete button. Til then leave it as is. It's raw and I love it. Love how cop-ish Jarod is. Sooo sexy. He's fine in a suit even an FBI suit. Just like watching the show on tnt and they are always in character when you write them. I'm fifteen years old again and I need my fruitloops while I read lol. I used to totally eat cereal and watch tp and drool milk down my chin lol. Now I'm clickign next and Jarod better still be alive lol.

Reviewer: Leslie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20/04/16 09:43 pm
Title: Reckoning

this is pretty much one of the very few best stories out of my beloved pretender universe that i ever read! you left me breathless and absolutely raw with every sentence and every chapter. and i was even too excited to read more to take the time an review these great, absolutely magnificent chapters! I am very sorry for that but i always read until two in the morning and was too exhausted to write. now that this beautiful story has ended, i make due:

i loved your tone, the unbelivebale dark atmosphere you created even without dialogue and the very very intersteing, authentic twists and turns. i think you draw both of my favorite characters absolutely astonishing and lovely. and of course the sex scenes.. wow, they were great. few authors can write something like that. you have SKILL, that's just amazing.

so thank you soooooo much for writing this and please feel hugely appreciated.

take care,

daniela



Author's Response:

Daniela, thank you so much for the lovely review. Please don't apologize for not reviewing earlier or reviewing every chapter. I know how real life can be. I'm truly glad you liked it. You are so kind. Thanks again.

Reviewer: lipamo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/12/15 04:49 pm
Title: Alibis

Jarod- How are feeling?

Miss Parker- like another 5 mgs of morphine and I'll take that to go

I am laughing my ass of. God, he gets wild when he gets angry..that look in his face. I can see it now. I don't even know what to say. You are good.

Lots of good old Jarod and Parker banter. You write it better than anyone hon. Angst, angsty.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen" lol.



Author's Response:

I had no idea folks were still reading the old fics. Thank you for reading and reviewing, Lorraina. Jarod can be a handful. Mhm, I know the look (not a fan of it).

Reviewer: Lorraina Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22/11/14 02:24 am
Title: The Leak

Oh oh wohhhoo! I'm typing with one hand and holding my mouth with the other. Mercy woman. It's hot in here ..... Clever of you to have a leak and a leak. Doctor Jarod OMG...so I'm totally freaking out now.

Reviewer: Lorraina Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22/11/14 02:17 am
Title: Falling

OMG Broots is so funny! Time of death... lol. The interrogatee and interrogator scene is terrific. I mean seriously who even bothers trying to write so well anymore. Agent Burke is hilarious! So was the tattoo shop guy. You create the best original characters I've ever read Mirage. This already is better than the Rebith and Saving Luke so if you're wondering what I think now you know. Nick is her brother. Oh man!

Reviewer: Lorraina Signed [Report This]
Date: 22/11/14 02:08 am
Title: Bait

Ooh ooh I love Jarod's rage and MP's 'just can't miss Letterman". It's like reading a crime thriller with our Jarod as the main character in places. Brilliant Mirage.

Reviewer: Lorraina Signed [Report This]
Date: 22/11/14 02:04 am
Title: And Then One Day

lol. You were typing up one thing and then you were typing this because you didn't fight the muse! I can see Jarod's disgust, and hear the fear in his voice when Sydney tells him that MP was injured. My God! Girl! You were born to be an author honey and now you are MY all time favorite author. Woohee! Agent Jarod Spence. You were thinking of deleting this? How many more stories have you deleted that we never saw? Don't delete anything. We Pretender fans are tough. We already waited 12 years for a 3rd movie. Bring. IT. ON Mirage.



Author's Response:

Um, great. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Lorraina. I'm glad you're liking this. There are many unread stories, many I almost posted. I can change the names and places and basically submit them anywhere so it's not a complete waste of typing (it is, however, a misuse of the Muse, but what she doesn't know..)

Reviewer: Lorraina Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22/11/14 01:50 am


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