Reviews For Hyper
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Title: Hyper

Hi I like this story.

 Reviewer: Katescats Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 11/01/15 11:03 pm
Title: Hyper

another little story where the first scene is the best. The dance and the dialogue in the room are very cool ;) this idea of Jarod as a DJ is much overrated, why do you think he'd love to stay a the dysco? Ahah 

 Reviewer: missparker87 Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 11/06/13 08:29 am
Title: Hyper

Thank you very much!

 

I'm SO happy when I can read a new romantic story with more than 1000 words ...

 

I really loved the way Jarod acted when he saw her dancing with this horrible guy ...

 

THX 



Author's Response:

I don't think I could write a story with less than 1000 words ;^)

 Reviewer: Thara Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/08/07 08:12 am
Title: Hyper

 Overall, I liked the story idea.  I think there were parts that were underdeveloped for instance:

  • what happened to richard the night of the party?  where did he go after jarod told him to go away?
  • did jessie go back to work the next day/monday after parker ran away with Jarod.  did raines, et al question her since parker went out with her?
  • what happened to the center.  you mentioned the fbi but did jarod and parker have something to do with it or was it something/one else?
  • just a timeline issue.  parker and jarod have a 4 yr old son five years later and jessie and john have a child.  if jill is old enough to play w/adam she's at least 4 which means she and john married very shortly after jarod and parker left, and she (and parker) became pregnant almost immediately.

Again, the plot was good and the wriiting very good for a non native english speaker.  many native english speakers don't do as well!

p.s.  I'm only leaving this now because of the way you requested the reviews. Nice touch! 



Author's Response:

I'm glad you did leave it like this :^)
I'll try to think about them with me next fics... especially the timeline one...

 Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/08/07 10:14 pm
Title: Hyper

Cute story Kris!  I esp. liked the dance scene with the brother and Miss Parker at Hyper.  You pulled things together nicely.  Interesting twist on the clone concept too.

Glad to see your Muse is working again, you need to feed your Muse more chocolate and Pretender epsiodes.  (big smile) We need more stories from you. 



Author's Response:

Chocolate and Pretender episodes... Good tip... Thx :^)

 Reviewer: RaChell Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 11/08/07 05:47 pm
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