Cliffhangers: aarrrrhhhh! Meanie! Can't leave us hanging there! Is poor Jarod truly trapped? He's not thinking the unthinkable, is he? Write faster, please. *whimpers a little at the thought of a long wait*
Author's Response: Sorry to leave you hanging! I'm afraid you haven't seen the last of cliffhangers for this story. I honestly don't do it just to make you poke me. As soon as the next chapter is beta'ed I'll put it up. Reviewer: Tinanaz Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/10/07 08:47 am
a promise buried in a threat wrapped up in a warning
Loved that line. Loved the chapter. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you like where this story ends up going. Reviewer: whashaza Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 04/10/07 11:53 pm
Two in one week! It's beyond exciting. There were so many great lines in this. I loved "This was so very Parker: a promise buried in a threat wrapped up in a warning." and the part about family history, made me laugh out loud. Loved the Jarod/Parker interaction at the end. I'm very anxious to read more!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! I hope it was as much fun to read as it was to write. I'll try not to keep you anxious for too long. . . Reviewer: TLM Signed [Report This]
Date: 04/10/07 11:26 pm
spoiled we are!! thanks for another chappie so quickly :).. it was a nice treat. YOu have a great/fresh writing s tyle and it's a pleasure to read.. the MP/J interaction at the end was very realistic (IMO anyways!).. and the full-circle concept from the blood sample/flashback was great.. and you can know see by this rambling disjointed review that my muse is not with me at all and hence the reason i ahve no posted in ages, as i seem to be incapable of stringing together coherent sentences, so i will end with a WONDERFUL job, and i cannot wait to read more and end this before i shame the english language anymore.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed! I wouldn't worry about getting *too* spoiled, though. My muse is back to being uncooperative. Hope when she finally gives me something new you keep reading. (there, shamed the english language right back at you:))
Date: 04/10/07 03:42 pm
Hey!
It was a wonderful chapter! You did very well with the center piece from Jarod's POV, and you had to feel for Syd wanting to help but not.
It will b e interesting to see how Parker's character handles her decision.. i sense some flip-flopping.
You have a wonderful writing style and obviously the world's best beta's a gal can have. I shall look forward to the next installment, and pelase take your time. The slower you are.. the better i look ;)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! It will indeed be interesting to explore the mind of Miss Parker. Hopefully, when all is said and done, she'll still make sense and still be fun to write for (oh boy is she fun to write for!) I do have the very best betas in the world. It takes a special kind of person to take my twelve page rough drafts, pound them into something resembling a comprehensible story, edit and polish, and still send them back with heaps of positive feedback. Betas are my heroes!
I would love to take my time and make you look better, but I really don't relish the thought of being beaten to death with a foam poker stick;)
Reviewer: KatieQ Signed [Report This]Date: 03/10/07 01:57 pm
Nicely done MP! Can't wait to see where you take us on this wild ride with the next chapter! Looks like you're surviving Sarah. (wink, wink)
Oh yes, just remembered that I must throw soft center chocolates and pink roses at your Muse's feet. Watch out for the thorns!
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed it! Hope the wild ride didn't make you too nauseated:)
You throw those roses and chocolates; maybe that'll distract my muse long enough for me to snap a leash on her and keep her from running away:)
Reviewer: RaChell Signed
[Report This]Date: 03/10/07 01:01 pm
Love this chapter. Poor Sydney's just scrambling around trying to make a difference, but it seems pretty hopeless. Interesting thing with the key. Can't wait for the next piece!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Sydney will do a lot of scrambling in this story. Bear with me, and he might eventually accomplish something. Glad you're reading! Reviewer: TLM Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/10/07 09:27 am
Good chapter. Hated the fact that MP decided to keep Jarod clueless, but then again, it's something that I can see her doing. Just wondered about the escape part and the vent, think Jarod could've managed something. ;-)
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really looking forward to more. Hopefully soon. ;-P
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! More is definitely in the works! Reviewer: whashaza Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 01/10/07 01:49 am
I like!! I hope u intend to post more chapters soon...
Author's Response: I do indeedy! Hope u keep reading!
Date: 10/08/07 11:18 am
This is wonderful. I really liked your tactic: he got away, no he's caught, no he got away, no he's caught, no he got away, no he's caught.
However, initially I felt like I was reading any number of other stories I've come across or shows on TV - not that it wasn't well written, but I wondered what would set it apart from other stories.
Then I read ch.2 and I didn't have to wonder at all. This chapter is fantastic. It takes one of the concept of the "renewal wing" and gives a fresh and unique perspective. The introduction of a new and intriging character is a good addition. I particularly enjoyed your portrayal of the political culture of the Centre beyond the Lyle/Sydney struggle over Jarod. I've always believed that one characteristic of a good writer is to leave the reader wanting more and you have definitely done just that. I can't wait to see what happens next.
From reading the above reviews, it sounds like you found a beta reader. I also proof, but I'm an example of those who can't write, teach. So if you ever need a backup feel free to contact me. topanga90290@sbcglobal.net aka Terra. Warning: I'm tough too; you can ask KatieQ, Jacci or Onisius.
BTW, I didn't do a ranking for your Dream piece, I don't know why it came up with 3 checks.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks Topanga! Reviewer: Topanga Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/08/07 01:02 pm
Great chapter. Centre politics are the best. Here's hoping Sydney and Miss Parker have something up their sleeves.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, TLM! As for Syd and MP. . .all will be revealed in time:) Reviewer: TLM Signed [Report This]
Date: 04/08/07 01:40 pm
Very nice and well done. This chapter is thoughtfully written and very cleaverly crafted, a nice piece of intense and cliffhanging reading. Good luck on your next chapter and good luck with Sarah! You'll need it. (big smile)
Author's Response:
Thanks, RaChell! And no, Sarah has not breathed fire through her emails. . .yet;)
Love ya, Sarah and RaChell!
Reviewer: RaChell Signed [Report This]Date: 04/08/07 11:37 am
Wow MP.. this just gets better and better! It was well written and i enjoyed the 'rare' glimpse into the political structure of the Centre. Looking very much forward to the next installment!
Author's Response: You're way too nice, Katie! Now my head's starting to swell (runs to get a beta to puncture swollen head) :) Thanks for the review, and I hope you keep reading (and writing.)
Date: 04/08/07 08:25 am
Wow. This chapter is incredible. Well done on the dialogue and setting the scene. So looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you like. Reviews like this keep me writing!
Date: 04/08/07 07:17 am
Very good! Intense and exciting, nicely done. Looking forward to more and the wild ride ahead. I have a feeling your Muse has a exciting journey (story wise) in store for us.
Word of warning: Sarah is tough so if you accept her offer of beta reader just be prepared! She can make you cry and is unmerciful as I well know from experiencing her tough beta'ing first hand! So just remember I warned you!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review and the--um--warning:) I have a feeling I'm gonna need tough if this story is going to live up to expectations. Glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you keep reading. Reviewer: RaChell Signed
[Report This]Date: 31/07/07 01:57 pm
VERY nice! i love it from the beginning. and that's rare :o)
can't wait to read more :o)
peace!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. There will be more, because I do aim to please;) Reviewer: Jazzy Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 30/07/07 08:23 am
Please, don't stop now. :)
Author's Response: Don't worry, there's more in the works. This first chapter was a joy to write. The next few may get a little hairier as the plot thickens, but I'll do my best to keep posting. Reviewer: Nia Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 30/07/07 04:31 am
Good start. Wonder why Sydney looked horriefied. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it whashaza! Never fear, I will attempt to answer all the great questions of life, including just what goes on in our favorite shrink's crazy, complicated mind:)
Date: 30/07/07 02:23 am
Hey!!
What a wonderful beginning, i especially liked how you made us think that J might have outfoxed the pursuit team.. and then all hopes were dashed!
You definately are a talented writer
Author's Response:
Thanks Katie!!
(big, goofy smile)
It's great to get positive feedback.
Reviewer: KatieQ Signed [Report This]Date: 29/07/07 08:42 pm
Oh very good. I like how it starts out very much like an episode. And you really had me thinking Jarod was in the clear when he wandered off after the hostage-situation had been resolved. Wow, thanks so much for those kind words. I have big plans for this story, but I'm still working out some of the details and problems. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Also, thanks for offering to beta for me. I've read some of your work, and it's excellent. I'll be in touch!
I like the fact that your Miss Parker is as ruthless as she is, reminds me of how she was in season 1. But in many ways I think it would be very natural for her to be that way after the way she dismissed Jarod in the limo in IotH.
Overall a very nice beginning, will be looking forward to reading the story as it develops.
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: 29/07/07 01:07 pm
