Title: The End

I love your story! How about a sequel? would be fantastic!!

Reviewer: Anna Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/09/09 01:34 pm
Title: The End

Hi

  Just read your story it was very good.



Author's Response: thanks so much, glad you liked it. Was a good ride hopefully

Reviewer: Katescats Anonymous starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 19/07/08 09:18 am
Title: Jarod Draws Walter

I love the story.  I am interested to see how the rest progresses.  Waiting patiently.

Reviewer: Tahnya Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 01/05/08 04:14 am
Title: Jarod Draws Walter

Hi

  Just read chapters 1-18 WOW! Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Reviewer: Katescats Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/04/08 08:55 pm
Title: Jarod Is Caught

I also found chapters 15-18 of "Gracie" on another site.  Are you in the process of bringing them over here?

http://www.retribution.pretendercentre.com/stories/gracie/gracie15.php



Author's Response: That website is actually mine lol, i havent updated it in ages there, but yes its being brought here, I will update it now for everyone

Reviewer: Taryn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 05/01/08 10:12 pm
Title: Bailey Goes Outside

great work!  nice depiction of Bailey's reaction to outside trip after 4 yrs. of being inside.  wonderful interplay btwn. gracie and jarod. both are strong characters in their own ways, caring more for others than themselves.

this version flows better and shows improved integration, with no parts left hanging.  everything seems clearer and characterizations make more sense so that behavior isn't questioned. i think, too, that you make ambivalent feelings okay this time and it works. yea. 



Author's Response: Thanks topanga, glad you like it. i do know that it is better than the orginal, i had a little trouble with that one lol, hence why i rewrote it with jaccis help. yay on the interplay, its always a good thing when you comment on these things

Reviewer: topanga Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24/12/07 06:37 pm
Title: Jarod Is Caught

Interesting enough to make me want to read more, but there sure is a lot of sexual abuse of our boy in this story ~ I sincerely hope it is all fictional.

Author's Response: there is a lot of sexual abuse? lol, i dont remember there being that muc lol. but i do hope you like it and we will be updating soon. thanks Jeanne B

Reviewer: Jeanne B Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 20/12/07 04:50 pm
Title: Medical Exam

what happen with sydney and Parker?? what are they doing?

Author's Response: Rita, i cant say what happens to Syd and Parker, we didnt actually write them into the story.

Reviewer: rita Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 10/11/07 07:18 pm
Title: Medical Exam

Thanx for the new chap!

Well, that's enough to make me not want to get a physical ever again:)  Bailey's very cute (I'm in love already!), Gracie's still very interesting even though I fell like I've almost figured her out, and it's very realistic how Jarod acts so defiant but then is so easily manipulated. 

Hope you keep posting!  I'll keep reading!

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/11/07 08:02 pm
Title: Jarod Eats Grubs

Thanx for the new chap!  Gracie's character is finally coming into focus.  Talk about brainwashing . . . It was clever the way you incorporated all the Australian trivia into the story.  It's just the sort of thing Jarod would be naturally curious about.

Lots of implied brutality in this chapter . . . It's interesting that Gracie went straight to Jarod after what happened.  Reverse Stockholm Syndrome?  Whatever the cause, it certainly makes the story interesting.

Hope there's more soon!

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/10/07 01:46 pm
Title: Jarod Is Caught

Is it just me or was this chapter suposed to be in a different story.  I didn't know any of the characters aside from Jarod and Lyle.  Made no sense to me in the context of this story, but the chapter intrigued me enough to want to read the story it was supposed to be in.

Wendy

 



Author's Response:

Sorry Wendy,  i put the wrong chapter in, the right one has been put up now.

note to self: pay attention to what you are doing 

The story that chapter was from is a story called At What Price.

 

Reviewer: cywen69 Signed [Report This]
Date: 23/10/07 09:14 pm
Title: Plane Ride

Yippee!  New chap!  After eight chapters, I still can't figure Gracie out.  She can seem almost sweet at times, then she'll say or think something that just makes you go *huh*?  Or *ouch*!

It's sad that Jarod never got to talk to Sydney.  So, he's heading east to some country that says "boot" instead of "trunk."  Hmm.  The plot thickens:)

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/10/07 08:01 pm
Title: Let's Have A Little Look

Now there's a chapter to make you cringe . . . but that's probably the idea.

When I wasn't cringing, I was very intrigued by the dialogue.

Just one suggestion:  you might consider upping the rating?  And maybe adding a warning or too?  I think this story might need it.

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 22/09/07 08:11 am
Title: Jarod, door and Parker

Wow.  Grace is sick and twisted, and yet I can't help liking her.  Very strange feeling.  Jarod's going to have a time getting out of this one in one piece.

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 15/09/07 09:03 am
Title: The Phone Call

I like this story! I really hope to read the next chapter very soon, I'm curious about 'the boss'!

Reviewer: Quinn Anonymous starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 14/09/07 03:52 am
Title: The Phone Call

Good chappie!

Gracie really does seem to have the emotional maturity of my fifteen year old sister.  She doesn't like not getting what she wants . . . and she has two muscley, violence prone men trying to make sure she gets what she wants.  Not a good combination . . .

The "boss" at "home" has me more worried, though.  Need more soon!

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 13/09/07 02:34 pm
Title: Sydney finds a present in a box

You guys write well but I really have a hard time with this story. 

Reviewer: RaChell Signed [Report This]
Date: 27/08/07 06:16 pm
Title: Jarod Is Caught

I like it a lot.  Fess up, though, which one of you wrote that shower scene?  Very vivid, um, imagery, and it confirms my suspicions that Jacci keeps cameras in the showerblocks:)

Seriously, though, the way you're adding depth to Gracie's character is fantastic.  You've really got me wondering who she is and where she came from.  Her interactions with Jarod are priceless!

Please write more soon.  I'll be sure to bug you until you do.



Author's Response: hey MP, thanks :D and for the shower scene, msot of that, if i remember is mine lol. I am Grace in the story and she had a very good ... looksee in the shower scene lol. and yay for the depth of Gracies character :D again she is mine, so im very pleased wiht that comment.

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/08/07 11:33 am
Title: Welcome Sydney

Would you write more if I said pretty please?  Strange and disturbing as it all is, I'm hooked.  Pretty please?

Author's Response: More is on the way and will be uploaded soon

Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 18/08/07 06:49 pm
Title: Welcome Sydney

continue, Please!! interesting turn of events for j, happenings unexpected



Author's Response: Hopefully will be some more on the way soon

Reviewer: CrackerjacknPez Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 11/02/07 12:35 pm
Title: Welcome Sydney

Really intense, not sure I quite get all of it. But it is interesting.

Author's Response: Yay, glad you liked it.

Reviewer: RaChell Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 30/01/07 12:06 am
Title: Welcome Sydney

I don't think I've read the previous version of this story so I don't really have anything to compare it to. But I like this story regardless. It's an interesting change that Jarods capturer is so young, both physically and mentally. Grace is so naive, and yet takes violence completely for granted, which is a very interesting combination. Looking forward to many more chapters.



Author's Response: thanks so much, there should be some more coming soon i hope (just waiting for the co-author bugs to be ironed out)

Reviewer: Manoline Signed [Report This]
Date: 29/01/07 07:27 am


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