THE EXTRA "H"

It was just another day. Plain and simple. The pursuit team, formed by Miss Parker, Sydney and Broots, continued to follow breadcrumb after breadcrumb, lead after lead. All in the hope, the ever so lasting hope, of catching their prey, the multi-faceted, multi-talented Jarod. They chased, he ran, they chased, he ran.

Yes, like I said, it was just another day. Or so it seemed.

By all appearances everything was exactly the same as it were any other day. But today, there was something different. They didn't know what it was, but they all felt like something was about to happen. And when they arrived at a small village in the center of nowhere, presumably to be Jarod's last known spot, they finally got their answers.

Or maybe it was just a confirmation that their inner hunches were right. Or maybe... I don't know. What am I? The Keeper of all Secrets? Go read an Encyclopedia! See if I care!

Calm down... It's just a story. Breathe...

Okay. I'm better now.

Where are the readers?

You sent them away.

Did not!

Carry on.

So, they were in the village and they decided to have a look around. It wasn't that long before they realized that everyone there was bald. There was not a single hair on their bodies. Men, women, children, they all look like copies of Broots and Mr. Raines.

"Oh, my God! Broots, they all look like you."

Hey! I've just said that!

"C'mon Syd! I'm not that bald."

"Yet. Come on, let's go catch Jarod."

"Why are you always like this?"

"It's not my fault. It's how this fanfic author is writing me."

Miss Parker and Sydney started to walk. Broots was about to follow their lead, when he looked to his left and saw a familiar face.

"Look, Miss Parker, there's your dad."

"My what?"

"Your... father."

She walked to him. There was fire in her eyes. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"Mr. R-Raines," the stammered.

"That's better. Where is he?"

He pointed to a man (bold, of course) next to a phone booth.

She hit him in the back of the head.

"Ouch!"

"That's not my dad, you moron! It's just a look-a-like."

"But, he looks just like him."

"Take a look around, you moron! In case you haven't noticed, everyone here looks exactly the same."

"I know that. But he really looked like––"

"Shove it! We don't have time for this silly babbling."

"Now, there's something I'd never thought to hear you say. Except, perhaps, on a fanfiction."

"Spare me, Syd. I'm not in the mood."

"That's more like it."

"Come on, let's go catch Jarod."

"Why are you always like this?"

"It's not my fault. It's how thi... Wait a minute! Didn't we do this already?"

"I think so."

"This story is just pure nonsense. Let's go."

They were about to go on their way, when Mr. Raines look-a-like approached them.

"Good morning."

They were instantly stunned. It was like they all got slapped in the face. Only without the physical pain. Just the surprise of... It's a bad metaphor, forget it.

"Hey. You look just like Mr. Raines. Only much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much nicer."

"And taller too."

Hey, people! We have a story to do here, remember?

"That's because I am Mr. Raines. I'm doing another story."

"Oh, that's nice."

"What about your height?"

"It's my shoes. They make me look taller."

"You're wearing women's shoes?"

"They hurt a bit but, a man's gotta make a living."

"Yeah, I know how that's like."

Is that directed to me?

"I have to go now. This place gives me the creeps."

Go on then.

"Okay then. Have fun with your story."

"Oh, I will. I think I'm gonna kill you there."

"No, not again. I'm sick of being killed."

"Yeah, it sucks to die, doesn't it?"

"I'll see you next time."

They watched Mr. Raines walk away and then went on their way.

After a while, they found a woman. Not the woman, just a woman.

"Hi. We're looking for a man named Jarod."

"Jarod? Oh, right! You musht be Mish Parker."

"What gave it away?"

"And you musht be Shydney and you're Brootsh.

"Well, actually, I'm Broots."

"If you're Brootsh, who are you?"

"I'm... Sydney."

"Of courshe you are, dear."

"Look, we don't have much time. Do you know where Jarod is or not?"

"Jarod's left. But he did ush all a big favor. He shaved us."

"He what?"

"He shaved us."

"What? You had like a crime lord in town and Jarod saved you from him, was that it?"

"No, no, no. Not shave... shave."

"I'm sorry. I'm confused."

"Me too."

"Sydney, any ideas?"

"I'm a shrink, not a phonetic dictionary."

Is there really such a thing or am I just making stuff up?

"What I mean ish: we ran out of shcisshors and our hairsh were sho long we're shtumbling on them. And Jarod came, opened a barbershop and he shaved us all."

"He... uh... did a very nice job."

"Thank you."

"How could you possibly have ran out of scissors?"

"I don't know. We just did."

"Why didn't you use razors or knives?"

"Trick question. Guess we didn't thought of that at the time."

"You've been a great help. Now, where can we find this barbershop of his?"

"It's just around the corner, my dear."

"Let's move, people."

And so they went. And, like every other time, they found nothing. Except a small red notebook and a note, which read.

Shorry you've mished me.

J

"He's gone."

"We already knew that."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"We couldn't. He didn't write it like that."

"Damn this writer! Let's go!"

They decided to resume the chase and leave "Baldsville" behind.

THE END

Lousy bastards! Next time I'll put them next to the penguins! See how they like THAT!